So to Seonwoo’s eyes, it looked the same as yesterday and now. He didn’t feel like she had been hovering between life and death just moments ago.
“You must have been very surprised, right?”
Just then, the Vice Director’s voice came from behind. He had somehow approached and was holding a chair in one hand. While doing so, he grabbed Seonwoo’s shoulder. He pressed down with subtle force as if telling him to sit here. Seonwoo was pushed along and slumped into the chair.
“There was a sudden seizure starting from dawn. There were several critical moments, but as you can see, the treatment ended well.”
The Vice Director explained his mom’s condition while patting his shoulder. Autonomic nervous system, intubation, oxygen saturation…… He listed off words unfamiliar to Seonwoo in succession. Anyway, it meant something went wrong with his mom’s body and she went into shock.
“Were the words too difficult?”
“……”
“To put it simply, Uncle can solve it no matter what, so Seonwoo doesn’t need to be anxious.”
The Vice Director, who said that, raised the hand that had been on his shoulder upward. A large palm stroked his head. Seonwoo sat still without avoiding it.
“……”
The touch smoothly sweeping along the grain of his hair was familiar. It was identical enough to recall even the sensation of lying uncomfortably on the sofa that day. As expected, that wasn’t a dream.
“What did you mean when you told me I should have resembled my mom?”
The hand stroking his head stopped. The large palm was quietly gripping the back of Seonwoo’s head.
“What do you mean by that?”
“You said it, Uncle. When I was sleeping on the sofa over there.”
“……”
The Vice Director had no answer for quite a while. At some point, the hand that had been holding his head disappeared. The Vice Director moved in front of Seonwoo and perched on the bed rail. Then he bent down while facing Seonwoo.
“Seonwoo.”
The Vice Director gathered both hands and held Seonwoo’s hand. It was the hand injured in the accident. He gently stroked the scar that remained vividly on the back of his hand.
The Vice Director’s hands miraculously had no rough texture at all. There should be calluses or something like traces of time, but they were only smooth.
Though there was no smell, the skin was soft as if hand cream had been applied. Moreover, all ten fingernails were neatly trimmed, so there was nothing bothersome wherever they touched. For a middle-aged man of that age, they were rare hands to see.
Yet Seonwoo thought he didn’t want to be touched any more than this, that he wanted to pull his hand away.
“It can happen when you’re surprised. When anyone is cornered, they have irrational thoughts. It’s absolutely not a strange thing. It’s not rare in today’s world and can be treated plenty. Since Seonwoo is young, you’d know that better.”
“……”
“Still, Uncle has been thinking of hospitalization as only a last resort. The attending physician recommended hospitalization several times but I refused for that reason. But hearing that Seonwoo even self-harmed, my thinking has changed.”
“……”
“Uncle tried to respect Seonwoo’s wishes as much as possible…… Now I see I was irresponsibly neglecting you. It’s been a long time since you took your medication too, hasn’t it?”
What the hell is this person talking about? Seonwoo was looking at the Vice Director pouring out long words with a dumbfounded expression. Because of his drooping eyes, it looked like he was staring, but he was actually glaring.
“I just did it to come to my senses.”
“Seonwoo. Normal people don’t do that. If you want to come to your senses, you drink cold water or wash your face. Self-harming isn’t ordinary.”
Now he even frowned. Whatever others do, whatever the standard for normal is, what does it matter? This works for me.
But the Vice Director didn’t give him time to argue back.
“I thought Seonwoo would answer calls from the hospital right away no matter what.”
“……”
“Were you very tired last night? Tired enough not to hear the phone ring?”
Seonwoo couldn’t say anything. When the call came from the hospital, he had been stomach-to-stomach with Taejeong.
“There’s no need to be so surprised. Hypersomnia is also just a common symptom.”
“……”
“That symptom is much better helped by an environment where medical staff can care for you rather than being alone at home. What do you think? Wouldn’t that be better for Seonwoo too?”
When Seonwoo gave no answer with a blank face, the Vice Director spoke as if there was no choice.
“If Seonmin wakes up and her only son is covered in wounds, won’t she be sad?”
“……”
It was the decisive words. Seonwoo completely shut his mouth.
His mom was generally laissez-faire, but she hated nothing more than Seonwoo coming home injured from somewhere. The day he got into a fistfight and the parents were contacted. It was his mom who arrived at the faculty office first. She arrived much faster than his dad and was the one who kept checking Seonwoo’s condition the whole time.
The Vice Director slowly raised Seonwoo, who gave no answer. He took him to the bathroom and made him stand in front of the mirror.
“Look. You’ve lost too much weight.”
What was reflected in the mirror was a face both familiar and unfamiliar. The features were the same but everything was different. Having lost weight, his cheeks were gaunt and his jawline was excessively slim. Under his eyes was dark and even his bangs had grown long, casting shadows.
It was a face he’d seen his whole life to the point of being sick of it, but this appearance was a first. Even he had to admit he looked like a mental hospital patient.
“You need to get healthy so Seonmin won’t worry. Seonwoo.”
The Vice Director said while kneading both of Seonwoo’s shoulders warmly.
“Don’t worry. From now on, you won’t be at Uncle’s house but in the same hospital as Seonmin.”
The gentle voice continued to be heard. The psychiatry department Seonwoo had visited was in the main building, but the ward where he’d be hospitalized was in an annex located a bit away. He’d receive treatment there and for safety, going out wouldn’t be possible without the attending physician’s opinion. But if he wanted, he’d let visitors come as much as he liked.
The Vice Director said so. Seonwoo read the contradiction, but that wasn’t what was important.
“If I’m hospitalized……”
When Seonwoo, who had been silently unresponsive, opened his mouth, the Vice Director bent down and made a show of listening attentively.
“That kid will be alone in that house.”
“……”
The Vice Director slowly straightened his body. Only the head part subtly went outside the mirror, so his face couldn’t be seen.
“Are you worried about Taejeong?”
Seonwoo frowned slightly as if displeased. It was a different emotion from worry. It wasn’t such an affectionate feeling.
It was like an imprint engraved in his mind. Only the thought that he couldn’t leave Taejeong alone in that house came up intensely. There were no satisfying words to express what kind of emotion this should be called.
“Even if Uncle says he won’t discipline Taejeong anymore, Seonwoo won’t believe it, right?”
“No.”
“Then how about this? What if I send Taejeong somewhere else?”
At that moment, Seonwoo turned around. The Vice Director was smiling as usual.
“I was thinking of sending him to his mom anyway.”
“Is it far from here?”
“Far. There’s a 13-hour time difference.”
“……”
Must be on the other side of the globe. If it’s that far, he might live his whole life without seeing the Vice Director’s face. Then wouldn’t life be better than now?
“His mom doesn’t hit him like Uncle does, right?”
“Of course not.”
“……”
“You’ve grown quite attached to Taejeong.”
The Vice Director had an expression where it was unclear if he was satisfied or displeased. His voice was flat, though he had wanted them to get along well before. There was no sign of him being happy.
The conversation flowed smoothly and it was decided that Seonwoo would be admitted to the psychiatric ward. Let’s get admitted within this week at the latest. Just, really just like that, the conclusion was reached.
He’d call a car. Ride it home and rest. Take a good nap and pack when he woke up. After that, wait until he contacted him. The Vice Director carefully told him step by step what Seonwoo should do from now on.
Then he took out an unfamiliar object from his suit’s inner pocket. It was a long case like a fountain pen case. When he opened the lid, inside were one empty syringe and three or four small glass vials fixed in place.
The Vice Director took out one glass vial and slowly inserted the needle. Right after that, he pulled out the needle. The liquid that filled the syringe was an extremely small amount. Such a minute amount that it was barely visible made it amazing that he could control it.
