That was the identity of what had slowly passed over his stomach just now. His thought processes were gradually becoming paralyzed. Seonwoo just blankly watched Taejeong licking his bare skin.
The place the tongue touched slowly came up. The tickling sensation on his stomach had at some point moved to his solar plexus, sharp canines touched his collarbone. The rolled-up top touched right below his chin.
Before he knew it, Taejeong was completely mounted on top of Seonwoo. His upper body with bare skin completely exposed and his firm chest pressed together without even a gap.
Taejeong crushed him in an embrace with both arms around his back. Even in his hazy state of mind, Seonwoo barely reached out and fumbled Taejeong’s left arm.
Hey, your shoulder…
His cheek was crushed so he couldn’t finish his words properly. Not satisfied with confining Seonwoo in his arms, Taejeong wouldn’t leave his mouth alone. He persistently licked his nape, bit like a dog biting, and rubbed his face like a child.
On top of that, with their bodies completely overlapped, he put his heavy weight on him. Seonwoo couldn’t resist because his body wouldn’t move as if pressed by sleep paralysis.
The blanket that had definitely been draped over Taejeong’s lower back was now covering all the way to the top of his head. It completely shut the two of them off from the outside.
Their position was the same, but because of the blanket that covered them by one layer, it felt even more narrow and close. Their bodies pressed against each other quickly heated up and the air became hot. Above all, the breath touching his nape was hot.
The space gradually narrowed until the blanket clung to their bodies suffocatingly. With Taejeong pressing down from above and his back crushed against the bed, he couldn’t escape.
The sensation of heavy pressure on his entire body and the lack of air made his breathing rapid. Seonwoo flailed his hands without realizing it. He felt like he would suffocate at this rate.
His body kept going limp and losing strength, so both legs spread open powerlessly. Taejeong, who burrowed between them, entangled his own legs.
Taejeong kept trying to burrow into Seonwoo. He strongly embraced his lower back and jerked his lower body. Thick thighs pressed down heavily on Seonwoo’s legs.
Then, like an accident, their centers touched as if grazing each other. It was very brief, but a chilling sensation ran down Seonwoo’s spine.
At that moment, his eyes snapped wide open.
A bluish light was coloring the entire hospital room. Because of the hazy atmosphere right before sunrise, it felt like he was lingering at the boundary between reality and dreams.
“……”
Seonwoo had stopped in the position of sitting up from the cot. His expression was frozen as if he had intuited something.
How long did the sound of birds chirping from outside the window continue? Seonwoo slowly lifted the blanket. And the moment he checked his lower body, Seonwoo’s face was colored with unprecedented shock.
He couldn’t believe it even seeing it with his eyes. He even fumbled and touched his swollen center. It wasn’t an illusion. He could clearly feel the heaviness touching his hand.
Seonwoo raised his heavy body and walked to the bathroom. He grabbed the sink with both hands and looked down. There was no sign of it subsiding.
With his head deeply bowed down, there was no movement. A suffocating silence continued. It was as if time had stopped. Then at some point, Seonwoo suddenly turned on the water in the sink.
He turned it on weakly, so the water that couldn’t pool in the sink immediately drained down the sewer. Seonwoo left the water running, then spun his body around and approached a corner of the empty bathroom.
Standing tall in front of the wall, he put his forehead against it. As soon as the cold tile touched his skin, he pulled his head back. Then he moved his head toward the wall again.
Thud, thud, thud, the weighted vibrations continued without stopping.
The dull sound of his forehead hitting the wall surface and the sound of water draining down the sewer overlapped and burrowed into Seonwoo’s ears. That stimulation rather made his consciousness drift away from reality.
The dream he had just been having came to mind. The image of himself entangled with Taejeong was vividly drawn. He could feel hot breath touching the nape of his neck. Along with it, the sound of gasping breaths wouldn’t stop.
What made Seonwoo even more serious than the bizarre act was his own behavior shown right before waking from the dream. His breath was cut off as if he would suffocate any moment, but Seonwoo had no intention of escaping from Taejeong’s arms.
“Crazy bastard…”
He muttered like a person who had lost their mind while fixing his gaze on the empty wall.
The solution Seonwoo chose was not masturbation but self-harm. Even when all his senses were focused on his forehead and the discomfort in his lower body disappeared, he didn’t stop. He had to come to his senses even if he had to repeat it until his head cracked open like this.
Only after quite some time passed did he stop the self-harm. When he touched his forehead, the area that had been hit was swollen. Blood faintly came off on his finger, perhaps because the skin had been scraped.
He brought the blood-stained finger under the faucet. It was instantly washed away by the flowing water and disappeared without a trace. Soon the sound of water stopped.
Outside, morning had completely dawned. Since it was bright around him even without turning on the light, as soon as Seonwoo came out of the bathroom, he could see his mother lying in bed.
“……”
His body had calmed down, but Seonwoo felt the urge to go back into the bathroom and this time ram not his forehead but his entire face.
He was in no position to humiliate Taejeong. He wasn’t in his right mind, doing this with his sick mother by his side. He couldn’t stay like this. He had to find out what the hell this was and fix it.
He immediately looked for his phone, but it wouldn’t turn on because the battery was dead. Seonwoo put his phone on charge and sat on the cot, lost in thought.
He had no idea what to search for on the internet. Wet dream about a man? As absurd questions mixed up jumbled in his head, Seonwoo became even more disturbed. He had never once in his life thought he would lust after a man who had the same thing dangling as him.
He felt like he wanted to get a clear answer from anyone. But that didn’t mean he could grab a nurse who came in for monitoring and ask.
“Did you not sleep well?”
The nurse checked the IV while examining Seonwoo. Overnight, his face was soaked in fatigue. She spoke to him asking if the cot was very uncomfortable, but there was no way it would enter Seonwoo’s ears.
Seonwoo couldn’t wait even that brief moment and couldn’t leave his phone alone. After the battery indicator appeared and disappeared on the screen several times, the power turned on. The battery was only at 1%. Seonwoo turned on the internet first while keeping the charger connected.
Wet dream from fatigue, wet dream causes, same-sex wet dream… He searched randomly. Posts expressing worries about similar experiences were not uncommonly seen.
Stories about sexual identity. And most answers said it was confusion or curiosity that could be experienced during puberty. Seonwoo scrolled down with an indifferent expression, then soon put down his phone as if he had lost interest.
Seonwoo rubbed his dry eyes with a sleepy face. Even if he added up all the time he had slept intermittently at dawn, it wasn’t even 3 hours. It was a state equivalent to pulling an all-nighter.
But he endured it in case he would continue the dream Taejeong appeared in if he fell asleep now. While sitting in the chair, he nodded off like a sick chicken and occasionally dropped his head, but he widened his eyes to not fall into deep sleep.
The day was too long. In the afternoon, he endured almost purely on willpower.
He starved all day, afraid he’d fall asleep like passing out if he ate food. He only drank water to stay awake, and even for that he walked to the water purifier in the lounge outside the ward.
He barely endured until night, but sure enough, the aftereffects came crashing down. His whole body felt heavy and droopy as if he had a fever. Seonwoo lay down uncomfortably on the sofa instead of the cot. He didn’t want to sleep in the place that had made him dream harmful dreams.
That might have been the problem. His mind was awake but only his body felt like it was heavily sinking below the surface of sleep. Then at some point his soles tingled. Thinking he had a cramp, he tried to change position but his body wouldn’t move. Even when he struggled with all his might, it was the same.
