When I came to my senses, I was standing alone in a remote place. After being dazed for a moment, I barely came to my senses and fumbled over my face. Nothing was smeared on my hands.
‘Was it a dream?’
No, that couldn’t be. The memory of pouring out a nosebleed and collapsing helplessly in front of everyone was vivid.
Then this side must be the dream. Though the sensations were strangely too vivid for a dream, I decided to think of it that way for now.
When I looked around, everything in all directions was white. As if trapped in a blizzard, there was nothing visible, just whiteness. Perhaps because of that, I even felt an eerie feeling beyond just silent.
If there was such a thing as an afterlife, would it feel just like this? To me, who doesn’t believe in God, death was just an empty ending, so if it were shaped into visible form, I thought it might be this pale.
After hesitating for a moment, I began moving my feet. I didn’t really know where I should go or what I should do, but I couldn’t just do nothing.
Actually, I wasn’t even sure if I was walking properly. Not only was it difficult to distinguish direction because the surroundings were too white, but even the places I stepped seemed vague, making it feel like I was walking on air.
How long had I walked like that?
A sound of something cracking came from under my feet. The moment I realized it was thinly frozen ice as if covered with frost, something flashed past, caught at the edge of my vision.
Only after looking around several times did I realize it was my appearance, or rather, the ‘original’ me.
The appearance of running somewhere urgently wearing a dobok. The appearance of pacing the hospital corridor restlessly like a crazy person. The appearance of sitting blankly on a bench, then covering my face with both hands and hanging my head low. Walking the streets aimlessly, then standing blankly as if lost among the crowds of people.
That was me from some time ago.
The moments of my life viewed from afar.
When I stopped in place and properly took in those panoramic scenes, the me in the screen turned their head to look at me.
“…”
The profound despair and unstable fear dwelling in those black eyes, the white headlight beams pouring over them, the two feet that seemed to have no intention of leaving the ground, and thus what was poured over my entire body…
Crash!
With a loud bursting sound, the flickering things shattered into pieces. The pure white light that poured out abundantly surrounded me as if devouring me.
Strangely, at that moment, I felt someone watching me.
In that indescribable gaze, I stiffened. It felt chilling, like I had become prey placed before a beast.
Fortunately, that sensation faded a little later. At the same time, a soft voice echoed from somewhere.
—You look delicious.
The voice, which paused for a moment as if smacking its lips, spoke again.
—I think your soul would have various flavors.
It was a statement that sounded strangely inhuman.
“I guess that’s not normal?”
—Yep.
He, or perhaps it, readily answered.
—One soul has one flavor. Because you live one life.
But it said it thought mine would have various flavors. The reason for that was, probably.
“Maybe it’s because I’ve lived multiple people’s worth of lives.”
—You’re one person, so how do you live multiple people’s lives?
To the voice asking in puzzlement, I readily answered.
“Some lives are like that.”
—I don’t know. I’ve never seen it.
Was it my imagination? The voice seemed to be heard a little closer. Even though the surroundings were still only white and nothing was properly visible, I felt that the owner of that voice had gotten closer to me.
—You’re the first.
When I blinked, a pair of eyes had approached right before my face.
The golden sparkling pupils were so clear they seemed to reflect beyond, and the light rippling inside the round interiors looked not of this world, beyond just mysterious. Moreover, the pupils were thin and pointed, giving a beautiful yet very alien impression.
Not human.
But what was truly amazing was that even though I realized that fact, I wasn’t particularly afraid.
Even though the eyes of a non-human thing were blinking right up close, scrutinizing me thoroughly. For some reason, it seemed like it wouldn’t harm me. I had that belief—no, that conviction.
After hesitating, I reached out my hand. I was curious why only its eyes were visible. Did other parts besides the eyes exist?
The eye shape of the thing that read my curiosity curved gently. The slightly high eye level lowered a bit to become similar to mine, and it felt as if it had lowered its head for me.
“…”
Something cold and puffy touched my fingertips wandering in the air. The white thing, neither like wind nor water, playfully gathered here and scattered there.
“What kind of form are you exactly…”
To my muttering, it answered.
—What would you like?
As if it would become so if I just wished for it.
“…Who knows.”
You, who suddenly appeared in a place that might be a dream or fantasy and commented about the flavor of souls or whatnot, were as bizarre as this space.
Then would you be beautiful unlike this world, as this place is, and as your eyes are?
The moment I imagined a beauty alien and cool, like an afterlife, he began to be created from my fingertips.
I carefully moved my hand to touch the thing becoming closer to a human form.
What was still visible was only a pair of pupils and a whitish outline, but still, after tracing the shape of the face, he seemed to feel somewhat human.
The lips that brushed my index finger parted slightly, and a slightly clearer voice said.
“Do you like it?”
When I cupped his face with both hands, he moved his head slightly and rubbed his cheek against my palm. A cool and ticklish sensation permeated smoothly along my palm lines.
“Your hands are warm…”
The vague appearance, soft voice, and childlike innocent way of speaking seemed completely mismatched yet strangely fit perfectly.
I, who had been silent, moved my hand to firmly pinch what was presumably his cheek with my fingers and…
“Ow ow ow.”
“Why are you speaking informally? How old are you?”
“It hurts…”
“Like hell it hurts.”
The cheek that I thought might resist a bit stretched out mushily. It had a texture exactly like a slime toy.
“That’s enough playing around. Send me back to where I was originally.”
“To live yet another life there?”
It asked with sparkling eyes.
“Strange. You died but didn’t die, and while borrowing the life of what will die, you’re simultaneously receiving protection from what is dying.”
I couldn’t understand what it meant right away.
While I was mulling over those words, he, who had slipped out of my grasp, spun around me.
“Amazing.”
He was curious about me.
“You look delicious.”
He innocently smacked his lips.
“I want to taste you…”
“Hey, dude.”
“If I use honorifics, will you let me eat you?”
Would I? I narrowed my eyes and glared, but he didn’t yield to the silent rebuke and boldly demanded.
“Then give me yourself after you die.”
An eventful life. Having gone through trials and tribulations and aerial battles, I’d heard all kinds of things. But the request to give him my soul because it looked delicious was truly, truly a first in all my life.
“When I see a delicious soul, I want to eat it.”
“…”
With sparkling golden eyes, he wheedled.
“Let me eat it. Please?”
“…”
“I won’t kill you. I’ll wait quietly. If I spit you out properly after eating everything, you can live the next life too.”
Hmm, he hummed and continued.
“Originally I’m too lazy to spit it out, but if you let me eat something delicious, I’ll make an effort to spit it out.”
He made an absurd and brazen request cheerfully.
I was about to say no, of course, but I hesitated.
‘Does it matter?’
According to his words, the point at which he would take my soul was after I died.
He also said he wouldn’t kill me, and as he said, if he spit it out properly, there seemed to be no aftereffects. Even if he accidentally swallowed it, there would be no impact on me who had neither belief nor expectation in the afterlife.
Realizing that I was hesitating, he stopped circling around me. The thing that stood still before me became smaller, eventually shrinking to about my waist level, then looked up at me with sparkling golden eyes.
“Give it to me.”
In the form of a whitish boy, he said.
“Give it to me…”
He looked too young to refuse.
“Are you going to tear and eat it painfully?”
“It won’t hurt!”
He jumped.
“Not at all. Absolutely not. It won’t hurt one bit. I hate painful things. What I hate will be something you hate too. Isn’t it?”
Perhaps because his form had become smaller, his voice sounded even more youthful.
“It’s okay. It’ll feel good. It’s becoming one, after all.”
“What are you saying when you’re so small…”
I thought it was quite a talent to speak in a way that would cause misunderstandings if anyone heard.
I clicked my tongue and said as if lamenting.
“Still, you really say you’ll wait.”
“Right now you’re too unstable.”
After pondering for a moment, he said.
“To become a more delicious soul, now won’t do. It would be troublesome if you died…”
I recalled the memory from before fainting and shrugged my shoulders. If the Chaos Meter had dropped even while I was unconscious, unfortunately my soul would have gotten closer to death.
Then it would result in ruining the gourmet pursuit of the guy aiming for my soul.
“I’ll help you.”
“How?”
“Um…”
He, who had instantly grown tall again, approached me with sparkling eyes.
“Will you try closing your eyes?”
