“If you have nothing to say, I’m going back to sleep.”
“Fuck, is it really like that…?”
Somehow feeling only an ominous premonition, I decided to escape back to dreamland without even asking Lee Hyeonseok for a detailed explanation. It was a strong expression that I had no intention of listening to what he had to say.
Lee Hyeonseok, for his part, seemed to have fallen into solitary contemplation again. His muttering appearance, like someone in shock, made me think that paying attention to it would lead to big trouble. Lee Hyeonseok was busy cursing by himself and was now even having pupil earthquakes.
I decided to pretend I hadn’t seen it and closed my eyes.
My anxiety about whether I could fall back asleep was brief—with only the night light on it was appropriately dark, and the room was comfortable, so my body quickly began to feel languid.
“Seo Jiwoo!”
“Snff, huh?”
I woke up when Lee Hyeonseok vigorously called my name. At first he had still woken me carefully, but this time he woke me without hesitation. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but suddenly coming to my senses, I sat up in surprise. I swallowed and reflexively answered, but this time too there was no response. He woke me up and again said nothing. What does he want to do now? Lee Hyeonseok was subtly blocking the clock so I couldn’t gauge the time either. The surroundings were quiet and not a speck of light shone through the curtains, so it was clearly still night.
“What time… what time is it now….”
“Do I really like you?”
Lee Hyeonseok was still looking at me. I tried to check the time with my not-fully-awake mind, but he was spouting crazy talk. Why is it bullshit every single day without a break? While being irritated only internally, I belatedly heard the word “like.” At first, the word “like” and Lee Hyeonseok didn’t match at all, so it only entered my ears but I didn’t properly recognize it. Soon my eyes opened wide and at the same time my brain chewed over Lee Hyeonseok’s words.
My drowsiness vanished in an instant.
I slowly scrutinized Lee Hyeonseok’s face. Before seeing his face, I still thought maybe it was a joke, but seeing his deadly serious expression and eyes that seemed like even he himself couldn’t believe it, that didn’t seem to be the case. Having made a confession that wasn’t a confession, he showed no shyness or embarrassment. He just gave off an atmosphere like someone who had seen a huge plot twist in a movie. And then he was now waiting for my answer.
Lee Hyeonseok moved slightly and the clock became visible. The hand was pointing to ‘3.’
“Ha.”
A hollow laugh came out involuntarily. At my hollow laugh, Lee Hyeonseok flinched, but I didn’t care and spoke. My absurdity couldn’t be hidden.
“You came to say that at 3 AM? An emotion you yourself don’t even know well?”
“Forget it, fuck. Sleep.”
At my answer, Lee Hyeonseok turned off the light and forced me to sleep. No, but this bastard. Who’s the one who should be cursing right now? I was about to give him a piece of my mind but thought I might hear more crazy talk, so I obediently closed my eyes. After staying still for a moment, I heard the sound of Lee Hyeonseok taking off his clothes, then soon felt him lie down next to me. I hoped his bizarre behavior would end here.
Contrary to my wish that the bizarre behavior would please end at 3 AM, Lee Hyeonseok woke me up again about two hours later. I thought he’d just sleep but that wasn’t it.
“Hey,”
“Huh…?”
My desire to ignore him and just fall asleep was thwarted when Lee Hyeonseok grabbed my eyelids and forcibly opened them. When I inevitably answered, Lee Hyeonseok finally let go of my eyelids.
“What are you going to do.”
Lee Hyeonseok, who had only raised his upper body and turned toward me, suddenly asked. It sounded vaguely like a threat. The expressionless face made it scarier. I firmly shut my mouth because I didn’t want to hear any answer that would come out of his mouth to ask what he meant. He made eye contact with me. Wow, what a long body you have.
“What are you going to do if I say I like you.”
Lee Hyeonseok, noticing that I had no intention of even asking the point of the question, kindly explained in detail himself. How nice it would be if he usually explained kindly like now without asking. How is it that he only gives unnecessary consideration so diligently? He really was a bastard you’d say would make a perverse frog eat his brother.
“…….”
As I escaped reality with idle thoughts, Lee Hyeonseok glared menacingly. I tried hard to find a proper answer, but nothing really usable came to mind. I was looking for an answer that wouldn’t go against Lee Hyeonseok’s mood when he pressed me with “Huh?”, so I ended up carefully speaking my true feelings.
“I, I’d like to carefully bury it in the ground….”
At my answer, Lee Hyeonseok fell silent. To think I’d learn that a face without any emotion is scary this way. The cold sweat wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t understand what on earth Lee Hyeonseok wanted to do with me, nor did I want to know. I was reading the room, but that said, I didn’t particularly have anything to say.
Just as I was staying still, he opened his mouth again. Can’t we just sleep…. It’s past 5 AM now.
“Why.”
“Huh?”
“Why, I’m asking.”
Lee Hyeonseok endlessly demanded reasons from me. Why, well, even the words “I like you” are only happy when a person says them—where is there anyone who would welcome a crazy bastard saying he likes you? If you’re in your right mind, it’s natural to avoid and be horrified. Everyone knew this except this bastard. Moreover, just a few days ago, wasn’t he the bastard who fucked up my body for two days because I didn’t do as he said? And the things he’s saying while waking people up at dawn are outrageous too. Anyway….
“I don’t like it.”
“You’ve been living comfortably lately, haven’t you?”
“You’re everyone’s star.”
While chewing over his conduct at Lee Hyeonseok’s out-of-the-blue confession, I couldn’t hold back and muttered my true feelings. Then the bastard who said he liked me even showed murderous intent and threatened me. That’s what he was good at. More than one or two unrefined words came to mind. But more than that, I was scared of his eyes filled with murderous intent, so I willingly switched my stance.
“…….”
Silence descended again. I placed my hand on Lee Hyeonseok’s upper body that was trapping me. Perhaps he didn’t think I would touch him, I felt his body stiffen rigidly. I ignored it and laid him back down in his spot. Lee Hyeonseok obediently followed what I did without any resistance. His obedience was irritating.
“…Let’s sleep first. Let’s sleep a bit and talk again.”
After pulling the blanket up to the end of his neck, I patted him a couple times. Then after turning off the night light, I also lay back down and said. There was no sound coming from beside me. The surroundings were quiet so only the ticking of the clock could be heard loudly.
Right. Let’s sleep, let’s sleep. What kind of ordeal is this while sleeping?
“Now that I think about it….”
“Hey!”
Since I only heard the ticking, I thought Lee Hyeonseok was also trying to sleep, but that wasn’t it. Lee Hyeonseok kept rambling unlike himself. I don’t know what he had so much to say, but his tongue was long today. There was no alcohol smell to suspect he came after drinking.
Eventually, when I got angry after having my sleep interrupted three times, he shut his mouth.
“At this point, isn’t it already genuine?”
I thought he shut it, but as expected, that wasn’t it. Lee Hyeonseok was now trying to persuade me. At the absurd claim, my drowsiness was stealthily trying to escape. I firmly closed my eyes and refuted before all my sleep was shaken off.
“Genuine my ass, thinking of what you’ve done up until now… you….”
I, who had been confidently refuting while even sighing, gradually got quieter as what I had done up until now also came to mind together. Breaking his head, almost burying him in the mountains, causing a penile fracture, almost making him suffocate from allergies, feeding him spoiled porridge… Lee Hyeonseok let it all slide.
“Definitely….”
Honestly, if it were me—no, even if it were someone else, they would have sued long ago and then some. Unless it was genuine as Lee Hyeonseok said, it would be impossible. I thought Lee Hyeonseok’s feelings were at most a “should we try dating?” level of liking, but now it seems a bit deeper. Not only was my conclusion based on reasonable suspicion lacking, but the person in question was coming out like that, so in the end I couldn’t help but have difficulty denying his feelings more than intended. Persuaded, I showed a flat expression.
When I thought about it, it was rather strange to be noticing this now.
“…….”
Silence descended in the room again. Having completely lost my sleepiness, I glanced at Lee Hyeonseok. Our eyes met immediately as if Lee Hyeonseok had been continuously staring at me. Lee Hyeonseok was, really, truly disgustingly shameless and composed. Is this the face of a bastard who just got rejected three times? Is this right for a bastard who confessed?
“What.”
Perhaps my expression wasn’t good, as Lee Hyeonseok asked in a disgruntled tone. The reason I, who received a confession, had no flutter or anything was all because of this attitude.
Even if I didn’t hope for him to blush, there should at least be seriousness for me to listen seriously, but this bastard had none of that and instead acted like someone who discovered a shocking fact. That attitude reminded me exactly of anecdotes saying “a funny fact from childhood turned out to be a big deal.”
I no longer felt like denying Lee Hyeonseok’s feelings. Now, rather than that, if I had to say, it was closer to the heart of an adult who heard a child say “Let’s get married when I become an adult.” The child is cute, but if you’re an adult with a sound mind, you’d only be pleased but no one would take those feelings seriously.
Who would flutter or be nervous hearing a child’s confession?
Of course, Lee Hyeonseok wasn’t a child nor was he cute, so I wasn’t pleased. Ah, I was nervous though. In case I’d get more fucked here.
Anyway, I decided to act like an adult who heard a child’s confession trying their best to protect the child’s innocence. However, I indirectly rejected him to protect not Lee Hyeonseok but myself.
“…Let’s sleep.”
I personally closed his eyes, which had no intention of closing, with my hand and recommended sleep to him. I resolved that if he opened his eyes again and talked nonsense, I’d forcibly put him to sleep then. Fortunately, perhaps because I kept saying let’s sleep, Lee Hyeonseok didn’t speak to me again. Lee Hyeonseok’s face seemed strangely warm, but I didn’t want to care anymore so I decided to just ignore it.
