2 years later.
Los Angeles International Airport, 1st floor. In front of the large monitor displaying departure times, various races bustled about. Euiju, standing at the edge of the crowd, checked his ticket once more and verified the time.
「20XX.12.23 7:30」
With 40 minutes still remaining until departure time, there was plenty of time. Since it was an early departure, he had spent the night at accommodations near the airport the day before, but perhaps because he hadn’t slept well, the area around his neck felt stiff. It was when he was massaging his shoulders and neck and moistening his throat with water he’d brought.
“Euiju hyung-ah!”
At the familiar voice, Euiju’s head reflexively turned. Since he had definitely said his last goodbye yesterday, it was a voice that shouldn’t be heard here, so Euiju’s eyes widened. The voice of the youngest, which until just recently would have made him choke up just from hearing it, awakened his brain that hadn’t been awake for long.
“Roun-ah!”
“Hyung!”
Euiju stably caught and held the body of Roun, who let go of Euiyeon and Chris’s hands and came running. Though he had grown a lot, the child, whose height fell far short of the average for an eleven-year-old, was held in his hyung’s arms and cutely dangled his feet.
“I surprised you, right? Huh? You were surprised I came, hyung-ah!”
“I was super surprised! How did you wake up so early and come?”
“I wanted to see hyung off, so I asked noona to definitely wake me up. I did well, right?!”
Roun, still Euiju’s little shadow, rubbed his face against Euiju’s chest and grinned mischievously. Euiju, who burst into laughter, pulled Roun into an embrace and lifted him straight up, and a baby bird-like exclamation burst from Roun.
“Ow. Euiju-ya! Roun is heavy now. Your back will break.”
Euiyeon, who had approached close by, tapped Euiju’s back gently and chided him.
“I said you didn’t need to come. Everyone must be tired.”
“How could I be comfortable sending you to Korea alone? Actually, I was going to come alone, but Chris…”
“Hey. Euiju.”
Chris, who had been standing blankly next to Euiyeon, called Euiju. He shyly held out a cute paper bag that didn’t match his large build.
“You haven’t had breakfast yet, right? Chris woke up at dawn to make it. I picked at a few and they were really delicious.”
“Right. I ate some too and they were super tasty!”
Chris, who was a head taller than Euiju, scratched the back of his head with reddened cheeks at the praise. It was a shy action that didn’t match his tall height, along with his fierce eyes, firm jaw, and brawny muscles.
“Thanks, Chris.”
When Euiju spread his arms, Chris came in for a hug. Though it was hard to breathe from being squeezed with strong force, the man had a puppy-like charm despite his mountain-like build.
“Thanks for coming, everyone.”
Euiyeon, who had been looking at Euiju with an affectionate face, spread both arms. Euiju naturally entered that embrace and hugged his noona tightly.
“Study moderately when you go. You’ll be busy when you return, so if you do it like when you were here, you’ll really get scolded by me.”
“Haha. Okay.”
The solid electronic prosthetic made of metal material patted Euiju’s back for a long while. Unlike at first, it was now a gesture with no awkwardness at all.
“Isn’t Roun going to cry today? He was crying so much yesterday.”
“Wh-when did I cry! Ah noona, really…”
As the fact that was supposed to be kept secret was revealed, Roun’s face quickly changed to a tearful expression. When Euiju playfully rolled his eyes, Roun ran to Chris and clung to him as if upset. The mischievous hyung and noona watching that sight looked at each other and giggled.
A happy smile hung on Euiju’s lips as he watched Roun clinging to Chris and whining. Just 2 years ago, he couldn’t have even imagined that child would be completely cured and running around by his side like this, so the emotions were bound to be special.
Roun, who turned eleven this year, was much smaller than his peers since the period he spent lying down was 5 years. The child, who had watched Euiyeon and Euiju suffering right next to him, had matured excessively fast, and didn’t rely only on Euiju like before. Moreover.
“Chris. Hold my hand!”
Because he liked Chris, Euiyeon’s lover and the man who had formed a marital bond with her, as much as his own hyung, Euiju’s empty spot didn’t seem to feel as big as before. A pleasant smile also hung on Euiju’s lips as he watched the child holding Chris’s large hand and grinning brightly.
“I’m counting on you. Chris.”
“Don’t worry, Euiju.”
When Euiju held out his hand, Chris smiled brightly and clasped it. In the exchanged glances, there were things like unspoken pledges between men.
***
After finishing the Korean in-flight meal, Euiju opened his phone’s photo album and began looking at the photos he had taken over time. Since it was his first time entering Korea in 5 years and 6 months, most of the photos remaining on this phone were taken in America.
—Can I live with you in Korea too?
Chris, Euiyeon’s husband who had looked after the twins and Roun like his own family, had confessed he wanted to live together in Korea, and Euiju was entering first because he needed to prepare for his family to settle in Korea.
The twins had to enter a new high school come March, and Roun also needed to prepare appropriate homeschooling since he had skipped elementary school due to his illness. Moreover, with Chris, who was preparing a business, also coming over to Korea to live together, they needed to find a better and more spacious house than before.
‘Already like this…’
A small smile hung on Euiju’s lips as he looked at photos of the youngest who had grown so much. Even until entering America, he had come in embracing all kinds of depression and despair, hoping only for a miracle. Even during the early treatment period, there was no hope visible at all, but before he knew it, Roun had grown into a child who could do everything on his own like peers his age.
There were times when he resented heaven, asking why only his family was given such trials. The family’s downfall, his parents’ death, Euiyeon’s accident. Even the youngest’s illness. At that time, it was so unfair that he was desperate enough to want to burn away his body…
On Euiju’s face, now full of happy energy, a gentle-colored sunset carefully settled down like paint dissolved in water. 5 years ago, even when boarding the plane to America, that face full of despair was now gone.
At that moment, a familiar face entered Euiju’s eyes as he was flipping through photos. It was Haeseong’s childhood appearance that he had saved from the internet before.
‘It’s been a while.’
Euiju, who had been looking at and caressing the child’s photo for a long while, closed his eyes and reminisced about the past. He took out and examined things he had buried in his memory for a while.
*Child Actor Jin Haeseong Suddenly Halts Activities. “Decision Due to Worsening Panic Disorder”*
About 5 years ago, not long after Euiju left for America, articles about Haeseong halting his activities burst out in succession, and he disappeared without showing his face in the media. He literally vanished suddenly.
—What I said about not being able to live without ahjussi, it’s not a lie. Don’t do the same thing as those people. Please don’t do that…
—Don’t leave me behind. Absolutely not…
Since he had halted activities as soon as he left, the guilt of abandoning the child began to endlessly consume Euiju. Above all, the fact that that lonely and solitary child had to spend time alone without anywhere to lean on often choked Euiju’s breath.
—Now I also feel concerned and sorry for Haeseong. When he cries like this, I want to hold and comfort him, and my heart hurts when I see him in pain. I’ve never felt that for anyone who wasn’t family until now…
The words he had conveyed to Haeseong in the past were sincere truth without a speck of falsehood. For Euiju, who throughout his life had never let anyone but family into his boundaries, Jin Haeseong was the first person to break that framework.
It was only a few months. Just spending that short time together made Haeseong become not a light existence that Euiju could easily turn away from. That’s why he couldn’t give up.
*Team Leader. Have you been well? I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you by phone. I would be grateful if you could deliver the enclosed postcards and letters to Haeseong. I’m truly sorry but… please don’t tell the director.*
Three months after arriving in America, Euiju sent a package to Kim Jaeho. Along with an apology letter saying he was sorry for leaving without a word, sorry for leaving him alone for months, he enclosed an email where they could exchange contact, the mobile phone number he used in America, and his home address written in detail along with the letter.
Jin Yeongseol, who could even touch his family, was a big and frightening existence, but it couldn’t be helped. If he didn’t do at least that, he felt like he would really go crazy.
Kim Jaeho conveyed that he had delivered it well to Haeseong. Euiju naturally thought Haeseong would contact him immediately upon receiving it and waited.
However, there was no contact.
Since there was a possibility the contact had been missed, Euiju occasionally sent postcards even while busy, but for 3 years there wasn’t a single contact or letter from Haeseong.
Not even once, until he became an adult and returned with the film <Ripe>.
An air of self-reproach appeared on Euiju’s face as he recalled that fact.
‘It was excessive arrogance.’
Even without him, the child had grown well and completed a splendid comeback as a perfect man. Jin Haeseong, who had captured the image from an androgynous child actor to a man overflowing with wild charm, started external activities again and met another heyday. In his face, there was no trace of worry or pain at all.
He had lived well without Euiju.
‘He was a child who could live that well even without me. He was a strong child, but who was I to…’
Haeseong was a strong child. Euiju, who realized contact would never come in the end, didn’t wait for Haeseong’s contact after that. During that period, he started rehabilitation for the youngest and personal studies he had been preparing, becoming unbelievably busy, so he hadn’t even looked up his news for the past 2 years, and had buried it like that in one corner of his heart.
A bitter smile formed on Euiju’s lips as he stared at Haeseong’s photo. After arriving in Korea and having some leisure, he quietly closed his eyes while thinking he should rewatch Haeseong’s works.
***
“Wow…”
Euiju, facing a feast of Korean language after a long time, let out an exclamation tinged with satisfaction. Having lived for nearly 5 years looking at scenery full of English everywhere he went, it was quite novel to see Korean everywhere he looked. When he exited the long airport exit, gentle sunlight that penetrated the thick glass greeted Euiju. Since it was Korean soil he was stepping on after a long time, Euiju couldn’t hide his excited mood.
How long had it been since he had such a leisurely mind, having spent the past 2 years busy without a moment to spare? Euiju, who had deeply inhaled Korea’s familiar and affectionate scent after a long time, moved his steps toward the taxi stand.
Moon Jeonghun, who was down in the provinces, insisted he would come pick him up somehow even during a business trip, but Euiju also expressed his refusal somehow. His luggage was light anyway, and he didn’t have a shameless enough disposition to call out a busy person to make them act as a driver in the first place.
“Please go to Samseong-dong.”
Euiju, who boarded the taxi, told the driver the address where Moon Jeonghun’s house was.
Once he found a house, he planned to start studying in earnest, take the exam, and live stably. Though he couldn’t graduate from school and was expelled, he had studied in his spare time to become a certified public accountant using his major. Having spent 5 years in America, he was confident in English, and if he became an accountant, he could obtain stable income enough to care for his family.
Having shaken off the child’s illness, there was nothing to fear or be blocked by.
Euiju thought everything would go smoothly.
[Actor Jin Haeseong’s controversies keep bursting out. Following the assault dispute with a civilian that occurred last August, this is the second incident related to assault.
The Seoul Gangnam Police Station reported that around 3 AM that day, an assault dispute broke out between Jin Haeseong’s party and 4-5 other customers at a bar. The agency said…]
Until Haeseong’s real news, which he hadn’t heard for the past 2 years, flowed out from the radio, that is.
