“If Jiyul likes me, that’s truly an honor for me. However……”
“……”
“Jiyul is still young and I’m an adult. Not only do I not have those kinds of feelings for Jiyul, but since Jiyul is a famous person, I have to be even more careful in that regard. Earlier Haeseong worried that I’d get hurt, but in reality, if there’s a problem, the blow will inevitably go to Jiyul more than to me.”
That was the natural order of this industry. No matter how much the man was at fault, the woman’s side took the bigger hit. Moreover, wasn’t Jiyul a minor who had a long way to go before becoming an adult? Though young, Jiyul, who knew that fact well, nodded and wiped away her tears.
The still-young girl couldn’t hide the fluttering emotions of a new beginning. It was an age when she could be like that, an age when it was possible, so Euiju didn’t want to blame her any further.
After some time had passed, Kim Jaeho and Jiyul’s manager entered the room simultaneously.
“Jiyul-ah. Are you okay?”
“No, what the hell is all this commotion?”
Euiju explained the whole story to the two who were catching their breath. Team Leader Kim Jaeho, who had been listening to the story quietly with his arms crossed, interrupted Euiju’s words and spoke seriously.
“First of all, stirring up the staff here is a matter for later. Rather, it could make things blow up bigger. Where’s Haeseong?”
“I think he went down to the parking lot alone.”
“I’ll wrap things up here, so hurry and go to Haeseong. You can’t leave the kid alone.”
“…I’m truly sorry. I feel like I’ve caused unnecessary trouble.”
“Euiju-ssi is doing all the hard work alone, so what’s this compared to that? Jiyul-ssi, don’t worry too much either. Haeseong did react too sensitively. Geez, I thought he’d calmed down his temper somewhat, but what’s all this commotion?”
The team leader kicked at the broken dishes scattered on the floor and clicked his tongue.
When Euiju bowed his waist, the team leader patted Euiju’s shoulder. After greeting Jiyul and her manager as well, Euiju left the room with hurried steps. His heart was anxious because he’d already left Haeseong alone for nearly an hour while sorting out the situation.
Euiju, who had come down to the parking lot almost at a run, approached the quietly parked car. When he opened the driver’s seat, he could see Haeseong sitting not in the passenger seat but in the back seat. Without a word, Euiju closed the driver’s seat, opened the back door, and got in.
Haeseong was just looking out the window with his phone thrown far away. He was emitting such a cold aura that it was obvious his mood was very hurt. Even though Euiju sat down next to him, he was busy just looking out the window without moving at all.
—If ahjussi gets hurt, I really won’t let it go
Recalling the words Haeseong had said a little while ago, Euiju somehow felt a tingling in his chest.
“Haeseong-ah.”
“……”
“Were you worried something might happen to me?”
He deliberately spoke in a more affectionate and gentle manner, but there was no response.
“Look at me for a bit. Hm?”
Euiju reached out his hand to soothe Haeseong. At that moment, Haeseong suddenly turned his head and made eye contact with Euiju.
“……”
Euiju’s pupils shook drastically.
Unlike what he had thought—that he would be very angry—Haeseong’s eyes had sunk down too gloomily. As if he would burst into tears at any moment, they were depressed and moist. The gaze he faced was so miserable and desperate that his breath caught with a thud.
Surprised, Euiju moved closer to Haeseong.
“Haeseong-ah. I’m sor……”
“I did wrong.”
“What?”
When a word he hadn’t expected to hear at all stuck in his ear, Euiju’s eyes widened. The boy’s lower lip trembled. Haeseong bit his lip and continued speaking.
“I was so, so angry that I broke my promise. I’ll apologize. I’m sorry. So, don’t hate me.”
“……”
“I tried to endure it but I just couldn’t. From now on, I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen… Don’t hate me.”
As words that seemed like they would never come out of Haeseong’s mouth poured out in a rush, Euiju frowned. He was flustered.
“I kept thinking about it alone. If strange rumors spread because of Seo Jiyul, and as a result ahjussi gets in trouble and leaves, I’ll be left alone again.”
“……”
“I didn’t really know what loneliness was when ahjussi wasn’t here.”
“……”
“Not anymore. I’m so scared of falling asleep alone at night. I wish ahjussi would sleep with me every day, and I wish ahjussi would pay more attention to me than to his family. You asked before why I didn’t want to go to ahjussi’s house, right? Because I’m jealous. I’m so jealous I can’t go to ahjussi’s house. I get so angry that the kids only look at and cling to ahjussi. But… you said it’s natural for family to be like that. If that’s the reason, I can’t even be angry.”
“……”
“But… when I saw Seo Jiyul doing that earlier, I got incomparably more angry than that. I’m sorry for getting angry. I did wrong. I, don’t hate me……”
A voice laden with sobbing flowed out through trembling vocal cords. Euiju’s pupils scanned the trembling Haeseong with pity.
“……”
While alone in the car, Haeseong seemed to have thought so much, excessively so, that he had reached a tragic conclusion.
Fearing that Euiju might turn away from him again like before, fearing he might be abandoned again, fearing he might be left alone in the end as always. The child suffering from lack of affection was afraid of being hated by the only adult he trusted.
He had thought Haeseong was just blinded by jealousy and angry. He’d only thought he was throwing a tantrum because things weren’t going his way, and only thought he was causing a scene because he couldn’t contain his anger.
Only after properly facing Haeseong’s weakened true feelings and realizing the fear that had occupied his interior did Euiju have to let out a deflated breath in regret. His nose bridge and eyes quickly stung.
“I can’t live without ahjussi anymore. Really now… I truly can’t imagine it.”
Drip, drip. Finally tears began to flow from his pretty eyes and wet the seat. Haeseong’s face, as if fearing something, exuded a desperation that made him wonder why he hadn’t noticed it all this time.
Euiju, who had been silently watching Haeseong, reached out his hand. When he touched Haeseong’s face to see it since it wasn’t visible with his head deeply bowed, Haeseong turned his head sharply away. It seemed he didn’t want to show his tear-stained face.
“It’s okay. I won’t look.”
Euiju turned his head the other way and pulled Haeseong’s shoulder into his embrace. Without much resistance, Haeseong was drawn by his touch and came into Euiju’s arms.
Pat pat. Euiju’s gentle hand carefully patted Haeseong’s back.
Before long, Euiju’s chest became soaked with Haeseong’s tears. Along with increasingly intense sobbing.
A child with deep wounds easily develops defense mechanisms. Their self-esteem is low, their self-deprecation severe, and above all, they can’t trust themselves.
Though his height was growing, Haeseong’s heart still remained at their first meeting.
The child experiencing growing pains in both body and mind was being neglected—though his body was growing, he lacked the nutrients of affection and warm attention that would help his heart grow strong.
As his own existence had taken root deeper than expected in such a Haeseong’s heart, Euiju somehow felt he wanted to watch over this child for a long time. He felt a sense of responsibility. He wanted to let this child know what true affection and love were.
Euiju embraced and gently caressed the back of Haeseong, who was hugging his back with all his might.
“You’ve become as precious to me as I am precious to you, so what should I do? As long as circumstances allow, I’ll continue to stay by your side, so you don’t have to be too anxious.”
“……”
At Euiju’s words, Haeseong’s movement as he cried in his embrace stopped. He seemed to be pondering something deeply, then soon opened his mouth with a voice swollen from crying.
“…How can I believe those words? I’m not even ahjussi’s family.”
A brief silence flowed. Euiju, who had been carefully stroking Haeseong’s head, slowly opened his mouth.
“Haeseong-ah. Of course it’s true that family is the most precious existence to me. However, now you also weigh on my mind and I feel sorry for you. When you cry like this, I want to hold you and soothe you, and my heart aches when I see you in pain. I’ve never felt such things for someone who isn’t family until now……”
As Euiju trailed off without finishing his words, Haeseong, who had been buried in his chest, raised his head. He looked up at him with a face full of tears. Haeseong’s clear and pure face, which couldn’t be seen easily, was revealed.
“So now don’t be anxious and trust me. Ahjussi likes Haeseong now too. Haeseong said he couldn’t live without me even though I’m not his family, right? Can’t you think of it as the same thing for me?”
In the eyes that met, tens of thousands of emotions appeared and disappeared repeatedly. Soon, a tear pooled in the child’s eyes fell with a plop.
What was revealed by that was pupils filled with joy.
Even after hearing Euiju’s words, Haeseong was speechless for a long while. He just buried his face in Euiju’s chest again and squirmed in his arms, acting spoiled in a way that didn’t match his age.
Haeseong broke the peaceful silence and opened his mouth.
“…Ahjussi is right about everything.”
“Hahaha!”
At Haeseong’s whisper, Euiju burst into laughter. He hugged Haeseong tightly and affectionately patted his back.
The interior, from which all the sharp atmosphere had disappeared, only exuded a sweet aura. When Euiju buried his face in Haeseong’s hair, Haeseong, while sniffling, rubbed his face against his chest again.
