Even though it was a weekday morning, the obstetrics and gynecology clinic was crowded. Since we came without an appointment, our turn was way back, so we had to sit and wait for a while.
While waiting, I kept fiddling with Won Dogyeong’s hand the whole time. I pressed down on his palm firmly like kneading dough. It’s like that toy my older sister used to play with when we were little. That squishy thing that changed shape however you pressed it.
As the wait got longer, he tried to touch my face midway through to check my temperature. I’d worn a mask worried about passing my cold to others, so he pushed his hand through the gap in the mask and touched my cheek.
His cold fingertips brushed against my cheek and pulled away.
To me, it didn’t feel like my fever had risen further, and it seemed fine to him too since he didn’t say anything particular.
My name was called, and when we entered the examination room and took my temperature, it was similar to this morning as expected.
The doctor prescribed medicine and told me to just take it, that there was no need to worry. He said it could actually be worse if my fever rose and my stamina dropped. He also advised me to definitely come to the hospital if it got too difficult or if I developed an excessively high fever.
Should I have taken painkillers? I was glad we came to the hospital quickly.
On top of that, just seeing the doctor’s calm face made me feel a bit reassured. My unsettled heart calmed down as if I’d confirmed it was nothing serious.
As soon as we got home, I took the medicine and headed straight back to bed. Since it turned out this way anyway, I might as well sleep a ton.
“If anything happens, call me. I’ll be in the living room.”
“Okay.”
“…Should I turn off the air conditioner?”
“No, on dehumidify mode…”
I urgently stopped him as he picked up the remote. Separate from the cold, I absolutely hated mugginess. I could just cover up with the blanket.
Won Dogyeong sighed and put down the remote, then closed the curtains, turned off the lights, and went outside.
As I lay in the silent room looking at the ceiling, random thoughts floated around. I slipped my hand under the hem of my T-shirt and slowly rubbed over my belly.
Has it come out a bit? It seems like it has, or maybe it hasn’t…
I still can’t really tell. I’m still wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing, but it’s not particularly uncomfortable. My waist does seem to fit a bit more snugly than before, but it’s still wearable.
The morning sickness has improved a bit compared to when it was at its worst. Since there were signs of it subsiding, it was much more bearable. For a while, I struggled at the office making excuses every lunch break that I had no appetite.
There were times I went right up to the cafeteria entrance, then turned around and ran to the bathroom. I’d clutch the toilet bowl sweating cold sweat, then come back and make excuses that my breakfast wasn’t sitting well. That was rough.
Since I wasn’t feeling well, my complexion must have looked bad too, because I heard people asking if I was sick more often than usual. From what I could tell, I think I lost a bit of weight too. My face got gaunt. I don’t like it because I look sensitive.
At home, it was fortunate that Won Dogyeong was there so I could eat something. If I’d had to suffer morning sickness at full intensity 24 hours a day, I might have seriously considered quitting my job.
Won Dogyeong… Won Dogyeong will probably be a good dad. Surprisingly, he had a talent for taking care of people.
No, rather than talent, should I call it devotion?
The one I was worried about was actually me.
In my life, I hadn’t really been in a position to care for and teach someone.
At home, I grew up as the late-born youngest, and among all the cousins on both my maternal and paternal sides, I was the youngest. The only person younger than me around was Doa.
I liked kids, but I hadn’t actually dealt with them much either. At most, I’d met my friend’s daughter once or twice and played with her.
I wonder if she even remembers me. She was a high school friend, so I met her together with Won Dogyeong, and my friend’s daughter liked the actor uncle so much.
I was treated like leftovers. She only hugged me when she wanted me to buy her snacks. It was so sad, Won.
If Yongyong also blatantly likes Won Dogyeong more, I think I’ll really be sad. At the very least, I hope he likes us similarly.
What do you have to do for kids to like you?
You can’t just do only what they like, right?
I’ve never scolded them before.
Since this wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I had more of these various worries. Because I had to worry and prepare at the same time.
At least it was fortunate that thanks to Won Dogyeong, I didn’t have to worry about childcare expenses. Even if something happened to me by any chance, he’d at least feed and raise Yongyong.
Thinking about it again, in the big picture, having Yongyong might be fortunate.
It’s fortunate that I could have a child, it’s fortunate that it was Won Dogyeong who was next to me when the heat cycle hit, we’re somewhat financially stable, and I’m reasonably old enough.
It’s not like you can practice this by planning it anyway.
So just get along well and come out, okay?
I stroked my lower belly with my fingers and grumbled internally.
Go telepathy, yap.
As I was thinking about this and that, I started to feel drowsy. I gripped the blanket covering up to below my chest and closed my eyes.
Maybe because I had a bit of a fever, my sleep was light. Even though I was clearly asleep, I felt like my body was floating. As my consciousness repeatedly sank below the surface of sleep and rose back up in that darkness, I heard the sound of the door carefully opening.
Won Dogyeong approached the bedside with slow steps as if trying not to make any sound.
When I opened my eyes slightly and stirred a bit, he covered my eyes with his hand and said “Sorry, sleep more,” carefully tucking a thermometer between my arms. The pheromones flowing out gently covered my eyes, which felt nice.
When Won Dogyeong, who had checked the thermometer that beeped softly, slowly tried to remove his hand, I unconsciously grabbed the hem of his clothes. It’s just right like this.
He hesitated, then brushed away the hair covering my forehead and asked “Should I not go?”, so I nodded slightly.
The bed shifted slightly as he got in and lay down in the spot next to me. The hand patting my chest was affectionate. I fell asleep again while breathing in the pheromones wafting gently from beside me.
*
When I opened my eyes again, my vision was still pitch black. For a moment I couldn’t get my bearings and thought it was already night, but it was because of the meticulously drawn blackout curtains. Seeing that a little light was seeping in at the bottom, it was still daytime. Only the sound of the air conditioner running could be heard quietly in the silent room.
When I turned to the side, Won Dogyeong was asleep curled up on top of the blanket. Seeing his phone rolling around next to his face, he must have been watching a drama alone again while I was sleeping and fell asleep.
I picked up the phone precariously wedged in the gap between the mattress and frame and moved it onto the nightstand.
I rolled over toward him and carefully observed his sleeping face. I wondered what he was dreaming about—his eyeballs moved occasionally beneath his tightly closed eyes. The sound of his gentle breathing flowed out between his slightly parted lips, filling the silent room.
Come to think of it, did he eat anything?
Even when I woke up intermittently, I didn’t hear any cooking sounds or the sound of utensils from outside. Seeing that only the TV sound came very quietly, he might have been sitting there without eating.
Instead of worrying about my food, he should take better care of his own meals.
I poked Won Dogyeong’s cheek as he slept beside me. Even while unconscious, it must tickle because he turned his head to avoid it. But seeing that he didn’t wake up, he must have been tired.
Seeing him crumpled up in one corner of the bed was both a bit funny and made me feel sorry.
I carefully pushed him aside and gently pulled out the blanket that was underneath. Won Dogyeong stirred midway and let out a small mumble, so I froze for a moment before pulling the rest of the blanket’s edge.
Then I half sat up and covered him as he lay there with the blanket. Since he’s tall, I couldn’t quite reach his feet, so I struggled and threw it to successfully cover him completely.
I flopped back down on the bed. As I got used to the dark room, the outlines became faintly visible. I stared at the ceiling while quietly listening to his breathing.
Won Dogyeong, who stays by my side obediently when I tell him not to leave.
Won Dogyeong, who worries about me even when I whine out of nowhere or complain about being in pain.
It wasn’t just today. He was always there flawlessly at the necessary moments. As if it were natural, as if he knew me better than I knew myself.
It was a realization that hit me anew.
I wriggled and turned to my side. I spread open his arm as he lay on his side and burrowed into his embrace. As our bodies got close, the foot I’d worked hard to cover with the blanket earlier touched my foot with a thud.
When I pressed my face against his chest and closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of his heart beating shallowly and evenly in his sleep resonating in my ears. The pheromones flowing out defenseless burrowed into my skin pleasantly.
“Yeo Jeongwon…?”
Whether he’d finally opened his eyes from my movement, Won Dogyeong mumbled my name in a sleepy voice.
“Yeah.”
“You awake? Has your fever… gone down a bit…?”
He was half-submerged in sleep, so his words were slow.
“Sleep more.”
When I looked up from within his arms and spoke, Won Dogyeong seemed to regain his senses a bit as he scrunched his eyes and opened them slightly. After struggling to lift his head for a moment as if figuring out what situation this was and looking at me, he soon slipped his arm under my head and hugged me tightly.
Even though he still seemed to have drowsiness remaining, my condition must have bothered him because he pushed his hand through the gap in our embrace, ran it over my neck, and pulled away.
“You seem better than before…”
He slowly stroked my back and let out an even breath. He seemed to be falling asleep again.
