When His Highness arrived at his office, he had me stand beside him again. This was also something we had reached a compromise on after I repeatedly refused his attempt to give me an auxiliary chair, settling on just standing.
“A letter came from your family. Marquis Caesius sent it.”
Unlike me, who wanted to run away immediately, His Highness continued speaking composedly. It was fortunate that another conversation topic came up so I could turn my mind elsewhere.
“Caesi… no, my father?”
I, who was about to say Caesius family out of habit, hastily changed my words. If Aila said ‘Caesius family’ instead of ‘our family,’ it would be too distant. I realized a beat too late that it was too late to take back words already spoken.
“Yes. Sir Ken brought it saying it had been at the knights’ building for quite some time and was about to be returned.”
His Highness continued what he was saying without pointing out the mistake. It was absurd for a guard knight to walk while conversing with His Highness like this, but no one except me pointed it out. Among the guard knights, I seemed to be the only one finding this situation torturous.
“I’ve caused you trouble. Then should I receive it from Sir Ken?”
“No. I checked the contents.”
As I was wondering why His Highness had opened it, I recalled that Aila had been under suspicion and answered haltingly.
“My, my father doesn’t really know the reason I became a guard knight. He is devoted to the imperial family…”
“I didn’t open it because I suspected the Caesius family.”
The impulse arose to ask why he checked it then, but I didn’t dare. I was in a position where I had to accept it even if His Highness checked a letter sent to me for no particular reason.
“May I ask what the contents were?”
“It said a banquet is being held for Marquis Caesius’s birthday, so you should attend for at least one day.”
If the banquet were held in a distant place it would be one thing, but if it was held in the capital, there was no reason to skip it. The only concern was that I didn’t know Marquis Caesius’s birthday.
‘I haven’t memorized the marquis’s birthday.’
No matter how much scandal Aila had been involved in, he wouldn’t be such an unfilial child as to not even know his father’s birthday. I had to avoid showing I didn’t know as much as possible.
“May I attend the banquet?”
I asked appropriately, not wanting to show I didn’t know the marquis’s birthday. I also calculated he wouldn’t allow it. However, His Highness, who was turning pages and signing documents, laughed lowly.
“If Sir Aila wants to, then attend.”
The answer that came was unexpected. Since opening my eyes again, there had been absolutely no time alone and going out was in an atmosphere I couldn’t even mention, so I wondered if I had been too frightened by excessive self-consciousness. As I said nothing in surprise, perhaps interpreting it as meaning I wanted to go, His Highness continued speaking while moving his hands busily.
“If you’re thinking of attending, go tomorrow.”
He asked leisurely, so I naturally thought I’d have some time to choose, but not at all.
‘Tomorrow already?’
I tried not to show my flustered state. I thought about not attending due to the rushed schedule, but I wanted to think alone about this matter. Moreover, when I recalled what happened at the last meal, I could make a quick decision.
‘I didn’t even know what foods were dangerous for Aila to eat. I should use this opportunity to learn about Aila and the Caesius family.’
“If you permit it, I will fulfill my filial duty and return.”
“Yes. You must return.”
His Highness repeated what I said as if chewing on it, then soon concentrated on his work. When the conversation broke off, I felt the tightly stretched string of tension loosen.
After finishing paperwork, His Highness held meetings, adjusted taxes and complaints from vassal states, then even gave instructions on improving the knights’ training. Since His Majesty had become unable to move about easily, work had gradually increased, and now it was fair to say His Highness handled almost all national affairs, so his schedule was always tight. Only after the sun set and quite some time passed did rest time arrive.
The bedroom we returned to was not the Crown Prince’s palace but that place where I had stayed while injured. The room His Highness had used in his childhood was becoming somewhat familiar after using it several times.
“Sir Aila should also go wash up.”
There hadn’t been a single moment today that wasn’t distressing, but this was the most distressing. The first day we used the same bed, His Highness hadn’t been in his right mind, and after that, mainly I hadn’t been in my right mind.
Thinking that both of us would have to lie in the same bed with clear consciousness made my heart beat anew. That was too gentle to call fear of my true feelings being discovered, and had a musty smell to call it affection.
“Do you want me to wash you?”
When I froze and didn’t follow the order, His Highness asked playfully. It had been so long since I’d seen him smile like a boy that I stared blankly for a moment. If Sir Ken hadn’t coughed lowly from the side, I wouldn’t have been able to answer.
“No! I’ll go wash up right away.”
“Alright. There’s a bathroom in the room, so wash there.”
Before I could say no, that I’d just go to the knights’ building and back, His Highness left his seat. The attendants, perhaps worried I’d be more sluggish, subtly urged me while guiding me to the bathroom.
‘What on earth is this…’
Lost in thought while washing, more time passed than expected. Perhaps I had been doing that more because the water gave me the illusion my mind was returning a bit.
“Lord Aila, His Highness is waiting.”
If I hadn’t heard the attendant’s urging voice from outside the bathroom, I would have dawdled even longer.
“I’ll prepare quickly.”
I couldn’t possibly get into the same bed as His Highness with a dirty body, so I thoroughly washed here and there. Only after the attendant urged me once more did I come out, and His Highness had already put on his nightclothes and gotten into bed.
‘I should have come out quickly and lain down first.’
Seeing His Highness beckoning with his hand while leaving my spot empty made heat rise to my face. Perhaps because the place and person were familiar, memories from the heat cycle that I thought I’d almost forgotten came to mind anew.
‘How dare I have such memories with His Highness before me…’
Not only was the past when I behaved shamelessly embarrassing, but I was afraid His Highness would discover I was having such thoughts.
‘That was like artificial respiration. Don’t recall it unnecessarily.’
Scolding myself, I moved slowly to the bed. Perhaps finding me frustrating, His Highness reached out his hand and pulled me in.
“Water is dripping from your hair.”
“I’m, I’m sorry. I came out in a hurry… I’ll go dry it again.”
“Is that necessary?”
When His Highness gave a look, one quick-witted attendant brought a towel.
“Your, Your Highness?”
“Sit still.”
His Highness, who made a deliberately strict yet affectionate voice like a parent giving instructions, placed the towel on my head. Soon I felt the touch of thick, large fingers through the towel. His hand moved gently as if to dry my hair personally. The sight of my hair moving this way and that accordingly was somehow surreal.
“There’s no need for you to do such troublesome work.”
Drying hair—it was no different from menial work. But no matter how much I pleaded, His Highness’s hand wouldn’t leave.
“Your hair is soft. Do you normally apply oil?”
“No.”
The original Aila might have put effort into such things, but I didn’t. His Highness laughed lowly as if hearing a very interesting story.
“Then it must be naturally this soft.”
I closed my eyes tightly even knowing it was disrespectful. It felt like what His Highness was shaking was my heart, not my hair. I felt dizzy as if motion sick. The only consolation was that tomorrow I could be apart from His Highness.
* * *
But this time too, what I wanted didn’t come to pass. The variable this time was also His Highness. I had planned to take the carriage sent from the family. Although I was uneasy that His Highness, who should normally be working, was following along, I thought it was just to see me off.
“Not that way.”
However, His Highness grabbed my arm as I was heading toward where noble family carriages were stationed and gently changed my direction.
“But…”
“Since attendance was decided hastily, the family couldn’t send a carriage for you. Take an imperial carriage.”
“A carriage lent to nobles would be sufficient.”
I had no intention whatsoever of taking a carriage that only precious guests of the imperial family rode. More honestly, since I just needed to go alone anyway, a fast horse would do instead of a cumbersome carriage.
“I can’t ride a carriage lent to nobles.”
“Pardon?”
