Tae Shinwoo had been feeling exceptionally good lately. To be precise, he’d felt this way all year, but never quite as much as recently. Of course it was natural—Seo Eunho had become completely his.
Seo Eunho had looked straight at him and said he liked him. That moment that made him grin helplessly just thinking about it—Tae Shinwoo would never forget it. Tae Shinwoo touched his upturned lips and rubbed his face once. His foolishly spreading smile knew no bounds. He had never once laughed so senselessly like this at the main house of all places. There was no way laughter would emerge in such a bleak space.
Should he just do the tutoring at that house? Was there really a need to come all the way to the main house? Thinking about it, there was no reason for him to come and go here. His grandfather Tae Gwanghyun wouldn’t like it, but he wouldn’t stop him either.
However, concentrating at the house where Seo Eunho was would be nearly impossible. It was obvious he’d just be staring at Seo Eunho’s face. In fact, there was no real need to even do tutoring. It would be nice if his grades came out well, but it wasn’t like there was a compelling reason he absolutely had to study well.
He could make Tae Gwanghyun happy, though. That had been the purpose at first. Even in middle school, his grandfather’s words had been close to law, so he’d felt pressured to do as he wanted.
But as time passed and he grew older, those thoughts faded too. It was true that Tae Gwanghyun had seized the company through physical force. No matter how much he studied and sat in that position, the stigma of being a gangster’s kid wouldn’t disappear.
If he didn’t want to hear that kind of talk, he just had to protect Taesung Group well. Tae Gwanghyun was greedy, and once he had something, he didn’t know how to let it go. The reality was that while he was chairman of a company in the top 5 of the business world in front, he was still doing gangster work behind the scenes to increase his wealth.
Still, he couldn’t help it since Seo Eunho was worried. Tae Shinwoo smiled slightly as he thought of Seo Eunho’s face. Since Seo Eunho was so needlessly worrying about his grades, he couldn’t just give up completely. It was obvious that if his ranking dropped even one place, Seo Eunho would consider it his own fault, so Tae Shinwoo had no choice but to put in his own effort.
But even if studying was unavoidable—there was still no need to do it at the main house, right? How about receiving tutoring at a nearby cafe instead of at home?
It was quite a plausible idea. That way the travel time would be reduced, and—
“Is your tutoring finished?”
—situations like this where he ran into Tae Gwanghyun and got held up would disappear too.
“……”
Tae Shinwoo swallowed the sigh that rose automatically. He should have left before he appeared, but thinking that Tae Gwanghyun’s work generally ended late, he’d lingered. Why did he come back so early today of all days? He firmly suppressed his sigh, but there was no way to hide his expression that twisted on its own.
“You came back early.”
It felt like he’d been running into him particularly often lately. What wind had suddenly blown?
Tae Shinwoo didn’t particularly like Tae Gwanghyun. It wasn’t that he greatly disliked him either, but if possible, it belonged to the category of better not to face him.
Fortunately, Tae Shinwoo had lived without running into him often. It was because he was very busy. He was an exceptionally greedy person. Tae Gwanghyun was someone who lived buried in work every day in order to make Taesung Group his own and be properly recognized as chairman. Well, aside from Taesung Group work, he’d have more than enough to do.
But had he given up some of his greed lately? Why was he at home before evening had even arrived? Tae Shinwoo suppressed the discomfort that slowly raised its head. Showing it would only lead to a bad outcome. Unnecessarily provoking his anger would only result in Tae Shinwoo himself being at a loss.
Tae Shinwoo knew Tae Gwanghyun well. He had no choice but to, because he and himself were very much alike. They seemed sharp as a knife about things that weren’t profitable, but their personalities of rushing in without calculating ahead or behind once they wanted something were particularly similar.
Because of that temperament, Tae Shinwoo had grown up without parents, but he felt no resentment. Unfortunately, it was because what Tae Shinwoo understood wasn’t his parents but his grandfather.
“I came in early because I’m not feeling well.”
Tae Shinwoo nodded his head. He thought the man looked fine, but it wasn’t something he needed to voice.
“Yes, then please rest.”
After bowing politely, Tae Shinwoo turned around blankly. Even though he hadn’t particularly liked Tae Gwanghyun, it hadn’t been to this extent before, but lately facing him had become even more uncomfortable.
Perhaps it was because of Seo Eunho. The thought that Tae Gwanghyun might make even Seo Eunho leave, just like his parents who had left this house long ago. So even though nothing had happened yet, it seemed he was harboring hostility.
It was a ridiculous thought. Seo Eunho leaving him would never happen. Unless Tae Gwanghyun reached out his hand to get rid of him. But that wouldn’t happen either. At least if he knew his grandson well, if he could gauge how Tae Shinwoo would act when such a thing happened, he wouldn’t commit such an act with such an obvious outcome.
Tae Shinwoo was different from his parents. Unlike them who couldn’t persuade Tae Gwanghyun and ran away abandoning their child, Tae Shinwoo could crush Tae Gwanghyun. Even if not right now, someday, as much as he wanted with the very power Tae Gwanghyun had handed over himself. Tae Gwanghyun would know that better. Because Tae Gwanghyun would know that he resembled him greatly.
“Your mother.”
Tae Shinwoo’s steps heading straight out of the house stopped abruptly. It was because of what Tae Gwanghyun had brought up. His face twisted at the unexpected topic, and when he turned his head, Tae Gwanghyun was looking at him with a serious face.
“I found her.”
That was what Tae Gwanghyun said as soon as their eyes met. He was just looking at Tae Shinwoo with an impassive face. As if waiting to see what kind of reaction he would show.
But Tae Shinwoo showed no reaction. He’d missed her when he was young, but not now. From some point on, she’d become faint even in his memories. Far from being happy, he felt fury rising at the words that he’d found her. Because from some point on, the emotion that filled the place of longing for his mother was a sense of betrayal.
“So what?”
“Don’t you want to see her?”
“Not particularly.”
“She’s nearby.”
So what was he supposed to do about it?
Tae Shinwoo firmly shook his head. Whether she was nearby or far away, he didn’t want to see her. Whatever they were doing, living well or poorly, none of it was Tae Shinwoo’s concern. He didn’t want it to be his concern.
There had been a time when he’d babbled to Seo Eunho that he was curious if they were living well. But that had been words for Seo Eunho’s sake. He’d just felt like he should say that. Thanks to that, hadn’t he heard Seo Eunho’s story about how he’d lived? To Tae Shinwoo, stories about his parents were nothing more than bait to open up the other person’s heart. They were people already distant from his interest. If asked whether any feelings toward them remained, Tae Shinwoo would say there was only a sense of betrayal.
“It’s none of my business.”
“Still, she’s your mother.”
“I wonder about that. Should I call someone who abandoned her young son and left a mother?”
“……”
“In that sense, I don’t have a father either. Are they hovering around? Did you discover that? If that’s the case, tell them to fuck off far away. Because if I see them, I don’t know what I might do.”
There was no change in Tae Shinwoo’s expression. But every word he spat out was sincere. If he hadn’t noticed them, that would be one thing. If he happened to meet them even by chance, he wouldn’t stay still.
If they were living well, he’d destroy them, and if they were living poorly, he’d push them even further into the muck. He still thought it would be getting off easy. They were people who had left him alone in this space that they too had found hard to endure.
Not searching for them was Tae Shinwoo’s consideration. Since searching for them laboriously would obviously only produce a desire for revenge. There was no need for opportunities for people who had betrayed him.
“Or did you search for them, Grandfather? Really, you’re exerting effort on useless things. Do you not have work these days?”
Having deliberately sneered as much as possible, Tae Shinwoo turned sharply away from Tae Gwanghyun. His good mood had plummeted to the floor due to pointless thoughts. Tae Shinwoo closed both eyes and thought of Seo Eunho’s face. He desperately wanted to see Seo Eunho, who would be lazing around on his bed at home.
He wished vacation would come quickly. Then he could reduce the number of tutoring sessions a bit more and laze around together with Seo Eunho. Should he make the excuse that it was too cold to go out? No, that wouldn’t work at all. Seo Eunho was particularly quick-witted about those kinds of things. He’d definitely just hear that he was talking bullshit when he knew perfectly well that the car was always on standby.
Then what if he said the car broke down? What if he just said it got in an accident and was scrapped? Would that leave him speechless and just rolling his eyes?
Anyway, just thinking about it was cute. He probably wouldn’t believe it, but he’d worry in case it was really true.
“Hurry and go.”
Having come out of the house thinking about Seo Eunho for a while and gotten into the car, Tae Shinwoo immediately commanded. The driver started the car without a word. Closing both eyes and burying himself in the back seat, only now did a grin emerge.
For some reason, his hands felt itchy. He felt like he wanted to grab onto something. Ah, not something—Seo Eunho. He wanted to grab Seo Eunho and pull him into an embrace. He wanted to hold hands and intertwine their fingers, or if not that, lie down next to him and sleep.
‘Oh, sorry.’
As Tae Shinwoo firmly clasped his own hands together instead of Seo Eunho’s hands and closed both eyes, a scene from not so long ago suddenly came to mind. The beginning of their first year of high school, barely a year ago in terms of years, but Seo Eunho who had looked much younger than now was before his eyes. That moment that Seo Eunho surely didn’t remember.
‘I couldn’t sleep well. I didn’t see you.’
Seo Eunho who had bumped shoulders and mumbled in a voice half-asleep. When his half-closed eyes turned toward him, and when he blinked slowly.
‘Ah, the freshman representative.’
‘……’
‘……Cool.’
In that moment when he’d muttered to himself in a flat tone that was hard to consider a compliment and passed by him. Tae Shinwoo’s gaze had fixed on Seo Eunho and he was swept up in an unknown emotion.
Those shuffling steps. Those shoulders that seemed heavily burdened bothered him. Even though he kept watching, that firm back that never once turned around didn’t fade as if it had been imprinted.
He hadn’t particularly wanted to pretend to be a model student. Everyone arbitrarily babbled that the situation of him studying and trying to gain moderate favor from people was for the company, but it was all wrong.
The reason was trivial. So trivial that even the person himself surely wouldn’t believe it. That’s why it was such a small reason that he’d decided to just keep it to himself rather than bring it up.
Tae Shinwoo wanted to catch the eye of Seo Eunho again, who had muttered with an utterly exhausted face as if he didn’t know what he was saying.
That was just it.
