Standing in front of the mirror with trembling legs barely supporting him, his appearance was utterly disheveled. The traces Tae Shinwoo had left all over his body were so violent that a hollow laugh escaped him.
“……”
Seo Eunho ran his hand over his nape, which bore unmistakable bite marks for anyone to see. The intent to show everyone that he was Tae Shinwoo’s possession was glaringly excessive.
How am I supposed to hide this?
His face naturally scrunched up at the wounds that throbbed as if they were still being bitten.
“It’s not like he’s some kind of animal……”
Muttering irritably, he ran his hands through his hair for no reason. He just wanted to lie down, but he didn’t want to stay in this space any longer.
Seo Eunho roughly washed his body and came out of the bathroom. Rain was pouring heavily outside the window. At least that was fortunate. Thanks to that, he’d received a message saying today’s work was canceled.
Walking alone was already overwhelming, so there was no way he’d have the energy left to work. If it hadn’t been canceled, he would have had to say he couldn’t go out again today. There’s a limit to how many times they’ll let it slide. This time, he really would have been fired.
“……”
Would it even matter if he got fired?
When he actually came out of the bathroom and looked at the table he’d ignored earlier, such a ridiculous thought occurred to him. But it wasn’t an unreasonable thought. He might really not need to work anymore.
On the table, several fifty-thousand won bills were scattered messily, as if someone had tossed them there. Tae Shinwoo had left them. As if paying off his debt wasn’t enough, he was even giving him spending money.
Last night’s intercourse had been more persistent and prolonged than usual, leaving his mind hazy. Contrary to his thoughts that he absolutely wouldn’t be swayed by Tae Shinwoo, that he just needed to take advantage of the benefits, Seo Eunho had wanted to surrender his entire body to his hands. Forgetting the humiliation he’d given him, he’d been desperate to be impaled on his cock and move his hips to his heart’s content, kiss him and mix their saliva, embrace Tae Shinwoo’s body with his whole being.
His threadbare reason barely held on, and Seo Eunho had been on the verge of falling into the temptation Tae Shinwoo offered.
‘Fuck…, do it, moderately.’
So he’d pushed Tae Shinwoo away. Even knowing he should just let him do as he pleased, he’d used all his strength to refuse the sex.
‘Get your hands off me.’
Of course, Tae Shinwoo didn’t listen to him. He simply grabbed the hands pushing him away and held them in place, continuing his violent hip thrusts.
The thick glans crushed his inner walls, trying to steal away his reason. Seo Eunho shook his head forcefully and twisted his body again. Trying somehow to escape from Tae Shinwoo’s grasp.
‘I have to, work. Fuck…, unless you’re going to, hngh, compensate me…!’
Desperately clinging to his half-gone sanity, Seo Eunho spat out those words.
‘Ah.’
At those words, Tae Shinwoo suddenly stopped his hip movements. His whole body contracted at the suddenly halted act. As if he felt regret. Seo Eunho shook his head to deny that sensation.
He’d truly wanted to stop the act. This was just a physiological response. That’s what he intended to excuse it as.
‘Compensation.’
But what Tae Shinwoo latched onto was something from an entirely different context. Seo Eunho looked at Tae Shinwoo with a distorted face at the word he deliberately chewed over. The twisted corner of his mouth, as if quite interested, felt unsettling.
‘Yeah, let’s do that.’
At that moment, words Seo Eunho didn’t particularly want flowed from Tae Shinwoo’s mouth. The words continued without giving Seo Eunho any chance to respond.
‘I’ll give you money, so stay holed up. Don’t go out anywhere.’
It was the same afterward too. With his face frozen cold as if he’d never smiled, Seo Eunho’s lips simply wouldn’t move.
So he couldn’t say anything. He quickly forgot about it too, as violent sex that made it impossible to regain his senses continued.
If it weren’t for the money on the table right now, Seo Eunho might have forgotten that moment’s conversation altogether.
“Ha……”
A short laugh escaped. As he picked up the bills one by one, the amount was substantial. Seo Eunho grasped it in his hand without much hesitation.
There was no reason to maintain his pride. There was no reason to refuse when he was offering money. The way things were going, there was a high possibility he wouldn’t be able to work before long, so it was better to accept it. It was a relationship for filling each other’s profits anyway. Tae Shinwoo to satisfy his obsession and possessiveness. And Seo Eunho to gain financial benefits.
***
After leaving the hotel, Seo Eunho stopped by a convenience store first. Then, amid the gazes directed at him for openly displaying the bite marks Tae Shinwoo had left on his nape last night, he roughly stuck pain relief patches on his nape.
As long as it wasn’t his workplace or home, it didn’t matter who saw, so his attitude remained indifferent throughout. As soon as he finished sticking on all the patches, Seo Eunho left the convenience store and hid in a building to avoid the rain.
It was nice to be able to skip work, but it was annoying that he had to walk through the pouring rain again. Getting on a bus looking like a drowned rat would be quite inconsiderate too.
“……”
Seo Eunho wiggled his hand. It’s not even that much money. The back pocket of his pants where he’d put the money felt heavy.
Yeah, well. Money I earned through such suffering, I can spend some of it.
A snicker escaped. It wasn’t a laugh from finding the situation amusing. Seo Eunho waved his hand to catch a passing taxi. The taxi stopped abruptly, and Seo Eunho quickly jumped in.
“……Here?”
Seo Eunho gave his home address, and as soon as the taxi driver heard the address, he tilted his head and entered the address into the navigation. Then, as soon as he checked the destination, his face crumpled.
Well, of course, Seo Eunho’s home was in quite a remote location. Moreover, they’d have to go up for quite a while as if climbing a mountain, then come back down with an empty car.
Can’t exactly tell him to get out.
Though he hadn’t said it out loud, Seo Eunho gauged the driver’s thoughts from the look in his eyes visible in the rearview mirror. He was probably right. Even he would find it bothersome to go there.
“I’ll pay for the return trip too, so please just take me.”
The back pocket of his pants still felt heavy. It felt like it contained stones rather than money.
The taxi driver had nothing more to say at Seo Eunho’s words. The car soon departed, moving through the streaks of rain. Seo Eunho quietly watched the scenery outside the car window whizzing by. Once again, a laugh unconsciously escaped.
Normally, no matter how bad his condition was, he would have somehow taken the bus. Even if it was inconsiderate, he would have pretended not to know, ignoring everyone’s gazes while completely soaked.
Money is truly amazing. It can make a person comfortable, and it can also make them utterly miserable. That duality always made Seo Eunho feel shabby.
Seo Eunho squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t know what emotion he was feeling. Anger was rising, but it didn’t seem like something to be angry about. Rather, he seemed to be happy, and it also seemed like he might cry because it was too comfortable.
Had he ever even thought there would come a day when he could afford such luxury? Just taking a taxi once brought up all sorts of thoughts.
But it was an important matter to Seo Eunho. From childhood until now, he’d always lived crushed by money.
In the end, he had no reason to be angry. What was there to be angry about? Wasn’t he making money without suffering?
‘It’s easy if you give up.’
It was a fact he already knew. If you give up, everything becomes easier. Tae Shinwoo had never been his anyway. It didn’t matter how he appeared in his eyes either.
He’d been hurt because he didn’t know that. If only his 12-year-ago self had known this fact, if only he’d thought that since Tae Shinwoo would never be his anyway, he just needed to enjoy that moment.
If only he’d taken to heart a bit more what that woman had said, that since there wasn’t much time left anyway, he should enjoy himself now to his heart’s content……
“Haha……”
Laughter flowed out as if he’d lost his mind. The taxi driver’s gaze wasn’t important to Seo Eunho at all. Seo Eunho quickly hardened his face and shook his head.
Right, as long as he didn’t have pointless expectations. If he made good use of the glistening desire he had for him, he could become comfortable now. Things would improve a bit more than this.
In the end, the most important thing in Seo Eunho’s life was money. What did some musty first love matter?
A whole 12 years.
Seo Eunho had occasionally thought of Tae Shinwoo, but he hadn’t struggled with longing or been desperate to see him. He’d just thought of him sometimes. That was the extent of the feelings he had.
He just…… like Tae Shinwoo had done before, Seo Eunho should use Tae Shinwoo. For the comfortable life he would lead from now on.
