His phone had been quiet for quite a while. By now, his father or that woman should have contacted him to meet for a meal, but there was no news at all.
Of course, since he wasn’t waiting for their contact, Seo Eunho was rather comfortable. The days that had been clear for a while were covered in fine dust for a time, then soon became weather that made the tip of his nose tingle.
“Is it doable?”
“Don’t talk to me.”
“Won’t even let me talk to you.”
If you asked whether there had been any progress with Tae Shinwoo during this time, regrettably, there hadn’t. Seo Eunho was cowardly and Tae Shinwoo had more patience than expected. The line drawn between the two of them was gradually fading compared to before, but hadn’t completely disappeared.
“I’m bored.”
“The exams aren’t far off.”
“Hearing that from you feels really awkward.”
“…Be quiet.”
Seo Eunho glanced at Tae Shinwoo who kept interrupting his attention, then with his head deeply bowed, pretended to concentrate on the workbook in front of him. There was no way Seo Eunho, who until now hadn’t properly looked at even textbooks let alone workbooks, could concentrate.
But thinking he had to do at least this, Seo Eunho drew lines under sentences without knowing whether they were important or not.
These days, Seo Eunho was making Tae Shinwoo study. He knew better than anyone that it was a ridiculous thing to say. It just happened this way because anxiety suddenly surged up one day.
He was still in a situation where he couldn’t go to university. So studying was quite useless. It might be better to spend this time finding work he could do right after graduating high school.
Of course, since there was still a year’s time, there was no need to rush. But Tae Shinwoo’s situation was different from his own.
He’d heard that Tae Shinwoo’s grades were always good and he’d never once fallen from first place. But soon he’d become a high school senior and would have to study for the college entrance exam in earnest. He couldn’t just keep playing with him forever.
The time Tae Shinwoo returned home was getting later day by day. The occasions when he just fell asleep and they headed to school together also increased. And during all that time, Tae Shinwoo had never studied once.
At this rate his grades should drop significantly, but Tae Shinwoo’s grades wouldn’t fall. He couldn’t not study at all and have that happen. Then the only conclusion was that Tae Shinwoo was going home and studying without sleeping properly. In the end, it meant he was interfering with Tae Shinwoo’s study time.
If he hadn’t realized it, that would be one thing. But once he’d become aware, something should change.
So the situation became like this. Seo Eunho said he’d study, something he’d never done in his life, and Tae Shinwoo said okay with a strange expression. It felt like his true feelings had been seen through…
So what if he knows.
The pressure to hide everything tightly was gradually fading. Did he really need to hide that he was worried about the guy’s situation?
The line he hadn’t had the courage to cross was erasing itself. Seo Eunho didn’t try to draw the line again. Because he was starting to believe that this much was okay, that his existence wouldn’t cause Tae Shinwoo that much harm.
His school life had a huge influence on thinking this way. These days, Seo Eunho attended school very peacefully. No matter how much he asked, he wouldn’t answer so he didn’t know what or how he did it, but anyway, it was still certain that Tae Shinwoo had pulled some strings.
Rather than simply being surprised by that, he was first relieved thinking he couldn’t dare drag Tae Shinwoo down. Even if something happened, Tae Shinwoo wouldn’t have any problems. Wasn’t that enough?
Little by little, his fearful heart also disappeared. So if he made up his mind, he could cross the line anytime.
Making up that mind was just damn difficult.
“You’re really studying.”
What was quite a serious concern in his own way, looking down at the workbook with a hardened expression, seemed to Tae Shinwoo like studying, as grumbling sounds were heard.
“Yeah. I’m studying.”
Seo Eunho uttered the lie without the slightest disturbance. Let’s think about that problem later for now. What he needed to do now was secure Tae Shinwoo’s study time.
If he told him to study while playing around, he definitely wouldn’t do it, so he himself had to at least pretend to study while looking at a workbook.
“……”
But his concentration on something he’d never done in his life didn’t last long. He’d bought the workbook Tae Shinwoo recommended, but he didn’t even know if this was easy or difficult.
No matter how many times he read the theory and looked at the problems, it was the same. He even thought whether this theory was related to the problems, or if there was something wrong with the book.
Of course, there was nothing wrong with the book. The problem was just his own head that had never studied once since childhood.
“……”
Seo Eunho quickly lost interest. Even when he tried to forcibly squeeze out concentration, he’d immediately have other thoughts. Pretending it wasn’t so, he secretly raised his gaze. Fortunately, unlike him, Tae Shinwoo was already concentrating on his workbook.
The protruding wrist bone beneath the slightly rolled-up dark green knit moved together following the slowly moving pen. Seo Eunho concentrated on it as if entranced, then raised his gaze. Lowered black eyelashes. Jet-black hair just as dark. The lips firmly pressed shut were drawing a moderate curve.
Seo Eunho propped his chin and moved the hand holding his pen. In the space where answers to problems should be written, a strange form of Tae Shinwoo was being drawn without him realizing it.
“…Excuse me, um……”
How much time had passed like that? The movement of his hand that had been drawing in a trance suddenly stopped. It was because someone had spoken to him.
Before confirming who she was, Seo Eunho first covered the drawing that had somehow been drawn quite plausibly. Though it couldn’t really be called well-drawn, the hair style, outfit, and posture made it clearly Tae Shinwoo sitting in front of him to anyone who looked.
“May I ask what school you attend?”
Only after that did he raise his head to see a woman with a cute impression who seemed to be a college student. Behind her was another person standing awkwardly. Since they seemed very embarrassed, Seo Eunho quickly caught on to what purpose they’d approached with.
“School?”
Tae Shinwoo probably did too.
With a well-crafted decent smile, Tae Shinwoo asked. Seo Eunho just stared blankly at Tae Shinwoo. If there was an answer, the guy would give it, so he thought there was no need for him to be looking at them.
No, more than that, even if it was a fake smile, he didn’t like showing it toward someone interested in him, and being jealous of that, he glared without realizing it. He himself thought he was just looking though.
“Um……”
Tae Shinwoo looked at Seo Eunho with a troubled frown. At the suddenly met gaze, Seo Eunho flinched but didn’t particularly avoid it. He just relaxed his face a bit.
It seemed like he’d been looking too intently.
It wasn’t something to think about after it had already been seen by Tae Shinwoo.
“…Ah, are you by any chance high school students?”
Fortunately, Tae Shinwoo’s gaze didn’t stay on him for long. A somewhat flustered voice popped out from the woman’s mouth. She’d probably realized after seeing the workbooks Tae Shinwoo and he were solving.
“Yes.”
Tae Shinwoo answered kindly and fluttered his workbook. On the cover, the words “College Entrance Exam Special Lecture” were written largely.
“Ah, I see.”
Disappointed looks bloomed on the two people’s faces. Seo Eunho looked at them and slowly tried to close his workbook. It seemed it would look really strange to keep covering it with his palm.
“We thought you were college students like us. Well, if two people stick together like this, there’s no way there wouldn’t be rumors.”
“What grade are you in? Third year?”
“No, second year.”
“I see. You’re young……”
The sound of giggling as their tension relaxed wasn’t unpleasant to hear. Maybe because it wasn’t an immediately important matter. Seo Eunho pulled his workbook with force. But just as he was about to close it, Tae Shinwoo’s hand approached and pressed down firmly, so the workbook wouldn’t budge at all.
“Study hard and come to Hankuk University. Got it?”
Perhaps seeing them wrestle with the workbook, the laughter grew thicker. Seo Eunho pulled the workbook until his hand turned white, but Tae Shinwoo’s strength was beyond imagination. He had monstrous strength.
“Thank you.”
That he even greeted them in the midst of all this was chilling.
“Birds of a feather flock together.”
“What a shame. If you were just third years, we could have tried harder……”
“What are you saying?”
Soon the women turned around sharply and moved away. Even during that, the laughter didn’t cease. In this situation, only Seo Eunho was breaking out in a cold sweat.
“Let go!”
Seo Eunho demanded in an irritated voice. But now Tae Shinwoo was pulling the workbook toward himself. Seo Eunho desperately tried to protect it, but overcoming Tae Shinwoo’s strength was completely impossible.
“Ah…!”
“Thanks.”
In the end, Tae Shinwoo who’d snatched the workbook away found the page Seo Eunho had kept open as if he’d already known. Then he tore his doodle from the workbook without any hesitation.
“Why are you ripping the book?”
By that point, Seo Eunho had completely given up. Thinking he’d already been caught, he didn’t even have the will to hide it. Thanks to that, Tae Shinwoo leisurely shoved the torn-out doodle into his bag.
“You weren’t looking at it at all.”
At what he said while doing that, Seo Eunho let out a long sigh. Thinking he knew everything all along, it was embarrassing, and in the midst of it, it was also shameful that he was putting his doodle in his bag as if it were precious.
“Ah!”
Seo Eunho kicked Tae Shinwoo’s shin from under the table for no reason. A fairly loud sound came from Tae Shinwoo’s mouth, but his expression was actually relaxed. Seo Eunho turned his head sharply. His face was getting hot as if it were turning red.
“Always violence.”
What he said in a tone not at all displeased was funny. Seo Eunho, who’d been rubbing his face, laughed quietly.
Was it really okay?
The thought he’d been having since earlier surged up again. Seo Eunho actually wanted to ask Tae Shinwoo outright.
Whether he was really okay. Whether it was really okay to erase or jump over the drawn line.
In truth, the one who cared about people’s gazes and would suffer great damage if this decision was wrong was him. Had he really thought about it all?
Was it okay for him to pretend not to know all of that?
“Is it okay to pretend not to know whatever people say?”
Skipping over all those questions, Seo Eunho asked just one thing. At the out-of-the-blue question, Tae Shinwoo’s eyebrows moved as if puzzled, then he nodded.
“You’ve always lived like that, haven’t you?”
The answer he calmly uttered was something he hadn’t thought of at all.
“Keep doing it like that. Why not?”
No answer came out. Tae Shinwoo didn’t urge an answer.
Seo Eunho had asked in a roundabout way and Tae Shinwoo had answered straight.
To pretend not to know everything and now cross the line. That he just had to do what he’d been doing all along.
