Seo Eunho and Tae Shinwoo trudged down the alley. It was fortunate there was only one road to get to his house. Otherwise, they might have missed each other.
“You didn’t even contact me. You should have at least contacted me in advance.”
“……”
“Or just wait downstairs.”
“……”
“But how did you know where my house was?”
Throughout the walk down, Seo Eunho chattered away at Tae Shinwoo. In truth, he wasn’t even conscious that he was doing so.
“Are you happy I came?”
At least not until Tae Shinwoo suddenly blurted out something strange without answering any of his questions.
“What are you talking about, all of a sudden?”
“You seem excited.”
I seem excited? Me?
Seo Eunho hesitated and chewed over Tae Shinwoo’s words. He wanted to dismiss it as complete bullshit, but regrettably, he had been talking more than usual.
“…Well.”
He did seem to be excited. Seo Eunho admitted it plainly, but only to himself. He’d been thinking he wanted to hurry home to see Tae Shinwoo, and when he appeared at just the right time, how could he not be excited?
“You’re not denying it.”
Seo Eunho didn’t give any answer. Instead, he walked a bit faster. The long downhill road was now nearing its end. Soon the supermarket appeared, and if they walked just a bit more from there, they could catch a bus.
Tae Shinwoo would probably want to take a taxi though. Thanks to that, they could go back more comfortably. Seo Eunho deliberately thought meaningless thoughts and struggled to calm his face that was getting hot for no reason.
“Are you happy I came?”
Of course, there was no way Tae Shinwoo, who was expert-level at latching onto something once he caught it, would just let it go. Though he’d clearly walked faster, Seo Eunho glanced at Tae Shinwoo who was calmly positioned beside him and turned his head sharply.
“Let’s get ice cream before we go.”
And then it was a different subject. Tae Shinwoo laughed absurdly but didn’t bother bringing it up further.
“Anyone here?”
“…Looks like they stepped out.”
The two who’d taken out ice cream from the freezer in front of the supermarket lingered by the doorway. It was because the store owner who should have rung them up was nowhere to be seen.
Seo Eunho, who’d already rubbed it against his cheek as soon as he took it out, wrinkled his brow as if troubled.
“Let’s just eat while we wait.”
Tapping Seo Eunho’s shoulder, Tae Shinwoo gestured with his chin at the wooden bench situated in front of the store.
Seo Eunho nodded and asked as if surprised.
“You’ll eat sitting on the street too?”
“…What can’t I eat?”
“…That’s true too.”
It was a silly thing to say. But it wasn’t entirely out of the blue either. That day when he first met Tae Shinwoo on the weekend. The guy hadn’t wanted to go into the food cart, and was reluctant to eat.
Wouldn’t it make sense to think he’d be reluctant to eat food on the street? Since Tae Shinwoo seemed very delicately raised.
“Nice weather.”
Well, never mind then.
Seo Eunho shrugged and settled on the bench first. Sometimes when work was too exhausting and climbing the stairs felt impossibly daunting, Seo Eunho would occasionally sit here and pass the time. It was generally right before people started their activities, so it was quiet as if everyone were dead.
“Isn’t it about time to wear long sleeves?”
But today was different. There were the voices of people passing by occasionally and the sound of cars in the distance, and there was warm sunlight. Sitting beneath it, beside Seo Eunho, was Tae Shinwoo worrying about his outfit.
Seo Eunho grinned as he bit into his ice cream. The ticklish feeling wouldn’t go away. Was it really this good?
Of course it’s good. It has to be good. How could I not like it?
“It’s still hot.”
Seo Eunho answered with a giggle. Tae Shinwoo, who was likewise biting into his ice cream, shook his head as if there was no helping it.
Giving up was impossible. He wanted to stay by Tae Shinwoo’s side for as long as possible. Not hoping for eternity was just a bit of rationality—in truth, he wanted to stick by Tae Shinwoo’s side forever.
Even if it was greed, since he was only thinking it to himself anyway, was it a problem?
He was being unusually lenient with himself today. It seemed like that would be okay.
“Hey.”
Seo Eunho, who’d been looking up at the clear sky, suddenly turned his head. Perhaps he’d been watching him the whole time, their gazes met immediately.
“What are you going to do later?”
The future Seo Eunho dreamed of wasn’t much. Just earning his own money living somewhere decent. He didn’t want to earn a lot of money, just enough not to be struggling.
His vision went exactly that far. He also felt like if he broadened his vision any further, he’d surely end up like his father. Since his father was the only adult he’d seen up close.
So he suddenly became curious. What kind of future was Tae Shinwoo, who’d lived in a much better world than him, dreaming of? How amazing would his dreams be? Would it be a dream that might have a place for him in his future?
Seo Eunho didn’t bother to pull back the greed that was quietly raising its head. Today, he just didn’t want to forcibly stomp down feelings he wouldn’t even express.
“Who knows.”
Tae Shinwoo seemed puzzled by the sudden question. But as if he was going to answer fairly seriously, a brief contemplation followed.
“I’ll probably just do thug stuff.”
Of course, Seo Eunho had been mistaken.
In that split second, whether mischief had struck, a truly absurd answer came back. Seo Eunho let out a hollow laugh before crumpling his face.
“Thug stuff?”
“Yeah. Thug.”
But Tae Shinwoo nodded with a serious face. As if it were sincere.
“What kind of bullshit is that?”
“It’s real though. Does it sound like bullshit?”
When the other was asking seriously, there was a limit to joking around. Seo Eunho clicked his tongue and turned his head away. He might not have thought about it much. It’s not like you have to decide your future from now.
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“Would you believe it if you were me?”
“Yeah. Believe me.”
The pointless conversation continued. Seo Eunho just kept his mouth shut tight and focused on eating his ice cream.
Right, not knowing was better. Because if he really knew the future Tae Shinwoo wanted and felt too much distance, his heart would be more uncomfortable.
Both Tae Shinwoo and himself were students now, and at least outwardly they seemed equal during this time, so there was no need to worry about the future. At least they were close now. They were friends who could see each other every day without it being strange. Being satisfied with that was enough.
“Looking at you, you really don’t trust me well.”
“What are you saying.”
Seo Eunho, who’d decided not to have any more serious conversations, laughed and shot back. But when he actually faced Tae Shinwoo’s expression which was far too fierce, he couldn’t help but be at a loss for words for a moment.
“I told you not to hold back.”
Seo Eunho’s eyebrows twitched at the sudden change in expression.
“You should have attacked them trusting in my backing.”
But Seo Eunho soon understood what he was talking about. Tae Shinwoo had been not at that wall, but in front of his house. And he must have heard everything his father said.
He felt awkward and embarrassed for no reason. Even though he’d talked about his father with his own mouth before so it wasn’t like he was hiding it, shame washed over him.
“Like I said, I have connections and lots of money, so even if I rip someone’s mouth open, it’s not a problem.”
But it wasn’t an emotion to hold onto for long. Seo Eunho wrinkled his brow, gasping at the harsh words that came from Tae Shinwoo’s mouth. Even as a joke it was fierce, but his expression seemed sincere which made it even more bewildering.
“Ha.”
Still, the bewilderment didn’t last long. Because what was that even—laughter slipped out as if he’d heard some great encouragement.
Seo Eunho rubbed his face and laughed for a while. The heat wouldn’t leave his reddened face. As expected, it was still too hot to wear long sleeves. He needed that excuse.
“…Thug stuff really suits you.”
After a long while, that was all the answer he gave. Tae Shinwoo didn’t bother denying it.
Still covering his face where the laughter had subsided, Seo Eunho held back a deep sigh. He was getting more and more greedy, which was a problem. He’d tried to distance himself but only grew closer.
Tae Shinwoo’s future would undoubtedly be spectacularly brilliant unlike his own. Standing beside him, he would certainly be shabby. But still, the same thought occurred to him. Eventually, someday, Tae Shinwoo and himself wouldn’t even remain as friends. The gap between him and himself would widen more over time, and the time they spent together like now would gradually disappear.
Then, wouldn’t it be okay to just go for it?
An irresponsible thought bloomed. As long as no one finds out, right? If he was just careful about that, if he could avoid being any trouble to Tae Shinwoo at all, wouldn’t it be okay?
An absurd rationalization coiled up deep in his head. But he couldn’t help it. Seo Eunho wanted Tae Shinwoo so, so much. His greed was only growing larger and larger.
