As his voice grew smaller with hurt feelings, Cha Dobum glanced back. Although covered by the helmet, the head drooping deeply downward allowed him to infer the face beyond. Cha Dobum, who chuckled, looked ahead and asked.
“Is the princess crying again?”
“I’m not crying.”
“Were you that sad hyung-ah couldn’t graduate?”
Let’s not talk. Cha Ihyun pressed his lips tightly shut. After some time had passed, Cha Dobum said in passing.
“It can’t be helped. There are bastards who only understand when you do it like that.”
It was a tone as light as a passing breeze. But those words, unlike the previous frivolous remarks, stayed with Cha Ihyun for a while.
Actually, he knew too. In the world, there were types where the logic of power was more effective.
After that incident, the rumors about Cha Ihyun disappeared as if they had never existed. Even after Baek Seunghoon returned to school, that group never mentioned Cha Ihyun even once. Cha Dobum, who had reigned in the classroom, disappeared, but the scars left on tongues and the imprinted fear kept their mouths tightly shut.
Cha Ihyun stared at Cha Dobum’s back. The back of this guy who had no plan or principle, who seemed furthest from being an ‘adult’ more than anyone, was bigger than he thought. Enough that even if he took off this helmet, he wouldn’t feel the wind pouring from ahead at all.
Cha Ihyun, whose lips had been twitching, looked at the scenery submerged in darkness instead of adding anything.
Then, his eyes met with some black shape above the wall beside them. It moved in parallel with the slowly advancing motorcycle. Cha Ihyun shook Cha Dobum’s clothes in delight.
“Stop for a second!”
The motorcycle stopped immediately. Then the thing that had been following on top of the wall went ‘meow’ and jumped down to the road.
It was a stray cat he’d seen around the house. The cat with a pitch-black tuxedo and what looked like white socks was noticeable, and every time it met Cha Ihyun, it would raise its fur and hiss. So the cat he’d always just looked at from afar had suddenly closed the distance like this.
“What, won’t you get out of the way?”
Despite Cha Dobum’s threatening, the cat flopped down in front of the motorcycle and rolled over its belly. The motorcycle that had stopped moved again and Cha Ihyun was startled, but Cha Dobum lightly turned direction and passed the cat. Then the cat that had quickly gotten up passed the motorcycle and flopped down again.
“Ah, this black thing is starting again.”
“Again?”
It seemed Cha Dobum knew this cat too. At the cat’s repeated road-blocking, Cha Dobum stopped the motorcycle with a sigh. Cha Ihyun sat blankly watching him approach the cat.
The moment Cha Dobum lowered his upper body, the cat jumped up as if it had been waiting. From the ball of fur clinging to Cha Dobum’s shoulder came a purring motor sound. He wasn’t sure, but it looked happy. Judging by how it kept rubbing its face against his neck.
Geez. If you know how to act cute like that, why did you raise your fur at me like that? Childish jealousy rose, but Cha Ihyun couldn’t take his eyes off the cat and just wiggled his fingers.
Cha Dobum approached the motorcycle. Then he lowered his upper body to match eye level with the cat.
“Say hi to Ggumdungi.”
The cat he faced nose-to-nose was just docile. It was that cat he’d wanted to pet every time they met, only wiggling his hands inside his pockets. When he extended his hand as if possessed and then startled pulled it back, Cha Dobum looked at him puzzled.
“Don’t you want to touch it?”
He wanted to touch it. But he couldn’t because his hyung came to mind.
His hyung didn’t really like animals. He’d never said it directly, but Cha Ihyun had noticed it when he was young. Long ago when he’d brought a stray cat home, his hyung had washed his hands for over ten minutes. So after that day, he’d never brought cats home or petted them.
“What. Don’t tell me you’re scared?”
Cha Dobum, who smiled mischievously, patted the cat’s head tap, tap. The face squishing under the rough, large hand was just gentle and mild. Cha Ihyun quietly swallowed an exclamation at the face meowing as if asking to be petted more.
“Ggumdungi doesn’t bite. Here.”
When Cha Dobum stopped his hand, the triangular ears perked up stiffly. The appearance as if asking him to finish petting incited Cha Ihyun’s impulse.
Hyung’s not here now either……
When he carefully extended his hand, the cat bumped its nose. It was so small, moist, and soft. His lips twitched at the sensation far from dirty. He gently stroked the ball of fur. The ears that flattened under his palm and then popped back up were so cute he couldn’t stop his hand.
Cha Dobum, who had been watching that sight, let out a hollow laugh.
“If you like it that much, why don’t you take it home and raise it?”
“Don’t say ridiculous things.”
“Why is it ridiculous?”
“It’s dirty.”
“……Wow.”
Cha Dobum, who had been stunned, belatedly covered the cotton ball’s ears.
“Ggumdungi’s gonna cry, fuck……”
As if responding to Cha Dobum’s words, the cat went meow. The moment both burst into laughter simultaneously, sudden light flashed from the end of the opposite road.
It was headlights. The truck that revealed itself turning the corner was huge enough to fill the narrow road. But the light that seemed to pierce their eyes covered their vision, making the truck’s shape not properly visible.
Cha Dobum was the one who reacted first. Quickly extending his hand, he shoved the helmet into his embrace and turned his back. Cha Ihyun, caught between him and the wall, tightly gripped Cha Dobum’s clothes. The truck belatedly discovered the two people’s presence and sharply turned the wheel.
Screeeeech—!
The sound of tires scraping the ground seemed to tear the space. At that roar, the two people’s bodies pressed even more against each other. Behind the truck that barely missed the two, dirt flew up and covered them.
The vision was completely black. What Cha Ihyun could feel was the warmth tightly embracing his body and his own quickening breath.
The already small breathing space inside the helmet filled with acrid exhaust and dirt. His breathing quickened in panic. Huk, huk, he hurriedly inhaled, but oxygen couldn’t pass through the severely constricted airways.
Then gradually the surrounding sounds faded. All he could hear was his increasingly rapid heartbeat and ragged breathing. Those sounds made his heart anxious like a stopwatch that had entered countdown.
I’m going to, going to die.
He tried to take off the helmet, but his hands only slipped. Cold sweat flowed down his back at the fear that his breath would be cut off any moment. The moment his vision gradually darkened, the surroundings suddenly opened up and his head felt light.
“……Huk!”
The air surrounding his face was cool. He hurriedly inhaled the clear air, but his body that had already lost its pace couldn’t send the breath down deep.
Cha Dobum seemed to be saying something, but he couldn’t hear anything. Seeing him urgently rummaging through his pockets, it seemed he was looking for the inhaler. Cha Ihyun shook his head helplessly. It was the respirator he always carried around, but he hadn’t thought to bring it for this unplanned outing.
He could see Cha Dobum’s mouth moving saying ‘fuck.’ He made a call somewhere. Was he calling an ambulance? But his expression was too scary. It was already scary, but seeing Cha Dobum so flustered made him frightened. When he grabbed Cha Dobum’s collar, he threw the phone and held his hand.
The hand that supported his posture to make breathing easier stroked his back. A low bass as if trying to calm him resonated in his ear, but both the voice and the hand stroking down his back grew faster and faster. Cha Dobum’s hand was trembling.
His head knew. That the ambulance would come soon, so he just had to calm his breathing and wait. But it felt like his breath would be cut off any moment, making tears well up.
“Heu, heuk, huk……”
When sobs mixed with his wheezing breath, Cha Dobum wiped Cha Ihyun’s eyes.
“Fuck……”
The already pale face had turned deathly white. At the sight that looked precarious like a candle about to go out any moment, Cha Dobum gritted his teeth.
He too knew the emergency treatment for when an asthma attack came. But his head had long since evaporated white like Cha Ihyun’s complexion.
Seeing the crying face made him impatient. It felt like he had to push his own breath in right now. His body moved quickly.
“Heu, mmph……”
Between the pressed lips, urgent and hot breath poured out. Naturally, that breath couldn’t reach inside the closed airways. But the burning warmth reached vividly as if awakening the fading consciousness.
The sensation that Cha Dobum was beside him. That was soon the sensation of being safe, and that entered his lungs before breath.
As his body found calm, the airways gradually opened. When Cha Ihyun faintly inhaled, Cha Dobum slowly let out breath matching his breathing. After repeating that several times, the rapidly heaving chest rose and fell at the same speed as the chest it touched.
Cha Ihyun let out a long breath. The distant sensations returned to their places one by one, and sounds from the surroundings began to be heard in his ears that had been like a vacuum. Things like the breathing sounds from across that intertwined with his own breath, and the chirping sounds of insects spreading behind it.
The lips separated. When he slowly lifted his eyelids, pitch-black eyes were right in front. As he stared blankly at those eyes while catching his breath, Cha Dobum tilted his head slightly. Before even recognizing the distance closing again, Cha Ihyun unconsciously closed his eyes.
The moment the upper lip was about to touch slightly, a siren sound was heard from far away.
At the sound growing closer, both opened their eyes simultaneously. The two who wordlessly stared into each other’s eyes only separated from each other when the ambulance approached, illuminating the surroundings.
- Crossed Signals
Summer vacation began.
Although it was his last vacation as a high school student, Cha Ihyun had no time to feel that. The schedule filled with lessons from early morning to night ran according to full-fledged college entrance exam preparation.
There were advantages to the busy schedule. The fact that chances to run into Cha Dobum naturally decreased, and therefore it made him stop useless idle thoughts about that night’s events.
That day, Cha Ihyun who returned home couldn’t fall asleep until morning dawned.
Hugging the pillow tightly to his side, he kept thinking. About why Cha Dobum had done such a thing.
