Living diligently isn’t difficult. Although making an effort is very arduous and troublesome, if you just do it without much thought, it’s quite manageable.
And living well, though sometimes a bit difficult, isn’t completely impossible. If you bustle about, you can accomplish even small things.
But… living healthily isn’t something I can control.
‘There’s a limit set from the beginning.’
There’s a realm that can’t be reached with consistent squats, lunges, and planks.
My frame is small and my flesh is soft, so muscles don’t build easily. My constitution and stamina are both far from ideal, and having to suffer every time the ‘Chaos Meter’ drops wasn’t just a minor inconvenience.
What can I do even if it’s unfair? They say I need to manage myself better to use even a little magic well. I lay down, chewing over my complaints about my uncooperative body.
But before I could even close my eyes, sensing an ominous premonition, I quickly sat up. As soon as I covered my nose with my hand, something warm poured onto my palm.
“Damn it.”
It would be troublesome if the nosebleed got on the bedding. As I slightly leaned my upper body out of the bed, blood drops I couldn’t stop in time dripped onto the floor. Perhaps because there was more bleeding than expected, my vision spun.
‘This won’t do.’
In this wrecked state, forget magic—it interferes with daily life. But that said, I couldn’t really cause a ruckus and trouble others just to save myself.
So I needed a drastic measure. I had to somehow meet that pale, faint existence who could help me. Because that was the only way to overcome this situation without being a burden to this world.
“…When I meet him, I’ll rub his lips first.”
Would I only kiss him? I was even willing to pretend not to notice if he acted impudently like last time.
Did my earnest wish get through?
After struggling to stop the bleeding and falling asleep as if fainting, my darkened vision brightened to pure white. I had entered that one’s domain.
But the joy was brief. I frowned deeply and looked around.
“…Don’t tell me it’s an empty house again today?”
The one who should have come out to greet me long ago was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment surged in the silence where I felt no presence at all.
With a sullen expression, I glared at the empty air, then finally made some decision and opened my lips.
“You asked me to give you a name.”
‘Call me by words only you know.’
My opinion remains unchanged. Giving a name means becoming special to someone, and becoming special ultimately means hurting that much more.
But regardless of the purpose, this one had shared power with me. So I too had to bear a certain part of it.
“Let’s see. What name would suit you…”
I should put sincerity into it, but not too much. If there’s a word that doesn’t seek anything yet describes him well, and at the same time is known only to me—
“Blanc.”
Because even the place where you stayed is pure white like the first snow that fell that year.
“I’ll name you Blanc, your name.”
At that moment, as if responding to my call, the entire space rippled lightly. At the sensation of the ground beneath my feet sinking softly and returning, I clenched my fist once tightly and then opened it.
“If you want to hear it directly, come find me.”
Returning to reality from the pure white dream world, I felt something that had been sleeping within me beginning to turn.
Strangely, I seemed to know what it was. It was the ‘wheel of fate’ that Blanc had spoken of before. That intangible force that connects person to person, pulls someone in, and sometimes forcibly separates them.
As I called him and chose to walk toward my fate with him, one wheel began to turn.
I didn’t regret it. Because I knew that eventually, at some point, I would have had to give him a name, a heart, and thus a part of my life.
And so I accepted yet another new fate.
***
“Ha, life really isn’t easy…”
The next day. I humbly accepted the worst physical condition that arrived as expected. Since I hadn’t met Blanc, it couldn’t be helped.
I wanted to lie in bed all day if I could, but unfortunately, today was the day the goods from the Sting Trading Company would arrive.
Since it was the first official transaction conducted at the territory level, and more servants to stay and work at the castle were coming in, I, as the lord, had to personally oversee it.
So the backup plan I chose was conserving my movement. After washing and getting ready, I would move to the office and handle everything there—meals, rest, reports, and work.
If I showed my bloodless face, I’d obviously cause worry, so the breakfast I usually shared with Lenox had to be taken separately out of necessity.
“I told the young Your Imperial Majesty that you were unavoidably busy with work.”
I nodded while sipping bitter tea.
“Right. He must be upset.”
“More than upset… he asked if he couldn’t even visit the sick.”
My eyes instantly sharpened at those words.
“I told you not to say I was sick.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“If you didn’t say anything, why is the kid asking to visit the sick?”
“…There are things in this world you can know without being told, Your Imperial Majesty.”
I looked Billy over with suspicious eyes, but with his hands clasped behind his back, he only insisted that he truly hadn’t said a single word.
Then he glanced at my plate, which I hadn’t even finished half of, and nagged politely.
“The more you’re like this, the more the young Your Imperial Majesty will worry.”
…I forced myself to eat one more bite of food.
“Is Lenox’s magic lessons going well?”
“Yes. Now he’s become much more stable in handling mana as well. They say his learning speed is incredibly fast.”
Billy’s explanation continued.
“It’s a bit concerning that his build is smaller than his peers, but since there are children who grow late, you don’t need to worry too much. Since the young Your Imperial Majesty wishes it, we measure his height once a month and mark it on the closet wall in his bedroom.”
“Well done.”
I nodded and said.
“Magic is one thing, but it’s an age when physical problems easily arise, so check carefully. Show him to a doctor periodically, and watch for growth pains or side effects from training.”
“Understood.”
“Among the newly hired servants this time, select about two around Lenox’s age and assign them as dedicated servants. So he can have companions to talk to.”
“You mean multiple people?”
“One would be enough, but the kid has his own tastes, doesn’t he? Let him choose from among them.”
“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.”
Billy smiled and nodded.
“Are there no other concerns?”
My mouth, about to ask more things, closed tightly.
“Concerns, what concerns… It would be troublesome in many ways if the kid doesn’t do well, so I’m just doing the bare minimum.”
“Yes.”
“It’s what I should naturally do as the lord.”
“Very reasonable words.”
I spoke gruffly to Billy, who was smiling brightly.
“So why don’t you put away that pleased expression?”
I’m the one eating, so why are you the one making a full expression?
“I can’t help it…”
Billy clasped his hands together and his eyes sparkled.
“His Imperial Majesty the Emperor, who always drove people away with a consistently cold attitude, is taking someone in and caring for them. Since this is something I never even dreamed of, these days every single day is truly deeply moving.”
“No, don’t be moved.”
“Then I’ll be touched.”
“No, no. Don’t be touched either.”
“Shall I be joyful then?”
“I said no…”
I folded my fingers one by one, giving appropriate examples.
“If anything, think of it as capriciousness, irritation, causing a scene, a ruckus. Understand?”
“…Your Imperial Majesty doing such things?”
“Yes.”
Who am I? A traitor, arrogant person, demon, libertine, scoundrel, trash, betrayer, capricious person, trickster…
“But Your Imperial Majesty is a good person?”
In the end, the bright Billy firmly shaved off 3 percent of my ‘Chaos Meter.’ At times like this, he truly was a Head Steward who had given all his tact to the northern magical beasts.
A day I endured by forcing myself through a physical condition where I felt like I’d faint at any moment. I thought my efforts wouldn’t be in vain and it would end safely…
“Damn it.”
A problem had occurred.
