Different Dreams in the Same Bed (7)
“Jaehyuk, did you sleep well?”
Jaehyuk rubbed his eyes and bolted upright. It was still the dim light of early dawn. Kang Jeongbae, who yesterday had despaired as if the sky had fallen, was nowhere to be found, and today he had returned with his usual bright face.
A mischievous expression. A slightly wrinkled T-shirt. Even the hand that naturally reached out to stroke Jaehyuk’s hair. He acted as if nothing had happened.
‘He’s smiling again… hiding how hard it really is.’
While Jaehyuk felt relieved, one corner of his heart ached. His lover was a strong person. Someone who tried to endure and overcome hardships on his own, even when things were difficult.
After hesitating, Jaehyuk finally brought up what had been on his mind since yesterday.
“Since things turned out this way, I’ll take care of living expenses for the time being. I want you to rest a bit. Focus on your studies too. You got hurt because of me anyway.”
Jeongbae just smiled silently, then slowly opened his mouth.
“You’re the one who’s a third-year student. With only two years left, you’ll be swamped preparing for the exam…”
It was only after visiting Jaehyuk’s school last time that he realized what a tremendous exam Jaehyuk was preparing for. It was fierce competition among the smart-looking law students. All the students, including Isol, were running toward the same goal as Jaehyuk.
“I can work part-time too. And you’re the one who needs to properly take the college entrance exam this year and go to university next year.”
“Mm, I appreciate the thought alone. But I’ll take care of my own livelihood. Don’t worry, Jaehyuk.”
Jeongbae’s voice was gentle but firm. A sense of distance that seemed like he’d agree to anything while never letting anyone get close. Jaehyuk had no choice but to just nod his head.
“Have a simple meal with Dogyeom. I’ll look around the neighborhood and come back.”
Before Jaehyuk could stop him, Jeongbae was already slipping on his shoes.
“It’s only been one day since you got hurt. Rest today…”
“I’m, I’m restless. I won’t work. I’ll just take a walk and come back.”
“Then let’s go together. Wait a moment.”
Jaehyuk tried to dissuade him, but Jeongbae was already opening the front door.
“I want to be alone for a bit. Can’t I?”
His cute, impish face scrunched up his nose charmingly. Jaehyuk didn’t like it but pretended to give in.
“Don’t wander around for too long. And contact me right away if anything happens.”
“Sure. I’m not a kid…”
Jeongbae laughed lightly as if in a good mood and went out the door.
With a click, the door closed and the house became a little quieter. Jaehyuk stood there for a while in that silence, unable to say anything.
The dawn labor market.
The alley was already packed with people. The smell of cigarettes, the smell of sweat, the savory smell from kimbap bags mixed together, making the air heavy even at this early hour. These were people who had gathered here looking for somewhere to go.
“Boss, we have to return the equipment today, right?”
“Hey, get in line properly over there!”
“Two people for the container side—here, over here!”
The shoulders of people standing in front of the job board were packed together in layers.
Someone was checking for work on their phone, someone grumbled that they’d been off for days, and someone was nodding off, not quite sober yet. Under the tent, newcomers and veteran workers mixed together, holding worn file folders as names were called one by one.
‘If it’s cleaning or flagman work, it might be possible. My right hand is fine.’
Jeongbae carefully squeezed into the gap. Shoulders bumped, curses brushed past. People were mixed together, but strangely Jeongbae felt alone.
The damp dirt ground, rough breathing, the sound of truck engines starting, the shouts of drivers who had brought site vehicles.
Even at dawn, people desperate for ‘work’ were fierce.
“Student, what work are you going to do with your arm like that?”
At the rebuke coming from somewhere, Jeongbae bowed his head slightly.
“My right arm is fine. I’ll work hard so I won’t be a burden. I can do trash pickup or be a flagman.”
“Look, even healthy people are leaving empty-handed because there are no spots right now. Tsk.”
Jeongbae smiled awkwardly and held his ground. After people were called in groups of three or five and about an hour passed, the alley emptied out. All the people who couldn’t find work had gone home, but Jeongbae couldn’t do that. The labor office manager approached Jeongbae with a pitying look.
“This place is done for, but go try that flyer distribution place. It’s at the newspaper distribution center in the alley after next.”
“Ah, thank you, Boss.”
Jeongbae’s complexion brightened considerably. As expected, the saying that necessity is the mother of invention was right. Jeongbae, who had bowed 90 degrees in thanks, quickly ran toward the next alley.
‘If I can do flyer work regularly…’
It was like a very small light had turned on. It was more painful to just sit around doing nothing like this.
***
“Hey, didn’t you see the ‘No Street Vendors, No Flyer Posting’ sign here?”
Jeongbae hurriedly hid the flyer he was about to put up on the wall behind him. His shoulders flinched and stiffened at the sudden scolding.
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
“Geez, really. A young person.”
The middle-aged man glanced over Jeongbae’s cast and actually frowned even more.
“Please overlook it just this once. I hurt my arm… I have circumstances.”
Jeongbae spoke as politely as possible. His face burned hot with embarrassment and awkwardness. But the man snorted.
“When kids like you come and go, it lowers the dignity of our apartment complex.”
There was nothing to say even with ten mouths. Jeongbae bowed his head deeply.
“Yes, I understand. I apologize.”
As the apartment entrance door the man had entered closed, the thin bundle of flyers in Jeongbae’s hand trembled weakly. His left arm throbbed, but his chest hurt even more.
‘It’s okay… Just a little more. Today… I have to manage somehow.’
[All Together Gym! We’ll shed everything but your bones!]
Jeongbae neatly arranged the flyers he was holding with one hand. It bothered him that password locks were on every entrance, so he had to slip in when someone entered. After getting in, he had to watch out for residents and only use the stairs.
It wasn’t causing great harm, but the thought that it was illegal kept making his heart pound anxiously. Still, Jeongbae moved diligently, not skipping a single household.
‘Still, this is work I can do…’
After climbing up and down stairs of more than 20 floors several times, sweat streamed down his back. His casted arm throbbed as if more swollen, but Jeongbae forced himself to catch his breath and climbed up again.
‘Just a little more… Just this one building left…’
It was when he hurried a bit and grabbed the stair railing to turn. In an instant, he felt the sole of his foot slip. Whether it was because of moisture or because his strength gave out, there was no time to think.
“Huh?”
His body tilted backward, and Jeongbae tumbled down, having lost his center of balance.
Thud, crash!
He instinctively protected his injured arm. His back and side hit the railing as the bundle of flyers scattered into the air. A breathtaking shock washed over him.
“Ugh…”
He stayed curled up like that for a while. His injured left arm tingled, and blood seeped out from his clothes torn by scraping against the stair edge. Flyers were scattered everywhere, fluttering.
‘Ah… No. I still… need to do more…’
Jeongbae barely managed to lift his body by pressing the stairs with his trembling right hand. Even exhaling was painful.
The smile he used to force on his lips to seem okay, his bright voice, even the thought that he could do it—all seemed to have tumbled down the stairs. Jeongbae’s eyes wavered faintly. But soon he shook his head several times and bit down hard. If he cried, it felt like it would really be over.
“I’m okay… Still… I’m okay…”
However, his voice was trembling slightly without him realizing it.
It was at that moment. Someone looked down at Jeongbae from the top of the stairs and muttered.
“Hey, what are you doing here? Spilling flyers all over the place! Geez… really trash everywhere…”
Jeongbae couldn’t lift his head and took a small breath. His arms scrambled urgently to gather the scattered papers.
On the way home, it rained. Jeongbae just walked in the rain.
‘How pathetic.’
The money he earned today after all that hardship was a little over 30,000 won. The flyer boss insisted that many houses didn’t have flyers posted, contrary to the promise, and stubbornly deducted 20,000 won from the daily wage.
‘It’s because you’re clumsy since it’s your first time, okay? Paste them well next time.’
Jeongbae couldn’t say anything.
‘What… did I do wrong?’
The wet cast became heavier as it got soggier. The rain began to fall more heavily. Puddles on the roadside created ripples.
‘Just a little more… let’s endure just a little more.’
After walking like that for a while, Jeongbae suddenly stopped. He was out of breath and suffocated. He worked hard, really hard, so why was it only this difficult? Resentment, sadness, anger, irritation—all negative emotions kept leaking out. Why do only such hard things happen to me? Jeongbae genuinely pondered.
‘Don’t pretend to be okay… Just for a moment… only here…’
He lifted his face for a moment and took the rain head-on. Rain and breath mixed, and the inside of his throat became hot as if something was stuck.
“It’s hard. I’m exhausted. I want to rest.”
The small voice that no one could hear was quietly buried in the dim alley. Jeongbae lowered his head again and walked. The closer he got to home, the more Jeongbae quietly arranged his expression. Now he had to return to being the usual Kang Jeongbae.
Breathe in, breathe out. He forced the corners of his mouth up. Like usual, pretending nothing was wrong. Before opening the door, Jeongbae roughly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand one last time.
“I’m back.”
As soon as he entered the front door, the warm air from inside the house came rushing in mixed together. Dogyeom lifted his head first.
“Hyung, you’re ba… ck?”
Dogyeom’s expression, which was usually playful, slowly hardened. Jeongbae’s wet clothes and the drooping cast. Jaehyuk rushed out in an instant. His wide-open eyes scanned Jeongbae thoroughly.
“…You got caught in the rain?”
Jaehyuk’s large hand slowly swept away the hair stuck to Jeongbae’s forehead. Jeongbae smiled naturally. As he always had.
“I guess it was a sudden shower. It’s okay. It’ll dry soon.”
His T-shirt clung to his body and water dripped from the hem of his pants, but Jeongbae’s voice was light and bright.
“Did you eat?”
Jeongbae asked first. A habitual question to avoid talking about himself. Jaehyuk subtly furrowed his brow and pressed his lips tightly together.
“Did you?”
“I ate.”
It was a lie. He hadn’t had a sip of water all day since early morning. Jeongbae slightly hid his torn clothes and knees as he took off his shoes. Very naturally, so no one would see. But Jaehyuk didn’t miss that small movement. His sharp gaze briefly fixed on Jeongbae’s knee, then slowly rose to touch his face.
Jeongbae didn’t avoid that gaze and smiled even more brightly.
“I’ll wash up.”
At that moment, his body was lifted up. It was Jaehyuk. A stern face was staring directly at him.
“I’m not—”
“Don’t you know you can’t get water on a cast! Where did you wander around like this with an injured body?”
A voice that was clearly angry. The moment he flinched, gentle hands swept through his hair.
“Put… put me down. You’ll get all wet too.”
“No.”
With those final words, Jeongbae was carried into the bathroom while being held. Dogyeom, who would normally have yelled to get away from his hyung, said nothing. After wrapping the casted arm tightly in plastic, Jaehyuk slowly removed and organized Jeongbae’s wet clothes.
“Lift your arm. And where did you hurt your leg?”
Warm water slowly poured over his body, and soon soft foam enveloped his head and body. It was a gentle and tender touch, as if washing a child. The expressionless face examined Jeongbae’s scraped knee and shoulder. Jeongbae unconsciously shrank back.
“You’re getting all wet too.”
“I’m going to wash up too. Clothes can be washed.”
Warm water descended again, and a soft towel was placed on his head and body. It was strange. Even though that was all it was, Jeongbae felt like one corner of his exhausted and empty heart was slowly filling up.
