First Date (4)
“Hnngh… hic. Huu…”
Under the pouring stream of water, Jeongbae was sobbing.
The sound of the shower walls thudding. The sound of skin slapping. The sound of foam sliding. All the sounds tangled together and his head felt like it would burst.
“I like you.”
The lips that had been licking his earlobe from behind whispered softly. Jeongbae shook his head firmly.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear that.”
When Jeongbae choked up, Jaehyuk asked back with a snickering laugh.
“Why? Why shouldn’t I?”
As if in retaliation, Jaehyuk’s thick pheromones descended on Jeongbae’s body. His mind grew distant.
“Huuuu…”
“Really, I’m asking because I’m curious.”
“Nngh… the pheromones… are too strong… just a little…”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Hnngh, hic…”
“…Or do you hate me?”
Jeongbae couldn’t collect himself. The feeling of dizzily falling. Excitement and elation combined with fatigue and alcohol made it feel like his brain would melt. In the midst of it, when a large hand stroked down his back, goosebumps rose all over.
“Tell… me.”
“Hnng, haah…”
Jeongbae forcefully covered his mouth with both hands. The truth trying to burst out. But the persistent touch finally removed Jeongbae’s hands. Sealed by large hands, their lower bodies rubbed against each other ceaselessly.
“I like you, Kang Jeongbae.”
“Hic… don’t keep doing this. Why are you doing this to me? You can’t do this.”
Jeongbae cried out.
“Why? Why can’t I…”
At the voice whispering seductively in his ear, Jeongbae felt like he’d lose his mind.
“Huuuu…”
“Shh. Good boy. Just tell me the reason. If I’m convinced, I’ll leave right away.”
At the word ‘leave,’ Jeongbae’s back flinched. His hesitating lips finally spat out the truth.
“I’ll… start to… like you.”
Jeongbae ended up sobbing. Now that the feelings he’d tried to hide until the end were discovered, tears wouldn’t stop from sorrow and self-loathing.
“What? Say that again.”
“Hnngh… I’ll cling to you saying I like you. So come to your senses.”
“……”
All of Jaehyuk’s movements stopped. He hurriedly lifted Jeongbae up and slowly examined his face.
“I warned you I was a honey trap.”
Jeongbae’s face twisted in pain.
“I’m an idiot… so if you’re good to me, I like you. But why do you keep me…”
Jaehyuk supported Jeongbae who finally burst into pitiful sobs with a wail. His expression that had been soaked in excitement slowly hardened.
Seeing Jaehyuk’s expression turn somehow coldly, Jeongbae felt that everything was finally going right.
When he opened his eyes, it was still before dawn. Habits were truly frightening. Jeongbae hurriedly rubbed his swollen eyes several times and put on the clothes scattered messily on the carpet.
Grueling labor, alcohol after a long time, plus Jaehyuk’s pheromones and caresses—when he came out of the bathroom, he was so exhausted he couldn’t say a word.
Last night, after sobbing in the bathroom, Jaehyuk silently dried him off and laid Jeongbae on the bed. His actions were gentle but his attitude was somehow distant.
‘Ah, so this was it. The way to push Yoon Jaehyuk away.’
It was easier than expected, to the point of feeling empty. He just had to be honest. That he was attracted to him, that he’d grown to like him and would bother him. Yoon Jaehyuk was just the type who was more drawn to an impregnable fortress, prey he couldn’t catch. Ignoring the stinging in one side of his chest, Jeongbae hurriedly put on his shoes. He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. Everything had flowed as intended, but that was also disappointing and sad.
‘I should leave without waking him.’
Today was also a day of construction labor. He had to hurry to get to the site by 6 o’clock.
‘How much would a place like this cost for one night?’
He took out all the daily wages he’d received yesterday and all the cash he had to pay for the hotel.
The moment he was about to put it on the table.
“Where are you going?”
“Eek.”
Jeongbae was startled out of his wits. Jaehyuk, who he’d naturally thought would be sleeping on one side of the bed, was sitting upright on the sofa. He looked like he’d stayed up all night. He’d been silently watching what Jeongbae was doing in the darkness. His eyes were quiet, and his face was still unreadable.
“I have to go… to my part-time job.”
“I’ll drive you.”
A stiff statement. Jeongbae tried to refuse, but couldn’t even respond at the too-cold attitude. Jaehyuk, who finished preparing in an instant, picked up his car keys and gestured with his eyes.
‘This will be the last time anyway.’
Jeongbae followed Jaehyuk from a distance. The path to the parking lot felt endlessly long.
“Get in.”
A short, dry statement.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Jeongbae got into the passenger seat with as indifferent an expression as possible. Even the sound of closing the door felt unnecessarily loud. Jaehyuk’s attitude was surprisingly cold. It was as if all the sweet words and times they’d shared were a lie. Jeongbae’s throat tightened and his eyes grew hot, but he gritted his teeth and endured.
‘This is something I fully expected and wanted.’
After asking for the destination, Jaehyuk didn’t say a word the entire drive. Jeongbae also kept his mouth tightly shut, clenching his fists lest any sad signs leak out.
The morning sun was slowly rising outside the window. Faint golden sunlight spread across the car window.
‘Still, tomorrow’s sun rises. That saying is just right.’
Recalling a phrase from a very old movie he’d seen, Jeongbae steeled his heart.
It wasn’t the first time he’d been rejected right after confessing, and he’d experienced countless harder things… Looking at the brightening morning sun, Jeongbae forced the corners of his mouth up. He wanted to say his last goodbye with a somewhat smiling face.
About ten minutes in silence.
They’d already arrived at the construction site. Now it was really goodbye. Once he undid his seatbelt, said goodbye and parted ways, they’d never see each other again.
“Thanks for the ride.”
Other things he wanted to say came to mind. Like it was fun all this time, or stay healthy. But he gritted his teeth and held back. Jeongbae glanced at Jaehyuk’s profile as he turned his head away without even looking at him, and opened the car door.
“Wait.”
One short syllable.
“Ha.”
Jaehyuk let out an empty laugh.
“You were going to just leave like that?”
Jeongbae hurriedly tried to pull himself out, but his wrist was already caught. A strong force sat him back down.
“What is it? I need to go.”
“I hoped I was wrong. But it’s true.”
“What does that mean?”
Jaehyuk slowly turned his head. His face had the same expressionless look as before, but only his eyes were somehow hotly wavering.
“You were really planning to run away like this?”
Jeongbae’s heart thumped.
“That thing you said yesterday… you were going to pretend it was just from drinking and forget it?”
Jaehyuk laughed lowly.
“Did you think I wouldn’t know?”
Flustered, Jeongbae only moved his lips.
“That is, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was drunk—”
Before he could finish speaking, Jaehyuk gripped Jeongbae’s wrist even harder.
“What you said crying yesterday. You’re running away because you regret it, right?”
Jeongbae was at a loss for words.
“Tell me it’s not true.”
“It is, I’m running away.”
Jeongbae avoided his eyes.
“And what did I even say…”
“That you like me.”
“When did I…”
“Ha, this is driving me crazy.”
Jaehyuk dropped his head. He bit down hard for a moment, then suddenly shouted loudly.
“Right, you didn’t say you like me!”
Then his voice became even sharper, as if it would burst.
“You said ‘I don’t want to like you’!”
Bang. The steering wheel was struck as if it would shatter. Jeongbae swallowed his breath.
‘What is he talking about right now…’
“Look at you even now. You were planning to go and never see me again. Just like you did with that doctor bastard.”
Jaehyuk’s large hand grabbed Jeongbae’s jaw.
“I left you alone to see what you’d do, and you’re exactly as expected—it’s absurd.”
Jaehyuk’s breathing shook roughly.
“Jaehyuk, that’s—”
“I’m begging like this just to hear you say you like me once!”
Jeongbae’s lips trembled.
“And you can’t do that, you don’t want to, so you’re running away with your tail between your legs?”
Jaehyuk let out an empty laugh and gripped Jeongbae’s jawline even more firmly.
“Going on about being a honey trap or whatever…”
His eyes sank coldly.
“Then fuck! At least swindle me properly! When you won’t even let me buy you a single meal properly!”
Jeongbae’s mind went blank.
‘He’s not turned off from me. What is this…’
At the words that burst out like a shout, Jeongbae was dazed for a moment.
‘Why is he so angry… no, why is he… like he’s clinging…’
It was a completely unexpected development.
“Why? Does it seem like I’m clinging to you?”
When Jeongbae was startled at having his inner thoughts read, Jaehyuk smiled bitterly.
“That’s right, I’m clinging to you. No matter how much I think about it, there’s no other way. You’re not good at things like liking each other mutually.”
Jaehyuk continued very slowly, but with brutally honest words.
“Waiting for you to approach first was impossible from the start.”
Jeongbae drew in a breath. Jaehyuk snorted as if mocking that reaction.
“There’s no more push and pull between us now.”
His voice was low and dry, but each word he spat out choked Jeongbae’s breath.
“If I push away even once, you’ll just leave like you did just now.”
Jeongbae’s heart sank with a thud. Seeing that, Jaehyuk’s eyes gleamed coldly.
“So—”
Jaehyuk gripped his wrist even more firmly.
“I’m going to cling to you constantly from now on.”
Slowly, with a confident tone. A manner of speaking that left no room for escape.
“So you can’t run away anywhere.”
Jeongbae squeezed his eyes shut. What was more frightening wasn’t that he couldn’t run away, but the fact that he didn’t want to run away.
