Time flew by like an arrow. It was a little over 3 years since Baek Sihyeon had crossed over to this world. At the same time, it had been three months since Baek Sihyeon had gradually begun to distance himself from Ruvlian Belitent.
Ruvlian Belitent’s mood grew increasingly foul. It was true that it was because Baek Sihyeon was distancing himself. To be precise, it was because the speculation about ‘Rian’ hadn’t yet been definitively concluded, and he was being gently pushed to the boundary line.
Even though he’d confirmed that ‘Rian’ was Baek Sihyeon from the future, he thought this way while unconsciously recognizing that he couldn’t obtain that path from Baek Sihyeon, who currently knew nothing.
Ruvlian Belitent didn’t even think that the emotion he was feeling toward Baek Sihyeon was love. Even though he hated the growing distance, even though laughter came naturally. He didn’t know the name of that emotion. He just thought the troublesome constant pounding of his heart was due to the discomfort of acting like lovers with someone of the same sex. Even though he’d thought it was fine despite him being a man in the beginning.
It was annoying how his heart pounded when they were together. The emotion he hadn’t felt before tickled him in a strange way and was irritating. It was troublesome to accommodate him at every turn. That said, if he increased the distance, the heart palpitations different from usual were annoying, and it was irritating how the tickling that had been abundant before disappeared. He’d gotten into the habit of accommodating him, so it was troublesome in its own way when Baek Sihyeon wasn’t around.
Ruvlian Belitent didn’t clearly recognize what emotion he was feeling toward Baek Sihyeon. He just thought it was a troublesome, annoying, and ticklish emotion.
And before he could realize the meaning of that emotion, Baek Sihyeon stopped breathing.
From the final desperate strike that poured out all remaining strength, seemingly a last struggle aimed at himself.
“Sorry.”
With those words as the finale, his dense black eyelashes gradually descended, and his warm reddish-brown eyes were progressively hidden by his eyelids. He could feel his already cold body growing even colder. Ruvlian Belitent clutched Baek Sihyeon, who had thrown his body like covering him to block the Demon King’s final attack, and shouted at Deadrian.
“Don’t space out. Move! Divine Power, try using Divine Power, hurry!”
At that, Deadrian, who had been unable to move as if his feet were stuck to the ground, came near Baek Sihyeon and examined him. After checking, Deadrian’s face grew even paler and he bit his lips. The Demon King’s strike had accurately pierced his heart. The beating had already stopped. There was no way Ruvlian, whose body was overlapping with his, wouldn’t know that fact. Realizing that he was desperately denying it, that he was pleading, Deadrian bowed his head and shook it from side to side. It meant he was already dead.
The other companions’ faces also lost color. The joy of succeeding in killing the Demon King couldn’t be found anywhere. Silence descended. For a while, they stood still in that place as if time had stopped, blankly staring at Baek Sihyeon, who had closed his eyes with a peaceful face. To the point where they thought this scene might be engraved on their retinas.
The first to come to his senses and say they should move was Montrio. He gathered the remaining companions and returned to the Temple. News that the Hero had died at the same time as killing the Demon King spread throughout the entire continent. Everyone mourned, saying the Hero had met an honorable death.
Ruvlian Belitent, who couldn’t even properly remember how he’d returned to the estate, lived with his spirit missing after that. With a languid and exhausted face, he only looked at the reddish-brown branches outside the window. He blankly stared only at colors that reminded him of Baek Sihyeon.
He didn’t properly eat meals, and he rarely went outside. When he heard the words “honorable death,” he threw and shattered all the dishes and covered his face with both hands.
The unpleasant, irritating, troublesome, and annoying emotion wouldn’t disappear. The emotion that had been there whether Baek Sihyeon was present or not reacted even more greatly to his absence. It felt like his chest area was being squeezed tight. It felt like his lungs were filled with water. Because of this, Ruvlian came to check whether his breathing was normal at least several times a day.
Around that time, rumors circulated that the firstborn of House Belitent wasn’t in his right mind. Since he occasionally threw plates and shattered them, clutched his chest area and checked his breathing, and spaced out while looking at reddish-brown or pitch-black colors, such rumors couldn’t help but circulate.
It was shortly after the rumors circulated that Montrio visited House Belitent to meet him.
“Open the door.”
At the voice that came with the knock knock of knocking, Ruvlian weakly closed his eyes then opened them. Everything was bothersome. The world was entirely filled with black and white. His family shed tears and pleaded for him to please come to his senses. He couldn’t know what words Montrio Alescan, who’d suddenly come to visit, would say. He didn’t particularly want to hear them either.
His mind was already sound. Though he couldn’t deny he wasn’t fine. The emotion remaining like traces of Baek Sihyeon stuck stubbornly and wouldn’t fall off. The thick scent of blood, the body temperature growing coldly cool, the area near the heart that no longer beat—they wouldn’t be forgotten as if they’d permeated his body. He’d instinctively realized that to get his right mind back, he had to forget all of those things, so he became even more sensitive to those words.
“Ruvlian Belitent.”
“……”
“If Sihyeon saw how you are now, do you think he’d be happy?”
Montrio’s voice coming from beyond the door settled heavily. Ruvlian let out a hollow laugh. Of all things, he was even dragging Sihyeon into this.
“You’re not the only one who said goodbye. I did too, Alli did too, and Deadrian did too. I know you were special. Even if he didn’t like you, you liked him.”
“……I liked him?”
It was a very small mutter, but Montrio had excellent hearing. Having heard that tiny voice, he let out a hollow laugh. Then he asked back in a tone that said he truly found it absurd.
“Don’t you know how to look into your own heart? How obvious must it have been for every single person in the villages we stayed at to slyly ask if you two were dating? The Duke and Duchess would have noticed too if they’d seen you with Sihyeon.”
Rarely, he fell into confusion. He couldn’t understand that he’d liked Baek Sihyeon. Then this troublesome, annoying, and unpleasant emotion was love? He couldn’t believe it. Wasn’t love vaguely fluttering, playful yet happy, something like that?
Unpleasant, troublesome, annoying, irritating.
These were the feelings caused by the emotion he hadn’t been able to name until now. They terribly didn’t suit the supposedly sweet word ‘love.’
“You won’t believe it, but you always had a happy expression when you were with Sihyeon. You don’t know how startled I was when I first saw you smile naturally. So don’t stagnate in the past and flow to the present. Sihyeon would want that too.”
What stuck in Ruvlian Belitent’s ears from the continuing deep voice was ‘past.’ Just that one word. Without even listening to the next words, he turned the head he hadn’t used for a while.
‘Past, I can turn back time to the past……’
He also knew how crazy this was. Time and space on a scale that wasn’t vast was what God had permitted humans to use, but nothing beyond that. There had been people who tried to turn back time or move between worlds out of curiosity. However, all their ends were failures.
After Montrio babbled something more by himself, Ruvlian Belitent left his room. He ate, and explored all kinds of magic books that were among the compensation he’d taken from the Magic Tower before. His family was happy, but somehow somewhere uneasy. They couldn’t pinpoint it, but they were. However, since it was the first time seeing him pour out such enthusiasm, since it wasn’t a bored expression, they could only support him.
And in the end, 6 years later, he completed a magic circle that turned back time with insane tenacity. It was a magic circle that came out after various trials and errors. When he cast it without hesitation, ears, mouth, nose, eyes. Blood overflowed from all the holes in his body. It was painful. Tinnitus rang and his vision went dark. He felt the sensation of dying. When he was discouraged, thinking he’d failed like this, his vision brightened. Baek Sihyeon with a young face greeted him, staring blankly at him.
“Ah. Hello. ……I’m Baek Sihyeon, the Hero.”
It was the exact same greeting as before turning back time. Ruvlian Belitent brought his hand to Baek Sihyeon’s cheek and felt the warmth—cold, but alive. The flustered expression wasn’t in his consideration. He continued to touch Sihyeon, feeling that he was alive. He savored the lukewarm temperature.
However, that joy didn’t last long. Baek Sihyeon died again. This time because Baek Sihyeon, not himself, became the target of the final strike.
Ruvlian turned back time while feeling the sensation of dying again.
Everything that had happened was erased and descended. Mother, father, younger brother. They didn’t remember what had happened. Because the emotions from that time were solely his to bear, Ruvlian considered himself fortunate that his range of emotions was narrow.
Whether the magic circle he’d researched wasn’t perfect, he returned to a different time period than before. On the day the letter came from the Temple, Ruvlian Belitent ultimately received and read the letter and headed to the Temple.
But Baek Sihyeon died again.
He felt the sensation of dying again, spouting blood like a fountain. Time was turned back.
This time, whether the magic circle was unstable somewhere, Sihyeon didn’t forget the time before turning it back. You won’t die this time. I’ll be able to see you past twenty-two. He’d naively had such relief.
Baek Sihyeon died again.
Because the Demon King, thought to be dead, desperately attacked.
Though he’d only turned it back three times, Ruvlian, who’d grown accustomed to the sensation of dying, turned back time again.
This Demon King was strange somewhere. He repeated words like “It’s you. It was you. Make a contract with me.” When his companions felt creeped out by the Demon King’s behavior, Ruvlian Belitent only had the thought that he had to kill before Sihyeon died.
However, Baek Sihyeon died again.
Because of the Demon King’s confidant who spread an epidemic to get revenge on the Demon King.
After the epidemic’s cure was developed, Ruvlian, who confirmed it, turned back time again.
The Demon King kept spouting strange words like before turning back time. “Come to the polluted Rilton Forest. Make a contract with me.” And so on. Ruvlian Belitent quickly killed the Demon King, stayed vigilant of the surroundings, and thoroughly prepared even the epidemic antidote.
Contrary to his determination to succeed this time, Baek Sihyeon died again.
When he’d let down his guard just once in relief that he’d really succeed, an assassin came in. It would be a critical hit, but it was an attack that wouldn’t kill. However, as if it had to be that way, Baek Sihyeon threw his body.
Ruvlian turned back time again.
Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.
He couldn’t count how many times he’d turned it back. Most of the time, Baek Sihyeon lost his life saving him. Whether he kept distance or not, he ultimately threw his body, and even if he stayed close, he threw his body. He didn’t spare his own body. Ruvlian came to realize the emotions of love and hatred simultaneously.
I hate you for saving me even when I tell you not to. I love you for saving me even knowing I’m strong. Contradictory emotions mixed to create love-hate. Ruvlian decided to listen to the Demon King’s words, who only spouted strange things after he turned back time.
Since he said he could grant my wish.
And so, in the world where Baek Sihyeon had died. Ruvlian Belitent met the Demon God in Rilton Forest.
