Young Ruvlian, who didn’t yet have the surname Celton since he wasn’t yet the Master of the Magic Tower and thought he was a commoner, didn’t like the person who appeared after the unusual mana fluctuation he’d felt even before meeting Rian. No, he disliked him to a degree that expression was insufficient. It was dreadful.
He disliked that his entire body was wrapped in mana, disliked the hair and eyes that were the same color as Rian’s, disliked the face that was refined in the same way as Rian’s. Also, he disliked that Rian accepted the action of rubbing his head as if it were familiar. He disliked that he came reeking of blood.
‘He’s definitely a criminal who couldn’t get a decent job.’
Young Ruvlian, who thought that, grasped at every fault he could find about the man who suddenly appeared, as much as possible. He couldn’t imagine in the slightest that the person he dismissed as a criminal was his own future.
Young Ruvlian deliberately didn’t close his eyes and waited until Rian, who seemed to have forgotten him, turned his head. His eyes became moist from a physiological phenomenon.
Though he appeared the same way as the man, Rian was different. He who appeared after the mana and wind spreading centered on one place was withdrawn—he was clean and clear. His jet-black hair took on a subtle brown tint when it received the light occasionally coming through the leaves, and the light brown pupils beneath his orderly eyelashes had a warm hue even though they were under shadow. He was someone who suited warmth.
His heart stirred at the face, and what made his heart surge even more was discovering the affection toward himself within those indifferent eyes. It was different from the old man. It was a more ticklish, warmer feeling he didn’t want to lose.
Though it was certain he was someone he’d seen for the first time today, it was fascinating that he held affection for him. He was excited. Though covered by indifference, it was vivid affection directed at him. Though he recognized he should be wary, his wariness naturally crumbled at the warm affection.
Young Ruvlian wanted to have that affection, different from the somehow angular affection Scalane gave that he’d tasted for the first time. He didn’t want to lose it. That was why. When affection he couldn’t hide faintly spread across his expressionless face, why he obtained a promise not to date someone called ‘Big Celton.’ Why he proposed marriage out of the blue.
‘But, but……!’
Buried in that large embrace, Rian was quietly staring at the person presumed to be Big Celton. He was furious. His chest was tightly squeezed. When he appeared, because he’d glimpsed the emotion that rose on Rian’s face, he couldn’t help but envy the man.
Young Ruvlian’s cheeks became wetly soaked. His eyes were bloodshot, and his lower lip that he’d been chewing had long since turned red. His small clenched hands already had all the strength they could muster in them.
He waited and waited. A few minutes felt like hours. Only young Ruvlian among those present felt that way.
And at the end of that, when Rian turned his head, when their eyes met, young Ruvlian finally closed his eyes. Tears falling in drops wetted the ground.
_oOo_
“Hyeon.”
“Where did the ‘-ah’ attached to the end and the affectionate voice go?”
If not the ‘-ah,’ there had never been an affectionate voice. Whether he had jongi—nonexistent memory—as Park Sichan often spoke of, Ruvlian was spouting nonsense as usual today too.
Since young Ruvlian was crying, there was no way he didn’t know what I’d say, yet he pretended. Ruvlian stopped his hand that had been gently rubbing my hair, then met my gaze and curved his eyes like a delicate small animal. As if he knew nothing.
“Let go.”
“To coax him?”
“You know.”
“Mmm. I know…… Say, Rian. I’m jealous. If I let go, will you give me compensation too?”
I was dumbfounded. It was to coax his young self, yet he’s asking for compensation. Isn’t this pure thief mentality? Even at my gaze like that, Ruvlian didn’t care. He just smiled radiantly like a docile sheep.
“There isn’t any.”
“Really none?”
“……I said there isn’t.”
I wavered for a moment at the pitifully lowered eyelashes, but spoke firmly. Ruvlian released the strength from the arm wrapped around my waist with a face that said it couldn’t be helped.
Since it was enough to escape, I left Ruvlian’s embrace and headed toward the child I’d turned my back to again while conversing with him. When I approached and bent my knees, the child gripped my clothes tightly.
“I hate it.”
“Yeah.”
“……I really hate it.”
More tears fell. His white cheeks reminiscent of rice cakes were dyed red. I could know what he hated without asking. Was there anything more than Ruvlian who suddenly appeared?
“Coax me.”
His voice mixed with crying trembled. He extended the hand not gripping my clothes to me. His relatively short arm stretched out straight.
I took the child into my embrace and carried out in order what the child had said earlier. I made him nestle more in my embrace and patted his small back at a regular rhythm.
Then God made a voice clearly surprised.
[Sihyeon really becomes weak toward his companion Ruvlian. Don’t ordinary humans look at kids like that with, what should I say, fed-up eyes? Or like he’s crazy?]
I too had truly felt the emotion of going crazy because of the child filled with venom, because of the child who stubbornly didn’t close his eyes until I looked back. But what could I do? This child was Ruvlian. It was the childhood of Ruvlian who I’d come to like, who had become my one and only.
I’d known from the start that Ruvlian wasn’t in his right mind. Nevertheless, since I’d come to like him, it was something I had to accept. Of course, we wouldn’t date. Much less would we ever marry.
“This far.”
The presence that had been approaching me stood still, then grasped my waist and lifted me up. My bent knees straightened and my view rose. Fortunately, the child was still held in my embrace.
“What are you doing?”
“Because I’m jealous that you’re smiling like that? I resented it when I was young, but now that I’m here, I understand. I can’t just watch.”
A gentle yet futile sound spread into the air. I couldn’t stop the hollow laugh leaking out at his face that showed he was truly jealous. Even so, my heart beat pleasantly. Ruvlian must be hearing my heartbeat too. There was no way he couldn’t hear it at this distance.
To escape from him, I held the child with one arm and tried to remove the hand embracing my waist with the other arm. Then I gave up at the arm that put in a bit more strength without hurting me. The will that he had no intention of letting go at all was revealed. It was clear that no matter what I did now, this arm wouldn’t release.
“Let go!”
As if in my stead, young Ruvlian shouted shrilly. He tried hard to remove big Ruvlian’s hand with his fern-like small hand. Though I appreciated the sentiment, it was utterly futile.
“Mm. I don’t want to?”
“I said let go!”
“Why?”
Ruvlian, who asked back, pulled me into a slightly deeper embrace. At twenty-one years old, fighting with a young child. And with his own childhood self at that.
“Both of you stop.”
Since there was no sign of the bickering stopping, I mediated. At this rate, we’d be here until dawn.
“He did it first!”
“Anyone can see I’m the one who got hurt. It hurts, Rian.”
Ruvlian deliberately stuck his face out to the side where the child’s face wasn’t and fluttered his eyelashes desolately, then showed me the hand the child had hurt him with. There were nail marks on his straight, white fingers. They were hands that had originally been without a single scar thanks to mostly healing quickly when injured. Though it wasn’t even at the level of calling it a wound, I didn’t feel good. I immediately used divine power to erase the nail marks.
“Thank you.”
Ruvlian closed his eyes as if melting smoothly. His affection he didn’t hide flowed from his eyes. Though it was something I always experienced, only this was difficult to get used to. I pretended to be unconcerned and adjusted my hold on the child.
“And though jealousy is the biggest reason, there’s one more reason I lifted Rian.”
Just as I was waiting for what would come next about what that was. Young Ruvlian hooked his arms around my neck and hugged tightly, then spoke as if suspicious.
“‘Rian’ is a name I gave because he said he didn’t have a name. But you called Rian ‘Rian’ as soon as you came. How did you know?”
“What a coincidence. His original name is Rian.”
Ruvlian, who lied without even wetting his lips, was unperturbed. He even opened his eyes a bit wide as if surprised and slightly parted his small mouth. ……If he’d lived in the modern era, I wondered if he wouldn’t have become an actor or a cult leader. To that degree, his lies were as natural as breathing.
“More than that, you gave him a name? To think you with such good insight would think a person who looks to be in their late teens lived without a name. A child is a child?”
He put a slightly softer and more mature smile on his lips and produced an extremely gentle voice. His intention to make him physically experience the difference between ‘child’ and ‘adult’ was visible. To act like this even to his young self. There seemed to be no one who could beat this ruined personality. Compared to him, young Ruvlian’s burning personality seemed like an angel.
Since I was holding him, I felt the child trembling. It was clearly an appearance of holding back anger.
“Stop it. You said there was one more reason.”
When I changed the subject, Ruvlian smiled unlike someone who had been subtly scratching at the child’s insides until just before.
“We need to go to our temple. As quickly as possible.”
“……Temple?”
I unconsciously asked back at the sudden trip to the temple. Ruvlian, who didn’t add a single explanation, had an expression that understood me like that. Just as I was about to ask the reason, young Ruvlian urgently unwrapped the arms around my neck and gripped my shoulders, pulling his upper body back.
The face that was visible was filled with anxiety. His small lips opened, and a high, clear immature voice flowed out since his voice hadn’t changed yet.
“You’re going? Stay here with me. That place only has feeble bookworms. The old man said it’s boring.”
To the degree that God felt pity, young Ruvlian listed one by one the good points of staying here. Then, perhaps thinking there was nothing more to come out, he urged an answer with an earnest gaze.
I didn’t care either way. When I looked at Ruvlian, he opened his mouth as if he’d been waiting.
“This child comes along too.”
While not hiding that he’d deliberately said it belatedly.
