Yeoul and I had never imprinted. No, more precisely, I’d avoided imprinting. Imprinting was something everyone wanted in that it bound each other to each other, but at the same time, it was also something they didn’t want.
Especially for someone with extreme recessiveness like Yeoul, ‘imprinting’ had absolutely nothing good about it.
You never know what will happen in life. Just like how my omega father suddenly left his family’s side due to an unavoidable accident one day, I too don’t know what I might experience. If we rashly imprinted and I disappeared from the world, I didn’t even want to imagine the pain Yeoul would suffer then.
I could endure it somehow. Because I’m a dominant alpha. Dominant alphas had advantages in everything in life compared to other traits.
Imprinting was the same.
When imprinted, if the other person disappeared, Yeoul, being extremely recessive, would have to live with extreme pain equivalent to death for the rest of his life, but I would only experience less pain than that.
My condition would worsen and I wouldn’t be able to maintain the same quality of life as usual, but there would be no problem living. I could somehow endure it.
They say that the more dominant trait is more disadvantaged in imprinting because they have more to lose, but no, I was just happy that there was more I could give to Yeoul. I was only worried about the pain Yeoul would have to experience in that process.
That’s why I didn’t ask Yeoul to imprint.
I didn’t want to expose my Yeoul to even 1 percent of danger. I didn’t want to see Yeoul hurting because of me.
The reason I didn’t tell him about Yeonwoo hyung’s accident, the reason I didn’t tell him the story of my birth—anyway, I didn’t want to see Yeoul hurting when he heard those stories.
Telling him not to have children was also for Yeoul, whose possibility of having a child converges to 0%, so how could I ask Yeoul to imprint?
But…… I imprinted? Then that means Yeoul could be in danger now too, which is a big problem.
“Um…… that can’t be right. We as a couple have never imprinted……”
“Hmm…… it’s not common, but occasionally imprinting happens naturally without intention. You two must be biologically compatible. Usually in these cases, the influence of the imprint is stronger than intentional imprinting, so it rarely breaks.”
“Naturally……?”
“Yes. That’s why your pheromone levels are going wild like this. But whether this is mutual or one-sided can only be known if your spouse comes in. Where is your husband now?”
My heart started beating rapidly at the doctor’s words.
I was anxious.
Is there a possibility that Yeoul also imprinted? Or maybe not?
“Hoo……”
I took a deep breath. My head was complicated thinking about various possibilities. I didn’t want to imagine the worst, but the worst-case scenario kept coming to mind and my heart beat rapidly. I was getting hot. I didn’t know if this was because of pheromones or anxiety.
“He’s not here. He went somewhere for a bit right now……”
“Then when will he be back? Your pheromone levels are too unstable right now, so if you don’t get a pheromone shower immediately, it’s going to be really difficult for you.”
“……”
The doctor stared at me for a while as I said nothing. But even so, I couldn’t give an answer. Because I wanted to ask when Yeoul would be back too.
“Or at least an emergency artificial pheromone shower……”
“No. I don’t need that.”
I swayed a bit as I stood up. The startled nurse approached to support me, but I waved my hand as if I was fine and left the examination room.
I knew the reason for not feeling well, so that was enough.
There was no way to get better right now. I imprinted on Yeoul? We imprinted? No, maybe it’s just me…… no, I hope it’s just me but…….
“Haha.”
The laugh that leaked from my lips—I didn’t know if it was a laugh or a cry.
It feels like my chest has been ripped open.
Right now when I need Yeoul more than anyone, Yeoul isn’t by my side.
“Han Yeoul, where did you go, really?”
My vision blurred hazily. I sank down on the spot with a thud.
“Seonjae!”
I could hear Uncle Irang running from afar, but I couldn’t stand up. It felt like all the strength in my body was draining out.
“Seonjae. Are you okay?”
“Uncle……”
The uncle’s face I looked up at was distorted. Only then did I realize I was crying. Then, as if the tears had been waiting, they poured out.
“Uncle, huk, Uncle.”
“Seonjae……”
I cried like a little child.
I didn’t care whether people passing by looked or not. I couldn’t control the overflowing tears. Like that, I held onto Uncle and cried for a long time.
“I thought so. I thought you were holding up well.”
“……”
The coffee I received from Uncle was warm. Uncle brought me to a quiet park after I stopped crying, saying there were too many eyes watching.
“It was strange. You’re the kind of guy who couldn’t last a day without Han Yeoul, but you were more intact than I thought.”
“……I was never intact.”
“Right. I’m just saying, that’s all.”
At first, I didn’t want to believe it. That Yeoul had left home.
I thought the talk about divorce was just something he said once. Even though I knew early on that Yeoul wasn’t the kind of person to say such things as a joke, I deliberately ignored his words.
Because if I accepted and acknowledged all of that as reality, it would really become a big problem. Because it would become true that Yeoul really decided to leave me.
But after receiving the divorce papers by registered mail with a stamp on them, I eventually had to accept all these facts as reality.
A divorce I could never agree to.
As soon as I received it, I put the papers away out of sight. I had no intention whatsoever of agreeing to the papers that Han Yeoul had arbitrarily written and stamped.
I absolutely had no intention of breaking up with Han Yeoul without knowing the reason. Moreover, before leaving home, even while saying let’s get divorced, Han Yeoul said:
[I love you.]
He said he loves me, but let’s get divorced.
What kind of nonsense is that? Right, Han Yeoul?
“But what are you going to do?”
“……About what?”
“Trait people have to stay together once they imprint, don’t they?”
Uncle Irang’s sigh is heavy. He’s someone who knows me better than anyone. Uncle Irang knows that I’m not okay at all right now, that I’m in a state where I could collapse with just one trigger.
“But can you imprint even without the person knowing?”
“……”
He asked while scratching his head.
Right. I’d never once thought about us imprinting.
“Much more than I thought—”
“Hm?”
“I must have liked Yeoul much, much more than I thought.”
“……Seonjae.”
Tears welled up again. The tips of my feet that I looked down at became hazy. Tears dripped down drop by drop.
“Uncle, what do I really do?”
“Seonjae……”
“I’m going crazy wanting to see Yeoul.”
“……”
“How can he be this cruel to me? I’ve been searching for him like that, but how have we not run into each other even once? I thought I was really almost there this time……”
“Seonjae……”
“What did I do wrong? What did I do so wrong?”
Uncle says nothing. Only the sound of my sniffling crying buzzed around my ears. Then I started to get anxious.
I only now found out about the imprinting. What if it’s not just me who really imprinted? What if Han Yeoul also imprinted on me?
“Uncle!”
“Yeah?”
“This isn’t the time to be like this!”
Uncle Irang answered with surprised eyes as I suddenly stood up from my seat after crying.
“Yeoul, I need to find Yeoul quickly!”
“Seonjae, calm down. Why all of a sudden? We’re looking for our Yeoul! We’re looking, aren’t we? We’ve been looking until now, and we’ll keep looking. Why are you suddenly doing this after crying?”
“Uncle!”
My chest feels tight. My heart beat faster than when I confirmed I’d imprinted.
“Yeoul!”
“What about Yeoul?”
“What if Yeoul also imprinted!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Yeoul is extremely recessive! If the imprinting wasn’t done intentionally and happened naturally without me knowing, it takes time for symptoms to appear. I only just found out too, but I imprinted when Yeoul was here. What if Yeoul also imprinted?”
“Why are you making such a fuss? Is that such a big problem?”
Uncle Irang asked with a perplexed face.
“I understand you don’t know because you’re not a trait person, but Uncle, we don’t have time to be here. Let’s go.”
“Seonjae?”
I grabbed his hand and ran while saying:
“Uncle, if someone extremely recessive imprints but their partner isn’t nearby, they suffer severe imprinting pain. Not just feeling a bit unwell like me, but pain so severe they could almost die.”
