My insides twisted.
“Ah.”
I found a photo of Yeoul on my phone.
“Have you ever seen someone like this?”
When I showed the screen to the employee, the employee took out glasses and peered at the screen.
“Oh my, that’s the baby daddy.”
“Baby daddy?”
“Yes. When bread deliveries come, that’s the baby daddy who sometimes stops by here. So pretty-looking that I give him a salt bread each time he comes. He really loves salt bread.”
My head spun round and round. Han Yeoul is a baby daddy and loves salt bread?
Is this the Han Yeoul I know?
“He has a child?”
“Ah, hasn’t given birth yet. Was it omega? Those, uh, trait carriers don’t really show much even when they’re pregnant. But the baby daddy’s stomach was showing a little. So I asked. Then he said there’s still a few months left.”
“A few months left…?”
“He must have had a hard time. Until recently, he couldn’t even go out, but oh my, is it really that hard for omegas to give birth?”
Yeoul is… pregnant…
[Seonjae. What if… I got pregnant?]
Come to think of it, shortly before disappearing, Yeoul had asked that. What did I answer to that question?
I thought that for a recessive omega, pregnancy was not a blessing but merely a disease that wore down the body. Thinking even more that Yeoul might experience what my omega father or Professor Yeonwoo went through, I didn’t want Yeoul to get pregnant.
The reason I didn’t knot until the end even during rut was because of the anxiety that Yeoul might get pregnant. Because I’m a dominant alpha. Because of me, Yeoul might go through terrible things he didn’t have to experience, so I wanted to prevent such things in advance.
But in the end, Yeoul wanted it, and even while knotting Yeoul, I deliberately turned away. Right, Yeoul is recessive. There’s no way pregnancy would happen.
I didn’t want to upset Yeoul by giving false hope about something impossible. That’s why I answered without a second’s hesitation.
[We’d have to get rid of it.]
“Hah—”
How did Yeoul feel watching me answer without a moment’s consideration?
At that time, was there already a child in Yeoul’s belly? Did he run away from me to protect that child?
“Professor Yeonwoo…”
Professor Yeonwoo must have known. With trembling hands, I called Professor Yeonwoo. Professor Yeonwoo still didn’t answer the phone.
“Fuck, Professor Yeonwoo!”
Holding the unanswered phone, I spat out curses. I resent him. Even though he knew everything, even though he knew why Yeoul was like that, I resent Professor Yeonwoo for not saying a word to me.
“Seonjae.”
Uncle Irang didn’t know what to do and patted me by my side, then headed outside while making a phone call somewhere. Uncle must be trying to find out about Yeoul’s whereabouts in his own way.
“Haha.”
I felt empty. I felt like I’d cry, but what burst from between my lips wasn’t tears but laughter.
How did Professor Yeonwoo feel watching me run around like a madman searching for Yeoul like that? How could he do that? At least… if he thought of me as a younger brother, shouldn’t he not do this to me? Even thinking about my second brother…
Ah, is that why?
That’s why. Because I ruined everything. Because he lost his child because of me, that’s why he deliberately didn’t tell me.
“Ah… it’s all my fault.”
For the first time in my life, I wanted to die.
[Hello.]
At the voice heard through the phone, my heart began to pound as if it would burst. It’s a voice I’m hearing after almost half a year. The voice of my omega, whom I’d never been separated from for so long in my life. I thought I’d just be happy…
[Hello?]
I can’t say anything. I’m not okay enough to readily say hello to Yeoul’s ‘now,’ which is as unfamiliar as the unfamiliar number.
[Um… if you have nothing to say, I’ll hang—]
“Yeoul!”
I barely caught Yeoul, who was about to just hang up.
It was a number I’d found with difficulty.
After leaving the women’s hospital, we headed to Hyohyo Bakery. Since the name Hyohyo Bakery appeared again in Yeoul’s last whereabouts, I couldn’t just pass by.
Kim Yeonghyo, who greeted us at the factory as if he’d been waiting, no longer had that crooked attitude from before and was the image of a friendly young boss. The alpha pheromones that had unpleasantly crept around me were also perfectly controlled.
When I asked about Yeoul’s whereabouts once more, Kim Yeonghyo silently handed over a number. I intuited it was Yeoul’s number, but I didn’t question Kim Yeonghyo about why he didn’t tell me even though he knew. It was because of what Kim Yeonghyo said to me first, as if throwing it at me.
“When an alpha gets close, he suffers. So I couldn’t meet Yeoul directly either. You asked if I’d seen him recently. I just answered honestly.”
I was dumbfounded. He must have known that’s not what I meant when I asked, yet he took it literally and said that? Well. As he said, he doesn’t need to tell me everything, so it’s hard to blame him.
Anyway, he suffers when an alpha gets close. Did Yeoul perhaps imprint on me too? So he can’t stand other alphas’ pheromones? Or is it because of the pregnancy?
Whatever it was, all I could think was that I needed to bring Yeoul back quickly.
He’s recessive. I became increasingly anxious, thinking that if something went wrong, Yeoul could be in danger.
“Yeoul. It’s me… Seonjae.”
[……]
Yeoul didn’t answer. My insides burned. I wanted to go right now to where Yeoul was and bring him back, but I shouldn’t do anything that would stress Yeoul out right now.
Even though he goes out occasionally now, he still needs to stabilize more. If I press him and Yeoul disappears again, that won’t do, so I tried my best to calm my raging heart.
Even so, the time spent just waiting for Yeoul’s answer without saying anything made me feel infinitely small.
“Yeoul…”
[Um…]
At the word Yeoul finally spoke hesitantly after opening his mouth, I sucked in a breath. My palms grew cold from the unconsciously increasing nervous feelings.
[I think it would be good to meet.]
“Let’s meet. Let’s meet, Yeoul!”
[Uh, where—]
“I’ll, I’ll come. Anywhere, tell me a place that’s comfortable for you. I’ll come.”
[Ah…]
Yeoul hesitated and said he’d send the address via message, then hung up. My heart beat crazily fast. I thought he’d hang up without saying anything, but Yeoul says let’s meet. Let’s meet…
“Uncle.”
Uncle Irang, who was beside me, looked at me with a curious face as if asking how it went.
“Yeoul says let’s meet.”
“Seonjae! Right, you have to meet. You have to meet.”
“Uh… I’m meeting him right now. But how do I look? Is it weird?”
I stood in front of Uncle and raised both arms and turned around once. My appearance should be fine since I came from the office, but I became anxious thinking my appearance might be terrible since I haven’t been living properly lately. What if Yeoul turns his head away seeing my face like this?
“Handsome. Handsome as always, Seonjae. Don’t worry. Yeoul will be happy to see you.”
“…Will he be happy?”
He’s a child who ran away avoiding me—will he be happy to see me because I found him?
“Of course. Yeoul must have had his circumstances. Meet and talk first. Why he did that, what happened.”
Right. Meet and talk, no, actually, it doesn’t matter. I just need Yeoul. If Yeoul just comes back to me, I can endure anything. I’m confident I can do everything Yeoul asks me to do. No, I will do it.
Hoo— I steadied my breath. I took the medicine I was prescribed recently. I worried what if Yeoul dislikes it because my pheromones are too strong. He’s not alone now—if he’s stimulated by pheromones and something bad happens…
No. Don’t get scared in advance. Let’s meet Yeoul first. I’m meeting him.
“Uncle.”
“Yeah?”
I smiled brightly at Uncle, who was preparing to follow along.
“I’ll go alone and come back.”
“Seonjae. Will you be okay?”
“What about?”
“No, but just in case—”
“…What could not be okay? I’m okay. And I have to be okay.”
Right. I have to be okay. If I’m okay, if I’m fine, then Yeoul is okay too. A recessive omega alone, carrying a child and holding onto it in his belly until now. Not receiving someone’s devoted care, but entirely alone.
Something hot kept rising in my throat, so I opened my eyes wide several times and took deep breaths.
It’s all because of me. If I hadn’t said such things, Yeoul would have been by my side.
[We’d have to get rid of it.]
Even knowing the baby in his belly was in danger, for himself and the child he decided to be responsible for until the end, what Yeoul chose was to abandon me. So I must endure everything with a thoroughly subordinate attitude.
