Having successfully infiltrated, Deus headed to the bustling marketplace. Since they were a clan that minimized the influx of external goods and maintained their livelihood through self-sufficiency, unfamiliar and diverse kinds of items he’d never seen before were displayed at every street stall.
Irritation filled Deus’s eyes as he mixed into the noisy crowd. Just watching the laughing and chattering faces somehow drained his energy.
‘What makes them so happy?’
In principle, creations made in the Void couldn’t be brought outside, but there was exactly one thing he’d brought out. That was a terrible sense of powerlessness.
Being able to create anything also meant being able to destroy anything. While repeating the act of destroying what he’d painstakingly created, making it again, and destroying it, Deus felt a motion sickness-like nihilism. It felt like becoming an ant circling the same place following circular pheromones.
Around the time when he thought dying would be better than enduring this boredom any longer, Ash appeared. And calmly said.
<This world is no longer needed. I’ll give you another world you can love.>
The only reason he escaped the Void without dying was just that. Because he had a faint hope that perhaps he really could love the world that child would show him.
However, the outside world was just as nihilistic as the Void, and it wasn’t much different in how he felt like an outsider who couldn’t fit in anywhere.
‘What makes them so happy?’
Deus’s gaze as he stood expressionlessly fixed on a father wiping away his crying child’s tears. To him, who had a beloved child, this world would be a world quite worth loving.
Was that why? Deus felt as if he was reproaching him. It also seemed like he was mocking himself, who ultimately couldn’t properly love anything. Deus, who approached the man, extended his blood-soaked hand.
‘What’s so…’
Having a world to love was difficult, but destroying the world someone loved was easy. He thought perhaps he was born for that purpose. If not, this indescribable murderous intent and rage couldn’t be explained.
The moment he was about to strangle the man’s neck, someone grabbed his sleeve.
“Young man, come over here. I’ll give you good items from the East cheaply.”
Deus slowly turned his head. An old woman with both eyes faded white was looking at him and smiling. At the same time, the man holding the child who had stopped crying moved away.
‘Lucky.’
It was only for a moment that he wore a deflated expression before Deus obediently turned and stood in front of the street stall. It was to check the items the old woman was selling. Deus, who had been quietly looking down at the stand piled high with wild vegetables and berries like a mountain, frowned and muttered.
“I trust you didn’t stop me just to show me this crap.”
The old woman, who had been chuckling at Deus’s words, pulled out a wooden box. When she opened the wooden box, colorful accessories revealed themselves. The old woman, who picked up a necklace with a water-colored gem embedded in it, spoke.
“This gem’s name is Shamir, which means ‘the only one’ in Kuroro. Red Shamir is common, but water-colored Shamir is treated as precious among the Kuroro people. Not only is the meaning beautiful, but it’s rare, so it’s an item especially loved by young wives.”
“…”
“If you have a wife waiting at home, how about giving it as a gift?”
The water-colored gem resembling Ash’s eye color sparkled beautifully. Deus, who had been making an indifferent expression, let out a sigh. No matter how much of a layman he was regarding gems, he could tell it was a gem significantly inferior in quality compared to the gems he’d seen at the imperial palace.
The other party was Ash, who hated him terribly. There was no way he could receive Ash’s attention with such a shabby necklace.
‘It’s just a sparkling stone.’
Deus, who had judged it a useless item, turned his body. Useless and futile. Probably even if a lifetime passed, he certainly wouldn’t be able to understand those who bought necklaces like that with money. A voice mixed with tears passed by Deus’s ears as he walked with dignity.
<You scare me.>
Deus, who had stopped in place, turned his head. Women of the ant clan were gathered in small groups in front of the stall he’d just been looking at. One of the women lingering in front of the old woman’s stall pulled back the cloth covering her face. Then, upon discovering the water-colored necklace the old woman had shown, she smiled brightly.
<I can’t like you. Because if I’m with you, I’ll have to live my whole life trembling like this.>
Deus, who had hesitated at that smile, tightly gripped the paperweight he’d put in his robe pocket. He thought that perhaps Ash, who had received this paperweight as a gift from Kiss, had also smiled that brightly.
That sight felt distantly far away. Unlike himself, who lived hiding in shadows, those two were definitely in the sunny place. And definitely, there was no place for him in that world.
That made him sad and angry. That was also the reason he’d pretended not to notice Ash being bullied by his brothers. All the emotions related to Ash were unrefined, so he’d believed that not encountering him at all was the way to hurt Ash less.
‘I know this has no meaning whatsoever. But…’
Deus, who had pushed through the crowd and returned to the old woman, pulled out a bag of gold coins from his bosom and tossed it. Then he snatched the necklace from the hands of the brightly smiling woman.
‘I want to go there too.’
Deus, who had been indifferently looking at the woman staring up at him while terrified, turned his body again. The water-colored necklace sparkled meaninglessly in his hand. He’d lived a lifetime in nihilism, desiring nothing. The first desire he’d ever had pulsed small in his hand.
‘I want to go to the bright place where you are too.’
* * *
The ant clan wasn’t originally a people who lived in the Elion Empire. If you crossed the vast Elion coast and went east, there existed a place called Kuroro Island where a minority of insect beastmen gathered.
However, some insect beastmen who noticed that the island was gradually being submerged in water as sea levels rose attempted to migrate, forming the current ant nest.
Of course, the Empire didn’t accept them without any thought either. In exchange for insisting on their culture in the invisible underground world, they were supplying high-quality minerals and gems to the Elion Empire with their own mining secrets.
Therefore, although the ant clan were subjects of the Empire in terms of status, they often defined themselves as ‘Kuroro people’ rather than ‘imperial subjects.’ In fact, their appearance and customs were completely different from imperial subjects, with a strong Eastern feel.
“This is the list of betrothal gifts personally selected by Narikeh-nim.”
I made a distasteful expression while looking at the treasures and silk piled up like a mountain on one side of the room. When I first entered this room, I’d wondered why they’d left the room so empty, but I soon understood the reason. It was because glittering gold and treasures filled one side of the room under the pretext of betrothal gifts.
Silkworm moths like cotton balls that the Kuroro people raised as pets, moonlight silkworm silk that sparkled with different light at every angle, and even the hide of a dark dragon that was worth whatever price you asked.
True to Narikeh, who lived for his own arrogance, it seemed he thought the betrothal gifts also couldn’t be done shabbily. The woman prostrated with her head bowed before me continued her explanation in a gentle tone.
“Narikeh-nim said that the companion may check directly, and if there’s anything needed, you may request it from me separately. Please speak of anything without hesitation.”
“No, I don’t need more of that stuff. Could I just take off this hat? I can’t see well in front.”
“I apologize, but removing the companion’s hamak is not permitted to anyone except Narikeh-nim.”
So the name of this heavy hat covered in dangling jewels is hamak. I let out a sigh and tilted my heavy head back. After Narikeh left the room to perform the final ritual before the enthronement ceremony, the women who rushed in en masse took me to the bathhouse.
No matter how much Narikeh treated me as a female, I absolutely hated receiving bathing service from female attendants, so I insisted I could do it alone.
Thanks to that, I could barely bathe alone. But because Kuroro wedding clothes required wearing multiple layers of cloth, I ultimately had to receive help when putting on the wedding clothes. But aside from the heavy clothes that dragged on the floor, it was extremely inconvenient having to wear cloth that almost completely blocked my vision.
‘But I definitely can’t run away wearing clothes like these.’
Even if I ran away, the clothes were so flashy they’d stand out wherever I went, so they couldn’t help but be inconvenient in many ways. I let out a sigh and slightly lifted up the cloth blocking my vision.
Then I checked the condition of the woman with her head bowed before me. Perhaps she lived getting beaten even normally for stepping on shadows—her slightly exposed wrists and nape were mottled. The contents of the original work flashed through my mind.
“Will you really get me anything I want?”
The woman, who had hesitated, nodded her head. I opened my mouth with a satisfied smile.
