For some reason, my face felt hot. It was because I’d noticed my true feelings that I’d been denying all along.
Even knowing that my relationship with Deus could never return to what it was before, I’d thought the reason Deus was keeping his distance from me was simply because he’d gotten busy. No, I’d believed that. Because I didn’t want to admit it.
‘It’s also true that I was somewhat happy when I was with him.’
Like escaping the Void together. Or watching the fireworks festival together. Of course, there was also the time he tried to drip candle wax on my sleeping eyes, tried to cut off my balls, threatened to feed me insect jelly for stag beetles if I didn’t kiss him right away. Or the time he stuck his dick in me while I was sleeping and pissed because going to the bathroom was too much trouble… My expression gradually darkened as I reminisced about the things that happened with Deus.
‘…Huh? Was it happy?’
He’s just a fucking bastard, isn’t he? Wouldn’t it be fine to never see him for the rest of my life? The bit of happiness I felt was probably that. To prevent the owner from committing suicide from stress, my brain must have been pumping out dopamine like crazy.
My momentarily gloomy mood became fine as if nothing had happened. Baron and the twins hesitated at my appearance, suddenly laughing out loud with a “hahaha” after getting hit.
“Why are you laughing?”
“No, it’s nothing…”
“……”
“Your strength isn’t what it used to be, hyung. I’ve gotten tougher lately, so getting hit half-heartedly doesn’t satisfy me anymore.”
I observed Baron’s expression while kneeling. Baron, raised as the next family head of House Serpent, was a young master who’d grown up pampered. He always thought he should speak and act according to his position, and consciously avoided deviating from the right path.
‘The reason he couldn’t accept Ash, an out-of-spec existence, was probably also that.’
The method to make an elegantly raised young master uncomfortable was simple. It was to deviate from the right path, from common sense. I rubbed my cheek against Baron’s hand, which was still clenched in a fist.
“You could hit me more roughly, you know. I actually prefer that more…”
I barely held back the burst of laughter at Baron’s face freezing in real-time. Was it because I’d only been harassed until now? Just harassing someone gave me a strange sense of satisfaction. Unlike the twin brothers frozen in shock, I delivered the final blow toward Baron, who was glaring at me with veins bulging in his neck.
“I’m getting turned on.”
If I couldn’t fight back, I at least had to chip away at his mental strength to break even. Baron, who had been looking down at me with cold eyes, roughly pulled his hand away. Then he muttered while turning his body as if I wasn’t worth dealing with.
“We’ll see how long you can act so brazenly.”
“I think there’s a family banquet coming up soon. I’ll greet you again then.”
At Baron’s action of leaving the stable without answering, the twin brothers also followed out. The moment the Serpent brothers disappeared from view, I familiarly dusted off my pants and stood up.
‘His temperament is consistently the same. Who would’ve thought he’d resort to violence even in the imperial palace?’
It was a passage that showed how much Ash had lived getting beaten. Either way, Kiss’s horse, which didn’t eat the drug thanks to me, neighed in relief.
‘Somehow I feel like I’ve only done good things for Kiss unintentionally.’
In the original, Kiss gets seriously injured after falling from a horse that’s rampaging from being drugged. Because of that injury, he can’t save his fiancée who gets kidnapped, and in the end, Erina is murdered and returns as a cold corpse.
Kiss is always rational, but he wasn’t a tin can without emotions. The guilt of not being able to protect Erina even though he was there together remains as great remorse for Kiss later. Kiss was a perfectionist who couldn’t acknowledge others’ incompetence or his own.
‘Even as a reader, I liked that about Kiss. That he was strict with others and himself.’
As an avid reader of FluffyChron, what I could confidently say was that Kiss never lived life carelessly for even a single moment. What particularly impressed me was the answer Kiss gave to a supporting character’s question about why he was so mean and persistent to his enemies.
[Just go outside the imperial palace. Someone steals to survive, kills people, sells their children. I don’t want to act nobly alone in that hellscape. That’s not courtesy toward them.]
[…….]
[A deer must run with all its might to survive. A lion must chase with all its might. That’s the way of life I’ve decided.]
The memory from the storage room surfaced in my mind again. The emotion I’d felt at Kiss’s words that a life that doesn’t hurt anything is rather cowardly was relief. In the end, my blocking Baron was repayment for the comfort he’d given me. I’d definitely received great comfort from Kiss’s words then.
‘Well, Kiss probably doesn’t even know I thought of him.’
The sound of a trumpet announcing the start of the hunting festival echoed from afar. The moment I heard the majestic sound that seemed to shake heaven and earth, I clenched my fists. Even though I’d definitely steeled my resolve, my heart was pounding.
‘The hunting festival has begun.’
* * *
The hunting festival was held in Erdain Forest. This was an imperial hunting preserve that only the imperial family could use, a sacred space that no one could freely enter or exit except during the hunting festival. When Lucius learned the news that I was attending the hunting festival, he sent something the very next day.
It was hunting clothes that looked expensive at a glance and a bow with the family seal engraved on it. Lucius’s tear-stained letter begging me to please come home and show my face was a bonus.
Well, it’s about time I should show my face. Just as I was thinking I should stop by the main house soon, I heard a familiar voice.
“Fine feathers make fine birds.”
I casually turned my head. Kiss, who I didn’t know when he’d been behind me, stood there with a gentle smile. Unlike usual when he always wore a uniform, Kiss in hunting clothes gave off a somewhat wild atmosphere. Kiss’s white horse brought its nose to my cheek as if greeting me. I stroked the white horse’s forehead and said.
“Thank you for last time.”
“……”
“I didn’t think you’d help me.”
“Help? Me?”
At Kiss’s reaction, which seemed genuinely puzzled, I became even more puzzled instead. Just as I was thinking, don’t tell me he forgot what happened in the storage room, Kiss let out a contemplative sound as if belatedly remembering and said.
“I originally get aroused down there just from seeing someone terrified. I’ve been busy lately and haven’t relieved myself. I just used you while I was at it.”
“What’s the problem? What’s the problem? Why is your personality like that?”
At my appearance snapping back in a choked voice, Kiss laughed out loud with a “haha.” I hesitated at that laugh and turned my gaze away. My heart stirred strangely again. Since I had something to ask Kiss anyway, I was about to throw out the question while we’d run into each other, when I felt a creepy gaze from somewhere.
‘What is it?’
Just as I was turning my head to check the source of the creepy gaze, a familiar voice pierced my ear.
“Young Master Ash, it’s been a while since the ball.”
Erina, who had neatly tied her hair up, smiled brightly. Looking at Erina like that, I also smiled awkwardly.
To think she’d speak to me so freely even after doing such a thing to me—as expected, it was the shamelessness befitting the fiancée Kiss had chosen. Erina, who stood blocking between Kiss and me, opened her mouth.
“Are you also participating in today’s hunting festival, Young Master Ash?”
“Yes, I’m quite nervous since it’s my first time participating.”
“Your first hunting festival. It won’t be easy to go around alone. If need be, I can lend you the hunting attendant I brought.”
Unlike her kind voice, the intention implied in her words was quite cold. It meant to stop clinging to her fiancé and get lost.
Just as I was admiring the noble lady’s speech style, I glanced and observed Erina’s appearance. Her natural makeup, her carefully styled hair that didn’t show the effort put into it. The way she covered her mouth while laughing. Certainly, the appearance of a girl in love was cute.
‘Locking me up was a bit spiteful, but still, she probably didn’t know I had claustrophobia. Should I give some mitigating circumstances?’
Of course, even if she’d known I had claustrophobia, the situation probably wouldn’t have changed much. Looking at Erina, who was smiling brightly as if asking why I wasn’t leaving quickly, I smiled.
‘Come to think of it, Erina was a parrot clan beastman.’
A video I’d once seen on the internet came to mind. It was a video of a parrot furiously pecking at the hand of an owner who was petting another parrot. At my appearance barely holding back laughter, Erina made a puzzled expression.
‘Normally I would’ve backed off around now, but…’
Knowing there’d be nothing good from being disliked by a possessive young lady, if it were the usual me, I would’ve left quickly when told to leave. But still, I wanted to pay back what I’d received.
Erina, who had been watching Kiss’s reaction, soon made an anxious expression. She seemed worried I’d obliviously intrude between her and Kiss. Toward her, I spoke with an innocent smile, pretending to be oblivious.
“Mmm, no. Being alone is lonely after all. I’d like to enjoy the hunting festival together with you two.”
