“I want to die by your hand.”
The eerie words left me frozen for just a moment before something unusual caught my eye. It was an unknown black stain spreading across Deus’s arm. Not content with covering just one arm, the black stain had spread all the way to his nape, and my hand unconsciously reached toward it. Reading my surprised expression, Deus said brazenly:
“Your touch feels rather suggestive.”
“What is this?”
“Hm? Oh, this. It’s a stain from not washing. If you put spit on it, it’ll come off.”
“That’s disgusting…”
Just as I was making a contempt-filled expression, Deus tilted his head as if telling me to try it, and I unconsciously moistened my thumb with saliva. Then with a serious expression, I vigorously rubbed at the veined forearm. But after rubbing and rubbing with no sign of the stain disappearing, I fell silent before shouting in a choked voice:
“It’s not coming off!”
“Haha…”
I clenched my fists as I watched Deus laugh, thinking ‘I really believed you, idiot, Ash is stupid. His intelligence level is worse than a sow’s. I want to turn him into boiled pork.’ If Kiss was blatantly nasty, Death was blatantly bizarre. Even Dr. Freud, who devoted his life to psychology, would surely return to square one if he saw this bastard. Deus pulled me into a tight embrace as I fumed and rubbed his face against my back.
“It’s because of the Dark Magic. Even for someone like me, I can’t prevent getting addicted to it.”
“…”
“But Ash is more intact than I thought. You struggled a bit at first though.”
“I’m not intact at all.”
I mean I’m at my limit both physically and mentally. I sighed at Deus’s actions, which instead of pulling away when I pushed his arm, only made him cling to me more stickily. Deus rested his chin on my shoulder and naturally slipped his hand between my legs, kneading my inner thigh as he whispered:
“Did you feel good kissing the person you love?”
“…”
“If I kill Kiss, will you hate me?”
I froze for a moment at Deus’s words. There was one reason I had tried to prevent their clash. The moment Kiss died, my method of killing Death and escaping this Void would disappear. But since Death had obediently said he wanted to die by my hand, I no longer needed Kiss.
‘If Kiss dies, I’ll be able to avoid Ash’s bad ending too.’
Kiss was the protagonist of FluffyChron, which I loved dearly. At the same time, he was also Ash’s most powerful enemy. Using Death to eliminate Kiss might be far more advantageous for my survival.
‘But…’
I wanted to tell him to kill Kiss right away, but somehow my mouth wouldn’t open. It was because I knew all about Kiss’s unfortunate past. When I was a reader, I had cheered more than anyone for Kiss to become king, but to kill Kiss off just to save myself was still…
‘Yes of course, dammit!’
Being sad that a protagonist from a novel I liked dies is one thing, but with my life on the line, if Death would kill Kiss for me, there was no need to recruit this psychopath as an ally. After Kiss died, I just needed to find and stab Death’s heart, then leisurely escape this Void by myself.
The FluffyChron Avid Readers Association would condemn me saying, ‘You selfish bastard! Killing off all the main characters in the novel to survive alone, and you call yourself a FluffyChron fan?!’ but I had something to say too.
Shut your mouth. This side is risking their life here. Unlike Deus, my life doesn’t infinitely refill like premium galbi, so if I die, it’s really the end!
After steeling my resolve, I turned to look at Deus. Just as I was about to tell him to go wild as he pleased, Deus added in a sullen voice:
“I guess it won’t work after all, right? Since Ash loves Kiss. If I kill him, you’ll definitely hate me…”
“Actually, as of yesterday, I’ve started to dislike Kiss.”
A moment of silence passed. Deus, who had been quiet, burst into laughter as if amused.
“So the saying about beautiful people being fickle is true after all. Why?”
“Yesterday I saw Kiss’s nipples and they were blacker than I thought. So my fantasy was shattered.”
“Aha.”
“And Kiss doesn’t even like me. If I can’t have him, I want to destroy him.”
I was too busy keeping my thighs together to actually see Kiss’s nipple color, but whatever. The important thing was making Deus attack Kiss. You could call it a strategy of catching barbarians with barbarians.
“I understand, I understand completely.”
Deus empathized in a soulless voice. While I let my guard down at the sensible response, Deus’s hand sneakily slipped inside my clothes, and I grabbed it and pulled it out. Far from being embarrassed, he showed the quick reflexes to interlock his fingers with mine, making me lose my fighting spirit for a moment before I spoke softly to the grinning Deus:
“Let’s set up some kind of code between us.”
“A code?”
“Yeah, when I shout ‘Down with Kiss!’, you attack Kiss. Got it?”
A glittering madness flashed momentarily in Deus’s previously murky eyes. Deus, who had pulled my hand to press a firm kiss on the back of it, met my gaze.
“You know, I’ve killed everyone who’s made trivial requests of me until now. Save me, forgive me—I absolutely hate bastards who throw around such boring requests.”
“…”
“But a request to kill the man you love?”
My eyes widened at the black tiger ears that perked up sharply above Deus’s head. The tail swishing and tapping against my waist was a bonus. Deus made a groaning sound and squirmed as he said:
“I feel like I’m going into heat even though it’s not mating season…”
I tried hard to maintain my composure and made a vow. A vow that someday I would TNR all these beast bastards. For some reason excited, just as Deus firmly grabbed my buttocks—
Creak.
At the sound of the door opening, both Deus’s and my heads turned simultaneously, entangled like vegetable tempura. Kiss, who had been looking down at us both expressionlessly, spoke with a subtle smile:
“What are you two doing?”
* * *
In the silence, my gaze went to the sack Kiss was holding.
“What’s that?”
“When I went further into the forest, it was teeming with Scorpions, so I wondered if they might be edible and caught some.”
Scorpion—a scorpion-type monster with a vicious appearance. It was also a monster that no one with normal thinking would consider eating. I pushed away Deus’s cheek pressed against me and sat up straight. Even after running into Deus, Kiss’s reaction was calmer than expected, making me unnecessarily self-conscious.
“Don’t worry, I’m too hungry to be in a fighting mood right now.”
“…”
“Deus, have you eaten?”
It was the friendly tone of a model class president, the kind every class has one of. Deus seemed just as bewildered and shook his head slightly. Kiss approached the fireplace and pulled out dressed Scorpions from the sack. Then he took out several cylindrical somethings from his robe’s inner pocket. As he cut butter onto the exposed Scorpion flesh and even sprinkled salt, Kiss said matter-of-factly:
“I always carry basic seasonings in case of unforeseen circumstances.”
“…”
“Because starving is scarier to me than dying…”
Deus, who had been quietly watching Kiss calmly explain his culinary philosophy, whispered:
“Ash, he’s kind of weird.”
“You’re not one to talk.”
How much time had passed? A Scorpion dish appeared that I never imagined could be edible in this barren Void. At a glance, it looked delicious enough to resemble a lobster dish. Deus, who had been resting his chin and looking down at the dish with an indifferent face, asked a question:
“But don’t Scorpions have poison?”
“You just remove the poison sac first before killing it.”
“What if you deliberately didn’t remove it?”
“No, I don’t mess around with food. Eating is a sacred act.”
Looking at their expressions alone, it seemed like a summit between two nations’ leaders, but somehow the conversation was utterly shabby. Having finished speaking, Kiss silently put the dish he’d made into his mouth.
Deus, who had been staring intently at that sight, also picked up a piece of Scorpion. And took a bite of the well-cooked meat. Then he muttered in a voice filled with emotion:
“It’s more delicious than a sow…”
“Right? Here, Ash.”
Kiss handed the well-cooked leg portion toward frozen me. I inadvertently took the leg and examined Kiss’s complexion. That face, impossible to read, smiled brightly.
Only after confirming Kiss was eating did I take a bite. The rich butter aroma and ultimate umami flavor swept through my mouth. Kiss looked fondly at me and Deus continuing our meal in deep emotion and said:
“You both eat so well, it’s nice to see.”
What is this? I had clearly planned to kill Kiss and leisurely escape this Void alone, so why when I came to my senses was I eating food Kiss had prepared? Kiss turned his head toward Deus, who seemed to be in a much better mood after eating delicious food, and asked in a gentle voice:
“So, where did you hide your heart?”
I knew it. There’s no way that nasty Kiss would prepare such a meal for our benefit. I shot Deus a silent look that he absolutely must not answer. Deus, receiving my desperate gaze, winked one eye as if he understood. Then he answered in a voice completely devoid of intelligence:
“In the sea.”
What an idiot.
It was my mistake to believe without doubt that even an idiot would catch on to at least this much. Deus had far lower intelligence than I expected. Unlike frozen me, a smile spread across Kiss’s face. Having finished eating the meat and even crunching on the Scorpion shell, Deus added reluctantly:
“Technically speaking, I didn’t hide my heart, I traded it.”
“…Traded?”
“That bastard stole and ate one of my most cherished sows, so in exchange for returning it, he demanded my heart.”
To think he offered up his heart for the sake of a mere pot-bellied old man. Kiss asked in a sunken voice:
“The name of the one you traded with?”
“I don’t know the name, but I definitely remember he was an exceptionally irritating bastard.”
Deus narrowed his eyes as if recalling the memory and snapped his fingers as if he’d finally remembered. At Deus’s following words, both Kiss’s and my expressions stiffened simultaneously.
“He was really full of himself, saying he was the sixth Guardian of the Primordial Evil.”
