If something is a living being, each breathes in their own way. The process of breathing in and breathing out was proof of being alive. Something alive, something where death exists, a living creature. Breathing was, above all… a fundamental element proving one’s humanity.
“My breath…”
Since when had I stopped breathing? If I’m not breathing, why wasn’t I feeling suffocated? Why was I moving around like nothing was wrong? Shouldn’t that be impossible?
I’m… a monster…
“O-Orma-nim? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
When he blankly raised his head, his eyes met with a flustered Jaena. Orma stared at him silently without responding. That small body slowly rose and fell at regular intervals. Inhaling, exhaling… breathing like that.
But why me? Why? Why?
Orma couldn’t quite understand and just blinked his eyes. The sudden change was bewildering and couldn’t be fully accepted at the same time.
“…Jaena-ssi, please get up right now and prevent anyone from coming near this area or near the house where I was resting.”
Ban’s calm voice came from beside him. So Jaena thought it was nothing serious. Until he found the fear on Ban’s face, which had stiffened and turned pale white.
“Orma-nim…”
Ban’s voice calling him trembled. Ridiculously, Ban was even more flustered than Orma himself. The fingertips he finally extended, not knowing what to do, trembled violently. However, Orma couldn’t even think to grasp that hand and just stared blankly at Ban.
“Ban.”
I’m not breathing. But I’m perfectly fine. Nothing’s wrong at all. And… I don’t even know how to breathe anymore. How was I supposed to do it again?
I had done it naturally, without thinking, all this time. Why suddenly now? Could it be that I’ve finally died? Or perhaps…
“…Is this a nightmare?”
Suddenly everything around him felt unreal. Right, right. This must be a nightmare…
“What are you doing, Jaena-ssi? Move quickly!”
When Ban shouted abruptly, Jaena finally scrambled up and moved. Just as Ban had said, he kept the snake tribe members who were looking this way at the loud noise from coming anywhere near. It was such a vivid sense of foreboding that even the incredibly dull Jaena could feel it.
No, perhaps it was an instinct as a beast. The sense that staying here would be dangerous. Jaena ran like that, leaving Ban alone behind.
“Orma-nim, please snap out of it. It’ll be… nothing serious.”
“Nothing serious?”
“…It’s probably a temporary phenomenon. I’ll… I’ll find a way.”
Ban’s words, spoken in a trembling voice saying he would do his best to make him ‘normal’ again somehow, rather awakened Orma to his condition. The breath that leaked out along with it and remained uncontrolled was frail.
Orma, who had been quietly watching those weak inhalations and exhalations, had to acknowledge his condition.
I see, so my not breathing right now isn’t a dream. I’ve… stopped being human.
…Why?
“Orma-nim!”
Ban called his name like a scream. Yet Orma didn’t know how to release the strength from the hand he’d placed on his neck.
How can I breathe again? How can I become human again?
Fixated on that thought, he began to scratch down his neck roughly. In his anxiety and unease, he unknowingly repeated scratching as if to break it, and his fingers, full of strength, dug into his neck and even went inside.
Ah, this is a mistake. If there’s a hole, I won’t be able to breathe even more.
The moment he pulled his finger out with that thought, blood spurted out like a fountain through the gap. As soon as it left messy marks on his hands, arms, and even the table, his monstrous body became clean in an instant as if nothing had happened.
…Fuck, this won’t do. Humans can’t recover like this, right?
Orma frowned sharply and simply raised his hand to cover his neck and snapped it with force. Along with the vivid pain of his neck bones dislocating, his head tried to fall limply to the side, unable to bear its weight, then reattached. If this were before, he would have been busy coughing up breath and gasping for air during the recovery process, but nothing came out of his mouth.
Now I can’t even imitate it like an idiot. Then there’s no choice…
“Orma-nim, please…!”
Ban hugged him, grasping both his arms as if to stop him. His face, pale and at a loss, was pitiful enough to want to comfort immediately.
…Ah. It’s okay, it’s okay, Ban. If I strangle my neck a bit, I’ll struggle wanting to breathe, then I’ll breathe, right? But I can’t control my strength. I might pierce through or break my neck completely again.
Orma thought that way and pulled his shadow toward him. The shadow that slowly swelled up from his feet began to transform into the shape of a terrifying weapon again at its master’s command.
Should I just tear off my neck completely? Ah, no… then I’ll just stupidly come back to life again. I just want to breathe a little.
Right, let’s just strangle my neck a bit. What if that still doesn’t work? Should I stab my chest? I’ll stab my lungs and make them bleed to snap me out of it.
Aha, maybe my lungs broke and that’s why this is happening. Right, let’s just cut them out completely. That would be best. If those stupid organs can’t even do their job, why are they still attached? It feels even more disgusting, like they’re trying to imitate being human…
“N-no… Don’t do it, please. Orma-nim, please don’t do this, okay?”
No matter how much Ban pleaded desperately, his words didn’t seem to reach Orma. As if everything visible around him was bothersome, his shadow lashed out and destroyed things with loud, noisy rupturing sounds. Even in the midst of this, Orma left only Ban, who was clinging to him, alone.
Whether that was his last bit of patience, or whether he wanted to prove to Ban that he hadn’t yet become a complete God and feel reassured, Ban clung on with all his might.
Ah, but in the end, he couldn’t stop his God’s rampage.
The shadow, as if with a sharp blue blade, deftly avoided Ban and pierced through Orma’s chest. A chilling sound came of flesh tearing and bones splitting with a thunk.
Soon bright red, warm blood splattered on Ban’s face. Trembling, when he raised his head, Orma wiped Ban’s cheek with a troubled smile as if in difficulty.
“Move back a bit, the blood’s splattering.”
“Orma-nim…”
“If I stab my lungs a few times, I’ll snap out of it.”
It was absurd. Ban knew it and Orma knew it too. A body that had changed once didn’t go back.
It was like that back when he first realized he couldn’t die, and then when he felt no hunger or thirst whatsoever, and when he couldn’t sleep and didn’t even feel drowsy.
No matter how much he waited and waited again, exhausted from waiting and trying to fix his own body by stabbing and breaking it, what had changed once never went back.
“Why am I suddenly like this? Did I malfunction or something…”
I have lived quite a long time. It’s enough to malfunction. Orma added that way and giggled.
At the same time, once again the shadow cut through his skin and butchered his organs. Not satisfied with that, it strangled his neck, and even with blood flowing from his nose and mouth, the shadow didn’t know how to stop its rampage.
Ban watched that sight with empty eyes, only muttering the words “don’t” and “please.”
“Don’t… do it. Please…”
Orma’s rampage was such a complicated problem that he didn’t know where or how to even begin handling it. No, the more he tried to handle it, the more he seemed to sink into the mire.
Ban knew well that the biggest problem was none other than himself.
‘I’m… ruining Orma.’
The problem started from making a fuss about becoming an Apostle with words about salvation or whatever. Faith. That was clearly what made Orma change like this.
What kind of confidence did I have to do that? Just because I was reincarnated into a game world, just because system windows kept appearing and quests were given like in a game, didn’t I unknowingly treat Orma like a game character?
The further they went, the more he was only destroying Orma. While making him depend on and rely on himself, even knowing his wish to become an ordinary human, Ban kept remaking Orma into a ‘perfect God.’
The guilt grew larger as if strangling Ban’s neck and pressed down on him.
Why did I start this journey in the first place? Why did I stupidly try so hard to prevent the disaster? Even knowing that Orma changed as faith increased, why did I pretend not to know? That complacent attitude of thinking “maybe it’ll be okay” had ruined Orma once again.
‘…I’m ruining Orma.’
The moment he repeated that fact once more, tears suddenly flowed.
This wasn’t what I intended. I wanted to make Orma happy. I just didn’t want to see him like in the game—crying out that he wanted to die, envying and cursing everything living and breathing, and eventually going mad…
“…Stop crying a bit.”
Orma was only kind, not even knowing that Ban was the Apostle who came to ruin him. While he was unhesitating in destroying his own body, he couldn’t bear even a single tear dropping from Ban and was busy carefully wiping away the tears.
Then when Ban’s face became smeared with his blood that still remained on his hand, he paused. Enough to even stop cutting, breaking, shattering, and destroying his own body mercilessly.
So… perhaps… Banan had foreseen precisely this moment. If even a breath brief as an instant is okay. If that stabilizes you.
Ban approached Orma without hesitation, pulled his neck close and kissed him. Surprised by the completely unexpected action, Orma unconsciously parted his lips slightly, and through that gap, Ban exhaled the short breath he’d been holding.
[Mermaid’s Breath (A-rank) is now active!
Mermaid’s Breath (A-rank): When wearing a blessed item, you can breathe freely even in water. Furthermore, you can share your breath with a target who cannot breathe.]
