The Hero’s Authority (2)
“……”
“Do you understand?”
“…I’ll keep it in mind.”
With a kind but not at all gentle face, Ruman said that. Gepetto shut his mouth tightly and obediently stepped back.
Ruman must have his reasons for saying that, but… it was a bit unfamiliar and scary. So I took Ruman’s words to heart. Let’s not try to know too much!
“You should get dressed, Ren. Ah…”
Ruman seemed to realize that it would take some time to mend the torn clothes as he looked at them. Gepetto, receiving Ruman’s gaze, jumped in surprise and fumbled to take out thread and needle. However, his hands were trembling so much that he couldn’t even properly thread the needle.
Physician Gepetto… I somehow felt sorry for him.
“Give it here.”
Before he even gave it to me, I snatched it away and swoosh! put it through the hole.
“Here you go.”
“Th-thank you, Ren.”
“Good boy, Ren.”
“Why do you keep saying that over something like this?”
Jeez! Making me feel good!!
“At least wear this for now.”
“It’s fine. You don’t have anything to wear either, Ruman.”
“Heroes don’t get cold.”
“There’s no such thing! Heroes are people too, that’s nonsense…”
When I snapped at him, Ruman laughed again.
No, was he always someone who laughs this easily?! Really, isn’t he just laughing whenever he sees me now?
“Look, Ren. Goosebumps on your arms. I’m fine, right?”
“…Must be nice not getting goosebumps.”
“Wear it. We’re going to depart.”
“…I’ll wear it properly.”
Even though I spoke sullenly, Ruman smiled broadly at whatever made him so happy and jumped down from the carriage.
After helping me put on the top, that is.
He shouldn’t be like this too much.
I’m going to get spoiled…
What if I don’t want to part ways?
***
Ruman felt like smoking a cigar.
Seeing the blue bruises rising on those white shoulders made him feel devastated.
It must be because of the memories from that time.
Or perhaps because he knew the cause of those injuries.
As Ruman came out of the carriage, he made eye contact with Temarr. Temarr was quite far from the carriage, but Ruman could tell. That he had heard the entire conversation. He probably had already seen the bruises on Ren’s shoulders too.
Temarr, mounted on his horse, approached. The two seemed to have no intention of departing yet.
Temarr looked at Ruman silently.
“You seem surprised.”
“Am I… like that?”
“Don’t you remember? Or don’t you want to remember?”
Ruman spoke sarcastically.
“I don’t know. Which one it is.”
At that honest reply, Ruman lost his words.
“Will it last long?”
“Which thing?”
“The wounds.”
“So which wounds?”
Temarr made an expression of not understanding.
“You must only be thinking about the shoulder wounds.”
“Then there are other wounds?”
The knuckles turned white on Temarr’s hand gripping the reins. Watching his trembling lips, Ruman thought Temarr had a long way to go.
“Calm down. I mean wounds of the heart.”
Ruman’s lips moved awkwardly as he said ‘wounds of the heart.’
What a life to live. Who would have thought he’d say such words.
Temarr had an even more uncomprehending expression. An expression that said what did that matter.
“You saw Physician Gepetto earlier, right?”
“What about Physician Gepetto-nim?”
“When we were talking about the remnants we dealt with. He turned completely pale.”
“……”
Temarr had a completely uncomprehending expression.
Ruman clicked his tongue.
“Are you perhaps a blockhead?”
“Are you asking for a fight?”
Temarr’s jaw muscles moved greatly.
‘Poor Ren.’
Ruman clicked his tongue inwardly.
“For ordinary people, just hearing things like someone was killed or dealt with is scary.”
In fact, Ruman didn’t know if that was true or not either.
He was just guessing based on watching Physician Gepetto. He felt he needed to say something about ordinary people at least this much so that this brutally uncommunicative Hero could have some conversation with Ren.
“So? Say what you want to say. Don’t beat around the bush.”
Temarr furrowed his brow as if genuinely annoyed. Ruman suppressed the urge to smack that wrinkled forehead and opened his mouth.
“Hoo. So. It’s not even about what happened that day. You didn’t even directly say you killed someone, but if he’s stressed and struggling over even slightly related talk, what about young Ren? Wouldn’t it be hard for him?”
Earlier he’d brushed it off as a joke saying Ren was better than that.
But looking back, it bothered him. And it was bitter.
Wasn’t Ren still a child who hadn’t even come of age?
“Well. Ren isn’t such a weak kid. That’s not worth discussing.”
“Why are you, as his older brother, so indifferent to your younger brother?”
“You’re the one who should stop caring about someone else’s… younger brother.”
“Why are you stuttering like that?”
Temarr strangely stuttered as if hesitating whenever he said the word ‘younger brother.’
“Ruman.”
“What?”
Temarr, who called his name, pondered briefly. With eyes even darker beneath his thick eyebrows, he looked precisely at Ruman and opened his thick lips.
“You should also stop talking as if you understand things you don’t.”
“……”
Got me there.
Ruman had nothing to say.
Right, he’d spoken as if he knew everything, acting superior, but Ruman was also a Hero.
A life far from ordinary people. There was no way he would know about wounds of the heart or such things. If he had really known, wouldn’t he have gone mad after the 7-year war ended?
Because that’s what Heroes were like originally.
Ren too might be similar to them.
Extraordinary, and also a Hero’s younger brother. Perhaps he truly had no connection to such things.
But… shouldn’t he think about it once with an ordinary person’s heart?
Ruman thought it was strange that he was having these thoughts.
So Temarr was probably looking at him with an expression of seeing something strange too.
But why was it? Even though it was strange, even though he thought it was strange, why didn’t he dislike it?
He couldn’t yet know the reason.
“So. How’s the shoulder? In your view.”
Temarr pressed his eyelids as if tired.
Going back to the area where there had been battle wasn’t a very good feeling. Ruman scanned the road they had to pass.
It should be comfortable since it was a familiar road.
Ah, there’s no need to be immersed in such sentiments. Ruman shook his head and recalled Ren’s shoulders. The dark blue bruises rising on those white, round shoulders.
“…It’s strange. I wonder if all wounds made by Heroes have been like that until now.”
As Ruman said, he was engulfed in a strange feeling. He knew this wasn’t the answer Temarr wanted. But once his thoughts opened in that direction, he couldn’t stop the flow. As if he’d had such thoughts at some point before.
Wounds left by Heroes. Called indelible scars that couldn’t be healed even with divine power—those were precisely wounds left by Heroes.
Clinging all the way to the soul and tormenting persistently, that was their authority.
Leaving traces for a long time, erasing very slowly… like an imprint remaining on the soul.
Wounds that remained just from briefly gripping a shoulder.
Then what happened to those who fought battles with Heroes? Rumors circulated that they went mad, but he’d thought it was because of their own valor. He’d thought it was because they were terrified.
But what if that wasn’t it?
What if the Heroes’ abilities were just terribly optimized for human destruction?
What if it was just that the authority to shatter human souls was impressive?
What if they operated as a single monster, mere tools wielded under the Hero’s authority regardless of their own will or ability?
Ruman thought that perhaps he didn’t know at all what a Hero was, what they had been doing, and what they should do from now on.
Ruman’s face turned pale.
“Ruman.”
Calling Ruman who hadn’t spoken for a while, Temarr seriously advised. Just as Ruman couldn’t know what Temarr was thinking, it was the same for Temarr. The amber eyes that shone mysteriously on his pale face always held a faint smile and sarcasm, making it difficult to guess what he was thinking.
But seeing his face turned pale, he seemed to know one thing.
The fact that Ruman was having useless thoughts right now.
Temarr looked down at him and spoke more cynically than ever before.
“Live as you’ve been living.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Living as Heroes, we never had the opportunity to think about this and that. What would change by thinking about it now? Only that thing you call a heart would suffer. Rather, do what you’re good at. Live calculating gains and losses. That suits you.”
“……”
It was cold, calm, and sharp words.
Ruman knew too.
That these thoughts and reflective heart he was having now were just digging up and butchering the past. That they might gnaw away at what little sanity remained and ultimately destroy it.
“I suppose so.”
But. If he didn’t have such thoughts, could he… understand the heart of someone who wasn’t a Hero?
Too randomly at this moment, Ruman thought of Ren.
Why?
That couldn’t be. Just because he liked him.
Someone as selfish as him couldn’t want to understand someone’s heart.
Ruman thought he should be that way.
A face visible in vivid detail thanks to hair fluttering in the wind. Temarr’s dark eyes examined Ruman. Ruman did the same.
Ruman smiled softly and continued in a light tone as if forgetting all his thoughts unlike before.
“Aren’t you bothered at all?”
Ruman also thought it was unfamiliar and strange that he was having these thoughts and spouting these words. But why couldn’t he stop? The thoughts he’d stopped kept circling the same point as if marked with a repeat sign.
There was no way Heroes had things like hearts or such. Even though he thought they shouldn’t have them, why was he now spouting these words and having these thoughts? And yet what was the reason he stubbornly asked Temarr?
After a brief silence, Temarr opened his tightly closed mouth.
The words that came from his blunt and rigid face were concise.
“I’m just curious about Ren’s shoulders.”
“Haha.”
