Ruman’s Goal (2)
Damn it! I hate getting caught in between.
But watching Ren and Temarr keep missing each other, I couldn’t just laugh about it anymore.
The reason for that was…….
I didn’t need to think about it.
By some miracle, the Hero’s body had become clean, but the areas where his limbs had been severed felt horrifying. The pain like being seared by fire still lingered in his body.
Ruman closed his eyes to erase the memory.
This kind of pain, I can handle as much as needed.
Ruman was also a Hero who had swept through battlefields, wasn’t he?
The King’s pride, the Third Star, wasn’t he?
The long day finally came to an end, and everyone who had spent a grueling night went to bed.
The castle’s lights that had brightly illuminated the night like the North Star went out one by one. The pitch-black night that descended created a quiet silence so that those who had endured a nightmarish day could sleep peacefully.
But even in that silence, it was a night when many couldn’t sleep.
Temarr stayed by Ren’s side the entire time he slept. Ren wandered through dreams all night long. Ruman erased memories he didn’t want to relive. As he erased them one by one, the only face remaining in Ruman’s memories was Ren’s. The only memory that didn’t cause him pain was……. Picturing the boy with bright blonde hair, Ruman suffered belatedly.
Ren had a long dream.
It was a dream of the days when he was born and raised in the village, sent his hyung off as a Hero, and lived alone.
***
Uuugh.
My whole body hurts like I’ve been beaten all over. It hurts so much.
Uwehk. What is this bitter medicine? It tastes even more terrible than the pharmacist harabeom’s medicine. Ptui, ptui.
“$$#&*##”
What are they saying? Ow, it’s so noisy I could die. Can’t I just sleep? Why are people so rude!
I keep telling them I don’t want to eat it, but they keep putting something in my mouth. Ptui! Even when I spit it out, the spoon comes back in. Uuuugh. Are you only going to stop feeding me if I vomit! When I swatted my hand away with a smack, I heard the sound of a bowl breaking.
Huh?
Geez, I said I don’t want it!
Ugh. They’re forcing something down my throat. It’s bitter. Bitter!
Being force-fed made me feel really bad, but after eating it, my body felt somewhat okay. My dazed mind also seemed to clear up a little.
Wait, what am I doing right now?
“Urk!”
“Ren!”
I opened my eyes wide!
“Wow! I’m so glad you’re awake! Do you know how much trouble this Kirki went through!”
“Do you want to make a patient feel indebted to you?”
“What, why? Don’t tell me you’re going back to sleep?”
For a moment it was too bright so I squeezed my eyes shut again, but they called out so noisily that I opened my eyes again.
What, why are you all gathered here? It’s scary!
I don’t know how many people are looking down at me.
Temarr hyung, Ruman, Coco, Priest Kirki, and several maids were surrounding me in a circle. Why are you all doing this! It’s overwhelming!!
“…….”
“You’re scaring people. Just how long are you going to sleep?”
Ruman said curtly, tossing the words out.
“Did I really sleep that long??”
“Haa. You burned everyone up with worry.”
He helped me sit up.
Ugh. I must have been lying down for a long time because my body felt stiff. When Ruman put a pillow behind my back, I felt somewhat alive.
“How long did I sleep?”
“Four days….”
It was Coco who answered. Her eyes were red-rimmed.
What! It’s not because of me, is it?! Don’t do that. I feel sorry and it’s creepy.
I slowly turned my gaze away.
“Ah……!”
“What’s wrong?”
I glanced at Temarr hyung and Ruman.
“……The schedule. We’re delayed because of me, right?”
“That’s right. We really need to hurry now.”
Ruman said, poking my cheek.
Why are you poking someone else’s cheek! I felt too sorry to swat his hand away, so I just scrunched up my face and glared at him.
Ruman giggled and laughed.
“Hyung. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine as long as you’re awake.”
Hyung said that and patted my head!
“When are we leaving?”
“…….”
“Rest for now. We can’t leave right away anyway.”
My butt fidgeted because I wanted to hold onto hyung.
No, I know it can’t be helped if you leave me behind! I even know it would be better to leave me behind. But, I know that, but still, you’re not going to just sneak off without me knowing, right?
Perhaps understanding my anxious heart, Ruman repeatedly told me they’d be back soon. Even though they were just going out of the room, I felt a bit sad.
***
Geez. I wish he’d look at me with those eyes.
Ruman leaned against the corridor wall, not even knowing what he was thinking.
What is blind love?
Ruman had never believed in love in the first place, but seeing Ren made him feel strange. Should he say he wanted to know what that thing called love, which he’d already concluded about, actually was?
“Temarr.”
It was Ruman’s characteristic tone, heavier than usual yet somehow light.
“What.”
“You leave first. I’ll stay here.”
Ruman spoke without hesitation, as if he’d been thinking about it for a while.
“What?”
“His Majesty is waiting, so you need to go as soon as possible, right? So go ahead. With Ren’s condition, it looks difficult to even leave tomorrow. You’d feel more at ease if one of us stays here, wouldn’t you? So I’ll…….”
Ruman poured out his words. These were thoughts that had constantly circled in his head while Ren wasn’t waking up, so once he opened his mouth, they flowed smoothly.
Temarr reviewed what Ruman was saying. Had he heard correctly? This guy, who always prioritized himself and his own interests, was saying he’d stay behind without compensation, giving up his time for someone else’s sake? A light flashed in Temarr’s eyes.
“No.”
“What?”
Expressionless eyes swept over Ruman’s face. Temarr, who had cut him off, drove the point home once more.
“There’s no need for that.”
“What stubbornness is this? Are you saying you’ll take Ren with you?”
“…….”
Ruman furrowed his eyebrows and swept his hair back as if frustrated.
Temarr must know too. That taking Ren in his current condition would be unreasonable.
Priest Kirki and the physician said that Ren had fallen into a deep sleep due to psychological shock. He must clearly know that it would be better to let Ren rest.
“Why are you being stubborn?”
Irritation gradually tinged Ruman’s voice. Temarr’s heavily closed mouth opened.
“Ren is my younger brother.”
“What?”
Who doesn’t know that?
Ruman lost his words in absurdity.
“It means I know my younger brother best.”
That was one of the few things Temarr could be confident about.
“So you’re going to take him no matter what?”
“Because Ren will prefer being ‘together’ with me.”
Perhaps his only certainty.
Temarr, who emphasized ‘together,’ glared at Ruman as if he were some kind of enemy.
“Who doesn’t know that? That’s not what I mean—for the sake of the ‘mission’…….”
Temarr flinched.
The mission given by the King. The deadline had long since passed. Even if he ran there immediately, time would be insufficient. For Temarr, a Hero for whom the King’s orders were top priority, the King’s Seventh Star, the Hero of infinite glory, it would be right to return to his master immediately.
However, Temarr…… felt a flame rising in his rock-solid chest.
He should do so for the sake of the ‘mission,’ but this time, he couldn’t.
Temarr’s eyes gleamed like a beast’s. An aura filled with ferocious murderous intent rippled from his body. He approached as if to choke Ruman’s breath.
“Ruman. Why don’t you just leave?”
Not a suggestion but a warning.
Ruman froze at the unexpected reaction.
“What…?”
“Your mission is over, isn’t it? Delivering the letter to me.”
“…….”
That’s right. Ruman’s mission had already ended.
Now nothing bound him anymore. Not the state, not the enormous responsibility of the name Hero, nothing. He could live the rest of his life comfortably as someone who ‘used to be’ a great Hero. With the Hero’s halo still draped over his shoulders. The freedom he’d so longed for was right before his eyes.
Ruman recalled when he’d come down to find the village stuck in a mountain valley to deliver the letter to Temarr.
It was a time when ennui had settled over everything, when the name Hero had become so tiresome and disgusting that he was sick of it. He felt nauseated and wanted to retch. Whenever he heard words like Hero, duty, or salvation, he broke out in hives all over his body. He sometimes wanted to punch even the faces of good commoners, so it was time to quit. The duties that bound his life, the responsibility that weighed down his entire life, the life of a war hero who trampled individuals under the name Hero.
“Haa…….”
Ruman blinked slowly. Since even Temarr’s murderous intent choking his breath wasn’t sincere, it only made his skin tingle. His skin swelled up red, but if Ruman drew up his power, it would disappear as if it had never been there.
How did I end up coming this far?
Ruman hadn’t planned to accompany them for this long from the beginning. He’d planned to part ways with Temarr in a suitable village after passing the cliff. He had been promised an arranged meeting. He was supposed to play at love with a foolish noble young lady who wanted ‘freedom and love,’ catering to her and money’s whims, and live the rest of his life comfortably playing around on her money. What a comfortable and happy life that would be. There would be no war, no blood, no heroes there—just an immature lover. If they kept their bodies close like that, they’d have children, and somehow he could live wearing the name of love.
That was Ruman’s goal.
Not falling on the battlefield, surviving, and absolutely living comfortably for twice the length of the life spent at war. That resolve was Ruman’s hope. Ruman’s wish that arose before his comrade’s death. For that, he pursued profit and collected gold coins. Marriage funds to establish a household.
“That’s right.”
He wondered how he’d forgotten the goal right before his eyes.
How had he forgotten such an important promise?
