An accountant. For a child’s future aspiration, it was strangely mature and specific. Considering that the subject he was in charge of now was also mathematics, it was all the more interesting.
He must have been good at math since back then, he thought. Instead of answering, Seongjo responded with an exclamation of “Hmm,” and Yujeong calmly continued speaking.
“Until then, I hadn’t even thought about being a teacher. I didn’t particularly like kids. Even though I was a kid myself.”
“It seems there was a catalyst.”
Though he nodded calmly and answered, in truth he was thinking about various things inside. Things like young Yujeong who would have found children burdensome, or his face smiling with subtle pride after getting high scores on math tests.
In Seongjo’s imagination, young Yujeong was very mature and dignified compared to his peers, a precocious child who thought other children around him were pathetic.
Though he smiled inwardly while imagining such things, Yujeong continued speaking with a calm face.
“Around that time, I met one unusual adult. Their profession wasn’t teacher, but…… in the sense that I learned a lot, I think of them as a mentor. Personally, for me.”
If he hadn’t been driving, or at least if he hadn’t been running on such a rainy road, he would have turned his head to check his face. He was curious what expression he was making when talking about this person called a mentor. Though he couldn’t turn his eyes, he felt that Yujeong’s voice contained quite a lot of warmth.
“That person said they had one child…… and greatly regretted not being able to be together and directly teach various things.”
“Why couldn’t they be together? Did a divorced spouse not let them see the child?”
At Seongjo’s question to continue hearing the story, Yujeong slowly shook his head.
“I heard it was a health problem. I met them when they came to our family home area for recuperation.”
It naturally made him recall where Yujeong’s family home had been. It was certainly a perfect place for someone with weak health to visit and spend time.
“That’s when I first started thinking about such children…….”
He couldn’t know what Yujeong had learned from this person called a mentor, or what stories he’d heard to make him think such thoughts. But the words that he’d come to think about such children through that encounter felt special. Perhaps Yujeong was an even better teacher than Yujeong himself thought.
“I can’t say I became a teacher one hundred percent because of that, though. It must have been part of the catalyst.”
“Hmm…….”
“Even now, when I see certain children, I think of that person back then and…… the child they spoke of.”
Yujeong closed his mouth after finishing those words. Strength entered Seongjo’s hands gripping the steering wheel. He tried to find words to answer, but with many thoughts, he couldn’t easily open his mouth. The person who broke the silence and opened their mouth again was Yujeong this time too.
“How does it sound to you?”
How does it sound…… he asked.
This too was a difficult question to answer right away. Before everything else, Seongjo was curious about Yujeong’s intention in bringing up this story. Was it really simply words brought up to pass time as Seongjo had requested? Because this was the only story that came to mind? But for that, it was quite an intimate story.
“I’m thinking that young Jeon Yujeong-ssi must have been cute…….”
Yujeong laughed quietly out loud.
In truth, Seongjo had separate thoughts.
He had briefly recalled memories of his mother.
Seongjo’s mother left the family when Seongjo was young. He only knew it was about discord with his father; he didn’t know more accurate and specific reasons. He hadn’t seen his mother again since that time.
In his last memory, his mother was someone who loved her husband and son. Seongjo thought there must have been reasons painful enough to make her leave.
His father too, despite being someone who had enough means to search the entire country thoroughly, never attempted to track down his mother. That was probably his father’s way of…… a final consideration, he presumed.
His father felt guilt and responsibility toward both the wife who left and the son who remained. It was why he tried not to interfere with what Seongjo did as much as possible, and didn’t force him to go down the path he desired.
His mother’s empty seat always remained in one corner of his heart. However, in order not to be conscious of that empty seat, he usually made maximum efforts not to think about his mother. Thanks to that, the memories that came rushing in after a long time were particularly bitter.
What had she been like? Did she think of her son after leaving? Like Yujeong’s mentor who couldn’t be by their child’s side due to poor health, did she ever worry about Seongjo even from far away?
Such thoughts were never uttered outside his mouth in the end. No, he couldn’t utter them. Seongjo smiled with an unconcerned face and added.
“You’re a good teacher, Jeon Yujeong-ssi.”
“Is that so? That’s what you say, but…… I’m not really such an active teacher right now.”
Yujeong replied matter-of-factly. It wasn’t a pessimistic voice. If he had to express it, it was a tone where humility could be felt.
“I’m not even sure if I’m really helping students who need an adult’s attention or help.”
Just thinking such thoughts itself already made Yujeong seem like a good adult. That’s how Seongjo felt. He couldn’t help but like someone who had passion and conviction about their work.
At a glance, Yujeong seemed indifferent to others and even to himself. The image was strong that he simply did what needed to be done; he hadn’t anticipated that he’d be a teacher who truly cared for each student sincerely.
But Yujeong’s voice worrying now was real. Moreover, wasn’t there Yeongeun as the closest example? Yujeong, who was recognized as a trustworthy teacher by Yeongeun and earned that much favor, felt fully qualified.
Seongjo thought about such aspects of Yujeong while holding the steering wheel. Only after quite some time could he add a word.
“I think it would have been good if someone like Yujeong-ssi had been my teacher when I was a student.”
Though it was words spat out as if tossing them, it was sincere.
“I feel like I could have relied on you if you were close by.”
Yujeong was silent for a moment. Had he noticed the weight unintentionally carried in Seongjo’s words?
“I’m close by even now.”
The words that came out after a moment sounded plain.
At first hearing.
Because he was so curious about Yujeong’s expression when he said those words, Seongjo very quickly glanced at his face with a sidelong look.
Since it was such a brief moment, he couldn’t properly read it, but…….
“I think it would be good if you relied on me. Not when you were a student, but Lee Seongjo-ssi right now…….”
Yujeong’s voice was calm as always. He was curious why those words felt particularly weighty. Was it because of Seongjo’s heart receiving them, or was it actually because Yujeong had spoken with that much weight?
Seongjo didn’t answer.
Yujeong must have known the reason he wasn’t answering.
Not because it was difficult, not because he disliked it…….
“Am I someone to rely on? Me.”
Though he could guess the answer as he pleased from Seongjo’s reaction, it seemed he had no intention of passing it over appropriately. Even at the question that came again, Seongjo maintained silence. Not because he didn’t want to answer, but because he was at a loss for words.
Was Yujeong someone to rely on?
Answering simply was easy. ‘Of course.’ But he felt like that degree of answer wouldn’t be sufficient. He began to think this was when what Yujeong had said about wanting to be careful applied.
“Am I not? Do I need more effort?”
Yujeong, who had been waiting for Seongjo’s answer, asked calmly. Seongjo finally opened his mouth after letting out a long breath as if exhaling the breath he’d been holding.
“You are, someone to rely on. That’s the problem.”
“Why is that a problem?”
If he hadn’t been someone worth relying on, the answer would have been easy. Because he could just say no. No suitable words to answer Yujeong’s question came to mind. So Seongjo shrugged slightly while still holding the steering wheel.
Yujeong seemed satisfied anyway with the fact that Seongjo had counted him as someone he could rely on. He made a small laughing sound and murmured.
“That’s a relief. I thought since the first impression wasn’t great, I might not have made up for it enough yet.”
Seongjo’s eyes lit up for a moment. Since Yujeong mentioned the first impression, he immediately had a lot to say. The sentiment was refreshing.
It hadn’t been that long since he met Yujeong. At most a few months, insufficient time to fully get to know a person. During that time, because they’d been entangled through unusually frequent encounters, recalling their first meeting now felt almost novel.
