“Is that so?”
Come to think of it, he’d never once thought about what kind of person sent the notes, or their gender. Seongjo himself was surprised by that fact. But even thinking about it again after hearing this, he still felt the sender’s gender didn’t really matter much. Though he was a bit curious.
“What about the handwriting? What was the handwriting like?”
Rather, Eunseo, who hadn’t even properly seen the other person’s note contents, seemed more anxious. Seongjo thought Eunseo might be terribly disappointed if he revealed today’s note about why jjajang was better than jjamppong, so he answered in an indifferent tone.
“I couldn’t tell just from the handwriting.”
It wasn’t round or cute handwriting. Though it was neat and clean enough that he’d believe it if someone said they copied a font. Even after hearing Seongjo’s vague answer, Eunseo was enthusiastic.
“I think it’s a girl. My intuition says so. Um, no, at least one thing’s certain—they’re interested in you.”
Seongjo countered the words she added in a voice that seemed slightly less confident.
“When they only pick fights with me every day?”
“Hey, picking fights is also devotion. It’s not like they know when you’ll come, but they’re writing it every day and leaving it there? How could they do that if they weren’t interested.”
Eunseo said while waving her hands. There seemed to be definite conviction in those words.
Actually, though the note’s contents were like that, Seongjo himself agreed with Eunseo’s words. How many days had this been going on already? This exchange had been continuing for quite a while without even knowing each other’s numbers. He thought it couldn’t happen unless they were interested in Seongjo himself. Even if it wasn’t necessarily romantic interest, there were various kinds of interest after all…
Right now, starting with Seongjo himself, he had tremendous interest in the owner of this note whose face he didn’t even know. He thought someday the time would come when he’d learn the face behind those notes.
However, from a certain day on, those notes suddenly stopped.
As if it had been a lie from the beginning.
* * *
It just happened to be exam period. Rather than other students stopping their visits, even more numbers began seeking out the library and seats were crowded every day (perhaps because rumors spread that it was Lee Seongjo’s reserved seat, the seat Seongjo chose was usually empty), but only those notes vanished without a trace.
On the first day, he thought, ‘I guess there are days like this.’
On the second day, he thought, ‘Are they busy this week?’
After several days passed, all kinds of thoughts started occurring to him.
Had something happened to the note owner? Or had someone cleaning accidentally thrown away the note?
Seongjo, who’d been anxious, soon recalled the possibility that perhaps the note owner hadn’t stopped coming to the library, but continued to check in at the library while stopping leaving notes.
It could be to focus on studying for exams, or perhaps they’d belatedly worried that Seongjo might get angry if he dug into their identity.
Wondering if they’d return after exams ended, he couldn’t focus on his own exams to the point that he was restless. He’d even left a Post-it first on a day when he couldn’t wait any longer.
Along with a Pineapple Peach drink he’d gotten directly from the vending machine. It was a note containing words to do well on the exam without any provocative words, and it was kind content to the degree that he himself felt embarrassed writing it.
The next day when he checked in at the same seat as expected, the drink and note he’d left on the desk had disappeared. However, a reply was nowhere to be seen even if he searched with fresh eyes. Had the person who should receive it actually taken it? Or perhaps had it been cleaned away without even finding its owner? He couldn’t know anything for certain.
Only then did Seongjo accept it. The fact that perhaps he might never receive those notes again, or meet the note’s owner.
“But wait, you could find them if you tried, couldn’t you?”
Eunseo, who’d heard the situation, said so. Seongjo nodded without denying it. If he tried to find them, he could find them anytime. It had already been like that even during the height of exchanging notes before things turned out this way. But he hadn’t particularly wanted to dig into it, so he’d waited for the other person to reveal their identity first or to meet by chance.
It was the same now. That’s why he didn’t feel like forcibly digging up who the other person was now. When he said so, Eunseo nodded with an unconvinced face.
“…Well, they must have had their reasons.”
She seemed quite displeased with the other person, but compared to that, it was quite a genteel statement. Seongjo laughed lightly as if it was nothing, but Eunseo strangely continued to gauge Seongjo’s mood.
“Oh, come to think of it… I heard the department’s having a drinking party to celebrate finishing exams this time, want to go?”
“Not really?”
There weren’t many people left at the school he’d returned to who’d been close with Seongjo anyway. It wasn’t even the end of the semester, just the end of midterms, and moreover he didn’t have the confidence to go enjoy drinking freely in this mood. But instead of readily nodding, Eunseo laughed making a “hehe” sound.
“I’d skip it if I could… but the kids are really going to annoy you about it.”
…Those words were true this time too. After hearing those words from Eunseo, Seongjo suffered terribly from his classmates’ contacts continuing for dozens at a time. In the end, he had no choice but to attend the problematic drinking gathering.
The drinking location was a meat restaurant in the college district. Because it was a place he hadn’t particularly wanted to come, Seongjo arrived about ten minutes later than the set time. Inside the shop, several familiar faces were visible. Though they weren’t all faces he’d particularly missed.
The male classmates sitting next to Seongjo seemed quite interested in Seongjo, whom they were seeing after a long time. The evidence was that the topic of conversation centered on him as soon as Seongjo appeared.
“I hear you’ve been diligently going to the library these days? Are you studying?”
“They say people change after going to the military… I didn’t think even Lee Seongjo would be like that.”
Among the classmates each saying a word, a barbed comment sneakily slipped in.
“Hey, what do we do if even a guy like you studies hard? What are we supposed to live on?”
What was his name… Was it Wonhu? It would have been nice if he wore a name tag like a high school student. Anyway, his tone was strangely sharp. Seongjo, who keenly caught that point, stopped keeping his mouth shut and asked back pointlessly.
“What kind of guy am I?”
“Uh… an excellent guy?”
He laughed while gauging reactions. As if it had just been a compliment from the start. However, there was no way Seongjo couldn’t notice this strange atmosphere.
The situation of Seongjo’s male classmates here was obvious. Men who’d been to the military and had little time left until graduation. Perhaps because it was a time of great urgency, they were often in a frenzy.
The male classmates he’d been close with or comfortable with had either graduated or were currently away in the military. What remained were only those who’d been uncomfortable relationships from the start. Being subject to something like rivalry but not quite rivalry among such a group was familiar to Seongjo. It didn’t even tickle him.
It would have been better if he hadn’t come from the start though…
“Haah…”
Without hiding his sigh, he exhaled openly. Though he was sitting there, he couldn’t concentrate. Someone poured out their sorrows after finishing midterms, someone talked about recent conflicts with their lover while choking up. The voices of all such people were soon tied up together with one phrase.
“Come on, drink, drink. Let’s drink and forget. Let’s drink and shake it all off.”
Seongjo thought that perhaps he himself might be in the state most needing the words ‘let’s drink and forget.’
But his body didn’t follow his thoughts. He had no appetite, so he didn’t want to put even a glass of alcohol to his lips, let alone snacks. Uncharacteristically for Seongjo, who always enjoyed the atmosphere of drinking gatherings.
That’s why he just sat there barely drinking the one glass Junseok first poured for him. That appearance seemed to be caught on his classmates’ radar before long. One of the classmates who’d been raising their voices saying to drink freely spoke to Seongjo, acknowledging him.
“Seongjo, what are you doing? Are you pretending to be weak? That’s not like you, why are you like that? Did you really change after going to the military?”
There was no way to know whether it was simply a joke, to liven up the drinking atmosphere, or a rebuke mixed with some sincerity. What was certain was that the drinking atmosphere was already heated up and even classmates who weren’t drunk yet had entrusted themselves to the mood. They each went on saying things like ‘Give us back Lee Seongjo’ and clung to Seongjo.
“Seongjo, let’s have a drinking contest.”
Just then someone spoke up with a resolute voice. When he reflexively turned his head, it was those words from that very classmate who’d been acting prickly from the start today, Wonhu. He was glaring at Seongjo while holding a soju bottle.
