I rationalized to myself that the more messy the kiss was, the more scared of me he would be, as I kissed him deeply.
“Mmnh… Hnngh.”
But inwardly, I wanted to hold everything—his breath, his saliva, his sounds. I liked him maddeningly much.
The night insects that had been quietly crying seemed shocked by us too, and on the terrace where only silence remained, only the sounds of boys panting from urgent kisses echoed.
“Cesa, re…. Haah….”
Just despise me for this kiss. So I can protect the things precious to me. I kept praying he would hate me.
Cesare Yanox. Hate me so I can escape from you. But I like you. I like you so much. I want to go all the way with you. I want to hold you. Is this my fault? No, it’s not. It’s your fault. It’s because of you. I repeatedly told myself I was just a victim. That you were the perpetrator.
After the confusing pleasure swept through once, my eyes grew hot with the rationality that gradually returned. Slowly, as if cherishing something precious, I licked his moistly swollen lips and opened my eyes.
Me, pathetically seeking love with short kisses even though I knew it was wrong. Cesare, looking at me with his face flushed and his brow deeply furrowed.
Why is this bastard so stunning and cool even at a time like this? In contrast, the image of myself reflected in his eyes seemed so miserable that shame washed over me.
Eventually, feeling his chest roughly rising and falling with my fingertips, I completely stopped the kiss. And as if atoning, I buried my head deep in his embrace.
“Sorry…. Haah. I have nothing to say…. I like you. No, I love you. I’ve wanted to do this all along.”
‘It’s over. It’s really over.’
I was only confused by the cold ending that contrasted with the heated kiss, and tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to quickly open my mouth to warn him, but my body and mind, dulled and excited by the strange heat, stiffened rigidly and wouldn’t move at all.
– Crash!
“Urk!”
With the sound of the cocoa cup I’d set aside spilling as it caught on my foot, I finally came to my senses with a start. Startled, I immediately stepped back and retreated.
“I… I… find it hard to be by your side.”
At the sight of me slowly backing away, Cesare also hurriedly composed himself and stood up. When I saw his lips glistening with my saliva head-on, I felt like my heart would burst out. Cesare had a face showing considerable shock, as if he hadn’t expected me to suddenly kiss him at all.
“When you’re next to me, I only have these dirty thoughts. So don’t keep me close. If I’m by your side, you’re in danger.”
I cruelly spat out words that would sound like a warning to him. And in case he would cast Brainwashing Magic on me to erase the memory of what just happened, I turned my back and ran away without giving him a chance to grab me.
* * *
For several days after the assassin appeared, everything at the Imperial Academy came to a complete stop. Classes, extracurricular activities, even the scheduled homecoming events were all suspended, and students were confined within the academy, unable to move at all.
That went for Crown Prince Cedric as well. Lucy moved a chess piece and asked Cedric worriedly.
“Where is Priest Heiss?”
“He went immediately to repair the academy’s sacred barrier. He said it would take several days because there are many places to repair. Still, it’s fortunate he was here in advance.”
“Have you found the mastermind behind the assassin?”
“Princess. Do you happen to know about the Dark Guild?”
“…I’ve heard there’s a secret guild within the empire that will do any job as long as anyone pays a large sum of money, no matter who the client is.”
“Priest Heiss suspects there might be a mastermind from there. The sword itself was elaborately made with creation magic, and moving the earth was also quite advanced magic. If someone with that kind of mana passed through the academy’s sacred barrier unscathed, it wouldn’t be ordinary.”
“So that’s why you initially suspected the Young Duke of Yanox, who was inside. Because he’s quite skilled in magic.”
“Right. But I was hasty. Yanox was right. With such a crude method, it would only buy more backlash from the imperial family. Someone was imitating Yanox and causing trouble.”
“…Then what benefit would they get from that?”
“Who knows.”
Cedric moved a piece. Lucy, who had been pondering for a while on how to make her next move, eventually timidly moved a single pawn. Seeing this, Cedric’s lips curved into a small arc. It was because he recalled an arm that had struggled to emerge from the crowd not long ago.
‘The feeling of it squirming around is similar to a pawn. They said imitating a small dog is a hobby, so everything seems to look similar.’
“Lucy. Both during that Roswell switch incident and this ball too. You seem especially close with Mellans—you’re not in that kind of relationship I’m thinking of, are you?”
“No! Lionel is a really good friend. He’s the first friend who bought me lunch. The most expensive lobster lunch box at that. Hehe.”
“Did you tell him your identity?”
“…Um. No? He absolutely won’t know.”
Lucy smiled shyly and pushed up her glasses. She naturally laughed at Lionel’s clueless appearance, mistaking things without knowing that Princess Françoise was her.
“Mellans is a bit peculiar, isn’t he? Maybe it’s because he’s from a commoner background.”
“At first I was scared because he hung out with Yanox… but he’s really cute. Hehe.”
“Right. Cute. Whenever I think of that kid, for some reason I keep laughing. Hahaha.”
At Lucy’s answer, Cedric agreed and burst into a pleasant laugh. And he didn’t forget to immediately capture the pawn Lucy had put out with his bishop.
* * *
Mmmm.
Mitche floated around inside my mind in a meditation pose. But regardless of that, I kept talking to myself.
‘I have no thoughts. Because I have no thoughts.’
I shouldn’t have such a thing as thoughts. If I have thoughts, that day’s kiss keeps coming to mind. So from now on, you must live without any thoughts, Lionel Mellans.
This morning too, I blankly buried my head in the cafeteria’s dessert corner and scooped up vanilla ice cream with dead eyes. That’s when Cain yelled and grabbed my scruff.
“Kyaak, Rye! Are you dying to be socially dead? Get out of there right now!”
“……?”
“The ice cream corner right after homecoming is a place only gloomy loser loners go who couldn’t get a partner or got massively rejected by their partner! Look over there!”
At Cain’s words, when I turned my head gloomily, I saw several zombies giving off a similar atmosphere to me, scooping up ice cream with dead eyes.
“My Juliet….”
“Sob sob. You hated the classroom confession that much….”
“Is he really better looking than me…? *sob*.”
Among them was an ugly guy with dark circles who kept blankly scooping ice cream even though his bowl was overflowing.
Ah. Looking again, that’s a mirror. So that’s me? It’s me. Hehe.
“This is a place only for guys who’ve lost their taste buds enough to eat cafeteria ice cream from the pain of heartbreak!”
“The pain of heartbreak….”
Right. I think I got my heart broken, Cain. I desperately wanted to say that.
“Listen carefully. The ones who should be there are either clueless guys who confess without thinking ahead.”
Urk.
“Or stupid guys who got rejected after recklessly kissing.”
Hngh. That’s me, you bastard.
I couldn’t come to my senses from Cain’s detailed fact assault, so detailed I wondered if he’d seen me directly. Eventually, feeling my soul slipping out of my mouth, I went limp in his grasp.
“Let go of this….”
“There aren’t even classes these days, so why are you so droopy? Don’t tell me it’s because I didn’t pay attention to you for a few days?”
“Nyaaah.”
“Is it because you can’t see Cesare due to the dormitory lockdown?”
At the name Cesare, the kiss from that time came to mind, and I twisted around like a worm that got salt on it again, burying my head in Cain’s shoulder. Every time that scene came to mind, Mitche would jump up even while meditating and dance around excitedly. I crumpled up that Mitche and threw him away.
If there was anything fortunate, it was that classes were still suspended so I didn’t have to meet Cesare. Whether others were troubled or not, Cain rubbed both my cheeks while making a fuss.
“Our Rye. Are you really sick somewhere? Heartworm? Didn’t your grandfather get you the prevention shot?”
This. With Cesare and all, I really wonder if everyone thinks of me as a dog. I should stop with the special dog tricks.
“Mmnh…. But why haven’t I seen hide nor hair of you for several days?”
“This and that. Family matters.”
Cain scratched his head and mumbled vaguely. When I stared at Cain intently, he got antsy and provided additional explanation.
“So my paternal grandfather’s second son’s, son’s, eldest uncle’s wife was at the academy for homecoming and I had to entertain her.”
Crazy. What kind of relationship is that? So grandfather’s second son’s, son’s, eldest uncle’s what was it again…. As I was turning my unused brain for several days, Cain quickly snatched my plate.
“Rye! By the way, do you know anything about the information on the assassin?”
“The assassin? They still haven’t caught him? They closed down this entire area because of that.”
“Right. But isn’t it a bit strange that the guy looked like Cesare?”
That was true. No matter how much Cesare was plotting rebellion, if his goal was Cedric’s life to begin with, there was no reason to go through the trouble of pulling in our trading company’s funds to start a rebellion. He could have just killed him in the classroom while he was distracted during class.
‘This was never mentioned in the original work at all.’
I had a feeling that my possession might not go the way of the original work. The appearance of Princess Françoise too, and Ju Shinyoung said what I read was a guidebook.
I lowered my voice and whispered to him quietly.
“I think so too. For someone skilled enough to sneak into the academy, the assassination method was too sloppy. I think the purpose might have been to frame Cesare.”
“Oh. That’s sharp for you? It looks like there are Dark Guild guys behind it.”
