Rou sincerely thought so. Brukisel had simply fulfilled his responsibility. If a monarch feared bloodshed and avoided and turned away from war, that place could never be peaceful. Peace was a privilege only those who could protect themselves could possess.
At the same time, he felt infinitely sorry for Brukisel asking him such things. For just a casual question, he clearly showed signs of wanting confirmation of something.
Rou raised himself and approached Brukisel. With Brukisel sitting and Rou standing, it became a situation where Brukisel was looking up at Rou. In that state, Rou embraced Brukisel with all his strength.
For Rou to embrace him, he had to stretch both arms with all his might. Their chests touched and they drew close enough that not only body heat but even heartbeats could be transmitted. Rou spoke to him in a whisper, hoping his sincerity would reach him.
“You’ve worked so hard, Brukisel. It’s alright now.”
Rou slowly, very slowly stroked the hair of Brukisel held in his arms. When he made comforting gestures, Brukisel belatedly pushed him away.
What was the logic in this? Why was he saying such things to him? With an innocent face that seemed to only know of milk and honey flowing in the world, he only spoke words as if he’d lived half a millennium. To speak with eyes as if he’d experienced all kinds of hardships, saying that sacrificing for the greater good was unavoidable.
Moreover, his metaphors didn’t feel like he’d simply taken something written somewhere like proverbs and read it. From his speaking tone, his gaze, and his faintly trembling eyes, it was strongly felt that he was reciting his own experiences.
When the High Priest first appeared and Brukisel hadn’t yet completely withdrawn his suspicion, he had Het investigate Rou’s background. Whether there were sordid rumors or evil deeds his family had committed. If there was even the slightest sign of such things, he planned to use it as an excuse to discuss the High Priest’s deposition.
But truly strangely, Rou’s background was truly close to pure white. Evil deeds, what evil deeds. Brukisel couldn’t obtain any information about his hometown, family, relatives, or anything else. No matter how he thought about it, he seemed like he must be from a great noble family of the south, but it was peculiar that there was this little information.
There was no information the imperial family’s intelligence network couldn’t obtain. So if the Emperor wanted, he should have been able to know everything about even the High Priest down to the smallest detail. If it had been intentionally erased, at least traces should remain, but there were no records about Rou anywhere.
With such exceptional looks, rumors should have spread quickly even if he’d been stuck deep in some mountain valley. If such a person had suddenly disappeared from southern high society, there would surely be stories surrounding his disappearance. But no rumors could be found about a person with lemon-colored blonde hair and honey-colored eyes.
Rou truly seemed like a person who had fallen from the sky.
At the time, he’d covered it up as is since he didn’t want to spend more time and attention on the High Priest, but the current Brukisel could ask.
“What happened in your surroundings?”
“My…… surroundings? I’ve never been more peaceful than lately. Jes and Yan are truly cute and diligent. Ah, Het too.”
Brukisel paused briefly at the High Priest’s unique aesthetics, but then thought that perhaps to someone living with such a face, exceptional looks might be meaningless.
“No. Before that. Who was your family? Where did you live in the past?”
This was the first time Brukisel was asking such things. Rou wanted to grant and tell Brukisel anything he wanted, but it was a question difficult to be perfectly honest about. If he knew that he was the goddess’s spirit, a bumblebee at that, it seemed like it would be hard to maintain their current relationship with Brukisel.
He finally felt like he’d gotten one step closer to Brukisel’s heart—he didn’t want to bring up that fact and ruin everything.
“With my sisters…… I lived in one home.”
Instead, Rou spoke of a time when he could be completely honest. Still before becoming a spirit. It was a story from when he was a small (but still large compared to ordinary bumblebees) bumblebee.
“With your sisters?”
“Yes. In one home…… we would all gather together to pass the winter. If we huddled together, we could share body heat and endure.”
“How many sisters did you have?”
“Uh……”
Rou hesitated to answer. From dozens to hundreds—the number of sisters was determined each year by the number of eggs the queen bee laid. But if he told Brukisel that fact, he felt like he’d immediately receive suspicious looks.
“Twelve?”
It was a small number for bees, but a bizarrely large number for humans. He’d tried to reduce it…… Not knowing human standards well, Rou surreptitiously gauged Brukisel’s reaction. Sure enough. Brukisel had an incredulous expression.
Well, there did exist a space where people called each other siblings even without sharing blood. Namely, orphanages that protected children who had lost their parents. He’d heard that orphanages under the temple’s jurisdiction raised children of similar ages like siblings. Then it wouldn’t be strange.
Perhaps taking Brukisel’s silence as he organized his thoughts in some other way, Rou quickly added:
“I-it’s true! Though my sisters have already been embraced in the goddess’s arms…… the time I lived with my sisters is real!”
Brukisel paused at the part about already being embraced in the goddess’s arms. Rou often spoke mature words that didn’t match his youthful appearance. Each time, Brukisel thought that sense of disparity was awkward and ridiculous. He dismissed it thinking that Rou was merely reciting passages written somewhere and knew how to use them appropriately, but couldn’t fathom their deep meaning.
Was the reason he sometimes spoke like an old soul and was surprisingly optimistic about the world because he’d witnessed countless deaths before his eyes from a young age?
“Your sisters have already been embraced in the goddess’s arms?”
“Ah…… My sisters…… had a hard time enduring long. They were born with naturally short lifespans.”
After being chosen as a spirit, Rou could only watch from the side as the sisters he lived with aged. He himself was fine since he stayed in the goddess’s embrace, but the sisters who were ordinary bumblebees couldn’t remain on earth as long as Rou, unlike him.
“……”
Brukisel firmly closed his mouth. Many thoughts crossed his mind. Born with short lifespans. Did that mean they were born with chronic illnesses? No, if they grew up in an orphanage in the first place, they might have naturally contracted nameless diseases while growing up. Because it was such a poor place.
Those who were born and raised together. Though it was a tragedy that all twelve of them died. Looking at Rou’s weak body, it wasn’t hard to believe either.
“But they looked peaceful when they closed their eyes. Because they could return to the goddess. Because the goddess made sure my sisters were doing well, I’m fine.”
The goddess didn’t want to see Rou grieve, so she released all his sisters into paradise. Thanks to that, Rou could always encounter familiar bumblebees there. The sisters flying around in paradise looked happy. Because there was no strife or conflict there, the sisters could simply be happy.
Perhaps recalling that sight, Rou was smiling brightly before he knew it. Watching that smile, Brukisel hesitantly opened his mouth.
“Then……”
“Yes?”
“No, never mind.”
Brukisel was about to ask if he could meet his sisters when he went to paradise, but closed his mouth. He didn’t want to remind him of what he’d given up, or that he himself was the very person who made him give it up.
Now he knew that Rou hadn’t simply grown like a hothouse flower. That he had a more painful past than expected, but even so, he wouldn’t be accustomed to cruel scenes.
He didn’t know even half of what he’d done. Of course he would have heard people talking about it, but it was natural not to deeply realize what one had done through imagination alone.
Brukisel looked up at Rou. In the fresh greenhouse, water condensed on the ceiling occasionally fell. As small droplets fell like fine rain, Rou placed his palm over Brukisel’s eyes. The droplets hit Rou’s small hand and shattered into beads.
Rou looked down at Brukisel with a benevolent smile. That smile overflowed with love and mercy, as if he would forgive whatever misdeeds were committed.
‘I wonder if he can keep that face?’
Rou hadn’t been in those situations. When killing the Emperor, when in the middle of the battlefield, Rou hadn’t been there. If he’d seen him covered in blood in the middle of slaughter, he couldn’t have easily said such words.
Could he keep that face even after seeing him soaked in blood? How long could that affection last? Even after knowing everything, could he still call him kind and gentle? Brukisel became curious about that.
The opportunity to test him came quickly.
The short but abundant summer. The number of beasts harming them increased as much as the swollen number of sheep. The custom of nobles risking threats to take up spears and bows to kill beasts and protect the people had been distorted and was being carried out like an event.
The one who caught the largest game in Millebois Forest near the imperial palace gained the opportunity to offer that game as a sacrifice to the goddess. Since that game was offered as a burnt offering along with the most fragrant flowers that bloomed that year, it also came with the honor of being able to light the game surrounded by flowers.
Until now it had been an event he had no interest in and only found tedious. But Brukisel looked forward to that hunt for the first time. He wanted to confirm whether Rou would truly not regret his choice, even covered in others’ blood, even ruthlessly slaughtering.
