It hurts. It really hurts.
The first thing Raon felt was pain. It felt like someone was methodically hammering him from head to toe. There was a limit to spitting out the sand that filled his mouth. There was so much sand he couldn’t even swallow his saliva.
Whether sand had gotten in his eyes too, tears streamed down with the pain and he couldn’t even open his eyes properly.
Around the time the question arose whether he was dead or still alive, he heard Bbobbo’s sound, “Ppiyooong!” You didn’t even appear when I was desperately searching and calling for you, so are you here to listen to my last words before I die? But what do I do, I’m in too much pain right now to even speak.
“Kang Raon. What should I do with you?”
Someone’s muttering heard beyond Bbobbo’s sound was the last thing Raon heard.
* * *
He opened his eyes, but the focus wasn’t properly set. His mouth was so dry that there wasn’t a single drop of saliva pooled in his mouth to moisten his stinging mouth and throat. Is anyone there? Bbobbo definitely came, and it seemed someone was with it then.
Raon, who had been trying to move his head, entrusted his body to the hands that wrapped around his body and lifted his upper body to hold him. At the cold sensation touching his lips, he hastily parted his lips.
Water. Cold water.
Unlike his desperate feelings, lukewarm water flowed a little into his mouth. More, more… Even if not cold, he craved enough water to quench his thirst at once.
“I know you’re thirsty. But little by little.”
When he opened his mouth wider, Raon tried to reach out toward the water cup that moved away instead. Then pain arose from his body.
“I’ll feed you slowly, so don’t fuss. Two left ribs are broken, and three on the right are cracked. Your ankle isn’t broken but the muscles were strained so you have a half-cast on, your forehead is split too, and serious bruises everywhere are the basics, I guess?”
Listening to the content contained in the familiar voice, Raon released the strength from the hand he’d been trying to lift. Right. I get that I’m injured, so give me more water. Being in pain is one thing, but before that, I’m dying of thirst.
Unlike his desire to gulp down water desperately, Raon was able to finish drinking one cup of water over several times according to the other person’s will. Raon stared blankly as the other person, who adjusted the bed’s incline to make him lie down leaning with his upper body raised instead of laying him back down, moved away.
It wasn’t a hospital with its characteristic alcohol smell and all-white bland interior, and since there was nothing familiar, it wasn’t his bedroom either, and definitely not a hotel.
“Chwi chwi!”
When something flapping noisily flew dizzily in front of his eyes, Raon cursed inwardly. The last thing I saw was really Bbobbo and Jaehwi? Not Hyukjin and the team members? Raon, who saw Jaehwi, who had been away for a moment, approach and sit on the bed, lowered his gaze.
“What should I do?”
He expected to be scolded. Or maybe sneered at saying he knew this would happen. He was told not to go alone, but he went alone. And was discovered by him right before dying. But feeling Jaehwi’s tightly locked voice and heavily sunken mood, Raon just stared at the back of his hand where the IV needle was inserted.
“If you don’t want to go with me, there are plenty of Espers and Guides at the center. Use your authority as team leader to make a dedicated team or something. Do you understand now why I said not to go to dungeons alone? The sand turned into stems and swung you around every time you got up, right? That happened because it was a low-grade dungeon, and if you go to high-grade ones, they become sandworms. Don’t even think about getting angry at Bbobbo. It’s also a low-grade dungeon master, so it doesn’t have the ability to save Team Leader.”
An explanation like comforting a startled child continued. While doing so, Jaehwi touched something while looking at the IV bottle. Seeing the pain uncomfortably remaining in his body gradually disappear, he probably added more painkillers.
“This is my house, and it’s not far from that dungeon. It came out of the dungeon and came all the way to my house looking for me. After I arrived, people from the center came too, and I said Team Leader wanted to go to the dungeon so we went together, but I failed to take care of you.”
…Crazy. Would people believe that?
If only his voice had come out properly, he would have said so right away, but Raon was so absurd that he lifted his head to look at him, conveying his feelings that way.
As if knowing it didn’t make sense even after saying it himself, Jaehwi chuckled. Raon took the mug Jaehwi offered. When he’d just woken up, even moving his fingertips was difficult, but now he could hold a mug with both hands. And he put some water in his mouth and slowly rolled it around.
“You were simply treated at the center’s treatment center. It’s been two days since you came out of the dungeon. Are you done with what you were roughly curious about?”
At the timing when Jaehwi, who hadn’t been looking at Raon while speaking, turned his head with a sigh, Raon couldn’t turn his head away. Meeting those calmly sunken eyes, it felt like the thirst that had disappeared arose again.
“Thank you.”
His voice didn’t come out properly, but it was enough to convey his meaning.
“I said if you’d drink with me, let’s go to dungeons together, but did you hate going with me that much? I thought you’d answer, but there was no reply. Then I’ll drink with you whenever you want, so at least promise you’ll go to dungeons with other people instead of me. No matter how I look at it, you definitely won’t listen to that one thing about not going to dungeons.”
“I contacted you.”
At Jaehwi’s words that he hadn’t replied, Raon reached out toward him and then clenched his fist. He was right in front of him, within reach if he stretched out his hand, but his words that he disliked contact came to mind. He’d already touched him several times without permission, but that was when he forgot or wasn’t thinking straight. Even with this clear memory, Raon wasn’t unreasonable enough to do an action he disliked.
“I see. If Team Leader says you contacted me, then you must have.”
It was Raon who became urgent at the expression with only one corner of his mouth rising crookedly and the self-deprecating voice.
“I really did. After you left like that, on the way back alone in the car.”
“Do you even know my number?”
“It’s 010-XXXX-XXXX.”
“That’s not my number, whose number is that then?”
Jay told me, so whose contact information did Jay give? Raon, frowning, asked him for the number. And he closed his mouth at the number he taught him. The number he’d made for him last time. The number with the matching last digits flowed from Jaehwi’s mouth.
Could Jaehwi also… But he couldn’t readily jump to conclusions. Phone numbers are given randomly… Whether it was when he made it for him back then or made it now, it was a similar time, so that number could coincidentally have gone to him.
“…What did you contact me about?”
“One drinking session for one dungeon accompaniment.”
At the throbbing head, Raon stopped thinking and answered honestly.
“That was a condition I could fully accept. I’ll drink as much as you want, so let’s go to dungeons together. That’s it, right?”
“Before that, hear why you’re so kind to me. You said we’re as good as strangers with nothing but meeting at NCSC when we were young. For me, I wander around like this, unable to get my bearings because I have so many feelings left for young Jaehwi, but you have no reason to do that.”
“Team Leader, you like me.”
At the fastball coming in with no cushion, Raon’s eyes widened. Even if a person would inevitably notice unless they were a fool, no one says it this openly. As expected, even though he was worked as a dungeon Esper at NCSC, it was clear his socialization hadn’t been done properly.
“What does that have to do with your attitude?”
“Is there anyone who would hate someone who likes them? Of course it would be troublesome if the other person was a stalker, but Team Leader isn’t that bad. And I understand the reason you like me. At Donghae too, and with those actions that make people flustered, I know at the bottom of it is a heart that worries about me, so how can I be angry? That’s why I said it first. What should I do? What do you really want me to do?”
“…Meet a good Guide and don’t be in pain, enter dungeons moderately but don’t get hurt. Something like that. Do everything you want to do, eat everything you want to eat. Go everywhere you want to go. You can’t become ordinary, but live like an ordinary person.”
“Am I in the future you just described, Team Leader?”
Did he pick a proper day today? Each time he gave an answer he thought was correct but with his own feelings removed as much as possible, Jaehwi dug into the subtle gaps and struck the vital point.
“Of course. You’re telling me exactly where my position is right now. Unless I quit the center or you contract with another center and leave, I’ll remain as Team Leader Kang. You’ll be tied up like that as Esper Min.”
“And then sometimes impulsively follow me where I deploy, and guide me recklessly without thinking ahead?”
“I won’t do that when you get an official Guide. If you even form a bond with that Guide, I really shouldn’t do that. So when you get your Guide, speak honestly about what hurts and what’s hard and get properly guided. You’re always covering your whole body with black clothes, so I didn’t even know your skin was in that state. Are you always like that? Are you okay now?”
Raon examined Jaehwi’s upper body, still wearing a neat black long-sleeved round-neck t-shirt. Though it was all covered by clothes so he couldn’t see even if he tried to look. Wondering if he was in pain again, the fingertips he extended toward him couldn’t even touch the edge of Jaehwi’s clothes.
“Stop talking and sleep now. You won’t be that hungry since you got an IV, so next time you wake up, we’ll eat together then.”
Jaehwi, who stood up, touched the IV side again, and Raon, who had wanted to talk more, fell into sleep that instantly engulfed his body.
