At the absurd words, Go Seok-jun, who had nearly died just moments ago, laughed emptily without any substance. The police officer was sprawled on the street like a drunk, while some civilian was doing patrol. Even bringing along a patrol dog.
“Oh right, Sang-eun-ah. I misunderstood earlier. I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
Even though his tone in responding was curt, Baek Sang-eun’s expression as he stroked the glossy-coated retriever’s head was endlessly gentle.
“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on what you guys were talking about, but something about putting a dog in water… So I misunderstood thinking you ate someone’s dog.”
“Ah.”
“Is that your dog?”
“Yes. Someone abandoned it at the port, so I’m raising it.”
Unlike its fierce-looking owner, the smiling-faced dog wagged its tail gently. When Go Seok-jun made a “pspsps” sound, the dog walked closer with light steps. But soon the leash became taut and the dog obediently returned to Baek Sang-eun’s side.
“When are you going back, Uncle?”
The overly polite and respectful question of when he was “going back” sounded exactly like “when are you going to die?” The person who wanted to go back right now more than anyone was Go Seok-jun himself. That’s why he drunkenly put his foot on the tetrapod. Because if you fall into the tetrapods, the probability of coming out alive is extremely low.
“Well. I want to go back quickly too.”
“Is… Auntie waiting for you?”
“Auntie? Ahahaha! What auntie? By the way, why didn’t you come to my wedding?”
“Because Uncle didn’t invite me.”
There was a hint of whining in his voice. No matter how big and dark he’d gotten, and even though he’d made a lot of money and become the village boss, in Go Seok-jun’s eyes he was still a baby.
“We’re family, so you should come even without an invitation, punk.”
“Family, what family.”
“Is that why you didn’t come to Grandma’s funeral either? Because we’re not family?”
He said that, but Baek Sang-eun was better than family. Go Seok-jun felt deflated by the clear fact that when his hyung was in trouble, the person he sought help from wasn’t him but a guy nine years younger. He deliberately spat out hurtful words, but Sang-eun didn’t even pretend to listen. I thought I had no more pride to hurt, but just when I thought I’d hit rock bottom, there was a basement.
Everything was just a mess. His hyung who’d somehow gotten into huge debt wasn’t great, he himself who was family but couldn’t help his hyung at all wasn’t great, and the fact that he was divorced but couldn’t bring himself to tell his hyung wasn’t great either.
Go Seok-jun trembled with surging self-loathing. There was only one way to shake off this loathing. Just as he’d told his hyung—to give Baek Sang-eun money, take back the house, and shoulder his hyung’s debt. To restore his dignity as family, as a man, and so on. Go Seok-jun carefully asked Baek Sang-eun, desperately praying that too large a sum wouldn’t come out of his mouth.
“Sang-eun-ah, that… the house. How much did you pay my hyung for it?”
“Why?”
“Why? Because you took on a house you don’t even need. I’ll buy it back, so you—”
“Why would I sell it? I haven’t even owned it that long.”
“What? Why would a young guy buy a countryside house? Did you register it? You didn’t, right? If it’s your first home purchase, there are lots of benefits. Buy somewhere with investment value. Or put in for a new apartment lottery. Did you even set up a housing subscription account?”
While one side was passionately arguing, Baek Sang-eun didn’t even pretend to listen and was just playing with his dog. When Go Seok-jun closed his mouth, the sea quickly became quiet. Only the voices of drunk people buzzed in the distance.
“Must be nice knowing so much. When you tap here on me, it goes ‘thunk.'”
Lightly tapping his own head with his palm, Baek Sang-eun raised one corner of his mouth crookedly. Go Seok-jun was flustered. It didn’t quite go ‘thunk,’ but his head really did seem empty.
Ah. Our precious Sang-eun has ended up like this. He nodded his head in subtle agreement, thinking he’d get hit if he said that out loud.
“To city people’s eyes, I must look like an ignorant country bumpkin throwing money around.”
“No, Sang-eun-ah. That’s not what I meant, Uncle is doing this for your sake—”
“For my sake, what are you doing for my sake? This is ridiculous.”
He couldn’t understand why Baek Sang-eun was being so rude. Throughout his childhood, he’d devoted himself solely to caring for and raising Baek Sang-eun—did Sang-eun even know that? There was no credit for taking care of the kid, and they say you shouldn’t take in a black-haired beast—those words weren’t wrong.
“Ha. How dare you glare at your uncle? Speak respectfully.”
When he lowered his voice and scolded sharply, Baek Sang-eun immediately lowered his eyes, his earlier momentum gone. No matter how much taller and bigger Baek Sang-eun had grown than Go Seok-jun, the positions between Go Seok-jun and Baek Sang-eun hadn’t changed.
Feeling sorry for his cowed appearance, Go Seok-jun softened his eyes and put his arm around Baek Sang-eun’s shoulder. It was Go Seok-jun who later said with his own mouth the ‘honeypot investigation’ phrase he’d so hated hearing. Anyway, if that was also a weapon, wasn’t it a weapon?
“Don’t act up and take Uncle home. I’m having a hard time because I drank.”
Baek Sang-eun answered by unleashing the leash and letting the dog go first. The golden dog with a glossy coat wagged its tail and ran forward. As if it knew where to go.
“Where do you live, Sang-eun? Do you still live with Jeong-ho hyung? Or did you move out?”
“What’s this? Are you interested in me? Jackpot.”
“You little punk, so prickly. When you were young, you acted like you’d die without Uncle, so why are you suddenly acting so mean?”
At the drunk ajusshi’s silly laughing words, Baek Sang-eun, who hadn’t responded much, suddenly stopped walking. When he pulled the leash taut, the large retriever also obediently stopped.
“Our Ari too, was originally tied up at the port by her owner to die, but she didn’t die.”
Baek Sang-eun’s murmuring voice spread low in the quiet alley. The dog that had run ahead stopped first in front of the house. The dog had a smiling face, seemingly quite satisfied with the night walk. Its pitch-black eyes sparkled like pebbles in the darkness.
“Your dog’s name is Ari?”
“Sleep well.”
As expected, he didn’t answer the question. Baek Sang-eun moved far away. Go Seok-jun stood there and lit a cigarette. He quietly watched the gradually shrinking back. Chap-chap. Even the sound of the dog’s footsteps disappeared beyond the vanishing point.
***
Chap-chap. It was the sound of Baek Sang-eun running to meet the time when Go Seok-jun got off the bus. The bus Go Seok-jun rode was the only public transportation that came from Yongju town center into Misong Port. Even that ran only once every two hours, so he had to rush to the bus stop as soon as the closing ceremony ended.
There were days he wanted to stop by the arcade in town with his friends, but if he did that, there would obviously be a huge fuss. Chap-chap. The little one who didn’t even reach Go Seok-jun’s waist came running and hugged him.
“Uncle!”
On rainy days, he’d crouch under the gate waiting, and on nice days, he’d come out to the bus stop to wait. The five-year-old child ran around the seaside village like it was his own front yard. But it was a child who didn’t go to his own home. Since Baek Sang-eun’s father went far away to catch squid, Baek Sang-eun naturally lived as if Go Seok-jun’s house—that is, Wolseon Guesthouse—was his own home.
First year of middle school, Go Seok-jun, who had just barely passed 160cm, lifted Baek Sang-eun up. The baby rubbed his soft hair against Go Seok-jun’s shoulder with his thumb in his mouth.
Noona went to university in Seoul, hyung worked at the auction house, and Grandma worked at the supermarket. Baek Sang-eun stayed at the supermarket with Grandma all day, then came out to the bus stop to meet Go Seok-jun’s return time. The first few times, he walked holding Grandma’s or the neighborhood adults’ hands, but by the time summer vacation came around, he came by himself.
Go Seok-jun threw his school bag on the detached room’s wooden porch and dangled the plastic bag in his hand. It was a velcro catch ball he’d bought from the stationery store in front of school.
It wasn’t even a toy he’d carefully chosen after deliberation. The neon green and pink rackets had just caught his eye. He was tired of the anime the five-year-old baby liked, and tired of the picture books the baby, who had learned to read letters haltingly, repeatedly read. It was 5,000 won, but for a fourteen-year-old, it was quite an impulse buy.
“Let’s play this with Uncle.”
“Good! Good!”
Watching Baek Sang-eun bounce up and down waving his short limbs, Go Seok-jun raised one corner of his mouth crookedly. Without even knowing what it is. You’d be happy whatever I suggested doing.
Sometimes he felt sadistic. Maybe he wanted to test him. Do you still like me even if I do this?
“You have to throw gently—!”
Baek Sang-eun endlessly ran around picking up the ball Go Seok-jun threw carelessly. Even so, the bright smile never left his pretty face. Feeling sorry for going all out against a mere five-year-old baby, Go Seok-jun threw the ball with enough strength that the baby could catch it. After several attempts, when the ball stuck to the velcro on the racket with a smack, Baek Sang-eun came running again and hugged him tightly.
“Uncle! Sang-eun caught the ball—!”
Baek Sang-eun grabbed his thigh and looked up. Go Seok-jun was reflected like a mirror in those pitch-black, large eyes. Suddenly, it tickled inside his ribcage.
No matter how meanly I act, you’ll eventually come and hug me.
You love me more than anything in this world. More than your favorite cartoon character, more than a tyrannosaurus, more than a container truck, more than a ship that floats leisurely making a “boooo—” sound.
Go Seok-jun felt fulfilled. The love he gave to Baek Sang-eun was only a part of the whole, but the baby’s love was blind and unconditional. Waiting for Go Seok-jun all day, then hugging him when he returned, sitting with their bottoms stuck together reading books, drawing pictures, eating snacks.
‘Sang-eun and Uncle!’
Sometimes he’d draw some random skeleton-like thing and present it as a gift. Go Seok-jun stroked Baek Sang-eun’s round back of the head.
“Uncle! Let’s do it again! Again!”
“Ah, I’m getting a bit tired of it now… Isn’t another game fun?”
“Uncleee— Catch ball is the most fun!”
Until that winter came, he played catch ball with Baek Sang-eun. The baby didn’t get tired, didn’t get bored. Doing the same thing again and again.
Only after running around the yard with Baek Sang-eun until death did he put Baek Sang-eun in a rubber basin to wash him clean. Go Seok-jun, whose secondary sex characteristics hadn’t prominently appeared until his first year of middle school, played in the water with Baek Sang-eun with his nearly hairless, bare body.
“Kahahaha—!”
