He was just catching his breath when Baek Sang-eun opened the door and came in. He must have run urgently because his hair was disheveled.
“What are you doing right now!”
Without even catching his panting breath, he started tearing through the boxes Go Seok-jun had finally packed. The clothes he wore as a child scattered in all directions and the box corners were all torn.
Go Seok-jun had to watch Baek Sang-eun go crazy without knowing why. His slightly open mouth wouldn’t close either.
“Where are you going again? It’s only been a few days since you said you weren’t going anywhere, so why are you packing? You said you wouldn’t go. Why, why are you packing!”
After turning the house into a mess, Baek Sang-eun panted. His two eyes full of anger glistened. His hair was also a total mess.
“I’m not going. I said I’m not going… Are you really sick somewhere?”
“Haa, ha…”
“These are clothes I wore when I was little. There’s no space to put clothes so I’m clearing them out, what are you anxious about again?”
“Really? Then what…”
As soon as Go Seok-jun said he wasn’t going, Baek Sang-eun grinned like a butcher hooligan. The tears shimmering in his eyes sparkled in the fluorescent light. His thick, dense eyelashes clumped with tears that hadn’t even fallen. The lower eyelashes were the same.
“Then what? You turn Uncle’s room into a mess and then what comes out? Huh?”
“Uncle, please stay still. I’ll clean it all up.”
Without a chance to answer, he neatly folded the clothes and transferred them back into the box. His hands were so fast, he thought he came from a moving center. Watching Baek Sang-eun organize the clothes with precision like a laundry folding machine, then tear the tape with his teeth to stick it on the box, his mouth opened again.
“Dust will get in your mouth. Close your mouth.”
I can’t tell if that bastard is treating me like an uncle or like a neighborhood punk. After clearing his throat once with a “hmm,” he scowled for no reason.
“Hey you bastard, why the hell are you hanging other people’s underwear in the yard? Do you need to show off underwear to the whole neighborhood?”
“It kept raining. It needs to be dried thoroughly in the sunlight to disinfect. I hand-washed everything.”
Disinfect. Go Seok-jun squeezed his eyes shut and tilted his head back slightly. His head ached because of Baek Sang-eun. On top of that, he hand-washed someone else’s underwear—he couldn’t even decide whether to be angry or laugh at this.
He opened his eyes wide enough to make his eye sockets hollow. Don’t get angry, don’t get angry. Even if he’s a bit lacking, the kid is good-natured.
“Okay. You suffered. Uncle should give our Sang-eun some allowance.”
“I’ll gratefully accept it.”
The room became clean in an instant. Go Seok-jun rummaged through his bag while sitting on the bed. Following his hyung’s teaching that a man should carry at least 100,000 won in cash, there were two 50,000 won bills in his wallet. He took out one and held it out to Baek Sang-eun.
Baek Sang-eun bowed his waist and received the money with both hands. Like a day laborer receiving his daily wage from a foreman.
“You should eat dinner.”
“Yeah. I’m hungry.”
“The moon is bright outside, shall we go night fishing? There are lots of fish after rain.”
“Ugh, hey. I don’t ride boats.”
Even though he was from a fishing village, Go Seok-jun was afraid of the sea. To be precise, he was afraid of riding a boat itself. In Go Seok-jun’s mind, riding a boat was similar to crossing the Sanzu River. Why would a living person ride a boat?
Of course, Baek Sang-eun and the people of Yongju made money by going out on boats. The probability of them not returning after going out to sea was remarkably low. However, if any accident happened to oneself, it was a 100 percent probability.
The death of his parents that he couldn’t even remember anymore still held Go Seok-jun’s ankles. His parents died because of the greeting that came out of his mouth. In Misong Port, they don’t say greetings like “Have a safe trip.” Because of the superstition that if you tell someone getting on a boat to come back safely, they won’t return.
With that one greeting wishing them a safe trip, in the end they couldn’t come back safely. If he, such a person, got on a boat, he surely wouldn’t return safely either. Baek Sang-eun grabbed Go Seok-jun’s wrist with his mouth firmly shut and shook it gently. It was a gesture like a child begging to play.
“Everything tastes good when you eat it on the sea. We can boil ramen, and if we catch fish we can eat sashimi too. I’ll do everything for you.”
“I’ll just wait at the port and eat the fish you catch. Go catch some.”
“Are you scared of riding a boat?”
“Who said I’m scared!”
Go Seok-jun flared up at the simple question. It felt like he’d been caught thinking he was scared. Already pathetic, and being a man who’s too scared to even ride a boat was embarrassing, so his voice rose without him realizing it.
“Wait at home and eat the fish I catch. That’s also like lovers. Ah. Is that married couples?”
He thought he’d dealt with quite a few people who weren’t in their right minds during his police work, but Baek Sang-eun’s mental state was on a dimension he simply couldn’t handle.
He bit down hard on his molars and changed from his suit to light casual clothes. He also wore sneakers in case he might slip. Seeing Go Seok-jun who had changed clothes, Baek Sang-eun blushed and grinned. He seemed crazy.
The night at the port was darker than the city, darker than the town center. Near the harbor, it was a city that never sleeps with grilled clam restaurants and raw fish restaurants, but the port where small fishing boats anchored was different. When the ice factory and fish market lights went out, it was virtually the same as the entire village turning off their lights.
The white and red lighthouses emitted light with long wavelengths. In front of them was Aunt Bong-seon’s food cart, and several other aunts’ food carts lined up in a row.
Go Seok-jun walked silently side by side with Baek Sang-eun. The first day he came down to his hometown, he couldn’t say anything when walking this road with his hyung either. It was truly a road that made people anxious. That day too, the full moon was this bright.
Baek Sang-eun’s steps stopped in front of a bollard. Even in the dark surroundings, the red rust was clearly visible. Go Seok-jun turned on his phone flashlight to illuminate the bollard. Baek Sang-eun untied the rope with his bare hands without even wearing gloves.
At the wharf, several boats were docked waiting to depart. Most went out fishing in the pitch-black night or at dawn. Deokjin-ho, Jinju-ho, World-ho… As he recited the names attached to the sides of the boats, Go Seok-jun’s gaze reached the boat whose rope was being untied.
“Is there a Baeksang Shark No. 2 too?”
“No, not yet.”
Baek Sang-eun, who skillfully untied the rope, got on the boat first. From the moment the boat swayed with his weight, cold sweat ran down his spine. The short-sleeved t-shirt he wore under his jumper stuck to him.
Can I get on? If I get on the boat, will nothing happen? If I get on the boat now and just fall into the sea… If I get on a boat, I’ll definitely fall in the water and die. The moment I step on it, the boat will tilt and capsize, unable to bear my weight.
Even after seeing Baek Sang-eun return safely on this boat before, Go Seok-jun couldn’t relax. Strength left his legs and he trembled all the way to his fingertips. His heartbeat was loud enough to hear in his ears. Baek Sang-eun stood at the end of the boat looking at him.
‘This year, it would be dangerous to go near water.’
The cult man’s voice rang clearly in his ears. I raged about wanting to die, but when actually faced with death, my body stiffens—people are this cunning.
Why? What’s precious enough that you’d regret dying now? In the nearly forty years you’ve lived, do you have achievements worth regretting losing? You have nothing. Rather, if I died in a boat accident and got insurance money, hyung could pay back the money under the name of “house sale money” to Baek Sang-eun, then the house wouldn’t be taken by the Baeks, and when Go Du-ri returns for the funeral, she could at least stretch out her legs and sleep in the house.
Ah. There are a few more. If she hears her ex-husband died, my ex-wife would spend the rest of her life very happily and comfortably. The senior police officer who stuck me in Yongju would come to the condolence, pretend to dab tears a few times, then turn around and say it worked out well, that Go Seok-jun was the only one who took back money while cracking down on establishments, that bastard was the only one who wasn’t human in our organization, asserting his innocence.
Even Baek Sang-eun. If only I weren’t here, there’d be no one claiming ownership or occupying a room without paying a single won of rent in the house that’s now become the Baeks’ house. His thoughts kept racing to extremes.
Let’s just get on the boat and die, he thought, yet he couldn’t easily lift his foot. He just needed to take one step forward, but that single step was this difficult. His trembling legs suddenly buckled. Go Seok-jun’s face turned pale white as he hugged the bollard. He wasn’t even conscious of acting like an idiot.
Baek Sang-eun, who bowed his head once more to make exact eye contact with Go Seok-jun, spread his long legs wide and stepped boldly onto land. He still held the rope in one hand.
“Are you very scared? We don’t have to fish. Shall we go to the food cart?”
“…”
“I said we don’t have to do it?”
Baek Sang-eun smiled softly and held out his hand. He waited obediently for Go Seok-jun in that state.
The lukewarm and sticky wind between spring and summer swept between the two. It was wind mixed with a salty smell. A boat horn sounded long from the distant sea, and the sound of splashing waves was heard regularly.
In the end, Go Seok-jun forced himself to get up. He inhaled deeply into his lungs. A certain resolve lingered on his face as he placed one foot on the boat.
Even though it looked like it was standing still, the boat endlessly swayed according to the movement of the waves. He quickly lifted his foot at the vibration felt on the soles of his feet. It was when he’d done that about ten times.
“At this rate the sun will rise. Are you getting on or not?”
“…I’m getting on.”
“Then does it have to be with Uncle’s own feet?”
In an instant, Go Seok-jun’s body floated. Baek Sang-eun shouldered Go Seok-jun like carrying a fertilizer sack and boldly stepped onto the boat. The person turned upside down couldn’t see the pitch-black seawater. Only the full moon that had swallowed even the starlight shone brightly.
Baek Sang-eun set Go Seok-jun down gently in the pilothouse. On one side of the pilothouse already complicated with all kinds of machinery, crude dolls even hung in clusters. These days students also hang dolls on their school bags—Baek Sang-eun only lived in the countryside, but he did everything kids these days do.
The whole situation was embarrassing. Trembling saying he was scared of riding a boat. Not enough, even being carried by him. He poked at one of the dolls for no reason.
“Isn’t this a possessed doll?”
Not only was one eyeball dangling about to fall off any moment, but the seam had burst and cotton was about to squeeze out. It was a doll that had been handled for so long that it wasn’t just stained with hand oils but worn down.
“That…”
“Did you get it as a gift from your first love or something?”
“Yes.”
“Ooh. How old were you? Tell Uncle too. Baek Sang-eun is also a man after all.”
“Ah, I can’t concentrate. I’m going to depart so stop chattering.”
