“Ah, really? Then let’s wash together. It’s nice bathing with Sang-eun after such a long time…”
What’s so nice about it? His forced smile trembled. He was grateful for the concern, but was it really necessary to follow him all the way to the bathhouse?
To Go Seok-jun, he had always been the one in a superior position, but in the sauna where cars, social status, and even rank insignias were all stripped away, he couldn’t assert such hierarchy. In the wild, hierarchy came from body size.
Baek Sang-eun was no longer the baby whose body he used to wash in a rubber basin filled with water. Though he’d seen him naked hundreds of times, it wasn’t easy to connect the Baek Sang-eun in his memory with the one in reality.
The glimpse he caught of Baek Sang-eun’s member… and even the dark pubic hair swaying in the water felt embarrassingly masculine, as if he’d seen something he shouldn’t have. He’d expected it given the guy’s large build, but this was beyond just a weapon.
“Uh, hey. Sang-eun-ah. You, um…”
For some reason, his member was twitching and raising its head. Go Seok-jun quickly reached out and grabbed a rolling basin.
“Must be good blood circulation from being in warm water. Right?”
He tossed out a joke after handing over the basin, worried it might be awkward. Baek Sang-eun scratched his cheek with an uncharacteristically innocent face.
The friends he used to boil chicken with had messy tattoos all over their forearms, so he’d vaguely expected Baek Sang-eun to be the same, but aside from scars, he was clean without a single tattoo. He did have quite a few scars, but not enough to be unsightly.
His gaze traveling upward lingered long on the face. Usually, how should he put it—he had a rough edge to him. After all, he was someone who chose work over studying, so naturally he had a somewhat rough side. It was partly because of accessories like the multiple piercings dangling from him or flashy sunglasses.
But Baek Sang-eun, stripped of all his adornments and only dampened with moisture, even gave off a pure feeling. Despite his skin pulled taut along his jawline without any sagging and well-built muscles shouting masculinity. Especially those thick chest muscles—they were a work of art. A build that money couldn’t buy.
“Your chest.”
“Yes?”
Words that didn’t pass through his brain just popped out carelessly. If he hadn’t covered his mouth with his palm, he almost would have made some harassment like, “Your chest is fucking art, can I touch it?” Like those dirty old men who spew such jokes.
Though he somehow glossed over the slip of the tongue, he couldn’t stop his eyes from stealing glances at Baek Sang-eun’s body. Talk about being pathetic.
“What about my chest?”
“No! It’s nothing.”
“Is it too big…?”
Baek Sang-eun muttered while squeezing and releasing his own chest. Red handprints remained on his chest. It was an obscene body. Go Seok-jun rationalized that he was crazy from lack of sleep, that surely when people are in extreme situations, lewd thoughts come first for survival. Though two nights without sleep wasn’t exactly an extreme situation.
“With a face like that and a body like this, you must have a truckload of women who like you, right?”
“Not quite a truckload. Maybe a farm tractor’s worth?”
Again with another uncharacteristic joke, he burst out laughing loud enough to echo through the bathhouse. Right, you’re a man too. Even Go Seok-jun, who had seen Baek Sang-eun as an asexual being, only recognized he was a man after seeing him naked. And once he did, sitting side by side naked became embarrassing.
“Should we get out now?”
Go Seok-jun slapped the water surface with his palm, splashing water before standing up. Having opened his pores in the hot bath, he needed to go into the sauna and sweat it all out. Then douse himself with refreshing cold water in the cold bath—that was Go Seok-jun’s bathing routine.
Baek Sang-eun stuck close behind Go Seok-jun, following him around like a burden. At one point, the guy’s huge member even bumped against his waist. Eventually, he opened the dry sauna door only to close it with the excuse that it was too hot. When they moved to their reserved spot, the guy took the seat next to him again.
“Shall I scrub your back?”
“Scrubbing damages your skin. I’m just going to soap up and leave. You can go scrub if you want. I’ll wait outside.”
Having come to the hot springs after so long, he wanted to spend more time in the sauna, soak in the various event baths, and wake himself up with cold water. But because of this guy following him around like a duckling, he couldn’t do anything.
Though he didn’t want to be conscious of it, the thing dangling between Baek Sang-eun’s legs was embarrassing. It was clearly different from the kind Go Seok-jun had known until now. Unless he was an idiot, he couldn’t help but notice that men’s gazes had been fixed on Baek Sang-eun for a while now.
It was better to get him out of here quickly. Baek Sang-eun wasn’t a child, but as his uncle, he had an obligation to protect his nephew.
He was putting on his underwear and drying his hair when Baek Sang-eun came out shortly after. With that member of his dangling. Go Seok-jun quickly looked away. Yet he couldn’t help but keep glancing at his body from the corner of his eye. After all, wasn’t it human instinct for one’s gaze to go toward something fascinating?
“You can’t just walk around exposing yourself like this.”
He grabbed a towel and tied it around his waist, but it was insufficient to hide the prominent volume. Baek Sang-eun slightly lowered his head to check his own member, then glanced sideways at Go Seok-jun. Though he was wearing underwear, the gaze lingered long, as if seeing through them. Feeling self-conscious, he ended up doing the foolish act of wrapping a towel over his underwear.
Baek Sang-eun’s dampened hair and reddened cheeks were strangely erotic. It felt strange that he kept stealing glances at him.
No, it’s not just me who’s strange—all the men here are looking at him with similar eyes, so this is a perfectly normal gaze. Though no one had said anything, he rationalized defensively, feeling guilty for no reason.
“Behave modestly wherever you are. People will misunderstand.”
“Yes.”
He made a stuffy old-man remark unsuited for a bathhouse as he applied cosmetics. Go Seok-jun always had a bath basket in his car. It was because of his picky preference for using only the products he was accustomed to. In one’s late thirties, one had to put all effort into protecting one’s skin, teeth, and hair.
Twenty-something Baek Sang-eun, who had no such desperation, opened the cap of the men’s skin toner provided at the bathhouse. Go Seok-jun grimaced and pushed his cosmetics toward Baek Sang-eun. Adding a nag to use proper products.
“Thank you.”
After scolding him once for not saying thanks, now he never failed to express gratitude. Perhaps because he was young, he was a fast learner. An unprecedented sense of efficacy rose up. Even trivial actions—the way he immediately imitated whatever Go Seok-jun did—was somehow satisfying.
“Uncle, dry my hair for me.”
“If I dry your long hair, when will I dry mine?”
Baek Sang-eun, who had been staring at the two of them reflected in the mirror for a while, picked up the hairdryer and started drying Go Seok-jun’s hair. He tried to stop him, but when the guy raised his arms, the height difference made it look ridiculous. He looked like he was having fun playing with an interesting toy, reflected in the mirror.
He hadn’t slept, his body was relaxed from the warm water, and someone was even drying his hair—his eyes slowly closed. He almost dozed off standing up. Driving to Misong Port like this would be dangerous.
“I need to sleep here a bit before going. Sang-eun-ah, you go carefully.”
The guy who obediently answered “yes” ended up following him to the resort again. They say people don’t change—this guy still hasn’t broken his three-year-old habit of following Go Seok-jun around.
Is it only people who don’t change? The resort hadn’t changed either. They said it was remodeled a few years ago, but it still had that old feeling. Still, beyond the crude space made to be a terrace, the blue waves of the East Sea shimmered gently. Some fishing boats were at work, small boats were moored at the harbor, and large vessels at the port.
Which boat does Baek Sang-eun ride? Somehow, he didn’t know anything about how Baek Sang-eun had lived or what he was doing now. Go Seok-jun leaned against the terrace glass door, making tapping sounds with his mouth. Looking anew at the guy sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs were truly long. When did those short legs grow so long? He felt moved by the sentiment.
“What are you doing these days, Sang-eun-ah?”
“At dawn, I go out on the boat, throw the nets, pull the nets, catch fish and sell them. Wash up, sleep a bit, and when I wake up, untangle the nets. If I have some energy left, I go in the water to pick abalone or sea cucumber. Octopus is expensive these days, so I catch octopus diligently too.”
“You spent all that hard-earned money buying that rotting house?”
“Not all of it.”
Similar to the hand motion Go Seok-jun made when getting out of the bath earlier, Baek Sang-eun patted the bed. Dust particles flew up. He had more to ask, but… his eyelids were heavy and his head wasn’t working. His mind went blank.
“Ah, I can’t hold on anymore. You get some sleep too.”
Without even the strength to keep his eyes open any longer, he flopped onto the bed. The mattress made a creaking sound and sank deeply in the direction Go Seok-jun lay. As soon as he blocked the light by covering his eyes with his forearm, he fell straight into sleep.
Even after Go Seok-jun fell asleep, Baek Sang-eun sat on the edge of the bed for a long while. After drawing the curtains, he lowered the arm that had been resting on Go Seok-jun’s face. He stood by his side, pondering for a long time. Should I lie next to him? No, should I watch a little more? Would it be okay to touch him just a little?
He tried to touch his index finger to those unusually long eyelashes but got startled and stepped back. The ring on his fourth finger had lost its luster and become dull, though he didn’t know when it had faded.
He quietly gazed at the bony hand. Go Seok-jun was sleeping without a care in the world. He carefully covered Go Seok-jun’s left hand with his own. It covered it completely, so much that the hand underneath couldn’t be seen.
For the first time, he hated that his body had grown this big. Because he couldn’t be held like when he was young. And because he couldn’t receive affection from Go Seok-jun like when he was young.
But now, there was nothing to be done about it. Once a fish enters a trap, it can rarely escape. Even highly intelligent octopuses are the same.
He stood blankly in the darkened room, looking down at Go Seok-jun. Only his defenseless sleeping face was bright. It was a face that had washed away all the fatigue that never left him for a day, and all the ennui that clung to his eyes.
#02. Wolseon Guesthouse
Even though unseasonable sunshine pours down at midday, it’s cool enough in the mornings and evenings that you need to wear a coat. If you just hold on a little longer, summer would begin before long. Each day, little by little, imperceptibly, the days grew longer.
Just before dawn, against the backdrop of a sky turning reddish, a boat came in leisurely. A young captain with very curly long hair fluttering tossed a mooring line with a swoosh. A fish market employee tied the rope to a bollard while greeting him. Following that, Baek Sang-eun, soaked in sweat and saltwater, got off the boat.
The fish market was as noisy as midday. The sound of booted feet walking with squelching sounds over puddles on the floor was quickly drowned out. Fishing boats that had just come in were taking out the fish they’d caught from the fish holds.
