Heichi, who had disappeared early in the morning saying he was going to meet his guide, returned earlier than expected. However, Heichi’s face was deathly pale when he returned to the battleship. AJ, who had been anxiously waiting for his superior, was startled when he saw Heichi and rushed over.
“Did something happen?”
“AJ.”
Heichi, who couldn’t even sit down and kept running one hand over his face, spoke in a voice full of despair.
“……I made a mistake.”
“Pardon? A mistake? What mistake? Don’t tell me you forcibly restrained him, or applied psychological pressure…!”
“My guide got hurt.”
Heichi’s voice as he said with his own mouth that he got hurt was so filled with despair that it even faintly revealed anger directed at himself. Meanwhile, AJ, shocked to hear that the Captain’s precious guide was hurt, asked in succession.
“How on earth did that happen?”
“I looked up something called ‘winter date spots for lovers’ using this planet’s information search function, and someone recommended a pojangmacha. My guide has limited time for nutrient intake due to labor activities, so I judged that a pojangmacha date would be most appropriate.”
AJ thought to himself, hoping that he hadn’t explained the reason to his guide in this same rambling way. His superior was very capable and had many respectable qualities from a work perspective, but from another perspective, he was a bit…….
“But the pojangmacha establishment form was a more harsh environment than I thought. They were selling liquid at 98 degrees Celsius, which is extremely dangerous for Earthlings’ thin skin, in an open space.”
“Ah, yes. Did you make a mistake while eating that?”
“As if. My guide…… Perhaps thinking my oral structure was as delicate as his own, he blew on that hot liquid directly with his mouth to cool it for me. He should have cooled his own. Anyway, I was grateful for that sentiment, so I tried to do the same for him. But in the process, I……”
Heichi, having said that much, scrubbed his face painfully as if distressed. Of course he did. Because the hot liquid spilled onto his guide’s hand before it could reach the air, and simultaneously as his guide’s face contorted, he let out a pained groan.
Seeing his guide in pain, Heichi learned for the first time in his life what the emotion called ‘feeling upset’ was. And he felt like he, called a Prime-class Esper, was an utterly useless existence.
If only he had the ability to turn back time precisely, he would have wanted to go back to that moment and make up for his mistake. Heichi despaired at his own incompetence.
“How did you make such a mistake? You could have easily eliminated that much liquid. No, actually, Captain, you didn’t even need to blow on hot liquid with your mouth to cool it, did you?”
“……Well.”
He couldn’t possibly say, even if it killed him, that he did it because he was happy that his guide, who didn’t even have superpowers, was worrying about him. His guide’s soft skin must be incomparably more delicate than his own, and yet that fragile guide of his had actually ‘blown’ on it to cool it for him.
Heichi, who had been speaking up to that point, finally shut his mouth. However, AJ said with a knowing expression, scrunching up one corner of his eye.
“I understand how you feel. There’s no Esper who would just watch their guide get hurt.”
“Haah……”
“Even I feel like my arm is being cut off on days when Kzar cuts his fingertip while slicing with a knife. Sometimes I wish I could give him my physical regeneration ability.”
At AJ’s extremely socially empathetic response, Heichi nodded repeatedly, saying that was exactly right. AJ’s words were spot on. After learning that Heewoo was in pain and that even a faint burn mark remained on his skin, Heichi wanted to tear off his own thick outer skin and attach it to him.
So this was why Espers all went crazy like lunatics with their eyes rolling back whenever something happened related to their guides.
Although Heichi’s fleet had a well-established command system, there were occasionally those who disobeyed orders. That was when something happened related to guides. Each time, Heichi had shown no leniency and immediately dealt with them according to space military law.
And yet, Heichi had a gut feeling that if something similar happened to him, his eyes would roll back and he would turn the entire universe upside down. This time it was just a simple burn, but if it wasn’t that, if someone deliberately attacked him…….
“Captain, so did you apologize?”
“……Apologize?”
“Yes. Apologize. Like I told you, Earthlings—no, this applies to us Espers too. When you commit a wrong, you must take appropriate measures accordingly.”
Apologize…….
Heichi’s mind worked busily. As Heichi recalled the events immediately after Heewoo got burned, he realized that he had been so flustered that he hadn’t even apologized. Moreover, Heewoo’s mood had seemed very low at that time. When he blatantly asked ‘are you upset,’ hadn’t he responded with ‘uh’ in informal speech he didn’t normally use?
At the mention that he had returned without apologizing, AJ scolded Heichi thoroughly. Normally, he wouldn’t have let AJ’s impudent attitude slide, but on that day, even Heichi was dejected and quietly composed himself. And although it was late, the single resolution that he must somehow ‘apologize’ took deep root in his mind.
* * *
The ‘apology’ that Heichi had enthusiastically prepared was, in a word, a spectacular failure.
Heichi, who had thought Heewoo would be pleased if he directly broke his own hand that had committed the wrong, intuited that something was wrong the moment he saw Heewoo’s face turn deathly pale at the sight of his hand. Originally, he had wanted to stay by his side somehow after apologizing, but the situation kept getting worse so he couldn’t even do that.
Heichi, who left the scene as if fleeing, threw a question to AJ via link and right there realized his mistake yet again. Heichi, who returned to the battleship, lamented with his face buried in both hands just like before.
“A mate is truly a difficult existence……”
“We have that saying on Epsilon too, don’t we? The probability of meeting your mate in this vast universe is slim, but winning their heart is even more difficult than finding a single star within a nebula.”
AJ looked at Heichi from beside him with an exasperated expression.
Honestly, just a few months ago—no, even a few days ago—he had watched his superior dying from being unable to find a guide and hoped anyone would do as long as his guide appeared, but now that he actually had a guide, his superior was hopelessly pathetic.
Then AJ suddenly recalled the time long ago when he had proposed to his guide Kzar. ……As he remembered himself making just as many mistakes as his superior, he quickly dismissed that thought.
“What should I do now?”
“What else? Just steel yourself and follow him around.”
“……What if he ends up hating me because of that? What if he’s disgusted?”
Heichi, having imagined Heewoo being disgusted by him and hating him terribly, squeezed his eyes shut. He already painfully understood what AJ had told him about ‘once your mate starts to hate you, there’s no answer.’ If he actually received such a look, it seemed he would suffer from severe lethargy again and crawl into bed never wanting to come out again.
“Captain. Listen carefully.”
“What is it.”
“Let’s say you receive a disgusted look. My guide hates me. That’s really hard to endure. When Kzar gets angry and sometimes says we should sleep in separate rooms…… ugh.”
AJ’s face also contorted miserably, as if he had imagined being hated by his guide. But Heichi thought his situation was more serious. AJ had confirmed each other’s feelings and become perfect mates, but Heichi wasn’t in that process yet.
He was anxious. He was also nervous. Afraid that Heewoo might hate him and never accept him as his Esper.
“Still, sir, it’s better to at least be hated.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Think about never being able to see him again from now on.”
At that moment, the air within a 10-meter radius around Heichi disappeared. In the perfect vacuum state, AJ’s face turned bright red. Even though Epsilon’s Espers could last an hour in space, that didn’t mean they didn’t feel pain.
Because it was a vacuum and even sound couldn’t travel, AJ had to just clutch his throat and wait for Heichi’s imagination to end. Fortunately, Heichi’s sudden power activation was resolved before a few more seconds passed. If AJ hadn’t been a top-class Esper, he wouldn’t have been able to endure even those few seconds.
“Cough, hack, gasp…… Do you understand now? What you have to do?”
“……Yes. You’re right. Just steel myself, and…… somehow follow him around.”
He doesn’t want to be hated by him. Being disgusted is even more painful. But not being able to see him going forward—that’s a matter of survival beyond the question of likes or dislikes.
Having gained a powerful realization, Heichi made a firm resolution. Moreover, following his clever adjutant’s advice, he decided to give it some time and then go meet him instead of following immediately.
AJ advised Heichi to leave at least a 24-hour gap, but Heichi couldn’t even last 12 hours and left the battleship. Having learned where his guide was, Heichi from that day on couldn’t tolerate Heewoo being out of his sight for even a moment. Thanks to this, his body kept getting worse and worse as he overused his superpowers.
And the more that happened, the more his desire for his guide intensified. It was a vicious cycle. Heichi had never expected that he would come to understand the position of an idiot drinking salt water when extremely thirsty.
