He felt his appetite completely disappear. Jang Juwon hesitated, unable to pick up his fork. Then Baek Iseon asked in a dejected voice.
“Why…? You don’t have an appetite?”
“This makes even the appetite I had disappear…”
“I see…”
When Jang Juwon complained, Baek Iseon’s shoulders drooped.
“Do you really think this is delicious, hyung?”
“Just, well. I don’t think it’s bad…”
Baek Iseon smiled sheepishly as if embarrassed. At that clearly dejected smile, Jang Juwon thought he had been too mean. Anyway, the fact remained that he had prepared a meal for him.
“Anyway, thank you for making it. I’ll eat well.”
Jang Juwon made a firm resolution and picked up his fork. Then Baek Iseon quickly exclaimed.
“…No! If you don’t want to eat it, don’t force yourself. I’ll make you something else.”
Baek Iseon abruptly stood up and cleared away the plate in front of Jang Juwon.
“Hyung?”
He headed hurriedly to the kitchen holding the plate in a somewhat flustered manner. That gesture made Jang Juwon feel guilty.
“I’ll just eat it. Actually, I think it’s edible too!”
Jang Juwon urgently stopped him, but Baek Iseon ultimately set the plate down in the sink. The sight of his back standing alone in the kitchen felt particularly listless today.
“Hyung…”
Jang Juwon approached him closely and hugged that lonely-looking back tightly. Then Baek Iseon’s body flinched and soon a gloomy voice was heard.
“Jang Juwon…”
“Hyung… Is something wrong?”
“Don’t hate me.”
“What? What are you suddenly talking about.”
Suddenly Baek Iseon turned his body around to face forward.
“I want to only do things that make you happy. But I don’t know what to do to make you like it.”
“Is it because of what I said this morning?”
“…”
“So it is.”
Baek Iseon gave no answer. Jang Juwon looked into his eyes that seemed endlessly weak. He didn’t seem like this kind of person. He seemed to have been someone shrewd about his own interests, a narcissist, and quite arrogant.
Come to think of it, they all seemed like insults, but anyway, that was Baek Iseon. Of course, it was admirable that he was changing, but… he was now accommodating him to an excessive degree. In other words, he was losing himself.
To some people, this phenomenon might look good, but this was clearly a red flag. It was a time bomb that would explode someday.
“I like whatever choice you make, sunbae. You know that.”
“…Yeah, I know.”
Even as he answered that he knew, there was no energy in his voice. Jang Juwon thought he wished he would act a bit more selfishly. Good grief, to think the day would come when he’d think this. Jang Juwon was surprised that he had such a thought himself. And at the same time, he recalled the one situation where he still acted arrogantly.
“Baek Iseon.”
“…Uh, huh?”
“Take it off.”
The corners of Jang Juwon’s mouth shot up to the sky.
* * *
“You want to put it in?”
“Yes…!”
Baek Iseon shouted. When he tried to raise his upper body by lifting his tied arms, Jang Juwon pressed down on his chest with his bare foot. At that action, Baek Iseon trembled violently as if indignant.
“You’re saying something different from before. Didn’t you say you wanted to accommodate me?”
“…Fuck, Jang Juwon.”
Unlike Baek Iseon, who looked pained with his face deeply frowning, Jang Juwon looked quite pleased. He smiled wickedly and slowly moved his foot pressing on his chest downward. And he pressed down on his member, which was as big as his foot, with his sole.
“Hng, fuck, you…!”
“Hey, stay still.”
At those words, Baek Iseon had no choice but to put his back against the bed again. That cold foot rubbing his cock was so stimulating. Fuck, he knew exactly how to turn someone on. It felt like he was going crazy. He wanted to put it in. He wanted to put it in and pound into him until he cried and begged him to stop right now.
“I think I’d really be sad if hyung went like this.”
Jang Juwon looked down at Baek Iseon’s red cock dripping thin fluid under his foot and said. For someone who said he’d be sad, his expression was quite bright.
“…I, I was wrong… Okay? Jang Juwon…!”
Baek Iseon finally changed course and was now pitifully pleading. Jang Juwon thought the sight was quite worth watching, but there was still one more step left until the answer he wanted.
“What? What did you do wrong?”
“…I, I didn’t do things my own way…”
“And?”
“…Fuck, I can’t stand it anymore!”
“Baek Iseon, answer me!”
Jang Juwon’s face as he shouted was still all smiles. At this point, regardless of Baek Iseon’s answer, Jang Juwon was clearly enjoying himself. For Baek Iseon, this was the worst. But to stick his cock into his hole, he had to spout whatever words first.
“Because I only thought about you! Because, because even though I knew it would burden you… I only thought about holding on to you!!”
Baek Iseon now hoped he had said the right answer. This was his limit. These tied arms were actually nothing. If he said he was wrong again, then forget the answer or whatever—he was going to get up immediately, press him down on the bed, and fuck him however he wanted.
“…That’s half right.”
“…What?”
However, the answer that he was half right was unexpected. Baek Iseon’s face began to turn pale. His cock, his head—everything felt like it would all burst. Jang Juwon, who had been looking down at such a Baek Iseon, thought he should stop tormenting him now. It had been quite fun, but if he tormented him more, he really seemed about to lose his mind. Jang Juwon withdrew his foot and sat on his thigh.
“I’ve never felt burdened.”
“Jang Juwon…”
“I just don’t want hyung to give up on what you want to do because of me.”
“Okay… I will.”
At Baek Iseon’s sincere answer, Jang Juwon thought he should give him a reward.
“Now you can do whatever you want.”
Soft fingertips touched Baek Iseon’s arms. He finally realized he had gained his freedom. His lower body began to expand in size. Baek Iseon raised the corners of his mouth and sat up.
* * *
Baek Iseon buried his lips on the white back in front of him. Then the owner of the back answered.
“So, you’re going to work on it?”
“Yeah. This time it’s really a conclusion I reached solely from my own thoughts.”
This time Baek Iseon spoke while kissing that back.
“Actually, saying it was because of you might have been an excuse. I like the way noona expresses the world through me. It’s just that that gaze was sometimes too lonely.”
“…Are you really sure it’s okay?”
“Yeah. Because now when I think of you, I don’t think like that anymore. You taught me.”
Jang Juwon turned his body and quietly looked at his lover who casually uttered those lovely words. He could see himself completely contained in those black pupils. And at that moment he realized. That this feeling would be eternal. And that by now, his lover must have noticed it too.
“Thank you. For being by my side.”
“Look who’s talking.”
A grin spread across his face. It could be either of them. The two looked at each other and smiled together. And soon their lips overlapped. Jang Juwon was grateful to that thing that had brought about all these series of events. Thank you, my trash-like grades.
**Please Give Me Study Guides, Sunbae! The End**
**@Made by Jinsa**
**Extra 1. The Appropriate Distance Between Lens and Subject**
That day, Baek Iseon made a rather cute proposal to Jang Juwon. He suggested they go visit Baek Huiseon’s studio.
“Why?”
“To see noona after a long time… And it’s been quite a while since we went on a date outside, hasn’t it?”
Jang Juwon didn’t dislike going out. But outside, even holding hands once drew attention, and going out to the city outskirts every time to avoid people’s eyes was tiring. Baek Iseon said he didn’t care about such attention, but Jang Juwon couldn’t be like that. Moreover, unlike him, when Baek Iseon walked down the street together, there were quite a few people who recognized his face. Because of that, when he was with Baek Iseon, they naturally ended up staying home.
“If it’s noona’s studio, you won’t have to worry about people watching either.”
And Baek Iseon seemed to have been mindful of such a Jang Juwon.
