‘Tell me what happened. What upset you? Hm?’
‘Tell me what I should do. I’ll help with everything I can help with.’
‘Graduation is coming soon. You’ll become an adult in no time. Don’t be too anxious.’
Not wanting to hurt Huiseo’s feelings with careless words he didn’t realize like before, Hwan tried to choose his words carefully. After narrowing down several candidates, he soon thought ‘How about trying them all one by one?’ In other words, a quantity offensive.
Not because he wasn’t precious, but conversely, because he was too precious, he hoped at least one would hit the mark. He wanted to comfort him like that.
“Graduation is coming soon…”
But somehow Hwan’s words that had gotten that far got stuck.
Because the talk of graduation reminded him of when he’d gone to volunteer recently and saw Huiseo together with university students, imagining Huiseo going to university.
For him, becoming an adult meant not being able to stick together with Huiseo like this.
When he went to university, surely Huiseo’s talents would bloom even more. Far more people than now would notice that. Hwan also knew that he couldn’t confine such a Huiseo only inside the palace because of his own greed alone.
‘We can’t keep doing this forever.’
He knew. He’d known.
But.
‘Even so, is there a need to count down the days to that moment like this?’
It was precisely for that reason that he felt rather hurt by Huiseo wanting to quickly become an adult. Of course, it wasn’t that Huiseo wanted to quickly separate from him, but still, he felt somewhat dejected that Huiseo didn’t know his troubled heart too much.
So instead of the words of comfort he’d originally intended, clumsy words suddenly burst out.
“…But even if you become an adult, not much will really change, will it?”
Then Huiseo immediately looked at Hwan with wavering eyes.
Seeing that expression, Hwan had a gut feeling.
‘As expected, this is the wrong answer.’
Even he thought it was too pathetic a thing to say, so he shrank without realizing it. Having already stepped wrong, he should have hurriedly retreated. But foolishly, Hwan didn’t give up even so and continued speaking.
“I think it’s good as it is now.”
Because that was Hwan’s honest feeling.
He wanted to convey the rest. That though it wouldn’t be possible, he wanted to be together like now.
“But as it is now…”
However, as Huiseo muttered like that and then firmly shut his mouth, once again like that night, an awkward silence settled between the two. Still, this time he thought he had no regrets because he’d conveyed his honest feelings rather than making excuses however they came out.
He just didn’t realize that would be the start of changes the two would face.
***
Before long, the palace became noisy with talk of the state marriage Crown Prince Kang would hold.
Meanwhile, Huiseo increasingly spent days holed up in his quarters clutching books. Though he’d been like that originally, these days it was to the extent that it could be said he’d become a bit more desperate. Among the palace staff, there were even rumors that the light in Huiseo’s room never went out.
‘…Is it because of that day?’
Though he was worried, he lacked justification to stop someone who’d firmly resolved to study, so he left him alone for now.
But on a certain day when he had to leave the palace for ancestral rites, a matter finally arose.
It was something repeated countless times, several times a year. Still, the preparations were always frantic and busy from start to finish. Most basically, there would be ritual food, ritual vessels, music, etc., and besides that, they had to check once more all the important things needed for moving to the royal shrine.
Of course, all Hwan had to be busy with was waking up at dawn to get dressed up.
But the problem was that like that previous day, Huiseo was nowhere to be seen.
Hwan, who was even receiving light makeup today because foreign media were coming to cover it, so they had to be more careful than usual, casually asked Seonghyeon, who was likewise busy checking clothing and such beside him:
“Where’s Huiseo?”
In fact, it was a question asked without much expectation. He didn’t know either, so how would he?
To briefly add an explanation about Seonghyeon, he was in fact a palace staff member of the Prince’s palace who had to serve Hwan closest among them. So in other words, he could be said to be the person benefiting most from Huiseo.
Of course, it was all his own fault for constantly seeking out Huiseo, but he enjoyed it so openly that Hwan thought of him as the most shameless man in this palace.
So in fact, he’d expected this time would be the same as when he’d answered “Who knows?” in a similar previous situation. But unexpectedly, this time an overly clear answer came right out.
“Ah, Huiseo contacted me a little while ago saying he can’t go with us.”
“…What? Why?”
After a brief silence of bewilderment, Hwan’s question “Why?” contained several meanings. Why couldn’t he go was too obvious, but in fact, what was even more surprising was ‘How do you know that?’
No really, how do you know? Did Huiseo only contact him?
“He said he’s studying.”
However, as such words soon followed from Seonghyeon, Hwan’s eyebrows twitched upward.
‘Studying.’
Studying again.
Hwan raised his hand to stop the makeup brush that had been busily moving over his prominent nose bridge. At the question of whether he was uncomfortable somewhere, Hwan thought: Yes, very uncomfortable.
‘Will I be fooled once, fooled twice?’
There’d been that fuss before with the studying excuse, and now he was trying to get out of the situation with the same excuse again. Hwan was dumbfounded by Huiseo’s insincerity. Who does he take for a fool? So it wasn’t unreasonable for this thought to follow.
‘…Maybe this is a signal of some kind?’
That it hurts. To come.
Of course, it could conversely mean ‘Since it turned out this way, do well and come back.’ No, strictly speaking, that would be the higher probability. But Hwan decided to think as he pleased. Even if that wasn’t it, he felt like he could only do anything after directly confirming to what extent with his own two eyes.
This time, he really couldn’t pretend not to know and quietly let it pass.
So Hwan immediately stood up.
Leaving behind Seonghyeon and other palace staff who felt something amiss and were desperately trying to dissuade him, Hwan rushed to the palace staff quarters at almost an escape level. Then he barged into Huiseo’s room in a manner like catching a criminal in the act.
However, no sooner had Hwan done so than he became flustered in a slightly different sense.
‘No way…’
Huiseo was too calmly sitting at his desk studying.
“…Your Highness?”
Seeing Huiseo look up and gaze at him questioningly, Hwan was embarrassed by his own appearance barging in so noisily. Wondering if he’d even anticipated him coming and was scheming to hide it, he hurriedly examined Huiseo’s complexion, but there was no sign of illness at all—he was just fresh as could be.
A bewildered voice directed at him:
“…What are you doing?”
“Studying.”
“…Really?”
It was a perplexing conversation.
After that, Hwan moved his lips for a moment not knowing what more to say, then muttered:
“…I thought you were sick again this time too.”
But it was really that he couldn’t go because he wanted to study?
Hwan found that very strange and also felt needlessly hurt. The second semester hadn’t even started yet, so he wouldn’t already be preparing for midterms or mock exams. For Huiseo, there was no need to do that for such level exams.
Was there some tremendous exam he was preparing for separately?
What kind of exam could make Huiseo study?
‘…Even so, let’s go together.’
Though it was an immature thing to say, Hwan couldn’t hide his immediately hurt feelings, seeming like his priority that had always been at the top had been pushed back. Moreover, he didn’t know what to say in this awkward situation either. Then Hwan ended up spouting clumsy nonsense again.
“…B-but what if you get summoned to the Empress Dowager’s palace again?”
Though it might sound like worry, it was actually whining and childish threatening.
It was no different from asking ‘You’ll get scolded by the adults if you don’t follow along, won’t you?’ Hwan was mortified, heat rushing to his face at the terrible fact that he’d uttered such childish words.
Because of that, Hwan thought he would definitely get scolded by Huiseo.
Starting with “Wouldn’t it be fine if you go alone and do well?” That would be a hundred percent right, so he clearly wouldn’t be able to refute it. But at Huiseo’s completely unexpected answer that came next, Hwan was left dumbfounded.
“Ah, you don’t have to worry about that at all. I got permission in advance.”
“…What? You got permission?”
“Yeah.”
For Hwan, it was an unbelievable story.
It was surprising both that the Empress Dowager, who always pressed innocent Huiseo whenever Hwan caused trouble, had permitted Huiseo not to accompany him on an important schedule like today, and that Huiseo had made such thorough preparations without him knowing.
‘Does that mean I’ve been that much of a nuisance all along?’
He even felt needless inferiority.
“…I-is that so?”
In any case, the conclusion was that there was nothing more to say there.
There was no worse hindrance than to someone who wanted to study hard. Hwan, noticeably dejected, hesitantly backed away in the complete opposite manner from when he’d entered.
Had that pitiful sight moved Huiseo’s heart?
Huiseo, who until now had been looking at Hwan so indifferently it felt cold-hearted, hesitated and spoke up:
“…When you come back well, let’s eat dinner together.”
“…Yeah. Okay.”
Though Hwan raised the corners of his mouth and agreed in one breath, he was very flustered and his mouth was bitter realizing that things that used to be natural now came with conditions.
