“Stop talking nonsense. You said you’d teach me to swim.”
Iseo forcibly lowered his arms, suppressing his desire to cover his chest. His nape, chest, and underarm area were red and bluish. If someone glanced at it, it would look like severe beating injuries. Of course, if you looked closely, you could tell it was all from intercourse.
“Why didn’t you learn to swim? When you can do so many things.”
Taeju went down toward where the waves were crashing. While he briefly turned his back on him, Iseo hurriedly grabbed his shirt and covered his chest.
It was more embarrassing than expected. Looking at him in the nude, wearing only a swimsuit. If it had been inside a room, he might have felt less of this unfamiliar embarrassment.
But outdoors, everything was unfamiliar, different, and exotic. The sunlight fiercely beating his shoulders and back, the sound of waves tapping his ears in a steady rhythm, even the sea breeze rubbing against his bare legs.
“Hm? Hyung.”
“Ah, what?”
“Swimming. Have you never thought about learning?”
Ah, Iseo swallowed a weak sigh. It was simple. He didn’t want to show his body to others. If it hadn’t been Yeon Taeju, he wouldn’t have had the slightest thought of wearing a swimsuit in front of anyone else.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to take my clothes off.”
“Ah.”
When Taeju had just arrived at the villa, he’d suggested swimming together. Iseo actually pretended otherwise then, but he was both happy and nervous. He wanted to spend time with him. At the same time, he didn’t have the courage to take off his clothes.
But how had it come to be that he and Taeju could bear the midsummer sun and press their bare skin together in the sea?
“Put that down and come in.”
Taeju said while lowering the sunglasses he’d raised above his head. He stretched out his hand toward him.
His life, the lovers by his side, perhaps his entire life was artwork to Iseo. Something he couldn’t get close to but wanted to keep nearby and look at. So he watched. Yeon Seongju’s words were right. His life was nothing but wasting time secretly voyeuristically watching Yeon Taeju from here.
What school he attended, who he dated, who he had as friends. How he laughed, what he did, and how he spent his time.
If asked whether he hadn’t wanted to go to his side, Iseo would hesitate to answer. He couldn’t tell. Iseo’s pursuit of Yeon Taeju was something that happened too long ago.
It was natural to become dependent on Yeon Taeju, who rescued him from the ostracism of his cousins and siblings. Iseo had a rough idea too. That Taeju didn’t defend him with any great meaning. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop his heart from leaning.
“Hurry, the water’s cool.”
The awareness after puberty was even clearer. That his heart leaning toward Yeon Taeju wasn’t simple admiration or affection. So Iseo had recently taken an interest in his family’s business.
If Taeju asked why he’d suddenly done such a thing, he had nothing to say. He just thought it would be nice if Taeju would come see him at least once. It was okay if he didn’t have special feelings. Even with a light heart like when they were young.
“I really can’t swim at all.”
“I’m good at it.”
“I’m scared of water.”
“I won’t let go of your hand.”
Iseo struggled to take off his shoes and stepped on the hot sand. The sand was hot enough to be startling. It felt like his soles would get burned. Iseo unconsciously quickened his pace and walked to the shore soaked with water.
Everything was different from watching from afar. Yeon Taeju was real. The heat of the white sand was hot enough to blow away all thoughts in an instant. The light falling from overhead created sticky drops of sweat.
But he could never say that watching from afar was better. He couldn’t say that what he’d been watching all this time was more valuable than what he was experiencing now.
“Hng, it’s hot.”
“Next time let’s come out in the morning. It’s too hot at midday.”
Taeju wrapped Iseo’s hand and pulled it lightly. Their bare skin rubbed lightly. Sweat seeped through the pressed skin and his heavy body scent drew near.
His throat suddenly choked at the promise toward next time as if it were natural. What was he thinking when he said that? Was it his true feelings, or a lie for business, or if not that, a momentary mood?
Iseo had such thoughts then hurriedly shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to examine the facts. It was just time to enjoy. A happy dream makes that day happy. This summer might make his entire life happy.
“It’s cool, right?”
He followed Taeju stepping into the sea. Iseo nodded lightly.
“Have you never played in the water either?”
“Yeah.”
“Because you didn’t want to take your clothes off?”
“Yeah.”
“But there’s no one here.”
Taeju turned his head to look at Iseo. Iseo looked at Taeju’s eyes beyond his sunglasses. Though he couldn’t see well, he could tell. He was smiling.
“I don’t like it. Someone might see.”
“What about now?”
He put strength into the hand clasped with Taeju’s. He approached close to his side. This time Iseo took one more step ahead.
“Because you’re next to me, I thought it would be okay.”
The corners of his mouth drew a pleasant arc. Taeju overtook Iseo who was ahead and walked quickly into the water, pulling their clasped hands playfully.
“It’ll feel good. Because you don’t sweat. Well, more precisely, you don’t feel yourself sweating.”
Ah, Iseo nodded that it made sense. He knew he enjoyed swimming. Additionally, it seemed he also did wakeboarding. He’d just thought he liked water.
“I hate sports where you sweat. Like soccer or basketball. That’s why I started ice hockey too.”
Hearing his preferences through Taeju’s own mouth was fresh. The content he’d only heard as facts took on a completely different color. So that’s why he started ice hockey. He’d worked so hard he’d aimed for a special ice hockey admission to college.
Iseo nodded again. Ice hockey was only until high school. He didn’t know what change of heart it was, but he’d entered a college of social sciences that didn’t suit him at all.
“But that made me sweat too. Even though it’s on ice.”
Taeju laughed lightly and tilted his head toward Iseo. Iseo nodded seriously this time too.
Suddenly Taeju laughed loudly. The low sound approached as a pleasant rumbling.
“Why are you listening so seriously?”
“Uh, ah…”
Iseo hurriedly lowered his head and averted his gaze.
“What about hyung?”
The seawater rose sharply. After passing the part where it barely submerged his ankles, it rose to his thighs. Their walking speed gradually slowed. It was cool. At the same time, sticky. The sweat that had flowed down melted away in the seawater and thick saltiness clung to his skin.
“What about me?”
“Tell me about hyung.”
“Ah.”
With a blank face, Iseo stopped walking. His story? There was nothing to tell. As if reproaching Iseo who’d stopped walking, Taeju bent his waist and splashed water.
“Why, don’t you have anything you want to say?”
“When you say it like that, what should I say?”
“Anything, what about school?”
Taeju had no hesitation at all. He’d done homeschooling for middle school and didn’t attend high school. If he knew these circumstances, an ordinary person wouldn’t carelessly ask such things. Taeju probably knew all the details. And he wasn’t an ordinary person.
“I got my bachelor’s degree from a school in Manila.”
“Mm, that’s the first I’m hearing of it?”
He was genuinely surprised, his voice rising. It was regrettable that he couldn’t see his widening eyes because they were covered by sunglasses.
“I rushed to take the PEPT at 18 and enrolled. Because of mom’s nagging. I actually went to school less than 10 times.”
“Well, with auntie’s personality, if her son was a middle school graduate.”
“I took the GED.”
Though it wasn’t a sarcastic tone, Iseo hastily retorted because he felt stung.
“Ah.”
Taeju’s lips rose asymmetrically like a seesaw.
“And?”
“I went to art school briefly too. But I quit right away.”
“Why?”
“It wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought I could attend quietly…”
Taeju made a sound like he was slightly clearing his throat. Iseo caressed the water surface rippling at his pelvis. The rippling of the waves could be felt below his palm. Cool and heavy yet transparent and sticky.
