Come to think of it, I think I saw someone admiring him right in front of Jukyung before. He reacted indifferently without much interest, so I remembered thinking how irritating. But why is he acting so flustered today all of a sudden? Is it because I asked if I could draw him?
“I like doing figure drawing as a hobby. If you don’t want to, you can just refuse.”
Of course, with that bastard’s personality, there’s no way he’d hesitate unable to refuse out of consideration for the other person, but I added one more comment to put his mind at ease. Anyway, since I’d just blurted it out impulsively, I figured he’d naturally refuse.
“If you really want to draw it, I don’t particularly mind but…”
“Okay. Right. I thought you’d refuse… What?”
I was calmly opening the sushi box lid and nodding as if I understood, then stopped. Just now, what did Jukyung say? He doesn’t mind?
“You just said you don’t mind? That it’s okay for me to draw you?”
Jukyung frowned.
“What? Were you just probing with no real intention?”
“Uh… that’s not it, but.”
This time I was flustered.
“I didn’t think you’d say it’s okay. Usually everyone finds it bothersome…”
I thought with your personality you’d naturally say no. I just swallowed those words.
“I can’t do deliberate weird poses. I mean it’s okay to draw while I’m just in a comfortable state.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you. Really, thank you.”
I felt a bit strange somehow. Compared to lending me the house and lending me money, from Jukyung’s perspective, being a drawing model might actually be nothing. But why am I feeling like this? Moved… is too much, should I say happy…? A rarely felt emotion surged up. That feeling must have been clearly visible on my face. Jukyung looked at me with slightly widened eyes.
“No… why to that extent…”
We started eating, but having entered a slightly excited state, I couldn’t fully savor the taste of the premium sushi I’d been eagerly anticipating. My heart felt full, I was in an oddly elated state. I thought I should stop by an art supply store tomorrow and at least buy a sketchbook and pencils. I’d have to cut a bit from meal expenses, but it didn’t matter. It was fine to eat convenience store kimbap, and what’s the big deal about skipping a meal or two? It’s not like I haven’t gone hungry before.
It seemed Jukyung picked fights about something two or three times in the middle of eating, but I didn’t perceive the fights as fights. No matter what he said, I responded with smiles, so Jukyung seemed to just close his mouth. What I remember is only that until the meal was finished, Jukyung was particularly hot and kept fanning his red face with his hand. Even though the air conditioner was running full blast.
***
The rest of the night passed unexpectedly quietly. I thought about borrowing Jukyung’s laptop to do job searching, but Jukyung said there was no internet setup at home and wouldn’t let me use it. He even confiscated the borrowed phone, saying it didn’t have enough data. It was a story that somehow didn’t seem believable—that an officetel wouldn’t have WiFi. I thought maybe he was deliberately not letting me use it, but there didn’t seem to be any particular reason for that, and anyway I couldn’t understand what Kwon Jukyung was doing, but either way I wasn’t in a position to say anything about it.
I quickly gave up and sprawled on the sofa, immersing myself together in the American series Jukyung was watching. The thought that I wanted to work and earn money as soon as possible, even by a day, remained unchanged, but it was also true that after putting out the urgent fire, my mind became a bit more relaxed, thinking so what if it’s delayed by a day or two.
The sofa Jukyung and I sat on together wasn’t small, but it was only a two-seater after all, so sitting side by side when we weren’t even close felt a bit awkward. When I was leaning my body askew against the opposite armrest, Jukyung glanced at me and nagged that it was bad for my spine.
At home I was mainly alone, so there was no one to nag like that, which was a bit annoying. When I grumbled that I just wanted to lie down, Jukyung stood up and approached closely. I thought his obsessive-compulsive disorder couldn’t even tolerate another person’s incorrect posture.
But when Jukyung bent over me and touched something under the armrest, the backrest of the sofa I was sitting on went down and a footrest came up. I thought it was just a regular sofa, but it seemed to be a recliner. The right armrest also went down.
As I comfortably settled into position and contentedly watched TV, I felt that stare from beside me again. I sighed inwardly.
“…Thank you.”
Of course, I admit it’s my fault for not having the habit of giving thanks every time, but I thought it was quite a peculiar personality to insist on getting thanks like that. Don’t most people usually just curse inwardly about someone having terribly bad manners and pass by? But this guy does that every time, like educating a young child. Well, I’m the one who did wrong so I shouldn’t say anything.
“But about sleeping.”
As bedtime approached, a problem that needed to be solved suddenly came to mind, so I spoke up. Jukyung’s gaze, which had been directed at the TV screen, turned to me.
“I can stay at this house for a while, right?”
Jukyung’s eyebrow went up slightly.
“I mean, on the condition that I pay back half the rent later.”
I clarified the exact situation and spoke again.
“So?”
“About the blankets—shouldn’t we buy some? A day or two is fine, but it’ll be uncomfortable for you too, and continuing to sleep together is a bit…”
“The bed is wide, the blanket is big, and there are two pillows, so what’s the problem? Are you actually a girl or something? Or what, are you conscious of me? Well, there were some beta guys and omega guys who said they liked me.”
My face naturally crumpled at the shameless nonsense he spouted like someone with prince syndrome.
“Absolutely not, okay? What nonsense are you talking about?”
“Then what? As I said yesterday, I absolutely hate having unnecessary items increasing in my space. You alone increasing is enough. No, the fact that with you alone increasing, now clothes and shoes are also increasing is horrifying, but that really can’t be helped and at least there’s storage space, so fine. But blankets won’t do. Where would I put something so bulky? Don’t even think about piling them on the bed or sofa. Don’t even think about stuffing them somewhere out of sight either. It’s really horrifying.”
Kwon Jukyung shuddered as if imagining something truly horrifying. Seeing that, I had nothing more to say. Above all, when the landlord thinks of my very existence not even as a ‘guest’ but as an ‘increased object,’ what could I say? The only way to survive was to quickly find a job and become independent. Once a person has grown enough, they must become independent to protect their human rights. Whether in family or society, it was an eternal truth. Damn it.
In the end, on the second night too, I lay in the same bed as Jukyung under the same blanket. In the room, only the air conditioner’s low humming and Jukyung’s regular breathing resonated softly. I was quite tense, lying with my back turned, pressed against the edge of the bed. But listening to the harmless noise in the peaceful darkness, I felt like a fool. The way I was the only one so conscious, stiffened worrying our fingertips might touch.
Kwon Jukyung is a beta. I keep saying, but I’m not interested in some guy’s bland body, okay? Even if I released pheromones like crazy and pounced on him, he wouldn’t bat an eyelash, right?
I emphasized the objective facts once more and scolded myself for being needlessly on edge. Before long, I eventually relaxed my body and closed my eyes. Once I relaxed, falling into deep sleep was instantaneous.
***
5
I woke to sunlight gently tickling my eyelids. It was a languid morning. The feeling of naturally waking up without artificial interference like an alarm after a comfortable deep sleep was unsurpassably good.
I burrowed a bit more into the soft, warm blanket and squirmed. Around the time I woke in the morning, my body temperature would rise and I’d feel hot, but even though it was summer, outside the blanket was cool with the air conditioner’s chill. The outside was cool and the inside warm, so the feeling wasn’t bad. I thought I’d linger like this in the cozy blanket until I was a bit more alert, then get up. After washing up and starting the morning with a cup of coffee with plenty of milk, it would be a perfect day. But then.
“Mm…”
My forehead felt ticklish. I heard an unfamiliar sigh and downy breath touched my skin. A cool summer forest scent wafted. Someone was right beside me.
Someone is with me? Me? In the same bed with another person?
Just a little while ago, while I froze momentarily as the dizzying memory of that early summer night came to mind, the fog of sleep that had thickly settled in my head gradually lifted. This wasn’t my house. It wasn’t my lodging in England, nor was it my room in Father’s house. Of course, it wasn’t the hotel room where I’d had my life’s only one-night stand, nor any of the various types of accommodations I’d moved around to after running away, so this place was…
Kwon Jukyung’s chilly face suddenly came to mind. In an instant, sleep fled. I was freeloading at Kwon Jukyung’s house. My eyes snapped open on their own.
Huh?
I blinked my eyes. I thought I’d see Kwon Jukyung’s bedroom wall, but before my eyes unfolded a feast of skin color. The broad, flat, firm bare chest was unmistakably a man’s body. So right now, I was in the same bed with a bare-bodied man. And in a state where I was snuggled into that man’s chest.
“Whoaaa.”
I bolted upright. Not satisfied with that, I hurriedly backed away in a sitting position and tumbled right off the bed. A thud broke the quiet morning’s stillness. No, before that, at the stage where my scream filled the room, it was already past the point of discussing quiet or stillness.
“Ow ow ow…”
In the midst of it all, my back, which hit first while instinctively trying to protect my head, was tingling.
“What, what are you doing from early morning?”
With my calves on the bed and my upper body on the floor in a ridiculous position, my eyes met Jukyung’s. Looking down at me with disheveled hair and sleepy eyes, propping his hand on the bed, he was in a half-naked state with his upper body fully exposed.
“Why are you putting on a show in the middle of sleeping? Do you have sleepwalking or something?”
My face reddened at Jukyung’s words. I lowered my legs to the floor and sat up with a groan. Rubbing my throbbing back and shoulders, I looked up at Jukyung with reproachful eyes.
