# Chapter 81
I stuck close to Sijin under the pretext of taking care of my singer, and Crop Five just looked the other way saying what else could they do.
I was worried that his disappointment might be as great as his expectations had been for working on a song with Ki Hyunshin, but surprisingly, he seemed completely unbothered.
[Hyung. We don’t know when we’ll have time like this again, so if there’s anything you want to do, let’s do it together.]
While with me, Sijin wrote messages on his smartphone, showed them to me, and erased them after I read them.
“Something I want to do? Nothing in particular.”
[Still, think about it carefully. There might be things you wanted to do but couldn’t because you didn’t have time.]
“I really don’t think there’s anything.”
Sijin still told me to think carefully, so I racked my brain for ideas.
“Really, there’s nothing. You shouldn’t be thinking about going out either, just focus on resting well.”
[If I want to rest well, I shouldn’t be hanging out with you.]
“Oh really? Then let’s go our separate ways. Starting now.”
[No. I’ll just rest moderately.]
Sijin had become too well-known with Crop Five to walk around freely in Korea.
So we used that as an excuse to mostly stay indoors.
We figured there was no need to dress formally when no one was watching, so we wore minimal clothing, and when two young men in their prime are like that, it wasn’t long before sparks flew between our eyes.
“Hyung. You know I’m a patient, right?”
By now he seemed too lazy to type on his smartphone and just said that while making a breathy sound, acting so shameless that I wondered who was the one who had pounced like a madman just moments ago.
“Han Sijin. Who made the first move?”
“You’re not suggesting that was me, are you?”
This guy.
When did he become so shameless?
But far from getting annoyed, I was just happy.
To me, all this time felt like compensation.
“Sijin. Aren’t you scared?”
I asked while looking at Sijin lying beside me.
When I brushed his hair up, he docilely accepted my touch.
“Of what?”
“Even if your voice comes back, it might not be the same as before.”
“Wow… Hyung. Why are you making me anxious? This is really strange.”
“No. I was going to comfort you if you said you were scared.”
Sijin tried to burst out laughing but grabbed his throat.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“It’s not too painful. Just a little uncomfortable.”
“Don’t worry too much. It’ll be fine. Even if it doesn’t work out well, I can support you, so think of it positively. Even in the worst case scenario, there’s a way out. Understand?”
“Wow… I feel so reassured.”
He spoke in a tone completely devoid of spirit and laughed.
“Looking at you like this.”
I gazed at those glass-like transparent eyes up close and caressed his cheek.
“You’re really handsome. My baby.”
“Why am I your baby? That would be seriously wrong.”
“Don’t imagine it. Don’t imagine it.”
I examined him thoroughly from forehead to eyebrows, eyes, nose, lips, and down to his neckline and collarbone, finding not a single flaw, and he looked back at me with satisfied eyes.
“Hyung. I love you.”
For a moment, I just stared at him without saying anything.
My mouth opened and then slowly closed again.
“I love you, Hyung. That feels right.”
His hand gently cupped my cheek.
The touch of his hand tracing my face was infinitely warm.
I tried to respond, but my lips were dry.
Sijin quietly stared at my lips.
“You don’t have to say it, Hyung.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can tell everything. Everything about you is already saying it.”
“Still…”
I embraced him.
“I love you.”
…
I said it.
After saying those words, my face flushed with such heat that I couldn’t regain my composure.
Sijin didn’t take his eyes off me for even a moment, and I trembled with ecstasy.
* * *
I never thought Sijin would end up watching Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five’s showcase performance from the audience.
I kept glancing at Sijin, worried that he might be disappointed.
It was difficult to gauge what Sijin was feeling right now.
He said he was fine, but I couldn’t tell if that was truly sincere.
But even looking closely, it didn’t seem like regret or envy.
Rather, should I say he looked relieved?
That was hard to understand.
Was he finally able to let go of his anxiety by seeing that the stage wasn’t empty without him?
I thought he might be blaming himself too much, especially since it wasn’t like he chose to be absent.
The meeting of Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five.
The showcase was successful, as it had generated enormous expectations.
Although Han Sijin was missing, Crop Five delivered a perfect performance, flawlessly singing a song completely different from what they had been singing, and the fans’ cheers grew louder.
After the song ended, Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five left the stage to thunderous applause.
“You should go too, Sijin.”
“Come with me, Hyung.”
“Why should I go?”
“There are many people who want to see you too. There are still many people waiting for Crop Six.”
“Stop joking and go quickly. You should greet them together on stage.”
Sijin seemed to know I wouldn’t go with him and stood up with a disappointed expression.
A moment later, when Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five came back on stage, another wave of enthusiastic cheers erupted from the previously quiet audience.
“Hello. We are Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five!”
When they gave the signal and all greeted together, laughter erupted from the audience.
It sounded like “Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five” was a team name, which caused the laughter.
The showcase was hosted by Cheon Hojae, known as the nation’s MC, and the fact that he had agreed to host this showcase, when he normally doesn’t host showcases, became a big issue.
He had openly stated that he was a fan of Ki Hyunshin and had mentioned several times on broadcasts that seeing Ki Hyunshin before he died was his wish.
While broadcasting with Ki Hyunshin, Crop Five had abruptly asked if he had ever heard about this.
Upon hearing this, Ki Hyunshin said that he was also a fan of Cheon Hojae and would like to ask him to host a showcase if given the opportunity, and that finally happened.
“Wow! I finally met the God Ki Hyun-nim. Everyone, many people didn’t believe me whenever I said I had never met the God Ki Hyun-nim before. They’d say, ‘When you do broadcasts, don’t you end up seeing people even if you don’t want to?’ It’s understandable why they would think that, since my broadcasting career isn’t short by any means.”
Cheon Hojae proceeded skillfully and naturally, and Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five, who were nervous in front of so many people, seemed to become absorbed in his stories before they knew it.
“Today feels like I’ve won the lottery. I’m trying to remember how many countries I saved in my past life, but I can’t quite remember. Anyway, it’s clear I must have saved more than just a couple. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense that I could meet God Ki Hyun-nim and Crop Five at once. I’m truly honored to be hosting the showcase where these two legends meet, so let me introduce myself again. I’m Cheon Hojae. Nice to meet you.”
Tremendous cheers poured out, and Cheon Hojae widened his eyes as if surprised.
“Wow. Of course, there must be many fans of Ki Hyunshin-nim here, as well as many Crop Five fans, but the energy is really amazing. I’m not the type to get nervous or intimidated in places like this, but today I feel overwhelmed by the incredible energy.”
When fans in the audience told him not to worry about it, Cheon Hojae smiled familiarly.
By that time, Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five seemed to have relaxed considerably.
They also seemed to be watching Cheon Hojae with fan admiration, and Cheon Hojae introduced Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five in turn.
When Ki Hyunshin and Crop Five greeted the audience following Cheon Hojae’s introduction, the venue exploded with cheers.
“Hello, we are Crop Five.”
When Crop Five greeted according to their slogan, the sound of members’ names being called came from all directions.
Cheon Hojae introduced each member one by one, and finally it was Han Sijin’s turn.
“Sijin-ssi. I have many questions for Sijin-ssi. The fans must have been really disappointed. What happened, Sijin-ssi? You didn’t perform on stage.”
“I’m sorry.”
When Sijin took the microphone and spoke, fans chanted his name in unison.
As Sijin’s face appeared largely on the electronic display, the cheers grew even louder.
I felt proud of that sight, but also a little jealous.
It felt good to see the person I love being loved by others, but at the same time, I wished he was mine alone.
“What happened? I heard we won’t be able to hear Sijin-ssi’s voice on the album either. Is that true?”
The sound from the audience seemed to reach its peak at that moment.
“I’m truly sorry. I should have been more careful with taking care of myself, but my throat condition wasn’t good. Since it wasn’t a condition that could be recovered in a short period, I unfortunately couldn’t participate in this album production.”
“Ah… As a passionate fan of Crop Five myself, I’m really disappointed, but the fans here must feel it even more. But no one would be more disappointed than Sijin-ssi himself. How is your condition now?”
“It’s much better now. I’m managing well by completely resting my voice and taking good care.”
“Yes. That’s what you need to do so we can hear Sijin-ssi’s songs for a long time, so we’ll be patient and wait.”
“Thank you.”
Fortunately, they moved on naturally and smoothly.
