# Chapter 48
“Really. If I ever get a chance to love someone again, I’ll definitely choose an ordinary person then. An ordinary person instead of someone who receives everyone’s love and attention. Someone who only looks at me. Someone who doesn’t know how to look at anyone but me.”
With his arms folded behind his head as a pillow, he looked at me and spoke.
“I only look at you too.”
Just.
A desire to reassure him.
I said it hoping he would feel comfortable before leaving, but once I said it, the words felt quite heavy.
I should say it felt like they contained much more meaning than I had intended.
I went over to Han Sijin’s side, perched beside him, and then lay down.
Then I rolled onto my side to look at him.
Han Sijin pulled one arm out and gently embraced me.
“What will I do because I’ll miss you so much? If I miss you too much, should I just get on a plane by myself?”
He murmured as if talking to himself, then kissed my forehead with his lips.
It wasn’t the image that came to mind when I thought of Han Sijin.
That tenderness.
“I wish you could see that stage… When I thought you were there, I naturally felt energized, but these days I don’t have that.”
“Lick your lips before you lie. You’ve been flying around on your own, what are you talking about?”
“…”
Han Sijin looked like he had a lot to say and was about to say something, but he just closed his mouth.
“Why would I try to beat you, Hyung? In the end, I’m the one who wins anyway.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Why do you think that? You’re such a strange kid.”
“Aww, so cute!”
Then he kissed my forehead again, my mouth, and my eyelids, then moved down to my lips.
“There’s not a single part of you I dislike. Not a single part.”
And then he suddenly closed his eyes.
“I should engrave it on my fingers. To recall when I miss you.”
And with his eyes still closed, he caressed my body.
“I wish I could do magic. I wish I could hide you and bring you out whenever I want.”
“Rather than that, it would be faster for me to learn shadow clone jutsu.”
“No. That’s not what I want, your clone.”
Even though it was something that would never happen anyway, he spoke quite seriously.
“Hyung…”
The way he called me Hyung.
I had heard it countless times before, but somehow it felt different coming from Han Sijin.
A voice that seemed to simmer softly.
“I love you, Hyung.”
I think that was the first time I had heard those words of love.
I realized for the first time how sweet and warm those words were.
“I love you. I love you, Hyung.”
He continued to pour out words he must have been saving for me.
“You’re so cute.”
As I brushed his hair up and embraced him, his eyes folded prettily, and a smile settled on his face.
Not only was his face handsome, but there wasn’t a single flaw anywhere.
It was even more admirable than the last time I saw him.
An object of wonder.
He called me and buried his face in my shoulder.
Perhaps because I thought he would go to the airport at dawn and then I wouldn’t see him for a long time after that, all that time felt precious.
I buried my face, which felt hot, against his chest.
Han Sijin held me tightly, and we stayed that way for a long time.
“Hyung. When we come back. What will happen to us?”
“Why? What kind of question is that?”
“Will you miss me?”
“Of course I will.”
“You’ll miss all the members, but you’ll especially miss me, right?”
“Yes. I will. Of course.”
“Do you like me, Hyung?”
Come to think of it, even after he confessed to me, I hadn’t told him I loved him, and that seemed to have made him anxious.
“I love you, Sijin.”
“…”
He looked at me.
He might think I was saying this just to make him happy, but his face grew increasingly filled with a smile.
I wonder if he wanted to shout with joy.
“Say it again, Hyung.”
“I love you. I love you, Han Sijin.”
“Since when?”
He asked with a face full of laughter.
Still with a moved, pure, and ecstatic face.
“Well. I don’t know since when.”
“That doesn’t matter. Even if we don’t know since when, we’ve been slowly permeating and steeping into each other for a very long time.”
“Yes. That’s right.”
There was a brief silence.
“What time is your flight?”
“6 o’clock.”
“Then what time do you need to leave?”
“Around 4:30. I’ll take you there on the way, Hyung.”
“No. I’ll go on my own.”
That seemed easier to bear.
* * *
I left first, leaving the five members behind.
Han Sijin wanted to come along, but I dissuaded him.
Feeling like I might cry if I watched the kids leave, I left early and threw myself into work from then on.
Vivid eyewitness accounts and photos of them at the airport were uploaded online, so I could get news about Crop Five almost in real time.
People were now accustomed to being enthusiastic about Crop Five and wished for the success of their world tour.
Many fans grumbled to the CEO of Grand Tamer, saying that since the world tour period was long, they should also hold many concerts in Korea.
They expressed disappointment about the world tour, saying they didn’t have many chances to see Crop Five either.
But knowing it was a good opportunity for them, they forced themselves to console their regretful feelings.
Those fans were just like me.
In that they had to forcibly endure their longing.
Coincidentally, the fact that work was pouring in frantically was somewhat comforting.
I had been called a workaholic before, but now it had gotten worse.
When I was in a daze, I would miss Han Sijin so much that I had no solution but to plunge back into work.
Noona would shake her head when she saw me like that.
She said if I had worked like this while in a higher position, not just my current low rank where my identity wasn’t known, subordinates wouldn’t have been able to endure.
While hearing such talks, I slowly began to think about finding my place.
And just then, Grandfather summoned me.
I hadn’t attended family gatherings even when invited because I thought it wouldn’t be good if stories about me spread to many people unnecessarily.
The thought that not everyone attending would be like Uncle’s family also played a part.
Strictly speaking, even the term “Uncle’s family” wasn’t quite right.
Uncle, Noona, and Hyung were now fervently supporting me, but Aunt wasn’t like that.
At first, she seemed friendly to me as I was being helpful to Grand Tamer, but after I moved to Seyoung Electronics and began to thrive there, she didn’t seem to like it, and at some point, there was a chill in her face when dealing with me.
Then, once rumors spread that Seyoung Media wanted me, her attitude completely changed, and she seemed to openly antagonize me.
Because of that, Noona apologized to me separately several times because of such behavior from Aunt.
I thought if Aunt was like that, others would be even worse, but now it seemed I could no longer avoid seeing Grandfather.
* * *
His mansion wasn’t particularly impressive.
If I had seen that place before seeing Uncle’s house, I might have been so surprised that I couldn’t close my mouth for a while.
But I had already seen many places and been sufficiently surprised, and there was no reason to be greatly amazed just because it was more splendid.
It was like not being able to feel envy when seeing someone with assets worth tens of trillions, as it felt so unreal.
Although Grandfather hadn’t kept me close, he would have heard news about me.
Even if not, it didn’t matter.
I thought his summons might be related to Seyoung Media’s business, and my prediction wasn’t far off.
“Were you planning to never come to see me until I called?”
That was what Grandfather said when we first met.
“Are you someone I could visit recklessly just because I wanted to see you?”
He seemed to be trying to intimidate me, but I wasn’t afraid of him anymore.
His direct and collateral relatives seemed to bow their heads deeply, wanting to receive the scraps that might fall from him.
But I hadn’t lived such a childhood, and even after growing up, I had lived a life far from that of a wealthy person, so I didn’t have such desires.
Grandfather seemed displeased that I wasn’t swayed by him.
But I had no particular desire to please him, so I just had a “whatever will be, will be” attitude.
He smelled strongly of cigarettes, and I really didn’t like the smell of cigarettes.
He smoked indoors too and spoke mockingly of the world, saying who would dare say anything about him smoking in his own house.
“Chairman, I apologize, but I’d like you not to smoke while I’m here. Or, I can come back in after you’ve finished your cigarette.”
“What?”
He glared at me with a dumbfounded face, and his attendant secretaries who remained in the room turned pale.
“You, Chairman, take risks and smoke according to your will, but I don’t understand why I have to share that risk too. It’s not like I’m here because I want to be.”
He stared at me for a long time with a blank face.
During that time, the cigarette continued to burn between his fingers.
He put the cigarette to his lips as if daring me to do as I pleased, and I stood up from my seat.
“…!”
The attendant secretaries could only look at each other awkwardly with faces wondering if they should stop me.
