The tighter he gripped the rose in his palm, the deeper the scratches on his hand became. Yet even that pain felt incredibly welcome. It was incomparable to the empty, hollow comfort of having nothing. He was grateful, so grateful, for the thorns that clearly existed, digging fiercely into his palm.
He tried to at least wrap Ido in a blanket from the room, but Ido refused with a firm gesture. His will was clear—he would not accept even a single item from that man’s house. Wookyung tried to take off his own shirt to put on him, but Ido refused that too. With no other choice, he wrapped Ido’s body in his large jacket. Just that was enough to cover the small frame to some degree. As if too exhausted to resist further, Ido remained limp and still.
His steps toward his car while carrying Ido were urgent. With careful hands, he seated Ido in the passenger seat and turned the heater to maximum. The slender body was trembling pitifully. After tilting the seat back comfortably, Wookyung pressed down on the accelerator.
Even while driving, his sharp gaze frequently swept over Ido’s face and body. He considered heading to the hospital, but couldn’t take him there wearing nothing, so he headed to his own place instead. It seemed better to call a doctor to the house. Even if Ido got angry later about why he went home without saying anything, it couldn’t be helped.
In the passenger seat, Ido, wrapped in his jacket, immediately closed his eyes and sank deep into the seat. Though the warm air filling the car was suffocating, Wookyung didn’t lower the heater. He wanted to take off his own shirt and give it to him again, but Ido was curled up with his eyes closed as if everything was too bothersome. Like a hedgehog defending himself with silence, Ido seemed to need time to rest for a while.
His foot pressed the accelerator relentlessly. During the drive home with no wasted movements, Wookyung’s gaze occasionally turned toward Ido’s small face with concern.
However, Ido’s gaze never once turned toward Wookyung. His irregular breathing clearly revealed that Ido wasn’t sleeping. He sometimes let out exhausted sighs. Despite this, his stubbornly closed eyes didn’t open until they arrived home. His will not to see Wookyung right now was clear.
But it didn’t matter.
Ido was alive.
Even if Ido… said he never wanted to see him again, that would be fine too. Just the fact that Ido was alive was indescribably gratifying. Of course, now that he knew Ido was alive, he had no confidence he could live without seeing Ido. He would continue to hover around Ido, taking care of what he needed. If even that was unwanted and he was told to get lost, he was confident he could hide his existence forever so as not to be noticed.
Just the single fact that Ido was alive was an overwhelming joy for Wookyung. Though the years he’d lived deceived were cruelly sad, though the path ahead to make amends was impossibly distant. He would devote his entire life to embracing this child exhausted by repeated wounds, and to Dokyung, to whom he’d failed to be a father. Gladly, with all his strength.
Though he couldn’t erase without a trace the wounds received over the past years, he at least wanted to wipe away the blood flowing over the current wounds. He wanted to fill the clear deficiencies he must have. He wanted to embrace all the painful wounds he wore, and wanted to take the stones being thrown at him in his place. That was the priority. Repentance and seeking forgiveness could all come later.
“We’re here. Ido-ya… let’s get out.”
His small face and closed eyelashes were dampened with tears. Seeing that the tears hadn’t dried, he must have cried in the car. How accustomed had he become to crying while holding his breath, that he could cry next to someone without them noticing… His heart crumbled once more at the sight of him skillfully hiding his pain.
“…Let’s go up. Ido-ya.”
But his own pain could come later. Pretending not to notice, Wookyung gently stroked Ido’s eyes with his hand and carefully lifted Ido out of the car.
Fortunately, Ido showed no resistance to coming home instead of the hospital. Just escaping from that place seemed to have released his tension. Carrying the limp Ido, Wookyung went up to his place and carefully laid Ido down on the bed.
And looked down at Ido lying still.
“…Ido-ya.”
“……”
“Rest here. I’ll bring clothes for you to wear. …Want to wash up?”
Ido slowly opened his eyes. But as if not the slightest bit curious about the location, Ido didn’t look around even though it was his first time here. He just stared at the ceiling like a doll and shook his head. He didn’t even make eye contact with Wookyung.
“Okay. Sleep a little. Put on some clothes first, then let’s call a doctor. And…”
“……”
“…Dokyung is…”
That single name brought a flash of light to his lifeless pupils. Ido silently turned his gaze to look at Wookyung. Though he said nothing, Wookyung could read the clear reproach and condemnation in Ido’s eyes.
Wookyung lowered his head like a sinner. He felt as if he’d spoken a name he had no right to mention. But for Wookyung, Dokyung’s name had already become as precious as Ido’s, a name that made his throat tighten with affection just from saying it. Wookyung continued speaking in a choked voice, stammering.
“…I’ll have Yoonkyung… bring him here after daycare. Would that… be okay?”
“……”
“Today… let’s just rest here today, Ido-ya… comfortably…”
Speaking almost pleadingly, Wookyung carefully, carefully took Ido’s small hand.
“Whatever you need, I’ll do it all for you… I can do everything. That work… let’s quit that job first. I won’t let you go there. I absolutely… won’t let you go. No, you don’t need to do any work at all. Let’s just focus on resting.”
“……”
“I’ll tell Dokyung to come here, and I’ll call a doctor here too… let’s rest comfortably here. Ido-ya. Let’s get treatment first. Okay? Or, are you hungry? If you’re too exhausted, should you just sleep first?”
The gaze watching Wookyung, who was rambling uncharacteristically, still felt no warmth. Ido slowly reached out his hand. It looked like he was asking for something. Unable to immediately know what he needed, Wookyung made a troubled face.
After hesitating for a moment and desperately searching his mind, Wookyung soon brought over a notepad and pen with an uncertain expression and placed them in his hands.
“…Is this what you were looking for?”
Without answering, Ido slowly wrote letters on the paper. Like a student waiting for punishment, Wookyung stood restlessly beside the bed where Ido lay with his large frame. And the next moment, he bit his lip as he looked at the paper Ido held out.
[You don’t need to call a doctor. I was only hit in the face a little. Thank you for saving me. I’m very tired, so I’ll rest a bit and then leave when it’s time to pick up Dokyung. I’ll pick up Dokyung and go back to my own place.]
*
The soft bedding wrapped around his body was more comfortable than necessary. The plush mattress supporting his strained back, and the t-shirt Wookyung had given him before leaving, were the same. Though it was so big he had to fold it several times, his t-shirt touching him softly didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable.
Despite this, sleep didn’t come easily. Ido had already been lying quietly in bed for two hours. After seeing what he’d written on the paper, Wookyung had frozen, so Ido wrote additionally that he was getting sleepy and wanted to rest alone for a bit. That he was really okay, that he just wanted to rest, so please don’t call a doctor or anything.
Seeing that, he couldn’t say anything more and turned around to leave. With words that he should rest well, and he’d wake him up in time for pickup.
Left alone in Wookyung’s room, Ido quietly closed his eyes. The comfort washing over him felt unfamiliar. It felt like being a caterpillar wrapping itself in a protective barrier from the world while waiting to become a butterfly. Cozy, and comfortable to the point of drowsiness. Before he knew it, he was pulling the blanket soaked with his scent over himself and persistently smelling it.
Am I crazy, why am I doing this—it was the moment he hesitated. A sudden realization flashed through his mind.
‘…The imprint hasn’t broken.’
He vaguely understood the reason for this comfort. Even though they’d been apart for so long, the imprint seemed to have persisted remarkably. The pheromones of an omega who’d found his owner after several years were accepting the pheromones thickly layered in Wookyung’s room as endlessly sweet. And were saying that finally, they felt alive.
The concentration that had been faintly present at Yoonkyung’s house last time hadn’t affected him much, but this was Wookyung’s bedroom. As it was the place where the pheromone’s owner usually relaxed and released his pheromones most comfortably, the concentration of pheromones was immeasurably thick. Entrusting his body to the pheromones that wrapped around every inch of his skin without gaps, Ido closed his eyes. It felt like a long-blocked airway had finally opened up.
The concentration would have been overwhelming for other omegas. But for Ido, who had been imprinted by his pheromones, it couldn’t feel more comfortable. It felt like lying in a sunny spot under warm sunlight. Though his pheromones had changed beyond recognition, the sense of stability they gave Ido was the same as before.
For several years, his whole body had periodically ached and hurt, and especially when heat cycles came, he’d suffered so terribly he’d cried out. The heat and sexual arousal that no one could relieve periodically tormented Ido. Because he hadn’t had heat while carrying Dokyung, it was only after giving birth that he realized all of it was imprinting pain.
At a pediatrician’s office he’d once taken him to, the doctor said it was a miracle that little Dokyung had been born healthy. Normally, to grow healthily in the womb, there needed to be periodic exposure to the pheromones of the alpha who’d impregnated them, but seeing how healthy he was born, the alpha’s traits must be very superior.
His excellent traits had maintained his omega’s pregnancy despite his absence, allowed Dokyung to be born healthy, and even protected the imprint from breaking. His imprint surrounding him seemed to have no intention of letting Ido go, unlike its master who hadn’t appeared for many years.
Wookyung probably hadn’t been feeling well either, so how had he endured that suffering? Ido thought blankly. Since he was a dominant alpha, had the imprint he’d given him already completely broken? And had he been preparing to fly away holding someone else’s hand?
Had he been maintaining the imprint he’d given him? He couldn’t quite remember. Things had been moving so urgently until just a moment ago that he’d had no presence of mind. Mulling it over, Ido let out a dry laugh. What does it matter? Maybe the imprint he’d given him broke a very long time ago.
In the languidness that felt like his body was floating above water, Ido blinked slowly. In his drowsy consciousness, suddenly all of this felt like a dream.
If it were a dream, where would the dream start from? From when Wookyung came to save him? Or from when he suddenly had to part with Wookyung? Or was it all a dream from when he joined Daneum and met him?
