‘You should come to me instead of treating yourself alone… I would have done it for you.’
‘You always cry when you see my blood.’
‘I hate it when Team Leader gets hurt.’
‘Anyway, I hate seeing you cry because it hurts my heart. I can do it myself.’
Watching Wookyung speak stubbornly, Ido extended his slender arm. As Ido gestured with his eyes for him to lie down using his arm as a pillow, Wookyung burst into laughter.
‘Lie down. Since you already treated everything yourself, then I’ll put you to sleep. Sleep is the best medicine for injuries.’
‘Won’t your arm break if I lie down?’
‘Of course not. Even though I’m an omega, I’m still a man.’
‘How are you going to put me to sleep? What, are you going to sing me a lullaby?’
‘Yes, if that’s what Team Leader wants.’
As a joke, he laid his head on Ido’s slender arm. Ido hugged Wookyung’s head tightly and patted his chest with his pretty hands as if putting a child to sleep. Then he parted his red lips and sang softly.
‘Mom’s in the island’s shade…’
Sometimes he hummed quietly, and on other days he hummed with his mouth closed. Listening to that child’s humming lullaby, he would really start to feel sleepy. It felt like lying in a dark and damp but comfortable rose garden, drifting off to sleep. Wrapped in petal-like delicate pheromones and the low sound of the lullaby, when he closed his eyes, he would really sink comfortably into deep consciousness.
‘…Pointlessly… Haa.’
He felt like he had chosen this song for no reason. Just like the song lyrics, the baby’s daddy went to work, and the baby left alone has to sleep in a stranger’s arms like this. And for him, who had to recall someone without mental preparation, his heart was becoming just as heavy.
Wookyung stopped singing.
“Sorry. Instead of this song, let me sing something else…”
“Heu-a, aa-“
However, Dokyung seemed to really like that song. When he stopped singing and tried to sing something else, the baby immediately lifted his head that had been resting comfortably and pursed his lips. Startled, Wookyung hurriedly started singing again.
“Okay, okay. Little rascal, such an impatient personality…”
“Heu-a, a-ang, a-ang.”
“The sea’s lullaby…”
When Wookyung’s thick voice sang that song again, the child gradually stopped crying as if under a spell. He yawned and rested his head back on Wookyung’s chest, which was rocking gently and pleasantly. His long eyelashes fluttered.
“The baby falls asleep…”
There seemed to be a second verse, but he didn’t know the lyrics for the second verse, so he sang only the first verse on infinite repeat. Fortunately, thanks to singing endlessly, the baby gratefully blinked his eyes slower and slower. Blink, blink, blink… and at some point, his closed eyes didn’t open.
Seeing Dokyung sleeping in his arms while breathing evenly, Wookyung let out a sigh of relief. In case the baby would snap his eyes open if he stopped singing, he sang the lullaby in a small voice without rest.
His appearance cradling the baby while singing a lullaby was reflected in the veranda glass window against the night view. Seeing the shadow of a huge, tall man struggling while holding a tiny baby, Wookyung smiled weakly. It was an unfamiliar sight that even he had never encountered before. The man reflected in the window seemed like a completely different person.
Nevertheless.
Regular breathing. Peacefully lowered eyelashes wet with tears. Slightly parted triangular lips. Cheeks flushed red with fever and thin, pretty-smelling hair.
It was a new world he had never experienced before. But strangely, his heart welcomed this tiny world. He couldn’t understand what made him so drawn to this small baby.
‘…So this is why people call babies angels.’
The sleeping figure really looked like an angel. And strangely, the sleeping figure of this child kept overlapping with that beautiful person who used to sing him lullabies.
An angel-like good child, and he must have gone to where angels live… so seeing this innocent little child and thinking of that person might be somewhat reasonable.
Perhaps that’s why. Looking at the sleeping child, he felt a prickling sensation as if a small spark had flown into a corner of his heart.
“…Sleep well. Dokyung-ah.”
Greeting in a very small voice, Wookyung carefully laid the baby down on the blanket. And Wookyung also lay down next to him. He could only sleep two or three hours even lying in bed anyway. Thinking he should keep watch throughout the night to see if the baby was sleeping well, Wookyung also closed his eyes beside the baby. The sound of gentle breathing was strangely stabilizing Wookyung’s heart.
*
While driving to Yeodanhwa, Hyunjin realized he was gradually losing his rationality. The feeling of being slowly conquered by anger was something he had encountered after a long time, but he hated it enough to shudder. No matter how much he tried to take slow deep breaths into his seething chest, or tried to seek mental stability by tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, it was useless.
He had to meet that bastard right away and fuck him up. Only then would this anger be released.
Hyunjin glared at the red traffic light in front of him and spat out a curse. “Fuck.” The people crossing the crosswalk chaotically were so irritating. People, people, people, fuck, he wished they would stop pouring out. The large and small, old and young humans inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide uselessly before his eyes all looked disgusting and annoying.
[Mahāprajñāpāramitā Hṛdaya Sūtra…]
“Fuck, shut up, shut the fuck up!”
Unable to contain his anger, Hyunjin shouted at the Buddhist scripture he had playing. Whether the sound leaked through the slightly open window, the driver in the next lane who was lined up beside him looked at him with an absurd expression. Hyunjin huffed while hastily rolling up the window to fully close the darkly tinted glass. Everything from one to ten was dog shit.
Come to think of it, just driving to Yeodanhwa wasn’t enough to get things done. Since he hated making wasted trips, he naturally always moved after making a reservation, but today he hadn’t even thought about making a reservation. Even this aspect was unlike his usual self, which made him even more irritated.
That frail and obscene whore would surely sell well even at the establishment. Looking up at the men with that pitiful face, frantically offering his filthy hole to this guy and that guy. While sneering inwardly like that, Hyunjin was taking out his phone with anxious hands.
“Answer. Answer it. Why aren’t you answering, you fucking…”
-Yes, this is Yeodanhwa.
Just as his hysterically muttering tone was escalating in the car, Yeodanhwa’s manager answered the phone in a calm voice. Instead of greeting politely first as usual, Hyunjin threw out his business abruptly.
“Can I use that who—, no, that… Lee Jeong-ssi today?”
-…Is this perhaps Dr. Kim?
“Yes, it’s me.”
-Ah… Yes. Lee Jeong is…
The voice that seemed to pause made him impatient. Swallowing dry saliva, Hyunjin anxiously swept back his hair. It has to work. Say it. Say it’s possible. Otherwise, there’s nowhere to vent this shitty feeling.
Fortunately, the manager said “Ah” and spoke again.
-…Ah, he happens to be free. Then today…
“Please make a reservation. I’m on my way now.”
-Yes, please drive safely.
Click. As soon as he hung up the phone, complete satisfaction flooded in like a tide.
“Haah…”
Like someone who had won a game, wearing a satisfied smile, Hyunjin leaned his head leisurely against the headrest.
Suddenly his chest tickled, and a “puhup” sound burst out. Hyunjin’s chest trembled in small jerks. Soon the trembling like vibrations slowly spread to his shoulders and back, and Hyunjin threw his head back and burst into loud laughter.
“Puhuhuhuh… kuk, keuheuheuheu… ahaha, wahahaha!”
He didn’t know what was so funny. He just wanted to release and vent the satisfaction that was brimming up to his throat.
Psychiatrist Kim Hyunjin who had to wear a fake smile and craft kind words in the world. Kim Hyunjin, the only son of National Assembly member and ruling party representative Kim Hyuncheol. Kim Hyunjin, the ordinary beta son who should have manifested as an alpha to follow in his father’s footsteps but fucking didn’t.
He could be not the fake Kim Hyunjin carrying such shitty titles, but the real Kim Hyunjin who could do as he pleased. The inside of the car was entirely Hyunjin’s personal space, and the moment he rolled up the darkly tinted glass window all the way, he could be completely shut off from the disgusting outside world. Laugh if it’s funny, curse if he wants to curse, sing if he wants to sing, spit if he wants to spit. That real self.
And now, the road heading to Yeodanhwa was a road toward a bit more complete freedom.
“You’re here? Lee Jeong-ssi.”
The moment that pale-faced whore opened the door and bowed, Hyunjin almost burst into loud laughter like in the car.
Yeodanhwa was famous for having high prices even among entertainment establishments. And Lee Jeong was expensive even in a place like this. But Hyunjin had just paid the money to play with this whore all night long and was on his way up. The titles that had been tiresomely clinging to him, which he had briefly recalled in the car, quickly flew out of his head. Only a capable man who could readily buy an expensive whore and deserved blind devotion was sitting here.
Looking at him with a clear face and docile eyes, he definitely also held fear in his eyes. Seeing that gaze, satisfaction and elation rose even more.
Yes, hurry and be afraid. Because I, who can torment you and make you cry, have come here now.
“Suck properly. Tighten your lips more.”
“Heu, uu…”
