He cried endlessly and begged to be let out. When his eyes stung and his throat became hoarse so he could no longer cry, the eternally closed door opened. It was around the time he thought that if he could just capture a sliver of light in his eyes, he could spread his legs without hesitation. Completely breaking down Ido’s mind like this was the beginning of the ‘work’ they wanted.
However, there was something more agonizing than the work he had to do here from now on or the wounds from being beaten, something incomparable.
The fact he didn’t want to believe—that Wookyung had abandoned him.
The touch of hands that had held him and the gaze that had looked at him were still vivid. The rough hands that had wiped away his flowing tears and the touch that had carefully stroked him as if he might break were still left like this. The body heat that had touched him had been so warm. All of those things couldn’t have been lies.
‘No. No… No.’
It was a belief solid as rock, his feelings toward him. However, during the harsh years spent doing what they made him do at the establishment, in the time as indifferent and fierce as rough waves, that belief slowly weathered and was chipped away. Worn down and worn down, the belief that had become smaller than it was at first eventually shattered to pieces one day, and the small, warm world Wookyung had created for Ido also crumbled along with it.
‘The new president of Daneum, you know. President Lim Moojin. They say he really favors that newly appointed executive director?’
It was while he was entertaining some organizational members whose names he didn’t know, wearing messy scraps of cloth that couldn’t even be called clothes. The familiar words that came from their mouths sharply grabbed Ido’s attention. He didn’t even realize he was unknowingly raising his eyes to look at the men’s faces.
‘Who? Executive Director Choi Wookyung?’
‘Yeah. After the two of them hit President Park and overhauled the organization, they seem to get along well. Daneum is really going strong.’
‘Huh, that bastard Choi Wookyung has really made it big too.’
‘That’s what I’m saying. They say a position makes the person—his face looked really bright, you know? That guy who just followed the old man around.’
At that moment, the strength left his hands.
He didn’t even know he had dropped the bottle. The sound of the bottle falling to the floor and breaking with a crash, the sound of the men cursing buzzed in his ears. Like someone who couldn’t hear any of it, Ido just stood there blankly.
‘Ah, fuck, is this crazy…’
‘Hey, what’s suddenly wrong with this one? Has he lost it?’
It felt like his heart suddenly shriveled up. The area around his crushed heart, as if it would never expand again, ached dully. He had to forcibly shove air into his heart, which seemed to have no oxygen left in it. Otherwise, it felt like he would die soon.
He tried to breathe, but his chest wouldn’t expand at all. Gasping for breath, he collapsed on the spot. Glass shards scattered messily on the floor stabbed his cheeks. With his body against the floor pooled with cold alcohol, Ido clutched his chest in pain.
…You were alive. And yet… me, me…
Lying with his cheek against the floor, he thought such things blankly. Only after his heart shriveled as much as it could shrivel did he realize. Like a fool, the years he had waited for him flew away futilely in a gust of wind.
Actually, until now he had worried that Wookyung might be dead. Unlike his words that he would save him no matter what, while missing his figure that didn’t appear every single night. He had thought there was no way he wouldn’t appear like this otherwise. Unless he was dead, there was no way he wouldn’t come to save me.
But it wasn’t so.
He had forgotten him and was living very well… in a world without him.
‘Heu-euk… Ah, ugh…’
The surface of the sharp glass shards lying shattered on the floor mercilessly pressed against Ido’s chest and cheek, splitting his skin. Cold alcohol and hot blood mixed, wetting his face and body. However, he didn’t feel the pain of his skin tearing from the beginning. Once he realized a certain fact, only his heart hurt.
The person who had filled him completely, and thus had made him live.
Was no longer inside him.
The day he slipped out of his heart, he took away even the ember that had been flickering as it burned inside Ido.
Having lost his life force, Ido quickly deteriorated. Days when he sat blankly like an idiot increasingly grew. Even when customers spoke to him, his reaction came one beat slow. The smile he was supposed to wear for entertaining no longer came out. As if he had become a fool, or as if he had become a doll. Ido gradually lost his expressions. No matter how much the broker beat him for not smiling brightly and kindly, it was useless.
Without pride or ego, after giving his body all night to the men who coveted his body temperature, mucous membranes, and flesh with those dying eyes, when he looked at the window where dawn was breaking palely, sometimes his sweet voice, like an auditory hallucination, would be heard from somewhere.
‘Because you’re precious to me now.’
He didn’t want to hear it. A voice he wanted to dig out from his memories, he really didn’t want to recall it anymore now. But no matter how much he covered his ears, the low, husky voice continued to be heard.
‘I’ll never send you to a dangerous place. So trust me and wait.’
Why make a promise you can’t keep? If you were going to deceive me, if you were going to live well without me. Why did you make a promise with such a sweet voice?
Why did you need me? To use me to kill President Park? Was my existence to you really just that? Was my role only up to there?
If that’s the case, why did you look at me with such affectionate eyes? If that’s the case, why did you hold me with such warm hands? If that’s the case, why did you look at me eating the meal you bought with such pleased eyes?
Why, why, why me…
‘Lee Jeong-ssi. Lee Jeong-ssi?’
A different voice was heard from somewhere, piercing through the darkness. Unlike his voice that still shook his eardrums hazily while submerged in the past, it was a voice with a strangely realistic feeling.
Whose voice was it? In his slowly returning consciousness, Lee Jeong suddenly opened his eyes at the shaking touch. The Manager and Min were looking down at him with worried faces.
“Lee Jeong-ssi. …Lee Jeong-ssi? Can you hear me? Your fever is too high?”
*
It was a day off after a long time. Wookyung slowly opened his eyes to the sunlight pouring in through the curtains.
His clear mind rotated quickly. Rather than being in a hazy state unable to sleep as usual with nerves sharply on edge, his thoughts turned refreshingly as if he had quenched a long-standing thirst, and Wookyung blinked while looking at the ceiling for a moment.
Not just his head, but his whole body felt light as if it would fly away. The rut symptoms that had unpleasantly enveloped his whole body had subsided faster than usual.
…Come to think of it, he had no memory from the time he came home last night and collapsed on the bed until morning.
‘Did I sleep through the night?’
He couldn’t believe it. How long had it been since he slept so soundly?
Lying still, Wookyung groped to find the reason for his sound sleep. He hadn’t drunk particularly a lot last night. And he wasn’t originally the type to try to sleep with the help of alcohol. He had tried several times, but drinking only awakened his nerves rather than letting him sleep soundly.
Other than that, what was different from usual was… the rut cycle. But that also interfered with sleep if anything, it wasn’t a condition that allowed sound sleep.
‘…Then.’
The flow of his thoughts naturally stopped at the empty room at Yeodanhwa where he had done ‘that thing’. It had a bitter, damp scent. It wasn’t the scent typical omegas had. Most had sweet scents like flowers or fruits, not such an unattractive scent like mercilessly crushed grass stalks.
Nevertheless, the omega’s scent that not only calmed his rut but even allowed him to sleep soundly.
While blankly picturing in his mind the pheromones he had smelled yesterday, he wasn’t particularly curious about who the owner of the pheromones was. He had no intention of visiting that place again. Anyway, he had no intention of meeting or embracing any omega other than that child for the rest of his life. Even if it was an omega who sold their body, easily obtainable. He was just intrigued.
Wookyung abruptly got up and entered the fitness room set up in his house. It was a space he had prepared to relieve stress through exercise here and there in his busy daily life.
He ran lightly on the treadmill for about fifteen minutes, then started weight training. Although he no longer did work that directly used his body, he had originally graduated from physical education university, and moving his body was a habit naturally ingrained in Wookyung.
He pushed a little more, a little more to the limit until the muscles he wanted to train writhed. Only in the moment when he exhaled panting after putting down the heavy iron mass as if throwing it away with a rough sigh did his mind feel empty. That’s why he liked exercise.
He took off his sweat-soaked workout clothes, put them in the basket, and entered the bathroom to turn on the water. His well-built, heavy muscles rose and fell in sync with his rough breathing. To relieve the faintly remaining heat of the rut, he exercised a bit more than usual. The cold water pouring over his head quickly washed away the sweat flowing from his body and cooled the heat.
After finishing his shower, Wookyung moved to the dressing room while drying his hair with a towel. As he took out comfortable training clothes and put them on his body, he looked for his phone with his eyes. Finding the cell phone he had left carelessly by the bedside, he called his lunch date for today.
After a few rings, the call connected.
-Hello.
It was a slightly disheveled voice. Wookyung smiled and greeted her warmly.
“Good morning. So, have you decided what you want to eat today?”
-Oppa, that’s not the problem. I don’t think I can meet you today. I was just about to call you.
“What? Why?”
Frowning slightly, Wookyung came out to the living room and flopped down on the sofa. The living room floor, where sunlight poured in brightly, didn’t have a speck of dust. Come to think of it, the housekeeper must have come by yesterday.
“Is something wrong? You know this is an appointment we made after several months, right?”
-I know. Do you think I don’t know how busy our Choi Wookyung-ssi is? There are circumstances.
“What circumstances? More important than me? What guy is it?”
