Chapter 88: Come Back to My Side
Dohyuk rose hastily and bumped into the table. Seeing this, Yeon winced as if he felt the pain himself.
“Yeon…”
Dohyuk had thought countless times about what he would do when he found Yeon. Should he first check his entire body to see if he was injured anywhere? Or should he get angry and ask why he hadn’t contacted him despite being alive? Or perhaps he should just take him away and confine him immediately.
But now that Yeon was actually in front of him, Dohyuk’s mind seemed to go completely blank. This was impossible for him. He had never lost his rationality in any situation, even when facing men rushing at him with knives.
“Take him inside. You two seem to have some private matters to discuss.”
Lee Yeon told Yeon to take Dohyuk inside. The familiar tone and attitude made Dohyuk look at her once more.
“Don’t be needlessly jealous. I’m probably more than ten years older than him.”
Lee Yeon answered with a playful smile. Dohyuk frowned, wondering how she seemed to know his feelings, then realized she could see the colors of the threads too. Whether it was malicious emotions or romantic feelings, everything appeared as colored threads to her, so she must have seen his feelings toward her in that moment.
“This way, please.”
Yeon led the way. He seemed familiar with the interior of the cafe. Going around to the back, there were separate rooms for the manager’s office and staff lounge. Just then, Lee Je, who was coming out of the manager’s office, saw Yeon and Dohyuk and made an “Ah” sound as if understanding something.
“So it was this Yeon.”
He didn’t add anything else. He just passed by as if uninterested.
“His manner of speaking is harsh, but he’s not a bad person.”
Yeon made excuses for him. That didn’t feel good either. Even though he knew there were no other emotions involved, it was unpleasant to hear Yeon talk about another man. After not seeing him for months, his obsession and possessiveness toward Yeon had swollen to a dangerous level.
“Kang Dohyuk-ssi’s way of speaking isn’t exactly gentle either.”
He must have been watching the entire exchange when Dohyuk first entered the cafe and argued with the manager.
“I’m not that ill-mannered. Speaking informally right off the bat to a stranger…”
“You did that too, Kang Dohyuk-ssi.”
Yeon cut off Dohyuk’s words.
“You used polite speech when we first met, but the moment you judged someone to be beneath you, you switched to informal speech without asking permission. You did the same thing just now when you entered the cafe.”
“That’s…!”
When he entered the cafe and heard someone knew Yeon, his nerves had been on edge, and he couldn’t see anything else.
“Kang Dohyuk-ssi’s politeness isn’t out of respect for others. It’s coldness meant to draw a line, closer to icy contempt.”
Yeon evaluated Dohyuk dispassionately.
“On the other hand, while Lee Je-ssi speaks that way, he fundamentally has warmth toward people.”
“So what?”
Dohyuk’s mood soured at these words that seemed to take the cafe owner’s side. When he responded coldly, Yeon, who had been quietly looking at Dohyuk, slowly shifted his gaze. The moment Yeon’s eyes moved away from him, Dohyuk’s heart throbbed painfully.
‘That boy beside you—if you try to possess him by force, you might end up doing the same thing as the Muryeong organization.’
Why did he suddenly recall Chairman Kang Mansik’s final words at this moment? Hadn’t he said that protecting and possessing were different? Of course, the meanings of the words were different from the start. But what was the difference between wanting to protect something in order to possess it? What was wrong with saying he wanted to protect something because it was his? Was it wrong to want to keep someone close in order to protect them?
“Kang Dohyuk-ssi.”
Yeon spoke again.
“You are fundamentally a cold person. Before, and now.”
At the mention of “before,” Dohyuk grabbed Yeon’s arm and pulled him close. Even with their faces just inches apart, Yeon looked up at Dohyuk without blinking.
“I don’t care what I was like in a past life. What do you want to do now? You were alive but never contacted me once. Is this your answer? Do you know how much I…!”
Worried. It felt like his heart was burning up. Every time he heard reports that no evidence of Yeon being alive could be found, it felt as if his blood was drying up. Because of Yeon, he had discovered for the first time that he could feel such desperation.
He had grown up with almost no emotional fluctuations. No matter what he saw, he would just observe with a cold gaze, unable to feel anything. But Yeon was at the center of every emotional whirlwind he experienced. Only with Yeon did he lose his composure. He couldn’t tell exactly when he had become such a mess.
“You were worried.”
Yeon answered in a quiet voice. His hand rose hesitantly, then gently cupped Dohyuk’s face.
“I’m sorry. For making you worry.”
Like a lie, those few words immediately calmed Dohyuk’s boiling emotions. He had never considered himself particularly inarticulate, but for some reason, at this moment, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Just the fact that Yeon was alive and standing before him was overwhelming.
He wrapped his arm around Yeon’s shoulder and hugged him tightly. Though the force was strong enough to hurt, Yeon neither twisted his body in discomfort nor asked to be released. He just stood still, enveloped in Dohyuk’s embrace.
“You said once, not you now, but you from before… You said at the end, let’s not meet in the next life. With an expression like you were about to cry…”
Yeon continued speaking gently.
“It was the first time. The first time I saw your expression distorted that much because of me. You were truly sorry to me, so sorry that you said we should never meet again, and that’s how I knew.”
If his past self had felt the same emotions and thoughts as his current self, that statement would have been a lie. It had only been a few months, but the thought of losing Yeon had made him feel like he might go mad and die. Yet to say they should never meet…
Ah, now he understood. If they had never met at all, he wouldn’t have known this desperation. Perhaps that’s what his past self had meant. But they had met again, and if so, there could be no other choice.
“I hoped that this ill-fated connection might be severed if we were apart. That’s why I couldn’t contact you.”
Yeon gently pushed against Dohyuk’s chest and raised his head to meet his eyes.
“But it was a futile hope.”
At these words, Dohyuk put his hand around the back of Yeon’s head and pulled him in. The force was strong enough to crush his lips. He parted Yeon’s lips and sought his tongue, entangling it with his own. Without resistance, Yeon’s hot tongue intertwined with his. The rough kiss that seemed as if he would devour Yeon continued for a while, but Yeon did not reject Dohyuk.
“You’re making me strange.”
Their lips had separated, but they were still close enough that their breaths mingled. So Dohyuk couldn’t see Yeon’s face properly. Yeon grasped Dohyuk’s suit jacket. Only then did Dohyuk notice that Yeon’s hands were trembling slightly.
“I thought something might change if I properly cut all your ill-fated connections. And that if I distanced myself from you, neither I nor you would have to die…”
Yeon’s voice seemed to be growing wet. Dohyuk stepped back slightly and cupped Yeon’s cheek, lifting his face. Though he wasn’t crying, moisture rippled in his blue eyes.
“But in that moment when I thought I was going to die, what I wished for was…”
As Yeon closed his eyes, tears flowed down his white cheeks. When Dohyuk brushed the tear tracks with his thumb, Yeon placed his hand over Dohyuk’s.
“I wanted to live. I didn’t want to die… I wanted to live by your side… to see a different ending than before.”
Watching him silently cry, without even making sobbing sounds, just dropping tears, made Dohyuk’s heart ache unbearably.
“I hate seeing you hurt. I hate seeing dark energy flowing through your body because of me. But I still don’t think I should let you go. Even if it means becoming unhappy, do it by my side. For me, letting you go is…”
It would be the same as being dead while alive. Now he seemed to understand. Why the end of the bloody storm that had been repeated in their past life had always been his own death. He had gradually gone mad after losing Yeon. He must have felt Yeon’s absence keenly and regretted it belatedly, eventually taking his own life.
He still had no memories of his past life. But he was convinced that his end had always been suicide. Yeon probably wouldn’t know that part. Since it was always Yeon who died first, there was no way he could know. So he must have hoped that by distancing himself, the red thread between them might be cut.
“Let’s go back, Yeon. Come back to my side.”
He murmured softly while holding Yeon.
It felt like his blocked airways were gradually opening up. Now he truly would never let go again. Even if the end of the red thread was bloody, he would rather die soaked in blood. Better than dying from dried-up blood.
***
Lee Je came out to the cafe and spotted Lee Yeon sitting by the window, then approached her.
“Is this really okay? After all your efforts.”
“If connections could be severed by effort, why would everyone suffer so much?”
“That kid, they say he can cut connections.”
“Red threads cannot be cut.”
Lee Yeon answered firmly.
“With only red threads, both are likely to become unhappy.”
Lee Je clicked his tongue. A red thread represented obsession and desire for the other. And a blue thread represented consideration and respect for the other. Love becomes whole only when all these emotions blend together. That’s why since ancient times, it was said that fated partners are born with both red and blue threads intertwined. While obsession and desire were indeed aspects of affection, without simultaneous consideration for the other, they would only lead to mutual destruction.
“Is that so?”
Lee Yeon asked with raised intonation, her eyes forming a gentle smile.
“What are you plotting?”
Lee Je wagged his tongue, saying he couldn’t understand her intentions.
“Human fate changes constantly. That’s what makes it interesting. Existing threads can be cut, and new threads can form.”
At her meaningful words, Lee Je raised one eyebrow crookedly.
“Don’t tell me… it formed?”
To Lee Je’s question, Lee Yeon only smiled.
The blue thread they didn’t have—Lee Yeon had seen a blue thread emerge from Kang Dohyuk today. However, whether this newly formed blue thread would reach Yeon and connect completely was another matter entirely.
