“Mmm.”
Jiwon, completely unaware of Seo Gangwoo’s state, pondered while taking his time.
“There are various things.”
What could there be to say about his bland self, yet he says there are various things. Seo Gangwoo’s fingertips and toes stiffened with tension.
He focused on Jiwon’s pleasant-sounding voice. He prayed that nothing bad about himself would come out from between those beautiful lips.
Throughout his life, he had never once cared about how others saw him or what they thought of him. Enduring pain day after day, paying attention to anything else was a luxury.
But now he regretted his past self.
Every time the Ability User Headquarters PR Department requested external activities, he found it troublesome and annoying and didn’t do them, but he should have endured and tried.
He hoped he hadn’t given a bad impression. Seo Gangwoo thought he hoped Jiwon didn’t hate having him by his side too much.
Then Jiwon spread out his five fingers with a very serious expression. Seo Gangwoo’s black eyes looking at him trembled faintly.
A small hand that would fit entirely within his own grasp.
The thumb folding inward.
“First of all, I said you’re incredibly! handsome.”
“……?”
Seo Gangwoo, who had been tensing up and even holding his breath wondering what words would come out of Jiwon’s mouth, froze in a daze, wondering if he had heard correctly.
His thought circuits started operating normally belatedly. Seo Gangwoo’s brain read Jiwon’s words once more, and he helplessly lost strength and hung his head deeply.
Jiwon, puzzled by this and looking at him properly, became wide-eyed like a surprised rabbit.
Though it was an expression that seemed to pass by lightly with a “pfft,” Seo Gangwoo was smiling for the first time.
“Uh… U-uh…! Y-you’re tall, and strong…, uh, your shoulders are killer….”
Flustered by the suddenly changed atmosphere, Jiwon stammered but somehow managed to keep talking so that smile could continue.
Whether that effort worked or not, a small but clear sound of laughter flowed out.
His long eyes curved drawing a gentle line, and the corner of his mouth slightly tilted to one side was charming.
This is really cheating.
Jiwon clutched his surprised heart and couldn’t take his eyes off Seo Gangwoo’s face. But the smile that had formed for a moment disappeared quickly as if nothing had happened.
Ugh.
Jiwon unconsciously smacked his lips at the great disappointment, calmed his still pounding heart, and barely turned his gaze to his folded fingers, continuing the words he had originally intended to say gently.
“And… I haven’t known you long, but you’re someone who is stronger than anyone yet careful and cautious enough not to carelessly use your strength even when mentally unstable, someone who looks cold and blunt but whose actions are kind, someone reliable, and even more trustworthy because your attitude isn’t frivolous.”
Folding his fingers one by one, this time Jiwon’s smile deepened.
“Come to think of it, I really did only pass along incredibly good words. But I can’t help it. I haven’t discovered any flaws yet.”
At the unexpected shower of praise, Seo Gangwoo became dizzy in a different sense than before, not even knowing if he was breathing properly right now.
Unable to believe reality, he bit his lower lip hard. With the vivid pain, relief and joy came together.
He was just amazed at Jiwon, who only saw good in him despite being full of defects with only the exterior intact.
He thought it might just be polite words, but those clear brown eyes were looking at him without wavering.
Before hearing the words, Seo Gangwoo’s confidence, which had been endlessly sinking into anxiety, was pulled up to the surface in one go.
Seo Gangwoo’s chest felt tight and overwhelming.
“Isn’t that… too generous an evaluation?”
“It was an accurate and cold assessment.”
Jiwon said firmly with an expression that said, I’m serious right now.
“I’m not such a good person.”
“You might not be a good person. But to me, that’s how you are right now.”
At Jiwon’s words, Seo Gangwoo felt so good he could fly, but on the other hand, worry came flooding in again.
Just how was this person seeing him? Wouldn’t he keep seeing only the good and gradually become disappointed and tired of him?
A personality that was neither fun nor good at human relationships. The only thing he knew how to do was kill monsters, and even that was with an unstable body condition, receiving guiding all day long with Jiwon’s help.
Seo Gangwoo, who had never formed a deep relationship with anyone, found his relationship with Jiwon cautious and difficult. Though it didn’t show on the outside, inside he didn’t know what to do with frustration, anxiety, and impatience.
A long life of loneliness and hardship was preventing him from fully enjoying the happiness that had suddenly come his way.
Self-loathing at himself for quickly becoming anxious even while feeling the joy and happiness Jiwon gave him. These intense emotions that soared upward and then crashed to the bottom in an instant like riding a roller coaster were so unfamiliar and uncontrollable that he felt like he was going insane.
In the end, Seo Gangwoo couldn’t handle those emotions and let them out.
“…You might be disappointed later.”
Jiwon’s eyes widened at Seo Gangwoo’s unexpectedly weak words. Jiwon had an intuition that he shouldn’t take those words lightly.
Though his face was expressionless, because they were facing each other closely, he didn’t miss the eyes that wavered for a moment.
“Why do you think that?”
Even at Jiwon’s question, Seo Gangwoo couldn’t answer for a long time. He didn’t know what to say or how.
“Was Esper Seo Gangwoo-nim’s appearance up until now a lie?”
“That’s not it.”
“Then you don’t need to worry.”
Jiwon held Seo Gangwoo’s hand.
The words he had said to Seo Gangwoo were honest words without even a bit of pretense. But he hadn’t expected Seo Gangwoo to be shaken this much.
Jiwon didn’t know that he was more moved because the sincerity contained in those words was properly conveyed.
If anything was fortunate, it was that he didn’t hide it and spoke up first. Seo Gangwoo didn’t have much change in expression, so if you didn’t observe carefully, it wasn’t easy to notice his inner thoughts.
If he had pretended to be fine until the end and let it pass, Jiwon would have spent quite a long time not knowing what emotions Seo Gangwoo was feeling.
“I’m not such a purely kind person either. You saw me fighting then, right? I’m not just a gentle person.”
Jiwon leaned his head against the upper body in front of him. Then he felt a firm arm wrap around his waist, and he embraced the broad back in return.
Though they hadn’t been together long, it was a familiar embrace since they had been stuck together constantly doing guiding.
Though his physique itself was incomparably large compared to Jiwon, and he was an S-rank Esper who could crush even steel without touching it, his inner self was Seo Gangwoo, who remained covered in wounds from being battered by the world and life here and there.
Small Jiwon embraced that Seo Gangwoo.
“But thank you for telling me honestly.”
Even though he couldn’t see his face because they were embracing, he could feel that Seo Gangwoo was concentrating on his words.
“You know what? They say if you just endure, misunderstandings arise and problems get bigger. Let’s tell each other if there’s anything uncomfortable or displeasing while living together. I’m also inexperienced and don’t know much.”
No words could completely resolve Seo Gangwoo’s anxiety right now.
This was something that needed time. Time to build trust that they would stay together without changing.
Seo Gangwoo, who had been listening intently so as not to miss a single word of that kind voice that wasn’t very loud, pulled the body in his arms a little closer.
“We have a lot of time to be together from now on. Let’s match pace slowly. That’s enough for me.”
They felt each other’s heartbeats and quietly shared their body heat.
And Seo Gangwoo kept reflecting on Jiwon’s words about their future together.
* * *
Jiwon hummed along to the song he had playing and moved to the rhythm.
Ding—! At the sound, he grabbed a plate and placed the bread that came out of the toaster. The smell of the golden-brown toasted bread tickled his nose.
Jiwon turned and opened the refrigerator door.
The refrigerator, which had been completely empty when he first saw it, was now full of various ingredients from grocery shopping and side dishes his mom had sent.
“This, and this too!”
Jiwon took out butter, peach jam, sliced ham, and cheese in armfuls and moved them to the island table. Then he took out a fork and spread butter and peach jam on the toast bread with a scraping sound.
After starting to live with Seo Gangwoo, they had been getting by with frozen food and delivery for meals for a while. Then during a courtesy call to his family home, he mentioned it without thinking much and had to listen to his mom nag for over an hour about how it wasn’t good for the body.
After that, they got a rice cooker to eat the side dishes sent from home and started making rice, and the number of deliveries gradually decreased.
Also, cooking turned out to be quite fun once he tried it.
Since neither of them had properly cooked before, they just prepared simple things to eat, but recently they had even made tteokbokki following a famous cooking researcher’s video.
Though they made it look presentable, the taste wasn’t satisfying enough. Jiwon just ate it all for the fun of trying cooking, and Seo Gangwoo ate it all without leaving any because it was tteokbokki made together with Jiwon.
Then a message alert sounded.
