“Was it that scary?”
Rose, who had deeply embraced his trembling body with both arms, patted his back.
“Yeah. It was so painful and scary……”
The hand stroking down his back was so affectionate that Elijah’s eyes teared up a little. At moments like this, Igrit was of no help at all.
So it was truly fortunate that Rose was by his side. If he hadn’t been there, he would have been thrown alone into this cruel night.
“It’s okay. A dream is just a dream.”
No, if Rose hadn’t been there in the first place, he might not have had such a nightmare. Since it was none other than Rose’s blood-sucking that had provided the basis for that imagination……
“Right…… It’s just a dream.”
Elijah closed his eyes again with his cheek against Rose’s chest. It was ironic that the subject who caused the nightmare could simultaneously be a sanctuary.
“……Thank you.”
He fell into drowsy sleep again. While receiving affectionate kisses that fell ceaselessly on his eyelids, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, and his lips.
* * *
「February 4th.
Are you well, Master?
The wind is sharp today as well. It’s a day when my body feels unwell, perhaps due to the nightmare I had last night.
No, thinking about it now, it actually may not have been such a nightmare. Because ‘Rose’ appeared in it. She’s the only friend whose name I still remember even after all these years have passed, but regrettably, I couldn’t see her face even in the dream.
If I hadn’t woken up midway, could I have seen ‘Rose’s’ face?
The nightmare that seemed so terrible last night now feels a bit regrettable. The old monastery where everyone lived together, the old stone walls where the impact would transmit to the room next to the next when a child in the adjacent room knocked on the wall, the small bed…… All the things I missed passed by too briefly.
Sometimes I wish there was someone among my peers other than ‘Rose’ whose face I could recall. The time I spent with them clearly existed, yet I can’t remember anyone’s face or name, so sometimes it feels like an illusion
」
“That letter.”
A low voice was heard from behind.
“Who’s going to receive it?”
Perhaps because he was tormented by nightmares, it was a morning when his whole body ached with muscle pain. Elijah stopped the pen he had been moving slowly and let out a faint smile.
“Who’s going to receive it? It’ll just drift down the river and sink.”
“Then why do you write it?”
“Mm……, I feel anxious if I don’t.”
Elijah, who pondered for a moment searching for appropriate words to elaborate a bit more, added.
“It’s like an indicator that I’ve spent the day well.”
“Like a diary?”
“Right, like a diary.”
Elijah nodded. Despite his unsophisticated vocabulary and unkind explanation, Rose always understood his words precisely and pointed out exactly the right expression.
“Diaries are written to be kept and read later. Shouldn’t you not send them flowing down the river?”
“……My deceased Master specifically asked me to send them floating down the river. He said he would read them.”
“Will he really read them?”
“No. How could someone who’s passed away read them?”
Elijah wasn’t a fool, so he knew. He knew that writing letters every day that would just drift away and sink in the water was meaningless, and he knew that if it was simply for the purpose of recording, it would only be meaningful to collect them rather than send them floating down the river to dispose of them.
However, people aren’t beings who only act rationally. If he had collected all these diaries, he would probably be living now crushed by records that filled the cabin.
Buried alone in a long time with no knowing when it would end, unable to even distinguish between life and death.
“……This is just my habit.”
There were no more questions from Rose behind him. However, since he couldn’t think of anything more to write to continue the letter whose flow had been cut off by one conversation, Elijah finished it roughly.
‘Rose and I are doing well.’ The last sentence with a period was always the same. As Elijah, who had terribly little writing talent, didn’t know diverse greetings worth writing in his letters every day.
The thin paper pressed by fingertips cold from the chill made a neat triangular sail. Elijah, who had been staring at the fully folded paper boat, turned his head to look at Rose. The red eyes that had been directed downward rose upward.
“I need to go float the letter.”
Elijah wiggled his bare feet sticking out from under the blanket. Rose just blinked blankly as if he hadn’t understood his words.
Today as well, an uncomfortable silence continued. Rose was very displeased with his routine. He wasn’t sure if he just disliked going outside, or if he disliked the act of writing letters with no recipient itself. It was just a pattern that arose because he got sick too often and Rose overprotected him.
Suddenly Elijah realized anew that at some point, even a light walk had become difficult without Rose’s permission. Even when he tried to go out alone, he couldn’t find his shoes because Rose had hidden them.
According to his claim, he didn’t hide them on purpose, but considering that the shoes that couldn’t be seen no matter how much he looked for them normally were at some point held in Rose’s hands, it was a reasonable suspicion.
Elijah, who had risen from in front of the fireplace, approached him first. As his feet warmed by the toasty heat touched the cold floor, the chill immediately seeped in. Elijah, who had lightly placed his cold toes on Rose’s feet and stood up, looked up at him.
“I want to take a walk. We didn’t get to yesterday after all.”
Rose’s gaze, which had been quietly looking down at him, slowly crossed through the air toward the window. Outside the window he looked at, turning his head following him unconsciously, thin sleet was being drawn. Ah, of all times…… A sigh escaped unconsciously from his mouth that had opened limply.
“Should we go when the snow stops?”
Elijah leaned his body into his arms with a dejected feeling. He didn’t know why it was snowing now of all times when it definitely wasn’t snowing before he started writing the letter. In the past, he had walked the path well whether it snowed or rained, so he felt a bit wronged about why he couldn’t do so now.
Rose took slow steps while embracing Elijah. As if dancing to a very slow melody, Elijah, who was standing on his feet, also moved as he led.
“It might be better to go and come back now before the snowfall gets heavier.”
“It’ll probably stop soon.”
“How do you know that? It could snow all day.”
“……”
Thud, Elijah’s back bumped lightly against the wall. Elijah felt the gaze of Rose looking down at him silently was a bit strange. The gaze that observed carefully as if looking at something curious he couldn’t understand tickled his forehead.
“Why do you like going outside so much?”
Whenever there’s a chance, you only think about going out…… The muttering words as if displeased were almost close to talking to himself.
“That’s not it, I have to float the letter.”
Lips that approached neither too fast nor too slow gently touched as if blocking his words. Though it was just a light contact of gently biting and releasing the lips, Elijah tactfully stopped protesting.
……Even to himself, it seemed he was too obsessed with the letter.
But what could he do? It was the only routine he had kept for the past 200 years. It wasn’t hard work to the point of quitting because his health was poor, nor was it trivial work to skip because the weather was bad.
“Elijah.”
An affectionate question settled on the released lips.
“What did you write today?”
“……Huh?”
“In the letter.”
“The weather……, I talked about that, and about you, ……and.”
Elijah barely answered, turning his head back. His words kept dissolving into his lips. Wet friction sounds continuously spread between the locked lips.
Elijah’s body was stuck between the wall and Rose, unable to move. The strength drained from the hand that had reflexively gripped his shoulder. Instead of pushing him away, Elijah embraced his neck.
“What kind of talk?”
Unlike his unsmiling face, that voice was so affectionate it seemed to melt, so he couldn’t tell whether Rose was in a good mood or displeased.
“Just……, that you’re pretty.”
Elijah replied blankly with a flustered feeling.
“Do you sometimes badmouth me to Master too?”
“No, such, ……I’ve never done that.”
His breath trembled thinly, surprised by the suddenly started kiss. Rose didn’t stop questioning even while biting and sucking his lips with a leisurely attitude like breathing.
“Do you tell him everything about us doing this too?”
“No, mmh……, not that far, heu, mmph……”
The tongue that invaded between the parted lips slid in more deeply. It would thrust as if to block deep in his throat, then slowly retreat as if it had never done that, only to dig in again repeatedly.
Because his lips had been suddenly covered while he was talking, his breath that he hadn’t prepared for quickly became insufficient. Elijah was overwhelmed just by swallowing the saliva that had pooled abundantly in his mouth.
“Ro, mmph……, wait…… Mmh.”
When his breath rose to the tip of his chin, Rose generously shared his breath with him. Elijah, who barely obtained a single thread of breath, turned his head left and right.
“My breath……, is blocked, Rose.”
Rose gripped his chin and fixed it so he couldn’t move.
“When that happens, Elijah.”
“……”
“Open your mouth wider.”
Two fingers that suddenly invaded swept as if to pull out his tongue.
“Ah, uh.”
“Stick out your tongue. Then I’ll take care of the rest. Easy, right?”
The tongue that was pulled out inadvertently was surrounded by wet mucous membranes. Rose, who lightly sucked in the tip of the tongue that protruded slightly, kissed the parted corners of his mouth with smacks as if he had done well.
Elijah caught his breath while swallowing saliva. Because of the red eyes staring at his lips, he somehow felt embarrassed and heated up.
“Shall we try once more?”
“No……”
No, I don’t want to. Elijah had clearly intended to say that. However, as if it wasn’t a question that wanted an answer, his lips were immediately covered again. Long hands dug into his clothes.
As the hands dripping with cold touched his bare skin, Elijah trembled slightly. The fingertips wet with saliva gently rubbed around the areola that stood up in goosebumps.
