The things he’d seen weren’t all right either… He could hear people say quite often that it was difficult to make everyone understand the things that had to be accepted unavoidably because of being a trait-bearer. Everyone moved according to their own circumstances. Anywhere.
“Besides, it’s not something you can decide on your own right now. Have you talked with CEO Han about it?”
“Not deeply yet. I only heard he’s very busy. Has he contacted you separately, CEO?”
“He knows the matter is growing. It seemed like he was making some contact with you though. Wasn’t that the case?”
“…We contact each other, but we didn’t talk about such things.”
Come to think of it, Dowon didn’t talk much with Muyoung about work. There was only a mention that his article would be resolved soon, and there was no separate word after that. Though Muyoung also hadn’t properly conveyed the current situation to Dowon, when recalling the meticulous consideration that usually asked about this and that, it definitely felt different.
“Then could it be that side also got some impact because of this article…”
“No way… Could it be that bad?”
“I don’t know how much it’s twisted. Even if I knew, there’s nothing we can particularly do. Our noses are three feet long right now. But compared to when we resolved the tabloid before, the speed is definitely slower and there’s no conveyed word, so I don’t know.”
Muyoung, who had been watching CEO Choi scratching his head and sighing as if his head hurt, blankly looked down at the phone he was holding. Even repeatedly turning the black screen on and off several times, there was no contact from Dowon.
At the same time, the worry he’d forcibly suppressed rose again. He fully knew that the work Dowon was proceeding with could suddenly increase and contact could become scarce like this when busy. He worried whether the scandal with him might not be interfering with such a busy him, and so whether… a problem had arisen.
“Contact will come soon. If something happens, he’ll at least say so…”
“Right, when contact comes, have a serious talk once. If this state continues longer, we might really have to come up with something like you said.”
While mechanically nodding at CEO Choi’s reply, Muyoung’s thoughts were elsewhere.
Even after roughly organizing the conversation and sending CEO Choi back, he continued his thoughts while quietly looking out the window. Because it was his own matter, his situation of wanting to solve it enthusiastically but not being able to felt somehow sad. Like CEO Choi said, doing nothing and just sitting still enduring day by day became increasingly difficult.
Though he considered revealing his position as the top priority, like CEO Choi said, he hadn’t even asked Dowon’s position yet. But it wasn’t like other proper talk had come out either.
The thoughts rising in a jumble were a mess mixed with ominousness and expectations. Still, if he had to take one fortunate thing, it was that at the end of those thoughts, Dowon’s voice that had tried to calm his anxiety would come to mind.
When the voice saying it would all be okay in a slowly soothing tone suddenly came to mind, he would have vague expectations that perhaps today the situation might improve, that something might happen so he could sleep a bit more comfortably. Though it was utterly modest because that was all he could lean on right now, he considered it better than having nothing at all.
The sun was already setting after how many hours he’d wasted sitting there. The end of the sky beginning to turn black entered Muyoung’s vision. Even after CEO Choi left the room, there was no particular contact. Section Manager Kim’s greeting text and curious questions from people he knew appeared here and there. Of course, except for Section Manager Kim, he didn’t reply to any of them. However, the fact that contact still hadn’t come from the person he was waiting for made Muyoung gloomy again.
Just then, the phone screen left on the table brightened. Vibration continued ringing without stopping in Muyoung’s hand as he hurriedly picked up the phone. It was a call, not a text.
“H-hello?”
Muyoung’s voice came out roughly because he answered urgently. Even he was startled and had to hold the phone away briefly and clear his throat.
— Um, isn’t this Lee Muyoung-ssi’s phone?
“Ah… that’s right. It’s me.”
— I was surprised. Is something wrong by any chance? Your voice…
“…Ah, I think it’s a bit dry. Nothing’s wrong.”
It was a call from Dowon. Though Muyoung awkwardly made excuses because the fact that he’d been waiting continuously for the contact that had become scarce was embarrassingly pointless, Dowon seemed to agree. Rather, perhaps already knowing well that Muyoung’s situation wasn’t free, his attitude conveying worried words was gentle and polite.
— I see, tell me if you’re uncomfortable. We can change hotels. Above all, Muyoung-ssi should be comfortable staying there.
“That’s… No, I don’t want to make you worry any more than this.”
— Though I know well even now that you won’t listen even if I say I’m disappointed…
“…I’m sorry.”
— I didn’t want to hear those words from Muyoung-ssi even more. No, let’s stop this talk here. It’s a conversation that could make you depressed.
Though Muyoung had wanted to act dignified pretending to be fine, he ended up stammering again at Dowon’s words saying he was disappointed. Dowon’s consideration that first guessed and organized such feelings of Muyoung’s was unchanged. However, he felt shameless for trying to lean on Dowon while constantly making excuses. Though even this stopped at self-deprecation.
The gradually thickening gossip couldn’t be good for Dowon as well as Muyoung. After the article broke, the situation of sensational and dirty descriptions being added while passing through the public’s mouths wasn’t something anyone wanted. Moreover, right now criticism was also continuing for things that had never been committed. No matter how much Dowon was confident in being used to such things and quick to respond, that would be the case. Even if he didn’t have the ability to give help, he wanted to prevent becoming a flaw.
“CEO Choi came today. He said the situation isn’t improving much…”
— It’s not a subject that will easily calm down. Originally, don’t people want to give advice on others’ romances? Even though it’s not their own matter.
At Dowon’s small laughter heard while speaking lightly, Muyoung let out laughter along with him. Perhaps it was because he was this kind of person that he’d leaned on him too naturally.
“So I was going to ask whether it might be better to reveal that I’m an omega before things grow bigger. Though it’ll be a bit hard right now… because not making any statement and just enduring seems to make things grow bigger…”
While thinking he was experiencing the things general trait-bearers had to go through a bit late, Muyoung continued speaking. Though he’d have to make tremendously many efforts to correct the wrong facts already known to the world, he thought that too would be okay if he considered it as needing time for the public to accept without burden the fact Muyoung hadn’t revealed through silence.
“Of course, you’d know better than me, CEO, but at least wouldn’t the rumors that I deliberately lied or the strange words constantly attached to you calm down a bit?”
— I fully understand what Muyoung-ssi is worried about. I understand too. I don’t think you can decide alone though. Have you finished discussing with your agency?
“I only said this is what I think. It’s not something to decide urgently right away.”
Amid the confusion, he swallowed inside the words that he’d been waiting all day for Dowon’s contact. Though he was someone who had shown various unseemly appearances in front of Dowon, the words that he’d even waited for someone moving busily in this situation were somehow embarrassing.
— Professional help will probably be needed. Because media concentration differs depending on whether you just make a general statement or go as far as a press conference.
“…I see.”
Muyoung’s head, which had been thinking of explaining about himself as about the level of a handwritten letter, became complicated again. He’d just vaguely thought revealing the facts would do, and hadn’t even thought of the option of a press conference. However, Dowon, whose thoughts seemed different, continued explaining calmly to Muyoung.
— Brief statements will be announced by media companies. But that’s the end. It’s just writing where you can’t gauge what face Muyoung-ssi makes such talk with, or whether there’s no lie in that talk. Though there won’t be things that don’t become article material, the ripple effect will be smaller than expected. It’s not because it’s Muyoung-ssi—the public is always like that. Sensational matters spread quickly and widely regardless of content, but they consider the truth slow and old-fashioned. But if a video or photo is attached there, wouldn’t they press it at least once out of curiosity? The spreading speed will be different too.
What Dowon explained logically wasn’t wrong. Muyoung’s thoughts just hadn’t reached that far—wouldn’t there be a manual for cleaning up according to the severity of matters like the story he’d just heard when such things happened? Muyoung, who had listened to the explanation to the end, slowly began to speak his endless thoughts.
“…Wouldn’t things grow bigger if I held a press conference? For example, words like my expression being bad or it being a story made up just to escape.”
Muyoung, who had understood all of Dowon’s words, brought out the worries that kept piling up. Though he considered that he should speak his true self without hiding to the public that kept distorting things, he kept being persuaded by CEO Choi’s words to endure. The reason was doubt about whether the endless suspicions could really subside. And even now, he hadn’t properly gained conviction.
— Muyoung-ssi, do you perhaps remember when we first met?
“…When we first met?”
Muyoung, who had been concentrating on Dowon’s voice coming out, showed doubt at the question suddenly given.
“I remember… of course.”
— Didn’t you feel reluctant about the words of having a good feeling, the gift, everything? Saying you weren’t in a position for that and had no thoughts of meeting people. Of course that was also a reason, but the heart of not trusting me was probably the biggest.
“That’s…”
Though he wanted to deny Dowon’s words somehow, Muyoung couldn’t find words to reply. Because it was an undeniable fact. At that time, he’d only considered his own situation as something he had to bear entirely alone. It was even more so because his body was also bad, right after being notified of separation by Jinho and suffering difficulties from trait abnormalities.
It was a time when he had no proper place to lean on or person to talk to. The person who acted as if understanding everything even before he spoke his worries or circumstances and just pushed to meet unconditionally was Dowon.
“At that time, it was just… because there was no reason for you to say such things to me right after meeting, CEO…”
— Isn’t it something no one knows? Falling in love at first sight is also a common enough setting to be used as a regular subject in dramas, so why do you think it doesn’t apply only to Muyoung-ssi? I should take the blame for not immediately giving trust.
“…It’s not that I didn’t trust you at all, CEO.”
— Anyway, that’s how it is. People who will believe will believe and pass over this matter, and people who won’t believe will make nonsense while not believing to the end. You don’t need to worry about that one by one. If Muyoung-ssi shows sincerity and works sincerely like until now, won’t a time come when everyone thinks it’s so?
“Sincerity…”
— Well, you’re not good at hiding things. You have no talent for lies either.
“…It’s probably not to that extent.”
— If Muyoung-ssi thinks so, I can’t help it.
Though Dowon’s tone replying nonchalantly was as usual, it also didn’t seem like he was agreeing with his own rebuttal denying it, so Muyoung quietly exhaled instead of answering. And for a moment he recalled when they first met.
The first impression of the man who seemed large enough to make the inside of the ordinary reception room look full and the skilled attitude that politely led to promising the next meeting still couldn’t be forgotten. His appearance that led him, who was unfamiliar with the awkward meeting and continuously flustered, as if it was nothing wasn’t much different even now. But though it wasn’t very distant past, was the reason it felt like quite long ago because his own gaze looking at him had changed, or else…
— So try doing as you wish once. Tell me if you don’t think you can do it alone. Did I mention I also have some talent for causing accidents? When determined, no one can stop me.
“That doesn’t seem like something to boast about…”
Though he muttered while pointlessly rubbing his knee with his finger, he couldn’t erase the laughter already showing at the end of his words. The stiff texture of the pants he was wearing was being pressed at Muyoung’s fingertips to the point of becoming soft.
— Certainly what I just said wasn’t a boast. What is there to boast about…
Though Muyoung had been listening even to the playful tone, no more words continued from beyond the phone.
“…Is there nothing to boast about except causing accidents?”
Muyoung, absurd at the sudden silence, ended up asking a pointless question first.
— Are you disappointed that I’m a more lacking person than you thought?
“CEO…”
Tension loosely released to the point he couldn’t even think of composing the title scattering helplessly. Eventually laughter burst out and Muyoung’s cheeks softly crinkled.
— Don’t think too heavily about it. It’s right that it’s something to think well about and decide. Just don’t try to shoulder it all alone.
“Yes, I’ll do that.”
After that, conversation not different from usual continued. Though he wanted to ask what kind of accident he’d caused, he felt it was precious to say over a call. Muyoung, who barely endured his curiosity until finishing, sat for a long while even after putting down the phone.
He got up from his seat and looked out the window briefly, then soon turned back and sat on the bed. Rather than blankly killing time, it seemed better to think of ways to escape this situation. Of course, it wasn’t something Muyoung could decide alone. Still, he thought it would become certain after exchanging words with Dowon several more times over calls from now on.
He looked at the ceiling while lying down sprawled backwards weakly. Was it because he kept tossing and turning unable to achieve proper sleep? Muyoung, whose eyelids suddenly became heavy, comfortably released his consciousness becoming distant without even changing posture.
Could he ask what kind of accidents he’d caused when they next met? Muyoung quietly fell into sleep while thinking he hoped it would be a more pleasant matter than expected. It was deep sleep visiting after a long time.
To be continued in Volume 3
