“I do watch CEO-nim’s mood and feel sorry, but the biggest thing is gratitude. I’m a bit clumsy at expressing myself and have a frustrating personality… so I’m just occasionally flustered……”
“Then if something like yesterday happens in the future, won’t you tell me?”
Muyoung’s words, which had been flowing slowly, stopped at the question asked while even tilting his head slightly as if curious. Though his lips moved, a proper answer didn’t come to mind quickly. Above all, his body shuddered even at the assumption that a similar incident would occur. The fear of becoming uncontrollable was one thing, but he hated more the malice or harsh words from Yu Jinho that he’d unintentionally been covered with. Thinking that Dowon was also covered with that together, he didn’t want to imagine what would come after even more.
“Shouldn’t something like yesterday not happen again……”
The reluctantly squeezed-out answer was words that couldn’t be called an answer at all. As expected, Dowon, as if that degree of answer wasn’t sufficient, asked again while serving side dishes to Muyoung’s bowl.
“For example, the question is whether you’ll try not to see me at all when Muyoung-ssi is having that hard a time.”
“……That’s not it, but.”
He would try to avoid it somehow. Along with that thought, Muyoung also felt that excluding Dowon entirely, no matter what hardship he was having, felt somehow unjust. First of all, since he was someone he’d decided to be with. If he was understanding this relationship properly.
“Still, I don’t want to make CEO-nim suffer harm.”
He unconsciously picked up the side dish served to him and pushed it into his mouth, chewing slowly. The tteokgalbi with just the right seasoning was cooked well, neither too crispy nor soft, and scattered smoothly in his mouth. It seemed like Dowon had deliberately served it knowing it would definitely suit his taste. After swallowing all the food, strength entered Muyoung’s tone as he continued speaking.
“I’ll probably be like that in the future too. I hate situations where someone suffers harm because of me. Though no one would like it either…… It’s not because it’s CEO-nim, it would be the same for anyone. However……”
At Dowon’s eye gesture to continue, as if waiting for the words to continue slowly, Muyoung took a small deep breath and continued.
“I won’t avoid or push CEO-nim away. The story I confessed yesterday was a bit late, but I wasn’t planning to keep lying or hide it entirely.”
“That’s fortunate. I was worried Muyoung-ssi would avoid me after today passed.”
“Ah……”
Simultaneously with Dowon’s answer, Muyoung’s face reddened. Avoiding his gaze, he lowered his face. Though he was embarrassed at himself desperately speaking to avoid misunderstanding, even more so because Dowon’s expectation was an action his former self would have done. He fumbled with the side dish in front of him for no reason and immediately put it in his mouth. He felt that if he at least had the excuse of eating something, he could reduce this embarrassment a bit.
“This seems more to your taste.”
However, Dowon didn’t leave Muyoung alone to avoid the situation. Before he knew it, the side dish bowl Muyoung’s hand had frequently gone to was placed within easy reach in front of him. As Dowon said, it was a side dish Muyoung liked. Unconsciously, he slightly lowered his head in thanks. Trying hard to hide his embarrassment, he brought his chopsticks. He liked the fragrant bellflower root scent spreading in his mouth. He also liked that it was sour yet the finish was spicy because of the chili seasoning.
The foods from this place were good both to look at and to eat, everything that came out. He could feel the menus had quite a bit of care put into them. Not a single side dish was carelessly made, and especially the side dishes Dowon passed over suited Muyoung’s taste even more.
Actually, he knew. That it was so because the person sharing this meal was the person before his eyes.
“……Thank you. Really.”
“Yes, today I’ll just accept those words.”
At Dowon’s quite firm words, Muyoung ended up letting out a small laugh. Though he knew the stubbornness was considerable every time he saw the occasional refusal to bend opinions, even being this persistently stubborn wasn’t unpleasant. Though a bit exasperating.
Dowon ladled the newly arrived soup into a bowl and placed it before Muyoung. It was useless even though Muyoung repeatedly said he would do it himself. Only after seeing him unavoidably receive the generously filled bowl first and take a spoonful did Dowon also take care of his own portion. It was also a small happening that occurred every time they ate together.
“I think I understand what you meant by CEO-nim being stubborn.”
“This is me holding back because it’s in front of Muyoung-ssi. If I’m openly stubborn, no one can handle it.”
“……I really should be careful from now on.”
Muyoung, who spoke while moving the jeon that seemed to have his hand frequently go to it in front of Dowon, smiled awkwardly. Seeing Dowon’s face with a smile deepening a bit more at such a touch, Muyoung instead quickly turned his gaze away. But the needlessly ticklish air didn’t fade from the feeling lingering on his cheeks.
That atmosphere continued even until they slowly finished the meal. Though Muyoung also had things he wanted to say, he could avoid being impatient. The words exchanged throughout the meal were both everyday and not. Muyoung showed as is the things he experienced or felt, and Dowon also casually handed over his daily routine. Though until now he’d tried not to look closely, Muyoung was feeling anew that a mealtime listening to the daily life of someone close was this peaceful and reassuring.
Come to think of it, it had been a long time since they had a leisurely meal together. Originally last evening should have been that way, but even with just the time now after everything, learning many things about Dowon made the ordinary meal approach quite newly.
The fact that Dowon woke up a bit early every morning and never skipped exercise was also new, as was the fact that when he sometimes wanted to rest he went to the pool, and that though there wasn’t particularly food he disliked, he didn’t eat fresh ginseng well. The unknown facts heard in a familiar tone were strangely enjoyable and also pleasing to Muyoung. Though he couldn’t know what this time was like for Dowon, he also felt the wish that it would be a not-bad time for him too.
“……I’m planning to go back to the hospital I was examined at soon. I had postponed my checkup.”
Muyoung opened his mouth while firmly pressing with a small spoon the frozen ripe persimmon that came out for cleansing the palate. The flesh of the persimmon with only the surface slightly melted was crushed, leaving a round mark on the frosted outside.
“If next time you have time, together……”
“Of course. When are you going?”
Muyoung, who had been looking at the vermillion-colored flesh filling the spoon while hesitantly suggesting accompaniment, unconsciously raised his head brightly to look at Dowon. Not because he didn’t trust Dowon who spoke clearly to the point of being firm, but because he didn’t know he would answer this quickly.
“Uh, I mean… you’ll be busy, so you don’t have to match me right away.”
“I should match you. Isn’t Muyoung-ssi in quite bad condition now?”
“I was continuing to receive treatment and heard it had improved a lot. Though they say I need to have my condition checked regularly…… It’s not that urgent, it’s not. First I’ll go alone. Please go with me next time.”
In fact, he’d also been to the hospital not long ago, and there was a bit of time until the next treatment. Actually, Muyoung needed a bit of preparation. Though sudden, he’d naturally been thinking he should go together with Dowon once. It was because he judged it would be better for the doctor to see Dowon directly since it was a matter related to traits, not something else. However, he thought it would be a few weeks later at the earliest. He’d planned to receive consultation alone before that and then coordinate time with Dowon.
“Let’s go together. I said I wouldn’t let you go alone. I said those words yesterday evening.”
“Anyway, all I do is just take a few tests and get examined.”
“It’s good for those around to know about trait-related things. Even more so if there’s an abnormality.”
“Ah, that’s right……”
It was a part Muyoung hadn’t thought of. Though he realized it now after hearing it from Dowon, it was true he felt caution was needed. Even with just yesterday’s matter, if there had been someone else who was a trait individual nearby, he too might have noticed in advance that Jinho’s pheromones were strange. Or at least, it seemed he wouldn’t have committed such a reckless act. Above all, since he was someone conscious of his surroundings.
Now that CEO Choi and Section Manager Kim also knew about his trait, there was no more reason to hide it. When thoughts reached the point that if his body improved even a little he could increase work again, he could no longer stop Dowon.
“……Then, I’ll check with the hospital and contact you.”
“Set it as soon as possible at a time convenient for Muyoung-ssi and let me know. I can match that much.”
“……Yes, I’ll do that.”
Watching Dowon nod, only then did Muyoung lift the spoon he’d been holding and bring it to his mouth. The soft persimmon touching his tongue tip was swallowed, leaving a sweet refreshment. The sweetness spreading coolly suited finishing the comfortable meal well, but watching Dowon’s fingertips move together was also somehow fascinating. The neatness of movements being tidy without making eating sounds and the speed being constant caught his eye.
The habit of observing someone that developed while acting wasn’t bad. No, rather it was enjoyable. He was someone with this sense of gaze naturally going and remembering even without consciously trying.
Though tasks pushed far away came to mind in his head and then subsided, and there were also several things he had to do right away, he wasn’t breathless anymore. The days of desperately abusing himself felt a bit foolish, and thinking whether Dowon had also been steadily watching him in this state all this time, he also felt regretful. It would be a lie if emptying all the food slowly wasn’t burdensome, but today it didn’t churn inside like before.
