At the words that he already knew Dowon, Muyoung’s face hardened. Recalling even Jinho’s evasive attitude pretending not to know just before, he suddenly became anxious. He briefly turned his gaze toward Dowon who’d already gone inside, then looked at Jinho again.
“It’s strange to think I wouldn’t know. The tabloid that came out and went back in this time was about you and that Han Dowon, right? Right, that’s it. I thought it was strange. A person from Jaeyoung Group getting swept up in such a scandal. It wasn’t a made-up story. Ha, really.”
“…”
“Muyoung, you didn’t have much work compared to your career. Still, how could you even get a sponsor? It’s not like you were doing that when you were with me too, right?”
“…I don’t care as far as thinking whatever you want, but aren’t you embarrassed? Slandering someone you dated like this?”
A lowly sunken voice flowed out roughly. It seemed it wasn’t just his mood that felt scratched inside since meeting Jinho. Something inside finally went wrong and started stabbing even his stomach. Nevertheless, thinking he had to say what he wanted to say, he forced it out.
He didn’t care what thoughts and speculation he rolled him with alone. Even if rumors spread messily, it was a matter depending on how he handled it going forward, so he wasn’t worried. But he couldn’t endure even acting this way about the affection and time he’d poured out, and the person he should look at properly going forward.
“You should be the one who’s embarrassed. If the tabloid was fake, why are you two together in this place now? What reason would you have to know that person? You don’t even match his level.”
“When I knew and got along even with someone like you as senior and junior, isn’t it stranger to say an entertainment CEO and actor in the same industry can’t know each other? What exactly do you see me as? Don’t you think it’s strange that you’re pointing at me itself?”
“As you said, it’s not even a sponsor, really just acquaintances – let’s say that’s true. Then shouldn’t you rather be grateful to me? I took care of the imprint cancellation myself, kindly gave prior notice. You should know that people who do this much for a mere recessive Omega aren’t common.”
Tap, tap.
His brow furrowed at the appearance of tapping his cheek a couple times and shaking his hand as if something dirty had touched him while pulling away. There was even inexplicable anger mixed in the voice spat out as if threatening while approaching closely.
This situation was absurd though the criticism pouring on him for unknown reasons was unfair. Unable to endure it, laughter burst out.
“You’re… laughing right now?”
How had he spent 7 years together with that person? The darkly sunken past suddenly struck before him.
“Because I can’t not laugh.”
He should have appropriately replied and turned around to finish dinner with Dowon. He should have just ignored it without answering the sarcastic words. If he’d rather done that, he wouldn’t have been pushed to this situation. Unable to do anything about his stuffy chest, he exhaled greatly. Still, the corner deep inside his throat was completely blocked and wouldn’t clear.
“I’m not sure how great kindness was shown by a human who’d believe the tabloid is real. I at least don’t want to deny even the time spent with you. Sunbae might not know, but I treated you sincerely and did my best. Though I wonder what use that is now…”
The alcohol that had appropriately matched the dinner with Dowon churned as if trying to all come up to his stomach. He felt that much repulsion toward the person in front. If he didn’t immediately pull away, Muyoung would have retreated first. Nevertheless, he showily wiped the place that had been touched with his sleeve.
“If you won’t believe anything I say anyway, sunbae should properly take care of that fiancée you’re so concerned about. She must have waited long inside, so why are you here dealing with me, a recessive Omega, throwing her aside? That’s stranger.”
“…Well, because you’re pitiful?”
“…”
“A serious relationship between Han Dowon and you…? You don’t know yet, but you’ll soon realize it’s not a world you can fit into. When that time comes, you’ll understand what I said. Try to do well until then at least.”
After saying words close to abuse and patting his shoulder before going his way, he didn’t reply further to Jinho. He didn’t even feel the need to. Even the time listening and having conversation until now was unbearably tiring. Even himself who had to experience everything like this to know was pathetic. He just caught his breath at the fact that he’d escaped this situation.
Having endured the severe pain at the pit of his stomach from earlier, now even his hands felt gradually tingly. He shook his head to come to his senses even a little and moved his steps toward where Dowon would be waiting.
Even when they first exchanged greetings, he could act fine. Now, facing his face wasn’t even a big wound. It might have been different if he’d faced him when he wasn’t taking care of himself for a while, but at least now, the person called Jinho didn’t greatly affect Muyoung.
If taken as an opportunity to learn that fact, the current experience wasn’t entirely bad, so it was okay. So he just wanted to hear whether he was doing well now, why he had to leave him behind as if running away back then – trivial questions if trivial but felt like gates he absolutely had to pass for himself. Then it would be something to move past, so it was a greeting he could deliver as if nothing.
The imprint must have been like shackles to that person.
He hadn’t known thoughts were different from the very start. He admitted the start was sudden. That’s why Muyoung had guilt. Though it was unavoidable manifestation, he wanted to take responsibility for getting him swept up.
When they learned they’d imprinted with each other, he’d considered it proof they loved each other that much. Whether portals full of non-experts or specialist opinions, wherever he looked and struggled to visit and hear, he couldn’t know the exact cause. The ambiguous cause anyway created the bond called imprinting, so it was like proof the emotions between them weren’t tilted to just one side.
In the end, all those facts were only important to Muyoung. To the person he’d believed and loved, it seemed to have no value at all.
Returning to the lounge, Muyoung approached where Dowon was. His figure blending with the sparkling night view by the window looked splendid even now. Though his footsteps made no sound on the densely laid carpet, somehow knowing he was approaching, Dowon turned his head to look at him with a warm gaze. His expression showed no concern about what words had been exchanged outside just moments ago.
Whenever Dowon was like this, Muyoung somehow thought of the candies that were occasionally placed in his mouth as a childhood snack. Sweet hard candies that he could never buy with his own strength, but were given so easily by someone else’s hand.
After lining up to prevent the little kids from fighting, when he opened his mouth, a single candy would pop right in. Then he would roll it around as slowly as possible, reluctant to let it melt away. The bittersweet taste that disappeared soon no matter how carefully he savored it was good junk food that helped him forget his loneliness for a while. Wasn’t his heart leaning toward the kindness Dowon showed a natural result for him?
“That was a long greeting.”
“……I’m sorry for making you wait. Shall we go now?”
Unlike someone who had been waiting a long time, Dowon’s eyes looking at him were calm. Meeting that gaze together, Muyoung forcibly pressed down the emotions that had been uncomfortably stirring. He even felt his nerves, which had been cut to pieces by the sharp words he’d heard just moments ago, calming down a little.
While tidying up and finishing payment, Muyoung was so tired he could barely manage his body properly, but he didn’t show it outwardly. He didn’t want to display the stress he received from Jinho in front of Dowon.
He hadn’t known that after pathetically spilling out past events, he would encounter that very person. Though it was a coincidence, now that this had happened, it felt truly ironic.
How could seven years remain so unchanged? Muyoung knew well enough that with such a long time, not everything that passed between them could have been satisfactory to both. Well, what would change now by regretting it? He didn’t know how it started, but now he might have been nothing more to Jinho than just an omega in heat and a convenient junior. Even if the time he had respected as a lover was just his own sweet delusion, it might have been fortunate that it stopped at just this much.
“Muyoung-ssi, you look a bit tired. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Of course. I’m fine.”
Muyoung nodded and smiled a little. He wasn’t okay, but he found himself a bit funny for saying he was okay, and he was grateful for Dowon’s attitude that seemed to say it was okay not to be okay.
He had sometimes forgotten that having someone by his side could be this strengthening. His heart, where loneliness had gradually accumulated, shuddered at even small considerations and wanted to demand more, but he often cowered, frightened beforehand. Dowon would quietly wait each time. As if to say lean on him comfortably whenever he wanted. That attitude alone was enough for Muyoung.
“Where shall we go? It’s fine to have another drink, or we could rest comfortably.”
“CEO-nim, is there somewhere you’d like to go?”
The voice that reached his ears softly as they headed toward the elevator was pleasant to hear. Nodding his head at the comfortable voice, Muyoung stood before the door that wouldn’t open for a moment and looked up at the changing numbers. That moment.
“……young-ssi. Muyoung-ssi?”
Just as the rising numbers seemed to blur, his vision became hazy and then pitch-black darkness approached. Muyoung shook his head slightly, trying to come to his senses. He was terribly frightened by his vision, which had seemed perfectly fine until just now, turning black. He couldn’t tell what the problem was, but it was clear his body couldn’t endure it.
“Ah… I’m sorry.”
“Are you really okay? Wait, you have a bad fever.”
Dowon’s hand reached Muyoung’s forehead. It was already damp with cold sweat from who knows when. The elevator that arrived just then was empty. After putting himself inside, Dowon practically supported Muyoung. His body leaning against the wall swayed slightly from dizziness. Dowon, who had been trying to check Muyoung’s complexion under the slightly brighter lighting than the corridor, firmly wrapped his arms around his waist.
“……CEO-nim.”
“Hold on. It seems we should go to a room.”
“Right now, a bit. Something’s strange… it’s strange.”
Unable to hold his head up properly, even the moment Muyoung sensed Dowon’s atmosphere examining his face leaning into his embrace was unusual, he was already swept up in dizziness and the heat swirling inside his body and couldn’t speak properly.
“Try to stay conscious, Muyoung-ssi. Of all times, now……”
